Feeling pretty helpless

He was only with this most recent place a few weeks, not long enough for unemployment.

It's hard to not let it consume you when it's everywhere. I am just silent most of the time because I'm afraid something I say will remind him and then he'll be sad again

Grab a hold of his balls, pull them up, wipe his tears away with them and tell him to man up.

What insightful advice. You should use that to help people with PTSD too.

PTSD is COMPLETELY different issue...but go on....

uhm yes she shouldnt carry him but if the guy is sick how can you expect him to work? First he need to get well and know that his capable of working that/any job.

Health first i say, then comes jobs and the like.

Really? So let's just forget about bills and responsibilities because you are in a funk? No do both.

Oh yea that's what i said

Whilst its ideal to do both, sometimes and i know this from experience, if your mentally unwell you are not in the capacity to do anything properly. You have to go through it to know... Yea some people get better by doing things but some people dont.

sorry Kaf it is only and most importantly about your fiance, but i feel strongly coz ive been struggling for a decade with it... i mean well to you

You want advice? Okay.

Don't marry a guy (I'll stop short of calling him a man) who can only hold down a job for a few weeks and thinks the solution, when fired, is to mope around and put all of the financial burden on his fiancee's shoulders for an indefinite amount of time. When you feel like you can't even bring it up because he might slip further into a depression, THERE IS A PROBLEM! And it's not that he's sad, it's that he's acting like a toddler, and you're enabling him.

Marry a GROWN man with a solid work ethic, a favorable employment history, and too much testicular capacity to sit on his *kitten* and let his woman pay his bills for him.

You're welcome.

wow...i finally have witnessed a thread where people really ARE mean.

Sitting around and moping about it isn't going to pay the bills.

this^^^^^^
so... is he diagnosed with depression and on medication and/or have a history of depression or is this one ofthose instance where you lost a job and want to pout becasue something didnt go his way???? :huh:

wow...i finally have witnessed a thread where people really ARE mean.

QFT!!!!!!

Shame on some of you!!!

He was only with this most recent place a few weeks, not long enough for unemployment.

It's hard to not let it consume you when it's everywhere. I am just silent most of the time because I'm afraid something I say will remind him and then he'll be sad again

Grab a hold of his balls, pull them up, wipe his tears away with them and tell him to man up.

What insightful advice. You should use that to help people with PTSD too.

PTSD is COMPLETELY different issue...but go on....

Depression is a symptom of PTSD... but go on.

Same as telling someone that suffers with PTSD.... GET OVER IT!

Some of these responses are very cruel. Wow. :noway:


Has anyone responding with such coldness, ever know or heard of someone who has commited suicide because of depression. How can you tell someone to Suck it Up. Would you do that to your son or daughter... Just wow. :frown:

Theres a difference in PTSD and depression over losing a job. But what do I know? please carry on...I would never tell a soldier or someone suffering from PTSD to get over it. It's a totally different TYPE of depression.....Carry on spicy though ...carry on...

He was only with this most recent place a few weeks, not long enough for unemployment.

It's hard to not let it consume you when it's everywhere. I am just silent most of the time because I'm afraid something I say will remind him and then he'll be sad again

Grab a hold of his balls, pull them up, wipe his tears away with them and tell him to man up.

What insightful advice. You should use that to help people with PTSD too.

PTSD is COMPLETELY different issue...but go on....

Depression is a symptom of PTSD... but go on.

Same as telling someone that suffers with PTSD.... GET OVER IT!

Some of these responses are very cruel. Wow. :noway:


Has anyone responding with such coldness, ever know or heard of someone who has commited suicide because of depression. How can you tell someone to Suck it Up. Would you do that to your son or daughter... Just wow. :frown:

Theres a difference in PTSD and depression over losing a job. But what do I know? please carry on...I would never tell a soldier or someone suffering from PTSD to get over it. It's a totally different TYPE of depression.....Carry on spicy though ...carry on...

I will carry on...

I'm in love with a VETERAN who has PTSD.... so now what? Do you suffer from PTSD? Where did she state he's only depressed because of a job and doesn't suffer with DEPRESSION.

I understand what a lot of ppl on here are saying about how he needs to "man up" and so on and so on. Yes bills need to be paid and all that but depression is a serious issue. If he's just pissed off and cranky then that's one thing but if he looks genuinely sad all the time then he should go see a doctor, get diagnosed and then he can get a doctors note and get welfare. And a lot of ppl are gonna say you're abusing the system but unless you have been through depression and know what it's like....truly know what it's like, then no one is in a position to judge. Depression can take over your whole mind and body. If it's really bad it can feel like a black hole that just swallows you in and it makes you hate yourself and everything around you. Some say it's bull**** and that if ppl just got off their *kitten* and did what they have to and exercise and stuff then they'll get better. But real depression is not just an excuse ppl use to avoid their responsibilities, and saying that is offensive to all those who suffer from it and take their own lives because of it. Depression has a way of controlling you and sometimes you need professional help. I would get him to the doctor and then go from there. He needs to know that he has someone who loves him and that there's hope for him to get better. Best of luck to you both.

@howdoyoufeel

:flowerforyou:

wow...i finally have witnessed a thread where people really ARE mean.

I suspect that some of them think they are being helpful, but they seem to believe that 'depression' is when someone becomes sad because they chose to give up.

OP, depression is a *****. it really is. however, a lot of people are depressed and still force themselves to go about their business in order to meet their responsibilities, both financially and to the people they love. I am really sorry you feel you need to walk on eggshells around your partner when you have been working so hard to support the both of you.

listen... I honestly was JUST in this situation, and I felt stuck because I thought I would be a horrible person for leaving while my partner was so depressed. unfortunately I finally came to terms with the fact that his behavior was not ok, regardless of his depression or emotional issues. not to mention, I am someone who struggles with bipolar and I still work my *kitten* off to support myself because I have NO ONE else to do it for me. I am not saying you should leave him or nor am I even encouraging that, but do not feel guilty if you need him to be more supportive. again, he still has a responsibility to you and to himself to pull himself through his day to day. sitting around and letting his depression consume him is destructive and it is not going to change anything. if he can't work, he needs to seek treatment so he is able to work. I'll say it again... he has NO right to lash out at you regardless of how he is feeling.

good luck OP, it's an awful thing to go through and I really feel for you. hopefully you guys can work something out soon.

eta: god my grammar is atrocious. I need more coffee.

So what do you do when your S/O is depressed, you are struggling financially because they won't go out and look for a job as a result of the depression, and there is no money to get them therapy?

So what do you do when your S/O is hit by a car, you are struggling financially because they can't go out and look for a job as a result of being paralyzed, and there is no money to get them therapy?

You're mistake is using the word "won't." You can't wish away a mental health condition by saying "jeepers the results of it are tough." To think that he chooses not to go out and look for a job - - that he wouldn't obviously be much happier having a job - is to again underscore your ignorance of what depression truly is.

Way to avoid the question.

You can get as snarky as you want, but do you have an actual solution for the OP?

OP, depression is a *****. it really is. however, a lot of people are depressed and still force themselves to go about their business in order to meet their responsibilities, both financially and to the people they love. I am really sorry you feel you need to walk on eggshells around your partner when you have been working so hard to support the both of you.

Exactly. I have been through depression and still managed to work. Why? Because it was a choice between work or be homeless.