Discouraged by other people

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  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
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    Translation: they're insecure and believe that extra weight is the only thing standing in the way of their nice things (promotions, hot significant others, etc) going to you instead. Cattiness is their way of telling you that they believe the perks to pulling this off will go beyond health and treat it as unintentional motivation.
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    The fact of it is it's not their business what shape you have. They are being rude.
    I just looked at your profile. Where on earth do you work where they find 5'7" and 170 lbs. to be "fat / big / chunky"? Seriously, I am 5'7" with my highest being 190 and my weight has never been even noteworthy to co-workers. I understand different body types look different at the same weight, but at 170 lbs. I calculate a BMI of 26.6 which is within the normal health weight range. Good luck on the journey to be healthier, and please don't let these co-workers get you down about yourself.

    I'm really flabby in all places and it's becoming very noticeble even though I am tall. To be honest, I do realize that I am really the biggest/tallest girl in our group. But they don't have to constantly rub it in especially now that I am doing something about it. By the way, I also computed for my BMI and it says 26.63 which is still overweight, not normal.




    Thanks for all the response. I very much appreciate all of your support.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    Where on EARTH do you work that this sort of treatment is acceptable?!

    It's what she'd get where I work. It's quite common.

    They are actually, in their way, showing they care. they're teasing, to show she is one of the group, that she can handle being teased.

    Some workplaces, to be teased is a sign of success. Right? If you're getting picked on, you're getting noticed. People don't mean anything by it. People don't think you're getting distressed. People don't think... Heh. They're just going for a laugh at the orifice.

    Also: people don't actually like CHANGE. It destabilises them. There's something primeval about it. They don't want to have to renegotiate pecking orders, they don't want to have to learn new ways of relating to people... it's all too much. They want everyone to stay in their boxes and not move.

    :D It's not worth getting upset about. it's like King Canute, trying to stop the tide. It's an overwhelming force of nature so all you can do is protect yourself, by never telling anyone anything you're sensitive about, until it's ancient history and you're no longer sensitive about it.

    You would be stunned at the crap I got for smoking herbal, nicotine free cigarettes when I quit smoking. Not only from the smokers but also from the non-smokers. The non-smokers,. who like giving the smokers ****, gave me 3x more **** for quitting. Buncha derps.

    :D

    If this is the way people show they care about you, I'd really rather they didn't.

    The alternative, thinking they're evil and out to get you, is a thousand times worse and strategically idiotic.

    It creates feelings of victimhood, which creates depression, which creates failure.

    Never analyse people in such a way that you end up disempowered. For as long as you have a chance or a choice to overlook how they behave and carry on without any ruffled feathers, do it.

    Any other course of action is self-punishing and self-destructive.
  • Jazzabelle100885
    Jazzabelle100885 Posts: 23
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    I definitely learned from experience not to talk about dieting or losing weight with anyone other than my fiancé. People will always think they know better. They will always have a comment or something to say/ask.

    Stop talking about food, working out, weight. Don't engage in those pathetic conversations, just ignore it. Smile, but don't respond to it. Or talk to your employer, because to me, this sounds more like bullying.
  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
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    Wow, I'd say you should omit these people from your life, but seeing as you work with them it doesn't seem like that is possible. I think the only thing left to do is lose the weight and flaunt it.


    the other thing to do is report them to HR. if they are really saying the things the OP says they are saying Pretty sure that constitutes harassment.

    at the very least they all deserve a very stern talking to about saying things like that to a coworker from a higher up. that is really uncool

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