Feeling like too much of a failure to start over.

"When you are sick and tired of starting over, stop quitting".

I saw this quote on another thread, makes sense, doesn't it?

'Losing it right' is one thing, but if you didn't make a permanent lifestyle change then it stands to reason you would gain it back. You're not supposed to 'diet', you're supposed to change your habits for the rest of your life. You did it once, do it again; this time permanently.

I could have written this post. I lost about 15kg last year so I decided to relax a bit over xmas and new year. Just a few naughty things now and then but once I started being naughty I couldn't stop. Holiday season was well and truly over but I kept telling myself it's ok you'll get back to gym very soon. Well very soon turned into 8 months I gained back 13kg.
I finally went back to the gym and I have now lost 7 kg. I hated myself for what I had done. All that hard work for nothing. It was a hard lesson to learn. I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I have now realised that there is no quick fix.
I didn't gain this weight over night and I won't be able to lose it over night. It's going to be an ongoing battle for the rest of my life.
But If I don't try I'm just going to keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

Hey, my friend - I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said, but didn't want to pass this without saying something. I KNOW for a fact that you can do it. You were such an inspiration to me in the spring, with a dedication that I still can't quite seem to equal! It's not like you're starting from scratch, anyway - what was that about a 5K this past weekend, followed by an amusement park? I think I would have died. Give yourself credit for being the strong person you are, sweetie.

So much supportive advice on this thread! it's been helpful to me just reading it!

Yes, many of us have been exactly where you are. I too am an emotional eater. I've lost the same 40 lbs at least 4 times now...but the only way to truly fail, is to give up. As long as you keep trying, you'll get there!

One thing I would suggest is that you focus less on your long term goal and more on short term goals. Fitting into one size smaller, or even having your favourite jeans fit a bit looser! After all, even a 5-10% weight loss will allow you to feel so much better! it will motivate you to keep on going!

Put one foot in front of the other, making as many healthy choices as possible in the run of a day, and be patient with yourself. You'll get there!

Now I eat out (mostly fast food) for almost every meal - I think I ate one meal at home last week. Part of this is time - I am taking 18 hours of classes and work about 25-30 hours a week. Mostly, though, it's just laziness and a genuine enjoyment of eating out, even though now I feel like absolute crap every time I do it. I can't afford it anymore, financially, emotionally, or physically, but I keep doing it.



I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated, and I feel like such a failure. I need some serious support here. I desperately want to get back on track but I just can't get over the mental hurdle of feeling like I'm too far gone.

You need to seriously consider finding a way to automate your day. Find 2-3 breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas (centered on whole foods that are convenient or foods that are healthier than what you have been eating everyday) and eat those in rotation for a few weeks while you get yourself to a place where you are not so overloaded with obligations. Perhaps until the end of this semester and then take less classes next semester. Seriously, no need to rush out of college, b/c the job market sucks! If you already have an offer and are speeding through to get to that point, then continue on with the automated daily food schedule. Also, keep your sodium levels low, low, low - and avoid alcohol, if possible, as these two factors play havoc on two things, your bloat (thus weight each day can bounce like crazy) and appetite, everyone who has ever drank a bit too much knows what I mean here. You will begin to get bored with some items, but it is important to log very closely when making changes to see what kind of impact it will have on your caloric intake for the day. This can also cause cravings, especially if you eat certain foods that were triggers for you in the beginning. For me, I can't eat dairy, but I choose not to eat gluten, except on rare occasions, however will say that m overall chronic pain subsides greatly when I take it out of my diet.

LEARN to love convenient fruits and veggies. I know how it feels, you think people are looking at you thinking to themselves, Oh there's the fat girl eating a banana, (apple, nectarine, etc,etc) when she should she be eating nothing." WRONG! If there are any of those people thinking that, f$#* them and their thoughts, real people think, NOTHING. They are too consumed with their own lives to give a damn what you are eating, so eat what is good for you. Seriously, you are way too young to do this to yourself and way too pretty to let it rob you of that special gift that you were given. I gained weight after returning to school at the age of 28, talk about a hardship - losing weight in your 30s! Don't let this happen to you.

I probably will get "shot" for this, but don't even worry about the exercise yet. If you can, always try to walk to class, work, etc, but don't try doing too much at once as it will only overwhelm you. Also, don't expect it to all change in a month or two, or expect to lose weight quickly, b/c you won't and you shouldn't (no one really wants cottage cheese thighs, do they?)

You can do this, just try to do it so that you are not putting more burden and stress on yourself, it sounds like that is the last thing you need.

Good luck girl - you will get through this (((hugs)))

There's no where to go but up... or down in this case. When you fall do you just sit there, NO, dust yourself off and get up and try again. And you may fall again, but if you surround yourself by positive people you will have help along the way!

You can do this.

YOU can do this... nobody is a failure unless they want to be...you are still here....You can do this just get back on the horse and get going... we are all here to help... all of us have fallen off but we get back up rdust ourselves off and tackle the biggest challenges...YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

Sometimes a bad day can last a year. You are not starting over. You already have all the knowledge and experience to get you where you need to go.

99% of people fail before they succeed.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

THIS!!!

You only fail when you stop trying - I have lost weight and put it back on and yoyo'd all my life, but I know that if I stopped trying I would be the size of a house by now - so I can only keep trying as one day it will all fall into place and it will work for me