People who request "motivated" friend.

Options
Krista916
Krista916 Posts: 258
in Introduce Yourself
I'm rather new the the message boards here but I've seen several threads asking people to friend them because they need inspirational or motivated friends or they need people to help them stay on track. I have added several people because I feel like I am a very motivated person or we have soem of the same interests and I was hoping that if I would be motivating these "new" friends, they'd do the same in return. That is not the case.

I guess what I'm getting at is if you are asking for motivation and friends to cheer you on and tell you how great and awesome you are, expect your friends would like the same in return. Just saying....
«134

Replies

  • Natalie511
    Natalie511 Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    I completely agree with you ...I befriended a few people like that recently and I comment on their entries but they don't even respond to my questions about them...it's ridiculous...
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    Options
    nicely said
  • Jim_1960
    Jim_1960 Posts: 399
    Options
    Annoying as hell and I find the "Remove Friend" button gets used fairly quickly in these cases.
    I don't get it myself.....
  • LumpySpacePrincess1
    LumpySpacePrincess1 Posts: 388 Member
    Options
    I don't know how to be motivational through words.
    So I bought a cheerleading outfit and party favours.
  • nena49659
    nena49659 Posts: 260 Member
    Options
    I don't think I have any of you on my friend's list however, I'd like to apologize to anyone that I may have been lax in encouraging on your profile page. I don't always notice when someone has posted something new on the threads. I will try to be more observant.
  • LauraElectric
    LauraElectric Posts: 51 Member
    Options
    I've had MFP for around 3 weeks now, and I am loving the few friends I have made and all the chat/support/motivations/congratulations but I do think the MFP is set up quite badly for the social stuff, especially the newsfeed. You get an email to say someone has commented but I don't usually have my emails open when checking in on MFP. Would be good to have a little notification icon like you have for messages and friends so you can see your interactions. Like I said, I'm pretty new so if there is something I'm missing I would love to know!

    And I'm super active on here (but a bit shy about making friends) so also anyone please feel free to add me, I log everyday and reply to everything if I see it.
  • sherrylee1959
    sherrylee1959 Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    Hello, I joined a few months back but already have been discouraged. I am beginning to think that I just can't lose weight. In fact I have gained 5 pounds since I joined. I can't get motivated! So if anyone has some encouraging words or some idea of how to get started, I am all ears. I need help to get motivated somehow.
    Sherry
  • LauraElectric
    LauraElectric Posts: 51 Member
    Options
    Sherry - One of the thing I have found keeps me going is making my Food Diary open (mine is public but you can make it friends only) so that I knew EVERYTHING I logged could be seen by my friends and anyone else who looked. I have found this a great way to make me think about everything I eat, I know it may not be for everyone but for me it has really worked.

    Having lots of friends helps too, so even if it is just the fact you have logged in for a few days in a row, you get some support and 'well-dones' :)

    Feel free to add me.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    Options
    At the end of the day, motivation comes from within. But encouragement definitely should be expected.

    I suppose in general, it's possible that people might expect to come on to this site and receive a pack of cheerleaders whose responsibility it is to push them onward.

    It doesn't really work out that way. Best results seem to come from people with which there's some connection, and then only if the relationship is developed through communication.

    *shrug*

    Also, I'm not encouraging or motivational, I'm just here to look at profiles. :devil:
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Options
    When I started, I thought I would try to make a bunch of friends the first week or so, but it didn't work out quite that way. The ones I made weren't the ones I had anything in common with. They're all gone, either having removed me because I offended them or they deactivated, or on the rare occasion, I deleted them.

    Just like in real life, friend development takes time. Long gone are the days where, at 5, we could walk up to the nearest girl on the playground, extend a hand and say "hey, wanna be best friends forever?" then skip off hand-in-hand to the swing set.

    I was a full 2 months in before I started adding people I actually like and interact with on a regular basis.
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    Options
    .
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    I've had great luck adding people I interact with on forums or through other people's news feeds. I get to know them a little and realize we have things in common and we click. I don't just randomly add people who ask for it.

    Or what Ginger up there said. :-)

    She and her husband are two of the wonderful people on my FL.
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
    Options
    I think people who feel they can't do this alone - want a 'Jillian Michaels' type of friend to 'whip them into shape'.

    It ain't gonna happen.

    You're either in this - and serious about it - or you're not.

    I started a month ago get very little 'support' from my 'friends'; that's okay - I am very disciplined - I don't need cheers from others.

    A few of my 'friends' I hear from consistently - the majority - I NEVER hear from.

    I just find it funny that you see a post EVERY DAY of someone looking for 'motivated friends' (i.e. - a virtual trainer to whip their butts into shape FOR them)..........!
  • sarapopefitness
    sarapopefitness Posts: 52 Member
    Options
    Feel free to add me. I provide encouragement regularly, and love getting it back! :)
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Options
    I'm only human, have my own life and my own issues, and I'm no one else's motivational speaker.

    Funny enough, I tend to add people to my FL who have similar goals and similar attitudes, and I'm not going to help someone who refuses to help him/herself.

    I do try help where I can though.

    meh
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Options
    SOOOOOOOO did you delete them before you wrote this or do they get to see how you feel about them?
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Options
    Hello, I joined a few months back but already have been discouraged. I am beginning to think that I just can't lose weight. In fact I have gained 5 pounds since I joined. I can't get motivated! So if anyone has some encouraging words or some idea of how to get started, I am all ears. I need help to get motivated somehow.
    Sherry

    Well, first and foremost you have to really want something to be motivated. Friends can only cheer you on and help keep you moving toward your goals. But you have to set a goal and really want to achieve it.

    My motivation is mostly health these days. I see my friends being diagnosed with hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, heart or vascular problems, back or joint pain, etc., and it scares me. I don't want to moan and groan every time I stand up (unless I'm sore from a hard workout :wink: ). I don't want one of those little container of pills that have to be taken throughout every day. I can't help getting old, but I can do things to not to feel old. So, I exercise and eat right.
  • romach79
    romach79 Posts: 277 Member
    Options
    @cranquistador ...oooh, ouch! Nice.
  • lannabelle
    lannabelle Posts: 85 Member
    Options
    you just made me LOL in my office. thank you! - was supposed to be a "quote" and reply to Lumpyspaceprincess1's post above.
  • adamalle
    adamalle Posts: 88 Member
    Options
    YES! Thank you, this p!$$es me off beyond belief. I've got rid of a whole page and a half of unsupportive friends.

Categories