Im a hypocrite

jcmrax5
jcmrax5 Posts: 133
in Health and Weight Loss
I find it so easy to stay on top of my kids and make sure they eat healthy. I do allow an occasional juice, a few cookies once a week maybe. a little jello for desert every now and then.
But i find it so hard to stay honest with my own eating. I buy one bag of cookies to keep on hand for the kids. i typically send 1 cookie with my oldest to school once a week to go with her junch, and ill give my son a treat once in a while at home. but i find myself hiding in a corner shoveling them in my mouth when the kids arent looking. I make them drink mostly water, with a few cups of milk a day. but i cant seen to be that strict on myself. My kids love eating healthy and will often pick fruits and veggies as a snack over a cookie but im feeling guilty.

anyone else like this? i know i need to stop buying the junk to prevent myself from eating it but then i feel bad. i know my kids dont NEED it. and they probably wont miss it if i just stop buying it. but i feel like they should at least have a chance to be kids and have a treat now and then. i dont want them to become so obsessed with their diet that they have an unhealthy relationship with food. i feel like im ruining that for them.

Replies

  • Apicius
    Apicius Posts: 61 Member
    I find it easier to buy things the kids like and I don't, so then I am not as tempted and they still get some treats. Or buy single serve packets.

    Remember also that kids don't pay attention to what you say, but watch what you do. They may be more aware of your habits than you think.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Don't fall into this trap! :D

    You are there to do the best for your kids. Regardless of whether you do your best for yourself or not.

    Should you make them all fat to be fair? How would that be fair? it's not, is it.

    You were a kid once, and when you were a kid, it was your 'time to obey'. It was your time to eat what you were given. But you are now into a new time, and it's your children's time in that phase now.

    My suggestion is to get rid of the biscuits entirely, because they are your enemy and your kids truly won't care. They really won't. and it's probably only going to have to be for the relative short term anyway! Do it now, while it's easy, while they're little and won't remember a thing.

    Get rid of it all, get yourself on track, and then maybe find a few lunchy things that you can feed them which you are not tempted by, down the track.

    When's the last time you were on a plane? Remember what they say? If an oxygen mask drops from the ceiling, put your own mask on first. THEN put the mask on your children. Take care of mummy. Do what mummy needs you to do. :)
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Why not schedule in daily treats for both you and your children? As long as you stay within your calories goal, and the rest of your diet covers your protein, fats, fiber and micronutrient intake, some cookies, cake, or ice cream won't cause any trouble at all.

    My children are both thin/athletically built, active and eat ice cream every day. My wife and I do too. Heck we've even had a few slices of cake over the last couple of days. Besides, if you schedule in those daily treats, then you may find that you're much less likely to binge on them.
  • sethskid
    sethskid Posts: 5 Member
    I agree with Beachiron. Stop making those treats forbidden and I'll bet you'll be able to control yourself and end the hipocracy. Plan them & enjoy them! :-)
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    I was exactly the same way with my kids. I had to stop buying those little bags of cookies and treats for their lunches because I would just eat them ALL after they went to bed. I, too, felt like a hypocrite because I would only allow them an occasional bag of cookies as a treat, yet I couldn't control myself around them. I still can't, so for now, those things are banned. Of course my kids can have cake and ice cream at birthday parties, etc., and of course they get treats at the movies, and desserts at restaurants, etc., but they've gotten used to not having that stuff in the house. They're thin and active and I certainly don't want to cause them psychological food issues. They honestly like snacking on baby carrots and blueberries when they get home from school. One day they begged me for McDonald's because they had seen some commercial on TV. We hadn't been there in ages so I said ok. They took a few bites of their happy meals and said "This food tastes like barf." I felt like my work was done. They eat healthy 98% of the time and enjoy junk food and candy on occasion. I'm pretty happy with the arrangement.
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    I agree with Beachiron. Stop making those treats forbidden and I'll bet you'll be able to control yourself and end the hipocracy. Plan them & enjoy them! :-)

    I just can't do that...yet. I'm a food addict and that stuff is like smack to me. But I admire people who can eat that stuff in moderation and I aspire to be like them someday...
  • jrbb03092
    jrbb03092 Posts: 198 Member
    Is there something your kids would enjoy in moderation but that you wouldn't touch at all?

    In my case, my daughter loved fig newtons when she was little and they made me want to retch. And now she likes pretzels (we choose the healthiest ones we can find and she only has one serving a couple times a week) which I can't stand.

    Either way, you're doing right by your kids and that's what's important. Now in her teens I've been honest with my daughter about the fact that I don't have a healthy relationship with food and that I admire her and her dad and how they can eat things in moderation and that I'm struggling to do that. I never talk about my actual weight or dieting. I couch it all in terms of feeling better, stronger, healthier.

    And I must have done something right (even if I've failed in doing it for myself so far) because my daughter has a really healthy relationship with food and very good self-esteem and she makes really good choices food and exercise-wise (swimming and self-defence classes) all around.
  • jcmrax5
    jcmrax5 Posts: 133
    Why not schedule in daily treats for both you and your children? As long as you stay within your calories goal, and the rest of your diet covers your protein, fats, fiber and micronutrient intake, some cookies, cake, or ice cream won't cause any trouble at all.

    My children are both thin/athletically built, active and eat ice cream every day. My wife and I do too. Heck we've even had a few slices of cake over the last couple of days. Besides, if you schedule in those daily treats, then you may find that you're much less likely to binge on them.
    I find it hard to stick to "just one". once i have it i want more. i need to learn self control before i go down that route. :)
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Why not schedule in daily treats for both you and your children? As long as you stay within your calories goal, and the rest of your diet covers your protein, fats, fiber and micronutrient intake, some cookies, cake, or ice cream won't cause any trouble at all.

    My children are both thin/athletically built, active and eat ice cream every day. My wife and I do too. Heck we've even had a few slices of cake over the last couple of days. Besides, if you schedule in those daily treats, then you may find that you're much less likely to binge on them.
    I find it hard to stick to "just one". once i have it i want more. i need to learn self control before i go down that route. :)

    Have you considered thinking about this as one way of teaching yourself self control? I'm not saying it's easy, and there are plenty of tricks that various people use to make it easier (buying single serving packages for example), but it is something that is a "must" if you want to end the cycle of binge and ban. I would start by absolutely not beating yourself up when you do eat a bit too much of anything. Make that the one absolute. Stop making it something to feel guilt or shame over, and instead go with the attitude of "it's just food,"
  • crazeeally
    crazeeally Posts: 10
    I agree with Beachiron. Stop making those treats forbidden and I'll bet you'll be able to control yourself and end the hipocracy. Plan them & enjoy them! :-)

    I just can't do that...yet. I'm a food addict and that stuff is like smack to me. But I admire people who can eat that stuff in moderation and I aspire to be like them someday...

    I usually only buy treats once or twice a week on the night the kids are going to eat them, I also buy them in small enough packages that the kids will finish them without my help (most of the time) or I'll buy them each one each individual candy bar and none for me.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    I agree with Beachiron. Stop making those treats forbidden and I'll bet you'll be able to control yourself and end the hipocracy. Plan them & enjoy them! :-)
    This. Allowing myself a treat, even if it's one small cookie, keeps me from binging. I factor in a treat of some kind as an evening snack and I enjoy it after my kids go to bed. That way I get to relax and enjoy my treat without having to hide from my kids. Saving 150 calories for a treat I order to save your sanity and your healthy diet is worth it.
  • Wrreck
    Wrreck Posts: 99 Member
    I agree with some of the others. Buy treats for them that you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. I don't have kids at home but I do have a husband with a major sweet tooth. He loves all things gummy and I hate them so that's an easy one for me to avoid. On the other hand, he likes to call me at work and ask me to pick up ice cream on the way home. That one is not so easy for me to pass up if it is in the house.
  • FatOldBat
    FatOldBat Posts: 3,307 Member
    I was exactly the same way with my kids. I had to stop buying those little bags of cookies and treats for their lunches because I would just eat them ALL after they went to bed. I, too, felt like a hypocrite because I would only allow them an occasional bag of cookies as a treat, yet I couldn't control myself around them. I still can't, so for now, those things are banned. Of course my kids can have cake and ice cream at birthday parties, etc., and of course they get treats at the movies, and desserts at restaurants, etc., but they've gotten used to not having that stuff in the house. They're thin and active and I certainly don't want to cause them psychological food issues. They honestly like snacking on baby carrots and blueberries when they get home from school. One day they begged me for McDonald's because they had seen some commercial on TV. We hadn't been there in ages so I said ok. They took a few bites of their happy meals and said "This food tastes like barf." I felt like my work was done. They eat healthy 98% of the time and enjoy junk food and candy on occasion. I'm pretty happy with the arrangement.
    Great job, seriously, on giving your kids an understanding of "barfy" food, because they're right! As for your own cookie monsterishness, perhaps buying really expensive sweet treats would help to rein in your gobbling impulses!
  • Apicius
    Apicius Posts: 61 Member
    I have had success with going cold turkey on these sorts of things. I used to get thru a lot of biscuits given the chance, and I did low carb for a while, and cut out all sugars except for fruit. While it took 3 months to even contemplate coffee without sugar, I can say now that a lot of things are way too sweet and I just don't like them anymore.

    I do sometimes treat myself in a cafe, but at home I would be clocking up 3 years and I reckon probably 5 bought biscuits, I guess a few more home made ones, but even these would be 1-2 not half the batch.

    I think for long term weight loss you just have to retrain your tastes. The craving salt-sugar-fat roller coaster is not a great ride for life!

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