I need some friends who understand...

tifelayne
tifelayne Posts: 15
in Introduce Yourself
Hi there! I am a 33 year old mom of two, 5'7" tall, 199 pounds, obese BMI. I have been struggling with my weight for almost my entire life, and I really need some support from people who understand. I have skinny friends, a skinny husband, skinny kids, and a skinny family. I know there must be others out there who feel the way that I do!

This has been a really hard time for me. I've tried every diet, and I've decided to loosely follow SlimFast because I like their shakes the most. I also read that starting a blog can keep you on track. So, for the first time, I've begun writing about my weight and (hopefully) weight loss. Any support I could get on my blog would be great, and I'm sure it would help to keep me going forward to know that there are people out there rooting for me! (My blog address is: slimfastmommy.wordpress.com)

If anyone has any advice that might help, I would love to hear it. I could use all the help I can get! And if anyone out there needs a friend who understands, I'd be glad to be that person for you. :smile:
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Replies

  • tifelayne
    tifelayne Posts: 15
    Woohoo! Just realized I can blog right on this site!
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Welcome. I would ditch the SlimFast and just eat regular food.

    Eat at a reasonable caloric deficit and move more. It's really that simple, just not always easy.
  • hopeinmn
    hopeinmn Posts: 35 Member
    Welcome to MFP! I'm pretty new here too. Feel free to add me.
  • tifelayne
    tifelayne Posts: 15
    I know you're right. SlimFast isn't the healthiest thing in the world. I'm just using it to get started, and then I want to switch to something healthier
  • Jannah1208
    Jannah1208 Posts: 37
    Yes, my hubby can eat the whole house and not gain an ounce! Very frustrating when trying losing weight and eat healthy. He is skinny and needs to gain a few pounds but he eats like crap. AKA Skinny Fat.....lol . I am now doing a lower carb diet now, as per my DR. I am type 2 diabetic. Aiming to keep carbs under 100g. You can do this! My heaviest weight was 232, I am at 160 now and in between there had a baby. Dr. wants me at 145-148, at the most. A blog is helpful and pre-planning meals has been my lifesaver! Feel free to add me. I am on a group too called 9 weeks to skinny, great group of ppl! We share recipes and motivational tips. Come check us out :)
  • Pulka_Dot
    Pulka_Dot Posts: 87 Member
    Welcome! I am the same height and about the same weight as you, and I, too, have a skinny husband. :grumble: The damn guy weighs 128 lbs. lol.
  • samedame
    samedame Posts: 36
    Hi slimfast! Lol I totally feel your pain. I am white and married to an Asian. He and his entire family are incredibly skinny and cannot seem to gain weight even as they shovel piles of white rice, greasy noodles, meat with fat, and whatever else they want to eat. They don't exercise, either. Well....yeah. My kids are also skinny. Hey, good for them.
    One problem, aside from being thought of as HUGE by my Asian family members, is that I am the "mom" that must prepare huge piles of food for them and then NOT eat it and STILL be judged for being huge. WTF, right? I have never been a big eater, I don't actually eat out, and have been a healthy eater. But if I eat like over 1600 per day, I will gain weight. Maintenance for me to be at around 170 is about 1400-1600, which most people consider to be their "dieting" food intake. And I am still overweight at 170. I am 5'9" and right now I am down from the 190s into almost 180, but I eat fewer than 1000 a day. Luckily, my ballet dancer daughter is helping and supporting me now, UNLIKE the rest of my family.

    I like slimfast shakes, and adkins bars for the bfast and lunch hours, it makes life easy. Then for dinner, big bowls of soup such as pumpkin soup, roasted cauliflower soup, and black bean soup are low calorie and yet filling.
  • bkyoun
    bkyoun Posts: 371 Member
    Feel free to add me. I am currently at 295 pounds and I have a skinny wife (130) and kids. I have struggled my whole life too.

    You are in the right place.

    Stay within your calorie goal and you will lose weight. You can do it!
  • BEECEEGEE
    BEECEEGEE Posts: 1
    My employer started a 12 week wellness program that includes nutrition, exercise, support and much more and I am down 11 lbs as of today (3 weeks) and feel so much better already - My Fitness Pal as been a huge eye-opener to me regarding how much sodium, sugar, etc is in food - I am able to plan my meals ahead of time and know what I can have and shouldn't have because it's going to show on my food diary (and boy are they looking at it!) - It's been really good though - I've kicked the high calorie sodas and substituted water in its place and it makes me feel so much better - less hungry, more energy - because when the caffeine and sugar burns out, your energy takes a dip.

    I've tried every diet, every program and I've had temporary success with some but the best thing about what I'm doing now is I'm eating regular food and understanding what I'm putting into my body and how my body responds to the "food fuel" I'm putting in it.

    Consider just eating regular food, not prepared or fast foods and you will see that it is a lifestyle adjustment that you can live with the rest of your life, while you are losing weight and getting fit. Good luck to you all.
  • tifelayne
    tifelayne Posts: 15
    I'm so glad there are others out there that understand!

    It sucks to weigh more than your husband. I cringe every time I see movies where the husband picks the wife up and swings her around or carries her over the threshold. That just isn't possible for me. I wish it was, and I hope to get there one day. Right now I weigh about 40 pounds more than my husband.
  • happylife2014
    happylife2014 Posts: 128 Member
    I feel you on this one!! I have about 40 pounds to lose to reach my goal.. your not alone in anything you posted.. I'm there, as are many others! we're here to motivate and help one another.. Look forward to seeing your progress!! :)
    I'm so glad there are others out there that understand!

    It sucks to weigh more than your husband. I cringe every time I see movies where the husband picks the wife up and swings her around or carries her over the threshold. That just isn't possible for me. I wish it was, and I hope to get there one day. Right now I weigh about 40 pounds more than my husband.
  • jillebeans
    jillebeans Posts: 7
    Hey Tif,
    My name is Jill and I too have struggled all my life with my weight. I am up and down. I weigh 185 and I am only 5'3". I get on here and I get really excited and then I do one day here and I'm off to do whatever and then don't get back on for a month. I just need to stay motivated too. I am like you, my husband is skinny so he never worries about what he eats and when he wants pizza guess what...I eat it too. I love pizza and food in general. I am older than you. I am 50, soon to be 51. I am also a smoker who fights with that addiction as well. I have been smoke free now for three weeks but everyday is a struggle with that as well. I had a heart attack five years ago and the Dr. said that it was from lack of exercise and smoking. I put the smokes down for the first year and started daily exercise. Well at least 4 days a week. My husband is a smoker as well and quit with me at first. Then we both started again and I have been back and forth with it for the last four years. One day at a time is what I keep telling myself and I think it is the same with food. We have to look at things from a different perspective and try to do the best when we can and make better choices I guess. I have been working out like a fool for the last three weeks trying to keep myself busy at night. I'm not losing any weight but I'm not gaining either. With the not smoking you tend to subsitute food the the smokes which I know I have done so I am fighting a double edged sword. I could use the support as well. Good luck to you and your journey and try and stay positive. Jill
  • Shivpea
    Shivpea Posts: 58 Member
    Welcome. I would ditch the SlimFast and just eat regular food.

    Eat at a reasonable caloric deficit and move more. It's really that simple, just not always easy.

    This! I think if you use Slimfast even to start with you'll end up giving up. I think slimfast is a fad! If you eat proper food you might not feel so deprived and will more than likely feel much more satisfiedl. If you want to eat more I'd go for a walk to get some more cals. Try to think of this as a lifestyle not a diet :-)

    Good luck and feel free to add me as a friend - I'm on every day!

    Siobhan
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    Slimfast really isn't a long term solution, just try tracking real food and staying below your cals.
  • iheartbiology
    iheartbiology Posts: 104 Member
    I too married a super skinny guy. He is constantly worried about losing weight if he doesn't get enough calories each day, and to add insult to injury, when he overeats, he simply poops more!
    Still, I love every inch of that 6'2", 155 lb man...
    Have I mentioned that my current goal weight is to simply weigh less than him?
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
    Welcome. I would ditch the SlimFast and just eat regular food.

    Eat at a reasonable caloric deficit and move more. It's really that simple, just not always easy.

    This! I think if you use Slimfast even to start with you'll end up giving up. I think slimfast is a fad! If you eat proper food you might not feel so deprived and will more than likely feel much more satisfiedl. If you want to eat more I'd go for a walk to get some more cals. Try to think of this as a lifestyle not a diet :-)

    Good luck and feel free to add me as a friend - I'm on every day!

    Siobhan

    I agree with them both! I keep a few Special K protein shakes in the fridge in case I can't prepare my breakfast, but I always make sure to have a healthy snack about 2 hours after. I have found that "grazing" (more like snacking all day instead of meals) Helps me mix it up, stay satisfied, and curb cravings. I don't graze everyday, but usually a couple days a week I will just pack small 200 to 300 calorie snack meals and eat about every 3 hours. Helps with my blood sugars too. Best of luck! I sent you an add!
  • mainscott
    mainscott Posts: 36 Member
    52 male, obese, happily married. My second journey here on fitness pal. I lost 42 pounds here and got into my bad habits again. IE. cocktails, beer, fried chicken, chips, sausage etc. I started back yesterday. I weigh 250 and my goal is 230 first. My doctor wants me to lose 15lbs before I see him Dec 7th. My blood pressure has been around 155 over 85 with meds. If I do not lose the weight he said I would need more meds. So here we go again...Hopefully I will keep it off longer this time and maybe permanently. It is easy for me give in to temptation and eat recklessly and drink to much with friends especially on weekends. I burn a lot of calories at the YMCA and go at least 5 or 6 days a week and burn around a thousand calories on the Cybex Arc Trainer Eliptical machine. That being said if I can keep my Demons at bay I can lose weight. I could use some support also. Scott

    Add me if you would like to and good luck to you.

    Anyone who reads this and would like to add me I could use some support as well and will reciprocate. Scott
  • izzie_loves_2_run
    izzie_loves_2_run Posts: 23
    I am 23, 5"5 . I also have 2 skinny kids and a skinny husband. Some of my family are skinny and some are over weight. I never thought I couldt get to 266lbs until i was 8 months pregnant with my daughter and stood on a scale for the forst time in two years. Before I ever had kids I got on birth control and went from 150 to 180. 180 was the heaviest I had ever been and I got off the birth control and went down to 160 in two month then worked out and got back down to 140lbs. even at 180 my stomach was flat the weight went to my breast and legs but I still looked decent. my wake up call was my husband telling me or pointing out how much I ate, how often i ate and that i woke up at night to eat. I literally ate on over a 126 pounds. I had my kids 13 months apart so the weight was piled on back to back. I was always fit and active in high school and like i said , i never ever thought i could get that huge. I had my little girl April 22, 2013 and when i left out the hospital I was 252. I has only lost 14lbs and 8 of that my little girl. I pushed through the pain after having her and two weeks later I was working out, I wrote down what i ate, I increased my water intake, A LOT!!!. I stopped eating after 7:00pm I ate fruit and boiled eggs in the morning with a glass of water. I went on an hour walk or when i had my babies i did youtube workouts. It sounds cheesy but a workout you are willing to do...is a workout that will work!!!! I drank water when I felt hungry, waited then ate small palm size portions of white meat that was grilled, steamed or raw "green" veggies and a starch. Then I drank another glass of water. I worked out multiples times a day...I did 10 minutes spurts until I built up my endurance to go longer. I will help you. I am currently 170lbs. I had an operation that slowed down my weight loss and i did eat unhealthy during my down time so iv'e been 170 for 3 weeks. But I am back at it and I usually lose 1.5-2.0lbs a week. I just made my page for more support but if you need help or have questions feel free to come to me. We are very close in high and both moter of two, Yes i am younger but again I have the "fat" gene so I know how hard diets that fail can be and the weight loss struggle, my thin husband eats unhealthy . Be strong! log what you eat, try to burn 300-500 calories in excercise 3-4 days a week if you can do more then go for it. Look up the daily calorie intake for your body and then also eat less or lighter. Everyone here will support you and keep going it will be worth it. But I wrote this long essay to say if anyone understands, i understand
  • ProgressNotPerfection32
    ProgressNotPerfection32 Posts: 1,155 Member
    Feel free to add me! I started at 235, and we are the same height. I currently am at 168, looking to get down to around 135/140. I started with Atkins and was very successful for 2 years, losing 60 pounds. Realized I couldn't keep up high fat for life, so slowing increasing net carbs (around 50 NET per day). I didn't exercise the first 2 years........ So my body fat is still high. Recently started running and I'm addicted. I, too, am a mom, wife, and work full time. I'd be happy to have you as a friend to support ☺️ We all need all the support we can get!

    Oh, I would ditch slim fast, protein shakes may be a bit of a better alternative....... For 1 meal. I honestly nevertheless as taught how to eat right. At 32 I'm learning and it's cool. I love to cook and try new things. And it's amazing what my kids will eat when I make it and there's nothing crappy in the house ????
  • cyanise
    cyanise Posts: 2 Member
    I understand what you're going thru. not eating right but making sure my kids & husband do. I have started to use "my fit foods" it takes the counting of calories for me. they have a nutritionist to assist you. they have a 3 day and 21 day challenge, this helped to kick start better eating habits for me. there may be a similar program where you are. I know some areas they can be found in grocery stores. I have switch to organic foods. eating more veggies and fruits. switch out the unhealthy snacks for better choices. I also incorporated the "fitbit" it counts my movement, calories burned, my sleep, I find it has helped me to stay motivated and challenge myself. and it works with the myfitnesspal app as well as other apps. I wish good health.
    cyn
  • izzie_loves_2_run
    izzie_loves_2_run Posts: 23
    I tried this shake called right size smoothie, it works, the only thing i did not like was that they try and sale you extra things. But it gave me energy and it kind of works like a clenser, due to caffine it really flushes you out, and keeps you full. Its less calories and more filling that slim fast, also you can blen it with almond milk or silk milk, ice and a fruit of your choice in the blender, I use to have a cup of that and a boiled egg in the morning before I did my first run, or just because.
  • tifelayne
    tifelayne Posts: 15
    Thank you all for your stories. They are incredibly motivating to me, and I hope one day that my story will help to motivate others. What an amazing resource this website is...I wish I had discovered this sooner!
  • izzie_loves_2_run
    izzie_loves_2_run Posts: 23
    instead of slim fast, try special k. they are better, and i have asian family i know they eat horrible and are paper thin. Also try increasing your water. You may be gaining weight because you dont eat enough...have thought about that? try to eat 6 small meals a day. things thaat will fill you up not high in fat and sodium, like spinach, almonds (unsalted) and fresh fruit. Also you can eat as much raw dark green veggies as you want. i bring raw broccoli to work and grape fruit as a snack in between meals. Stay strong. we weight the same amount. I was just 266 April of this year! you can do it dear!
  • tifelayne
    tifelayne Posts: 15
    instead of slim fast, try special k. they are better, and i have asian family i know they eat horrible and are paper thin. Also try increasing your water. You may be gaining weight because you dont eat enough...have thought about that? try to eat 6 small meals a day. things thaat will fill you up not high in fat and sodium, like spinach, almonds (unsalted) and fresh fruit. Also you can eat as much raw dark green veggies as you want. i bring raw broccoli to work and grape fruit as a snack in between meals. Stay strong. we weight the same amount. I was just 266 April of this year! you can do it dear!

    Thank you! I do have the added health problems of hypothyroidism and PCOS to contend with...that does make losing weight extra hard. I do drink a lot of water, but I don't eat as many healthy foods as I should. I haven't looked into the Special K shakes yet, but I will.
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
    Welcome. I would ditch the SlimFast and just eat regular food.

    Eat at a reasonable caloric deficit and move more. It's really that simple, just not always easy.

    This
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    I'm a 29 year old mom of two and I'm shorter and fatter than you... lol

    I don't do slim-fast but I'm a big fan of protein smoothies, etc. Like the others are saying though, you can eat food-food too... stick around :wink:
  • seif0068
    seif0068 Posts: 193 Member
    I know you're right. SlimFast isn't the healthiest thing in the world. I'm just using it to get started, and then I want to switch to something healthier

    I'd caution against this approach...it's the foundation for yo-yo weight. Instead of doing something temporarily and then switching, maybe the approach I used would work for you.

    I focused on making one small change at a time over the course of many months. I had steady results with this approach and have now been in maintenance for several months. This approach ensures that the changes become a part of your lifestyle - they say it takes 3 weeks for something to become habit so that's what I used for my timeline.

    First 3 weeks: log everything. No other changes - just wanted to get an idea of what I was eating.
    Then, I started measuring, focusing on smaller portion sizes.
    Then, I would swap one thing - so instead of cookies as a snack at work, Greek yogurt
    Then, I'd swap another thing - having an apple with pb as a nighttime snack instead of ice cream.

    Other little changes were things like adding veggies to meals that I didn't normally put veggies in, and continuing my efforts with portion control, and eventually working out (though that wasn't until I had lost at least half the weight).

    This has been a very sustainable process for me...hope you find success!
  • lynnfredrickson
    lynnfredrickson Posts: 14
    Hi there !! My name is Lynn and I am trying to lose 20lbs and have always sruggled with my weight I'm 5'3 and currenty weigh 189. I have lost three pounds in 7 days following the 1200 calorie a day diet and walking 60 minutes a day, I am very lucky becuase I live in beautiful Colorado right in the middle of the mountains ,, so I have great hiking trails for great work outs , but my motovation to lose weight this time is my mom, she has had kidney failure and I want to donate my kidney ,, but I need to lose and matain 170lbs before the surgery . I hope to get a group of friends that support weight loss and are going through the same struggles I am. Hope to hear from you. Have a Great day.
    Lynn
  • Zelinna
    Zelinna Posts: 207 Member
    I totally understand. I am the same height as you and started logging at around 210 lbs. My "normal" before joining this site was in the range of 180-190 so I have always been the fat friend/ family member.

    I started out eating the low cal snacks (special K bars etc) and found they were not satisfying. Once I started filling up on vegetables things got alot easier and I can manage my calories very well now.

    Feel free to add me, I am on daily and always willing to help.
  • elainecroft
    elainecroft Posts: 595 Member
    i'm in a similar boat of always being the 'biggest' at about the same size - feel free to add me as a friend!

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