Hi! I'm new here!

I am a 35 year old female. I am currently 175lbs size 14 and 5'6". I am a type 1 diabetic completely natural. I have known I was diabetic since I was 6 years old. So I don't have issues with sugars or carbs, I do however have some major problems with calories and fat.

In the past four years I have dropped ten dress sizes from a size 24 to a 14. I am quite proud of that and up until some months ago I was very happy with my body. Then one day I literally woke up and something had changed I was no longer happy with my body and I was quite disgusted by it. I'm not exactly what happened but I would like to feel like confiedence again. I'm not exactly use to hating my body.

I have joined a gym and work with a personal trainer a couple of days a week and work out on my own during the times. I also do ab workouts at home on my off days. I leave the gym feeling sweaty and tired like I've just kicked my butt. But then I get out to the vehicle and I feel like I didn't do well enough that I didn't give it my all. I feel like something is wrong with me mentally to keep thinking that.

I keep thinking I want this as I near my breaking point when working out, how bad I want to lose these 40 lbs brings me to tears some days.

All I want is to be fit and healthy and have my diabetes be less of a painstaking hassle to deal with for the first time in my life.

Anyone else ever feel or think these thoughts?