Tracking food rousing suspicion of ED to my family
goalaska
Posts: 19
I've never personally had an eating disorder, but my mother has for the past 10 years. I really don't want to get into all that here, because my question relates to how my tracking and weighing of food is leading people in my extended family, and some friends, to believe that I have an ED. I weigh my food bc I was previously under-eating (800-1200 cals) in an effort to lose weight, but now that I've joined the Eat More to Lose Weight group I've committed to upping my calories to a much higher and healthier level (I'm on 1450 now and will increase by 100 calories per day each week until TDEE of 2100). I have to force myself to eat to reach my goal, they witness how much I eat, yet the measuring is throwing them off. People in my family who try to lose weight usually do so by a very pricy 'rabbit food' diet prescribed by a naturopath, or an all liquid shake diet; one aunt is considering lap band surgery. No one knows how to eat normally.
No one has actually said anything to me about measuring, but they exchange 'significant looks' with each other when I pull out my mini digital scale to weigh a piece of cake or whatever at family gatherings. I feel really humiliated at theses times, can't explain why. They make me feel sort of pathetic when I weigh and track. Meanwhile, they're all extremely overweight diabetics. I've heard that they are talking amongst themselves about my tracking, and insinuating that I have an eating disorder which is very embarrassing for me, because I've struggled with my mum's condition and now they're putting me under the same label.
I do get a little obsessive with measuring, but I attribute that to being a perfectionist . I cannot partially track my foods, or estimate, because I want to accurately track.
Sorry, this turned into more of a rant than a question. Any advice would be appreciated.
No one has actually said anything to me about measuring, but they exchange 'significant looks' with each other when I pull out my mini digital scale to weigh a piece of cake or whatever at family gatherings. I feel really humiliated at theses times, can't explain why. They make me feel sort of pathetic when I weigh and track. Meanwhile, they're all extremely overweight diabetics. I've heard that they are talking amongst themselves about my tracking, and insinuating that I have an eating disorder which is very embarrassing for me, because I've struggled with my mum's condition and now they're putting me under the same label.
I do get a little obsessive with measuring, but I attribute that to being a perfectionist . I cannot partially track my foods, or estimate, because I want to accurately track.
Sorry, this turned into more of a rant than a question. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Replies
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I'm sorry you're dealing with this when you're obviously trying to adopt a healthy lifestyle. I wish I had some advice, but all I can say is keep truckin' along and try to ignore their "glances." Hopefully, as you lose weight slowly and the healthy way, they'll see that you're happy and have more energy than ever! Good for you for doing it the right way, I know that can be hard when you don't exactly have anyone around you doing that.0
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I think you need to do what is best for you and try to ignore the looks from your family. I know it may not be easy but you ARE trying to get healthy and they should respect that. Good luck!0
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Bodybuilders and fitness competitors, even athletes weigh/measure food to make sure they are eating the correct amounts to fuel their bodies ... As you already know, their are other reasons besides weigh loss, to track your food ...0
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You need to focus on learning to eat properly, something which seems to have eluded the rest of your family. Frankly, if they can't understand the scale, they seem sort of thick headed.0
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I agree with KyliAnne26... Also I would talk to the few people that start the most waves & actually explain to them what you're doing & how it works. Perhaps they just don't understand the concept of calorie counting & that you ARE making sure your body gets what it needs. Ask if they've ever heard of 'weight watchers' & it's the same basic principle. Good luck & whatever you do don't quit!!0
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There is no shame in what you're doing so please do not let anyone in your family make you feel as if you should be self-conscious for being health conscious. It is your life and your responsibility to care for yourself. If they don't like how you're doing it then it's their problem, not yours. Ignore them and carry on. If you let them discourage you then you are only encouraging their glances and gossip.0
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Absolutely nothing wrong with weighing your food.... BRAVO!! I would not pay attention to them; I know that is difficult, but you obviously know what you need to do to reach your goals... Good on you!0
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Honestly, I would call them out on it when I see or hear them discussing. I would say "I know it seems like I am being too obsessed over this, but when I started tracking I noticed that I don't eat enough. So to make sure I do, I am measuring it. I don't want to short myself any of this delicious food!"
My extended family thinks I'm doing drugs.0 -
I've never personally had an eating disorder, but my mother has for the past 10 years. I really don't want to get into all that here, because my question relates to how my tracking and weighing of food is leading people in my extended family, and some friends, to believe that I have an ED. I weigh my food bc I was previously under-eating (800-1200 cals) in an effort to lose weight, but now that I've joined the Eat More to Lose Weight group I've committed to upping my calories to a much higher and healthier level (I'm on 1450 now and will increase by 100 calories per day each week until TDEE of 2100). I have to force myself to eat to reach my goal, they witness how much I eat, yet the measuring is throwing them off. People in my family who try to lose weight usually do so by a very pricy 'rabbit food' diet prescribed by a naturopath, or an all liquid shake diet; one aunt is considering lap band surgery. No one knows how to eat normally.
No one has actually said anything to me about measuring, but they exchange 'significant looks' with each other when I pull out my mini digital scale to weigh a piece of cake or whatever at family gatherings. I feel really humiliated at theses times, can't explain why. They make me feel sort of pathetic when I weigh and track. Meanwhile, they're all extremely overweight diabetics. I've heard that they are talking amongst themselves about my tracking, and insinuating that I have an eating disorder which is very embarrassing for me, because I've struggled with my mum's condition and now they're putting me under the same label.
Bunch of unhealthy family members projecting on you.
Tell them you are just trying to be accurate and not develop any sort of eating disorder and not become a diabetic, since it runs in the family.
I would also suggest you show your parents, they are the only ones who really count, this website. Show them how people are successful at turning around unhealthy eating patterns into healthy ones.
If they don't get it then they never will without extensive family therapy.
Just carry on and build the life you want for yourself.
“If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a LOT of time dealing with a life you DON’T want.” - Kevin Ngo0 -
When they exchange looks just offer to explain what you are doing. Offer to show them this site and how many calories you are eating and explain to them why it works for you. If that doesn't help, nothing will. As long as what you are doing is working and healthy, to heck with them.0
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My extended family thinks I'm doing drugs.
Seriously, that is so sick.
Just because you found something healthy to do to lose weight.0 -
My boyfriend blurted out "you're starving yourself!" last night at dinner after I offered him my last chicken leg.
Some people just don't understand all of the counting involved to maintain a healthy diet!
Ignorance is their downfall. Not mine!0 -
How sad that the one person who is eating the actually healthy way looks like the person with the eating disorder to your family. It must be very frustrating. I hope you don't let their ignorance get in the way of your success.0
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Honestly, I would call them out on it when I see or hear them discussing. I would say "I know it seems like I am being too obsessed over this, but when I started tracking I noticed that I don't eat enough. So to make sure I do, I am measuring it. I don't want to short myself any of this delicious food!"
My extended family thinks I'm doing drugs.
I have actually been worried about people at work thinking I'm doing drugs because of my weight loss. Not like seriously worried, but it has occurred to me. I think that any time people make changes, others don't know how to interpret those changes and tend to get suspicious. After all, it's very had to really make a change, as we here all know. It's easier for them to assume you are doing something wrong than it is to assume that change is possible.0 -
You said they were overweight/diabetic. I know it's easier said than done but just do what's right and healthy for you and don't worry about them! It sounds like they have their own problems they need to work on.0
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My extended family thinks I'm doing drugs.
Seriously, that is so sick.
Just because you found something healthy to do to lose weight.
I know. Most of them are overweight with several health problems, so to them the fact that I am back in a normal weight zone means I'm doing something wrong.
We had a family reunion last weekend and I heard my husband telling some uncles that they were so wrong and I literally worked my butt off exercising and fixing healthy meals for our family. He was in a fighting mood that they were actually discussing me that way.0 -
You said they were overweight/diabetic. I know it's easier said than done but just do what's right and healthy for you and don't worry about them! It sounds like they have their own problems they need to work on.
What he said...
Maybe you could share your MFP diary with them so they can see how much you're eating (calorie wise) and what a healthy (for you) diet looks like. Keep doing what you're doing and be that positive role model they need.0 -
How sad that the one person who is eating the actually healthy way looks like the person with the eating disorder to your family. It must be very frustrating. I hope you don't let their ignorance get in the way of your success.
this0 -
Typical MFP "everyone's jealous, lols."
Here's the thing. Your mother has had an ED for a decade; guess what?! EDs tend to run in families. Your family monitoring your zealous tracking might be because it's seeming similar to your mother's behavior. Obsessive tracking/weighing can easily tip into disordered eating if there's a predisposition, and there are debates on here all the time about this issue: the general consensus tends to be that pulling out a scale at a family function is a bit more extreme, particularly if you're trying to UP your calories right now and had been undereating.
It's awesome that you've become more aware of healthy calories and are trying to up. You might have to keep emphasizing that you're upping calories to avert their worry, but I think you need to take a second to see from their perspective (if this is all accurate guesses as to their glances). You have people who have had an ED in the family, so they know what ED behavior looks like... if you seem even slightly obsessed, they're going to worry.
And, keep in mind, you could be misinterpreting these "glances" anyway... but this hardly seems like a "We're insecure and jealous! Eat more" situation. This seems much more like a family concerned for your health.0 -
even on this site i still think Erectile Dysfunction when i hear ED. all those damn viagra comercials0
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i don't really know if this is technically accurate, but i'd say being obscessive over counting a cals and measuring isn't an eating disorder.
maybe OCD or something like that but if your still eating healthy and approriate amounds its not an eating disorder0 -
I keep a mini digital scale in my purse and my Auntie asked me if I was a drug dealer. Bahahahahahahaha. Blow off what anyone anywhere thinks. I struggle with this and try to remember daily that my life is mine and nobody else's counts.0
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Is it bad that I saw this subject line and thought "Why would counting calories make someone think the lead had gone out of your pencil?"0
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even on this site i still think Erectile Dysfunction when i hear ED. all those damn viagra comercials
lol0 -
Of course not silly. You're a boy.Is it bad that I saw this subject line and thought "Why would counting calories make someone think the lead had gone out of your pencil?"0 -
i don't really know if this is technically accurate, but i'd say being obscessive over counting a cals and measuring isn't an eating disorder.
maybe OCD or something like that but if your still eating healthy and approriate amounds its not an eating disorder
I have less healthy OCDs so I guess I'll consider this a win lol0 -
Only you know for sure...but I will say this...calorie counting has led many down the path of ED or at minimum, severely disordered thinking. Perhaps your family has experienced this themselves and so they are concerned that it may lead to something.0
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It may seem obsessive to them, but I would point out the obvious: "I'm weighing the cake because I'm EATING the cake."0
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I think its great that you're committing to a healthy lifestyle and eating a healthy amount of food.
That being said, I would look at someone weirdly if they hauled a digital scale out of their purse during a function and starting weighing cake.0
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