Getting offended too easily?

2

Replies

  • RobbinRL
    RobbinRL Posts: 76
    I definately see why it would bother you but maybe turn it around and pickup some cheap second hand scrubs, role play and rock his world. He will be thinking only of you when he sees scrubs from then on!

    There you go! He said EXACTLY what I was thinking! It's what I would to do...! It surely cannot hurt and who knows you may have the time of your life!

    Robbin
  • Pulka_Dot
    Pulka_Dot Posts: 87 Member
    I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. My husband isn't in the Navy but I find the beige/sand colored uniforms with the white t-shirt underneath to be incredibly sexy but I don't expect him to wear it, nor would I ever ask him to.

    He married YOU! You, even though you don't wear scrubs. :)
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    It sounds like you were hurt because he said he finds scrubs sexy and you don't wear scrubs? I don't know. Doesn't seem worth getting upset about. If everything in your marriage is ok why sweat it?

    I took it as maybe she thinks he's getting turned on by other women wearing scrubs yet he finds nothing she does to look nice as making her attractive. So she's hearing it as "I find other women attractive, but not you, because you don't wear scrubs" since he doesn't compliment her much anyway.

    But I agree with the poster that said to pick up some cheap scrubs. No need for second hand. They're like 10 bucks at Walmart.
  • ames105
    ames105 Posts: 288 Member
    Men and women communicate differently. We have different needs and give support differently.

    First, you have to tell him what you need and how you feel. If him telling you that you looked nice in that dress is going to make you happier, you have to explain that to him. Sometimes men need to be pointed in the right direction. I'm sure if you tell him how you feel, he will make it a point to try and remember for the next time you are dressed up.

    Second, you have to meet him in the middle. If he likes scrubs on a woman, why not invest in them. You may not think you look attractive, but if he thinks its attractive, what is the harm in doing it? It could open up a whole new area of your relationship.

    Last, don't be so sensitive. He probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings, he was just expressing himself. It just happened to not be what you wanted or needed to hear. Communicate that to him and listen to him in return.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
    Sounds like he was making a joke? Scrubs have as much appeal as a mumu. Then again, ya never know about people's fetishes sometimes.

    This was my very first thought as well, and I wear them for work.

    To the OP, I think you should go get yourself some scrubs and see what happens.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Do you have sex? That means he's attracted to you.

    I've been in a few relationships. The one I'm in now is eight years and counting. Every time, the first few months are full of compliments and then they dwindle quickly. I rarely get one these days. It would be nice every once in a while, but I don't dwell on it.

    So go get some scrubs and wait for him to come home and see what happens.
  • asimmons221
    asimmons221 Posts: 294 Member
    I've done the same with my girlfriend and she took it in a similar way that you did.
    I doubt he meant to insult you, nor did he say it in any negative way. As a fellow guy, I'm sure he meant it in a subtle hint that you would look just as good in scrubs. I think woman sometimes divulge too deep into a males statement sometime, it's not that we are fantasizing about other woman, it's hey if they can look good in a dress they can look good in sweats or whatever else they wear to dress down.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Get a sexy nurse costume and a pair of scrubs. That should solve the problem.
  • joe_madre
    joe_madre Posts: 693
    Sounds more like maybe someone's lunar cycle is just about here. Find yourself a nice, quiet place to meditate for 4-7 days then come back to the real world and look at your post again.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I remember from another post you had he makes these little d1ckey off handed comments, and cant understand why you get hurt by them.

    He likes to go for the jugular with you. I dont know if I could live for 30-50 years of those little off handed "innocent" comments.

    Oh and just from how he sounds, I of course dont know the guy, but I bet if you bought scrubs and made his little fantasy come true (has he made any of your fantasies come true?) I bet he'd tell you that he doesnt like blue scrubs or you got the wrong style. I dont know just something tells me he isnt ever happy.
  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
    it sounds to me like you are codependent. You should speak to someone about this. You can not now or ever, rely on someone else to make you feel good about yourself.

    It is nice to receive compliments, we all want to be loved/liked but you sound like you need him to tell you how you look.

    PS he also sounds like a bit of a ****, but I only have your version of the story to go on.
  • modernshieldmaiden
    modernshieldmaiden Posts: 18 Member
    My boyfriend and I are both aware of each other's turn-ons that the other doesn't possess and it has caused 0 problems. I very VERY rarely give out compliments because that's just not what I do, and it's never caused a problem.

    I think you need to take a step back and breathe. Next time he says something like that, respond with something to the effect of "that's great, but I wear this for ME, not you." Because really, that's why you should be wearing/doing anything.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    OP deactivated.
  • LAnne16
    LAnne16 Posts: 272 Member
    Just because he thinks a woman in scrubs is sexy doesn't think he thinks you're not sexy... Like others have said, go out and buy some scrubs and surprise him.

    If I'm being honest, I don't think you should be getting upset over that. He also said that you all comfy in his lap was a good thing. Maybe that's his way of complimenting you?
  • Boogage
    Boogage Posts: 739 Member
    Mine doesn't even like me in clothes, he says they look better on the floor which is a serious problem for me as I hate my naked self!

    I don't get many compliments when I put on an outfit because he'd just rather I was naked.....no joke! Doesn't help me feel good when I'm wondering if I look ok in my outfit or not
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    I think you are being too sensitive. So what that he thinks women in scrubs are sexy/attractive. I'm sure you find things attractive that your husband may wear or not wear, do or not do! Doesn't mean you love him any less or vice versa. I really find tattoo's attractive on men, guess what, my partner doesn't have a tattoo, he hates them & he will never have one. Doesn't mean anything.

    My partner isn't very complimentary either but I deal with it, it is who he is, if it was that big of a deal I would have hit it on the head in the early days.
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    OP deactivated.

    What a cry baby!
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    You're making it into something it isn't.

    In fact, go buy some scrubs and surprise him.

    yup. dress up time!
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    OP deactivated.

    What a cry baby!


    apparently she could not handle the advice she was given.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    cherio256 has deactivated their account.

    ruh roh. Maybe interwebz forums aren't the best place for low-self-esteem folks.

    HER words, not mine :grumble:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    OP deactivated.

    What a cry baby!


    apparently she could not handle the advice she was given.

    I think it is more that she could not handle that maybe she really was overreacting. I bet she was expecting this thread to go a completely different way.
  • mandasalem
    mandasalem Posts: 346 Member
    It's definitely taken me a bit to realize that the whole point of fantasy isn't "I want something you can never be/have never been," it's just "Different can be good." And as many others have said, scrubs = major easy and comfy roleplay. Helllll yeah. It's way cheaper than corsets, latex, heels or other things. Go for it.
  • aezaidan
    aezaidan Posts: 31 Member
    Sounds more like maybe someone's lunar cycle is just about here. Find yourself a nice, quiet place to meditate for 4-7 days then come back to the real world and look at your post again.

    Wow... way to be a total jerk. So just because a woman has feelings she must be on her period?? Not cool, dude, not cool at all....

    And no... I'm not on my period.... I just find misogyny super offensive.....
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    She was sitting in his lap?

    And he doesn't pay enough attention to her?
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
    I don't get the whole "He doesn't complement me thing." Get over it.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    Ok, serious question. First of all, I know I have low self esteem. I don't know why. When it comes to my husband especially. Maybe it's because he never compliments me or anything, but that's another subject. We got home from church today and I changed into shorts and a shirt and sat in my husbands lap. He said 'much better. I don't find dresses sexy like most men ' . I laughed and said it was a church dress. He said he dosent care for dresses in general, what he thinks is most sexy on women is scrubs. I said, huh. Then it hurt my feelings because I've never wore scrubs as I have no reason to. I told him that hurt my feelings. He said I was making it into something it's not. Ok, maybe I was being overly sensitive, but he said nothing to make me feel better. I feel like I'm constantly craving male attention because he dosent give it to me. Even after all the weight I've lost it still seems to not make me more attractive to him. He says I am, but it's like pulling teeth to get a compliment around here. Maybe I'm just being a cry baby.

    My hubby is like that too. It's like pulling teeth getting him to notice changes that I have made. I got super pissed at him about 18 months ago because he noticed that someone he saw like 2x a year had lost weight, but I had lost 15lbs, and he didn't say boo about it.

    It sounds bad, but I get my male attention elsewhere. I am close friends with several guys at the gym, and they never hesitate to tell me " wow! You look like you're losing" " I can see the muscles developing in your shoulders" or " you looked GOOD over there in the squat rack". I know they don't have romantic intentions towards me...
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I find it ridiculous when guys can't seem to just compliment their women a couple times per day because they are "men of few words." That excuse would really irritate the hell out of me. If he can talk, then he can do it. It's asking for so little to make her happy, which is all he really needs to understand. Same thing goes for women who should also do little things to make their men happy, especially if it's something small and basically effortless. None of this is that complicated.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I find it ridiculous when guys can't seem to just compliment their women a couple times per day because they are "men of few words." That excuse would really irritate the hell out of me. If he can talk, then he can do it. It's asking for so little to make her happy, which is all he really needs to understand. Same thing goes for women who should also do little things to make their men happy, especially if it's something small and basically effortless. None of this is that complicated.

    Sammiches, beer and none of that "let's talk" stuff during football games . . .
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    OP deactivated.

    What a cry baby!


    apparently she could not handle the advice she was given.

    I think it is more that she could not handle that maybe she really was overreacting. I bet she was expecting this thread to go a completely different way.

    I feel like it's cause everyone suggested that gettin down with scrubs was the solution. no one seems to want to use sex to solve their "he doesn't pay enough attention to me" problems. oh well, more for me.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    I feel like it's cause everyone suggested that gettin down with scrubs was the solution. no one seems to want to use sex to solve their "he doesn't pay enough attention to me" problems. oh well, more for me.
    You mean people like to feel valued for being more than just a sex "vending machine"? :huh: Balderdash, I say.

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