compliments?

ThineOwnselfBTrue
ThineOwnselfBTrue Posts: 49 Member
in Chit-Chat
I was complimented today at work...the receptionist said, "those are nice jeans." I told her I hadn't been able to wear them in awhile - and I haven't. I went to my desk and came back a few minutes later, she said, "you are getting so tiny!" I replied, "Tiny is not the word I would use, but thanks." Why is it so hard to accept compliments? I see the scale showing different numbers, I see the measuring tape showing different measurements, but I don't feel different about myself...I don't feel prettier, I don't feel skinnier, I don't feel sexier...maybe because I am not where I want to be? Because I am not happy it's taking SOOO long...anyone else find it hard to accept compliments when people recognize your loss?

Replies

  • Via_14
    Via_14 Posts: 992 Member
    always had this prob, really negative personl. Take a positive and make it a negative. CHanging slowly now =) Gets easier with time!
  • kborton1122
    kborton1122 Posts: 914 Member
    I can relate. I had the "fat girl" mentality for a long time. Still do a little bit. As you get closer to your goals and you are feeling physically better, your brain will catch up. Just give it time. Learn to just say thank you. :-)
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    Say thank you! Think of it this way - it makes the other person feel good to do something nice, and it makes you feel good to receive it and be acknowledged for your hard work! Don't rob them of feeling good. :smile:

    congrats on getting into those jeans!
  • lucystacy71
    lucystacy71 Posts: 290 Member
    I understand what you mean. I had an aunt tell me that I looked great and that she could tell I've lost a bunch of weight recently. I said, "Thanks, but I still have a long way to go?" Why couldn't I have just stopped at 'thanks?'

    I've always had a problem with compliments. I always think the person is trying to be nice but doesn't actually mean what they say. What I've been doing is just trying to say thank you and leave it at that - and doing my best not to question.
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    I agree on just saying thank you :smile: And congrats for fitting those jeans :smile:
  • JamieM8168
    JamieM8168 Posts: 248 Member
    I'm the same way. I feel like I actually get offended sometimes too when people give me compliments bc im just not used to it I guess and I don't 'get it'
  • dawningr
    dawningr Posts: 387 Member
    it's getting much easier for me to just say 'Thank You' - but I have to mentally 'kick' myself into it each time.
  • Annie83uk
    Annie83uk Posts: 128
    i do the same, thing is i get the same people complimenting me and it feels awkward when they keep saying the same thing, i always say thanks and then say still go more to lose. i get people saying that i'm gonna dissapear and that will never happen, then i get then one person who says you're getting so tiny stop losing weight. most the time i just smile and say thanks. occasionally i look in the mirror and can't believe how much better i look, and other times i can't tell the difference. i think we are all very modest and used to being put down all our lives it's hard to accept compliments, also there is the fear of acting cocky or over confident. well done on the jeans and keep up the good work :happy:
  • Annie83uk
    Annie83uk Posts: 128
    sorry about the typos lol
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
    Takes a while for your brain to catch up to your body.

    It took me a long time to recognized I put on weight... even though I saw the numbers on the scale go up and up.

    It also took me a long time recognized that I lost weight.... even though my size 18 pants were down around my ankles.

    Give it a while.
  • FrauHaas2013
    FrauHaas2013 Posts: 615 Member
    I think we all do this to a certain extent -- we've been so unhappy with ourselves for so long and beat ourselves down with negativity, it's extremely hard to finally start accepting that yes, other people will notice, and yes, they may say something! Now I just try to think of it as they are very, very sweet for mentioning anything - I know in their heart it is their way of motivating me to keep going without stepping over a line and offering any kind of unsolicited advice.

    Like most of you, I smile and say, "Thank you!"
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I have always been like that. It has nothing to do with my weight. It seems I was raised to be humble and self-deprecating.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Saying "thank you" when complimented is a skill every adult should learn. Nobody needs you to showcase your neuroses or self-esteem issues. Just say thank you and move on. It's easier. It has nothing to do with humility, and everything to do with accepting kindness gracefully.
  • 43932452
    43932452 Posts: 7,246 Member
    Saying "thank you" when complimented is a skill every adult should learn. Nobody needs you to showcase your neuroses or self-esteem issues. Just say thank you and move on. It's easier.

    Why thank you, Mr.U. ;)
  • PaulHalicki
    PaulHalicki Posts: 576 Member
    You look at yourself every day, so change from one day to the next is very small. Additionally, you said yourself you're not where you want to be. So if feels like you're spinning your wheels.

    However, the receptionist at work doesn't take active notice of you every day. She's not invested in your journey. And yet she noticed all your hard work. It's a compliment to your dedication that you can stick with it when you can't see the changes. Be grateful that those who do see the positive changes acknowledge them. Even if the changes are so slow you have trouble seeing them, the rest of the world does, and even if it feels awkward to accept the praise, KNOW that it means that your work is worth it!
  • Lauraplane
    Lauraplane Posts: 63 Member
    I can relate. I usually say "Thank you, I still have a long way to go". But sometimes these compliments can get awkward. There is a lady where I work that tells me frequently "you are really looking good" I say "thank you" and she says "really, I can really tell. You are really looking good". She says this on the average of once a week! I smile and say thank you and I do appreciate it but it feels awkward sometimes. I also still feel like "the fat girl" even though I know that I can shop for regular clothes and not plus size. I hope my mind catches up with me. :)
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
    Say thank you! Think of it this way - it makes the other person feel good to do something nice, and it makes you feel good to receive it and be acknowledged for your hard work! Don't rob them of feeling good. :smile:

    congrats on getting into those jeans!

    Words to live by! Thank you for this post!
  • 43932452
    43932452 Posts: 7,246 Member
    My mother calls me 'lithe' ... since I don't see it .. I cringe at that even though she is being sincere.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Saying "thank you" when complimented is a skill every adult should learn. Nobody needs you to showcase your neuroses or self-esteem issues. Just say thank you and move on. It's easier. It has nothing to do with humility, and everything to do with accepting kindness gracefully.

    I do accept kindness gracefully. It has nothing to do with being neurotic. Compliments do, however, make me blush and feel awkward for a moment. I still say thank you.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Saying "thank you" when complimented is a skill every adult should learn. Nobody needs you to showcase your neuroses or self-esteem issues. Just say thank you and move on. It's easier. It has nothing to do with humility, and everything to do with accepting kindness gracefully.

    I do accept kindness gracefully. It has nothing to do with being neurotic. Compliments do, however, make me blush and feel awkward for a moment. I still say thank you.

    Not picking on you specifically. More of a PSA. The more you know... * * swish *
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Saying "thank you" when complimented is a skill every adult should learn. Nobody needs you to showcase your neuroses or self-esteem issues. Just say thank you and move on. It's easier. It has nothing to do with humility, and everything to do with accepting kindness gracefully.

    I do accept kindness gracefully. It has nothing to do with being neurotic. Compliments do, however, make me blush and feel awkward for a moment. I still say thank you.

    Not picking on you specifically. More of a PSA. The more you know... * * swish *

    I know. I just wanted to clarify.
  • ThineOwnselfBTrue
    ThineOwnselfBTrue Posts: 49 Member
    Thanks all, good to know I am not the only one who has a hard time with compliments. I will try to take the advice offered and smile and say "thank you" and not offer my negative comments in response. :-)

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