How do I balance it all?

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  • delisep
    delisep Posts: 7 Member
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    It's hard and some of us are wired in such a way that we feel guilty for doing something that is solely for our benefit. I was one of those for years and it ended when I realized that I had to take care of myself. It is great and honorable to be the goto person for everyone, it is no less honorable to keep yourself strong and healthy mentally and physically. Take time for yourself, stop doing everything for everyone, delegate. I have been married for 19 years and I was a stay at home mom when my children were young. I did everything in and around the house. My husband went to work and I even served his dinner to him in the recliner. When I went to work full time and the kids were older, I said 'y'all are going to have to help out around here. They didn't. When I changed jobs and started changing my lifestyle, I reminded them I needed help. Then I just simply stopped doing everything. I did what I had time to do when I wanted to do it and left the rest undone. Hubby jumped in and does most of the laundry and some of the cooking, the kids have chores, as well as both being involved in afterschool activities and part time jobs. It is preparing them for the real world. All of this to say, value yourself, take what you need.
  • janupshaw
    janupshaw Posts: 205 Member
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    I agree with 'delisep', tell hubby you need his help, or simply stop doing everything. When he needs laundry washed, I guess he'll figure it out! 30 minutes of exercise should be enough to start with. If you still want to go to the gym (vs home dvd's), could you go early in the morning & then you are showered for the day (are you showering twice a day now?) It will come, just focus on one thing at a time...healthier eating would be my first priority.
  • katdow87
    katdow87 Posts: 4 Member
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    He works full time and manages the the buses at our church, mows the lawn when it needs it. other then that.... chair, food, and netflicx... frustrating. btw im her daughter.
  • brraanndi
    brraanndi Posts: 325 Member
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    It can be a bit overwhelming if you start piling on everything. Simplify it and look at the smaller picture.

    Sometimes I exercise in 5 minute chunks, 10 minute chunks, 20 minute chunks, whatever I can fit in. If all you can give is 5 minutes then that is still better than nothing. I don't drive to any gym since I'm really only doing cardio I just moved everything out of the living room and I hula hoop, dance to bad pop music, do walking and marching. If driving to gym is too much use your yard and just time it by music or whatnot?

    Also just keep in mind, tracking food is only a few minutes a day, you can even pre-plan and pretrack and get it down whatever amount of time suits you. You can even get a scale, weigh everything, cook it up and freeze and serve out your dinner daily.

    If you have money to spend, I'd recommend something like pedometer or fitbit as a motivational tool to add steps into your day. You can also get an idea from them how much walking you do. There are also free apps for smart phones that do this.

    But yeah, I kind of ignore the larger picture and focus on meeting my basic daily requirements and it seems to be working out so it's worth a try?
  • dizzow
    dizzow Posts: 65
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    I didn't even think about the gym at school! I can check it out, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be the young set and therefore intimidating.. but, I can sure check it out. Thanks for the idea.
  • dizzow
    dizzow Posts: 65
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    Oh gosh no... I don't work out the entire two hours!! That's just how much time it eats up with drive, workout, shower and drive home. Thanks for the support though.
  • dizzow
    dizzow Posts: 65
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    "He works full time and manages the the buses at our church, mows the lawn when it needs it. other then that.... chair, food, and netflix... frustrating."--- What my dd said.
  • dizzow
    dizzow Posts: 65
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    Thank you, everyone, for your input. I gleaned some very helpful ideas from you all. I appreciate the support.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    You may have to let go of something.

    When you are on an aeroplane and the hostess comes up and does the emergency procedure drill, she always says this:

    If an oxygen mask drops from the ceiling, put your own mask on FIRST, before the masks of any children.



    Identify how much of your life is given to you, and how much is given to others. Your first duty is to look after you. If you cannot do that properly, how can you possibly do it for others properly?

    Sometimes to be selfish is the best way to give.
  • newmelady
    newmelady Posts: 132 Member
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    You may have to let go of something.

    When you are on an aeroplane and the hostess comes up and does the emergency procedure drill, she always says this:

    If an oxygen mask drops from the ceiling, put your own mask on FIRST, before the masks of any children.



    Identify how much of your life is given to you, and how much is given to others. Your first duty is to look after you. If you cannot do that properly, how can you possibly do it for others properly?

    Sometimes to be selfish is the best way to give.

    This is exactly what I wanted to say.:smile:
    You have to prioritize your health.:flowerforyou:
  • TigerBite
    TigerBite Posts: 611 Member
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    Cleaning is AWESOME exercise (and low impact, which is what you need to start with) ... Put on some good music and make a workout of it ... :)

    Maybe church once a week ... After all, God is everywhere. And hey, he'd want you to be healthy, right?
  • delisep
    delisep Posts: 7 Member
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    You may have to let go of something.

    When you are on an aeroplane and the hostess comes up and does the emergency procedure drill, she always says this:

    If an oxygen mask drops from the ceiling, put your own mask on FIRST, before the masks of any children.



    Identify how much of your life is given to you, and how much is given to others. Your first duty is to look after you. If you cannot do that properly, how can you possibly do it for others properly?

    Sometimes to be selfish is the best way to give.


    Awesome advice! I agree wholly.
  • kayemmgee5
    kayemmgee5 Posts: 86 Member
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    I didn't even think about the gym at school! I can check it out, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be the young set and therefore intimidating.. but, I can sure check it out. Thanks for the idea.

    I am not a student, but work at a university, I see people of ALL ages and ALL fitness levels at my gym! They sell family memberships, so anyone is welcome! I understand your feeling intimidated but really, you should feel empowered to be there just as much as anyone. Pop in some headphones and your favorite jam and get to work!! :D
  • Mongognom
    Mongognom Posts: 123
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    Like others have written: Baby steps. Don't panic if you can't do all at once. I started shopping for grceries once a week. This means I spend an hour a week planning my shopping and diet plan for the entire week and then I just follow it. I don't spend more then 30 min a day cooking (a crocpot might be a good idea gor making healthy meals for the entire family without it taking up so much time).
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