A very, VERY personal question...
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Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
while I understand the primal nature of it- I'm kind of leaning toward you- it's a not a one way street.... and there isn't ONE way to do things. And it's incredibly personal- some people do not LIKE to be tossed about... some people LIKE being tossed and some like to do the tossing.
I think saying- "like a man should" is just narrow minded.
OP I am not sure I have any help for you other than maybe time to try new things- go hit up Adam and Eve and see if anything sparks your fancy.0 -
Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.0 -
Y'all expressed my disgusted sentiments perfectly.Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.
My opinion is that you have had a little bit of difficulty with stress, fatigue or whatever that caused you to miss a couple of Os and now it's been built up into a "thing" in your mind, which is why you get stressed about not being able to just let go. It's now a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the thing to do is probably spend a little bit of alone time "greasing the groove", just like lifting weights. You'll get your form back, you'll feel better and more relaxed, and you can enjoy your together time with your husband whether you "get there" or not. If you relax about "making it happen", eventually it'll start happening on its own again.0 -
Well your profile name might be the issue............................... hows your confidence level?0
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Y'all expressed my disgusted sentiments perfectly.Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.
My opinion is that you have had a little bit of difficulty with stress, fatigue or whatever that caused you to miss a couple of Os and now it's been built up into a "thing" in your mind, which is why you get stressed about not being able to just let go. It's now a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the thing to do is probably spend a little bit of alone time "greasing the groove", just like lifting weights. You'll get your form back, you'll feel better and more relaxed, and you can enjoy your together time with your husband whether you "get there" or not. If you relax about "making it happen", eventually it'll start happening on its own again.
And I'm with the original of this---I want a man to TAKE ME
don't act shy just do it!!! If not I am sOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO turned off0 -
I'm loving this thread...very informative, I love all the input here
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I'm going to say hormones as well. With your age and your massive weight loss over the year, that's two big changes possibly affecting the way your body could be dealing with/producing hormones. Try talking to a doctor. Blood work might help you figure the whole thing out really easily.0
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Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.
So, if I or any woman likes it rougher and the guy behaves that way, they don't deserve any???
What you said is as close-minded as the "like a man should" statement. Some women (like myself) absolutely do like it rough (and even very rough at that).0 -
Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.
So, if I or any woman likes it rougher and the guy behaves that way, they don't deserve any???
What you said is as close-minded as the "like a man should" statement. Some women (like myself) absolutely do like it rough (and even very rough at that).
AMEN0 -
Y'all expressed my disgusted sentiments perfectly.Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.
My opinion is that you have had a little bit of difficulty with stress, fatigue or whatever that caused you to miss a couple of Os and now it's been built up into a "thing" in your mind, which is why you get stressed about not being able to just let go. It's now a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the thing to do is probably spend a little bit of alone time "greasing the groove", just like lifting weights. You'll get your form back, you'll feel better and more relaxed, and you can enjoy your together time with your husband whether you "get there" or not. If you relax about "making it happen", eventually it'll start happening on its own again.
So agreed on that "take you like a man" bit.
But this too. Have you become so conscious about this that every time it happens, it just confirms that you're having issues and your brain and body are primed to have issues before you even get there?
Spend a little time alone, making sure you can reach orgasm on your own (which, if you can't, might be a HUGE reason to see a doctor and find out if it IS hormones) and otherwise, I know you said you do everything but does he (I don't know if I can get away with this on board) use his hands or his mouth on you? Or are you guys just go straight to it and you're using to being able to reach the big O that way. Maybe he needs to take a little time after or maybe you need to just relax and let go of that as the end goal for a bit. Play with some toys.
Also, maybe talk to him. Tell him what you've told us. How hot you stil find him. How much you enjoy sex with him but you're just not getting /there/. Of course, since it might become an issue for him as well (not in a bad way but in a determined one which might make things worse), maybe try the other stuff first.0 -
Try it in the pooper. That should fix things right up.
omg lol I was eating and almost choked to death :laugh:
I choked a little too when I read your response and then looked over at your profile pic...........covered in..............................mud........hopefully lol.0 -
[/quote]
Y'all expressed my disgusted sentiments perfectly.
My opinion is that you have had a little bit of difficulty with stress, fatigue or whatever that caused you to miss a couple of Os and now it's been built up into a "thing" in your mind, which is why you get stressed about not being able to just let go. It's now a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the thing to do is probably spend a little bit of alone time "greasing the groove", just like lifting weights. You'll get your form back, you'll feel better and more relaxed, and you can enjoy your together time with your husband whether you "get there" or not. If you relax about "making it happen", eventually it'll start happening on its own again.
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+1 for this - it can be a vicious cycle, the more you want to get there, the more you get hung up on trying to get there, the less you're going to get there.0 -
Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.
if my SO throws me around the bed and the room, he gets MORE....don't assume how you are wired is in ANY way the same as how I am wired. just don't.
that's close-minded.0 -
So why is this happening? My mind is not other places, there are no stresses interfering, he's not doing anything wrong. I can only suspect it's hormonal but my desire has only increased? But, on the other hand, I am looking 40 right in the face. Could it be that I exercise too much? I exercise at least an hour each day. I run, I bike, I lift, I do aerobics, I'm always changing it up and I really, really enjoy exercising. Am I getting too many "feel good hormones" from exercise that there aren't any left for him? I just don't understand. Has anyone else experienced this?
Try laying off the exercise on "date night" days. Make sure you are relaxed and if you can get the kids out of the house that is best. Shower together or do whatever both of you think is romantic. RELAX, RELAX, RELAX.
You might also discuss this with your dr. as you are at the perimenopause stage and some hormones may be at play as well.
And yes talk to him let him know you want him, but it just isn't happening. Make it playful and stress free exploration time.
Good luck, it sounds like you have a solid foundation to work from that is half the battle right there.0 -
Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?
I don't think I could hate this sentence more.
I'm with you on that one.
I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.
if my SO throws me around the bed and the room, he gets MORE....don't assume how you are wired is in ANY way the same as how I am wired. just don't.
that's close-minded.
I'm with her. Me likes it rough!0 -
Hotel rooms have magical aphrodisiac qualities for long term marriages.0
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The first thing I thought is that if he doesn't know that you don't reach the "O", then you must be faking it for him. Is that right? If you're faking, then you have other communication problems. On the other hand if he knows (and really how could he not?), then he must not really care, and that is a different kind of problem.
You really have to figure out exactly what is going on. As others have said, you may just be trying too hard. In that case if you just give it up and don't "work" toward the end you will do much better in reaching the end.0 -
It's probably hormonal but I doubt it's exercise related. Get thee to your doctor so he//she can run some tests.
^This. Could be perimenopause. But the good news is that it is likely only temporary.0 -
Hotel rooms have magical aphrodisiac qualities for long term marriages.
That's because you don't have to worry about c leaning up the afterglow. :laugh:0 -
ooooooo this is VERY good too!!!The first thing I thought is that if he doesn't know that you don't reach the "O", then you must be faking it for him. Is that right? If you're faking, then you have other communication problems. On the other hand if he knows (and really how could he not?), then he must not really care, and that is a different kind of problem.
You really have to figure out exactly what is going on. As others have said, you may just be trying too hard. In that case if you just give it up and don't "work" toward the end you will do much better in reaching the end.
NEVER EVER fake it! That's just.... lying.0 -
Hotel rooms have magical aphrodisiac qualities for long term marriages.
That's because you don't have to worry about c leaning up the afterglow. :laugh:
You can also pretend that you're picking up a one-night-stand in the hotel bar.0 -
One thing you could try and it is VERY difficult, is to stop thinking about it. Just go with the flow. I am sure he knows your spots after that many years and it has happened before. Worrying about it, WILL stop it from happening.0
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Wow ... You read way to much in to my statement.... It was a generalization in which to gather more information..
Light the Torches and get the pitch forks out because a man said something possibly sexists and perhaps suggestive.. Give me a break.0 -
time to get kinky, and wild and crazy
do stuff you have never ever done.
its not hormones, and its not too much exercise
get creative,,,,0 -
Maybe menopause is rearing it's head?? That isn't a horrible thing. Can you IMAGINE "NO more periods"?? lol. You can work around a lack of "desire" I would think.0
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as much as working out can increase your libido it can hurt it ........people fail to realize this.......let your body adjust and it will come back.0
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You're doing it wrong.
Simply put....stop thinking about. And there should never be more than a 3-day pause
Remember to take things out of the bedroom.0 -
It can be so many things, but hormones and sexuality can change for some people over time. It has for me, in some ways. You might have to change things up. Not all women orgasm the same, maybe you need to change up the norm. Losing weight can change your hormones and of course the age thing. It's always worth checking it out with the Dr.
Yea, what humans want sexually varies a LOT. It's a topic that fascinates me and I've read/watched about a wide variety of desires. Don't assume everyone wants the same thing. Of course that means not assuming that every man should want to to be the, "top," or that every woman likes it soft and romantic. The best thing you can do is find out what your partner really likes before engaging in any activity!0 -
You'd be amazed how simple things can affect you in the bedroom. Trouble is it happens a couple of times, you then worry about it, and then the worry makes it even worse.
I'd put it down to hormones and the major changes you are making to your lifestyle and body. Visit your doctor, but above all, try and stop worrying, as it will make it worse.0 -
It could be perimenopause0
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