My intro! (a little lengthy)

Milynne
Milynne Posts: 95 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I've been using MFP now for about 17 days and thought I should introduce myself to help find others to keep me motivated, and in turn motivate someone else! :)

I have struggled with being heavy since about 3rd grade. I was always the shy, quiet overweight girl in class who kept her nose in a book because she was too afraid that looking up would find her looking at others making fun, cracking jokes or even worse, ignoring the fat girl.

In my early 20s, I decided it was time I did something about the way I felt about me and my health and started exercising and eating right...in turn, obsessing about everything I put in my mouth and how much I would exercise. I ended up losing about 80 pounds (dropping from 250 to about 165 - my lowest weight since probably middle school).

I felt emotionally and physically great, my body (although not nearly perfect) was the smallest I've ever been and I was motivated to do things, go places and date.

About 6 1/2 years ago I met the love of my life, got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Since then, I quit obsessing over any type of diet and just "Went with the flow.." that flow usually leading to high in fat, calories and cholesterol foods that were quick and easy. I gave up the exercising for mothering and thought it was OK because I found my loves and who cares?

Well, here I am again..225 and wondering what the heck happened to the me who cared about things..I've been on an emotional roller coaster and cannot stand to go to clothing stores because I hate how I look in everything and how tight everything feels. I feel like I'm that high school girl again, sitting in her room listening to sad music and wishing I could be the skinny girl at the party everyone flocks to.

Not anymore. I am here because I need to jump back on that weightloss track, not only for me but for my daughter (who doesn't realize how much she hurts me when she comments on my Big Round Tummy...she's 5..she doesn't know how sad it makes mommy). I want to be healthy so I can run and jump and play with her without losing my breath and so I don't have to be ashamed to be the Big Mommy at school functions.

Perhaps it's all a mental game I play with myself..perhaps it's vanity, but this is what I want for me and my child and my fiance. I want to be healthy for me...for us. I need it for my mental health and happiness.

Now, if you stayed with me this long, my stats

I am a female, aged 34 years old - My name is Mindy
Starting weight: 225
Todays weight: 218.6
1st Goal: 199
2nd Goal: 175
Final Goal: 160-150s

I have been logging my food daily and my exercises and I also have a personal blog I use. Please feel free to check it out :)

http://itstheweightofthematter.blogspot.com/

Replies

  • wilddasey
    wilddasey Posts: 1
    :flowerforyou: Mindy, I just logged in this evening and have started MFP. You blog is the first I read and left me with watering eyes. I can SO relate to all you said. The differences being, i'm now a single mother of 3 boys. While my boys are a little older than your daughter, I can still relate. Me and the boys went to MOA for middle sons bday. ( 13) He wanted me to ride the SpongeBob roller coaster with him. Well, I honestly don't know if I was more embarrassed of myself, or for him. The bar would not go over me enough to lock , so the ride couldn't start. The people and kids in line were laughing and pointing at me. I tried not to cry. I asked myself.. how / when did it come to this?? I feel I will never my sole mate, I will never be able to ride with my children again..I honestly don't even know if I can do this. I am scared and think I have lived behind my weight for so long. My oldest is leaving the nest and told me he is worried about me. He said I have sacrificed so much for the 3 of them, that I have just forgot about myself. Wow. How said for your child to say that? My family is 800miles away. I was married for 16years, had 3 boys, and stayed this far away from my family. I work full time but don't get asked to be included in the afterhours things much. Probably because I always have an excuse not to go, when the truth is... I am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
    Didn't meant to get windy... just wanted to say thank you. I would like to keep in touch as I think you will be a great inspiration for me.
    Sonya
    Minnesota
    Current weight 228.lbs
    5'1"
    Day one complete
  • Milynne
    Milynne Posts: 95 Member
    Thanks, Sonya...maybe we can motivate each other! :)

    I still have my ups and downs, but joining my fitness pal and seeing all the success stories and the same questions and concerns I have being answered by other members made me realize...I'm in a good place!

    We can do this!!! :)
  • dawn_lily
    dawn_lily Posts: 2
    HI ladies

    So good to see more people joining MFP.

    My only advice to you is to stick it through!
    Plenty of exercise and healthy eating will see you reach your targets in no time. And if you do end up falling off the diet wagon, dont worry too much! Just start again because We all have them moments of weakness to eat junk food.

    Its just about having the confidence and belief in yourself that you can achieve what you want.

    And one day soon, you will come across a woman whose in the same position as you.... and you will be her inspiration

    Good luck
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
    Mindy and Sonya - thanks for Both sharing.

    Being "Done" with feeling the way you currently feel is a BIG step. Remember that feeling. Write it down if you have to, because there will be hard days that you will feel like its not Worth It..... then read what you just said and remember your why.

    Yes, its about looking good. But you want to Feel good. You want to be Healthy to be around for those kids of yours!!!!

    I have a 6 and 4 year old and that is a Big part of my reasons for this (and some vanity -- no lying about that!) Seeing my cholestoral numbers change was a big deal for me, but I still have more to go.

    Feel free to friend me. I'd love to help in any way.

    Nancy
  • charlottemilton
    charlottemilton Posts: 144 Member
    Milynn, you are welcome to add me as a friend. I know how easy it is to gain weight after a pregnancy. I can identify with all your reasons for wanting to lose weight and even add some more of my own. I try to log on a few times a day to get my food logged and see if I have any messages. I am older than you and have some additional labels other than being obese in my medical record and have good days and bad days. I just started a week ago and am happy with my progress so far but know it is mostly water weight. I have absolutely no stamina so I know what it feels like to huff and puff even when doing little things. You have taken a stand and written down a goal. Last night at scout meeting the leaders were talking about how important it is to write down your goal. Most people won't write one down because they may not make it but then they don't have to try so never make it. Congratulations on taking your first steps.

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