NOT DOING GOOD AT ALL.

If you keep thinking that way, and telling yourself that you'll never change, then you never will!

But, you CAN do this. You CAN be healthy. You CAN lose the weight. This isn't a journey anyone else can do for you. Any bumps in the road you may encounter as well as any highs can only be attributed to one person. YOU.

It all boils down to: How badly do you want this?

It's never going to be easy, and life is never going to stop throwing curve-balls. Unfortunately, you just seem to get more than most. Even through all of this though, there's one person you aren't focusing enough love and attention on, and that is yourself.

Your heart is in teh right place - and a mother's work is never done!

I think you should work on your sleepng habits. If you're not getting a good night's rest then that will affect your weight loss (and your mood the next day).

Can you try a milky drink before bedtime? A soothing bath? Lavender oil? Just writing down your problems on a piece of paper so that they're out of your head for a while?

I have a good handle on my diet most of the time, but when I'm bored or stressed my initial reaction is to head to the kitchen to see what's there to snack on. It helps if you limit the goodies to things you are actually supposed to eat.

The biggest change I've made is that I go to bed much earlier. I used to watch TV and ramble around the house until midnight and for me that becomes a food fest. Now I head to bed at 9:00 whether I'm tired or not and read until fatigue sets in. As a result I get more sleep and I prevent my later in the night food binges. Give it a try.

Attitude is important. If you think you can't, you can't.

This is very tough.. Can you channel your eating into some other way to relieve your stress.. just walking up and down
stairs will burn a ton of calories. Do not bring snacks in the house. for now.

A soothing bath? Lavender oil?

Yes!!

It sounds like you are stressed. You need to take care of that, or it will sabotage your weight loss efforts (cortisol). Maybe take some time for yourself periodically to try to get centered and relax. Read a book, take a bath, meditation, sit outside and watch birds...whatever works for you. Exercise can be very relaxing as well. Take your grandson to the park and push a stroller or walk with him.

On the food side, make sure you're getting enough protein/fat, because if you aren't it will make you hungrier. I don't personally do well with snacking. That's a personal thing, but if you feel it's derailing your efforts, you might want to try having 2 or 3 square meals a day for a week or two and see if that helps. Snacks in general tend to be high carb/high sugar, with little protein, and again that can just make you kind of hungry. So maybe some little tweaks will be helpful. I also find that sugary drinks are terrible for me and had great success when I cut them out.

Good luck. It really can be done.

Raising kids (even when they are adults) is hard and emotional and never ending. Show your kids that you have taken control of your life, by becoming a healthier you, and hope that they follow your lead......eventually. And remember that YOU are just as important as the rest of the people you are caring for and about. Good luck, keep going, don't sweat the mistakes, move forward, You got this!

I felt this way recently and I think it was a blessing. Out of sheer frustration I've shaken things up and tried different things, met with a nutritionist, and am sticking to this new plan so far just because I AM SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED OF TRYING SO HARD AND SEEING NO RESULTS. A couple weeks ago, I could have written this post. For now, I decide the day before exactly what I am going to eat and at what times. It's very rigid, but the problem is I can't trust myself to make decisions when I am hungry or emotionally compromised yet so this is where it has to start before I can make those decisions under stress. Would something like that work for you? Somehow saying, "In half an hour I can have some nuts" is better than "I shouldn't eat anything right now" mentally for me. I can wait half an hour but the second sounds like I have to wait indefinitely.

Of course, making good decisions on the fly will hopefully come for us. I couldn't be on this rigid scheduling forever. And I don't think I could do it at all of I hadn't felt the despair and frustration you are feeling and then being like "ok, what do I HAVE to do to change this."

The Success Stories thread is full of people who have thought at some point in their lives "I am never going to be skinny" but are. Go poke around there until you find a story that speaks to you and remind yourself of it when you think it can't be done. IT CAN BE DONE. People are doing it. YOU are doing it. These emotional speed bumps are part of that process. If they weren't, this forum topic would not exist

First of all, it sounds like you really have a LOT on your plate right now. You are handling a lot of stress which wreaks havoc on your body both physically and mentally. So I think its perfectly normal to feel a little overwhelmed and when you get overwhelmed, you start to get a little negative, and then you start second guessing yourself and your confidence goes down the drain. It sounds to me like the stress is really bringing you down, so you'll need to figure a way to deal with it that isnt negative towards you. I have had panic attacks in the past due to poor stress management and I have beaten them without meds just by adjusting my perspective on things in life.

The first thing you need to do is stop believing that you are a failure. If you believe that, then you will become that. If you believe you are successful and capable of doing anything you put your mind to, like losing weight and getting in shape, then it will happen. You have to first believe in yourself before anything else. The results are what comes AFTER you believe that you can do it and make a plan to do it. Looking for results to make you feel successful is a bad way to go because everyone at some point fails. But if you dont mind that you fail occasionally and get back up and keep going, then it wont really matter because nothing is taking you away from that main goal in your mind to get in shape and take care of yourself, regardless of all the stress and other things going on in your life right now.

I think you can do it, and I think you know you can as well, you are just letting the stress get you down. There are many people with much less stress than you, while there are many others with much more stress than you too. The bottom line is, if you don't believe in yourself, who else will? You can do it, I think the first step is changing your perspective and realizing that you can do it. Look at all the success stories on here and the before/after pics, those people all had problems too and they overcame them, so I'm sure you can as well!

I have been dieting and eating right , yes I slip , for so long now I am starting to realize im NEVER
gona change and be skinny ,

Ok...so I was on my walk and this thought came to me. Why are you using the word skinny?

Perhaps it is just me but

Skinny (to me) implies that that there is something wrong with me now and if I could just lose weight I would be ok. It means that I am focused on the end number and every day that I am not closer to that number is another reason to feel bad about myself.

Healthy (to me) implies that I want to take care of myself and get my body in the best shape it can be. it does not rely on a "number", but instead it looks at how I feel, where I am improving, where I could improve.

If my definition of skinny resonates with you..then remember that you are on a journey towards health.

If you keep thinking that way, and telling yourself that you'll never change, then you never will!

But, you CAN do this. You CAN be healthy. You CAN lose the weight. This isn't a journey anyone else can do for you. Any bumps in the road you may encounter as well as any highs can only be attributed to one person. YOU.

It all boils down to: How badly do you want this?

It's never going to be easy, and life is never going to stop throwing curve-balls. Unfortunately, you just seem to get more than most. Even through all of this though, there's one person you aren't focusing enough love and attention on, and that is yourself.

^^^ This!

I'm very sorry to hear about the things that you have to worry about. However it seems that you put so much worry into everything else but yourself. It's understandable to worry about your kids and grand kids, but you have to remember that you matter as well. You are just as important to them as they are to you. Take a moment when you feel stressed and remind yourself that you can change the way you feel. Positivity can go a long way.

Sounds corny but you can be and do whatever you want, it really just takes changing the way you think to achieve it. And if you "slip", hey there's more than 1 meal a day and more than 1 day a week. Just get passed it and start again.

Also, from experience, I've learned to not think about "diets", but to think of it as a lifestyle change. For me it helped knowing I'm doing this for the long term, not a crash diet or quick fix.

Hang in there, It seems like you are a pretty strong woman and I am sure you can accomplish your fitness goals as well!
Postivity can change the world!


Peace

I don't mean to be rude, although this may sound rude, so please know it's coming from a good place.

You are making excuses for your snacking and your choices. Everyone has 'baggage' and it does sound like you have your fair share of worries (I do hope things start to come together soon in that regard) but it's about changing those bad habits and replacing them with good habits. Take control of the situation and make the decision that you are doing this and not giving in this time. I have been that person who excuses my choices, so I do understand but only you can change your actions and to do that you need to take responsibility for your food choices and exercise.

Also 'skinny' is not really a healthy aim to have - make healthy food choices and put in some exercise and the fat WILL go (assuming you have no dietary problems etc etc that you didn't refer to in your OP). I will never be 'skinny' I'm just not that girl, I have a bum and boobs and they're here to stay, but I can have a low BF% (eventually...).

Like others have said, having a good bedroom routine will help. I used to be a nightmare, up til late and then up early and always exhausted. I found a routine that worked for me and have never looked back.

Essentially - we can all offer our advice and our tips but you and only you can make the change.

This is very well said. This type of straight-forward, no nonsense reply is the best of what these forums have to offer. I, too, know what it is like to use excuses for not succeeding and stress eating. I am in the "not giving up" mentality and when I have a weak moment, I am going to go back and read the response above. Thank you for a great response.