Cruel people

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Replies

  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    They honestly may not see it. My daughter in law tells me she's lost 20 lbs and I honestly can't see she looks any different than she did before. I just smile and say that's great but if she didn't keep mentioning it I'd never have known. Sometimes it takes more for anyone to see the loss.
  • KittiesSong
    KittiesSong Posts: 33
    A 5K that's fantastic! I hope to be able to run a 5K in the future but I'm not there yet! As for those grumpy bums, I believe it's just a case of ignorance blended with a subtle hint of jealousy. You don't have anything to prove to them... AT ALL! If you feel great and are seeing results that make you healthier and happier then by all means celebrate! Yea stuff like that stings but remember we all get unsolicited comments from time to time... -_- My thought process is "I didn't ask so don't tell please" Sometimes people just need a quick lesson in manners and personal respect!
  • belgd
    belgd Posts: 26 Member
    As long as you can notice the change don't worry too much about it. They probably can't really tell since it's a photo and not in person. I don't know why they even commented that in the first place. If it's something that might bring you down, why comment?
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
    You can choose to let them hurt your feelings, or you can choose to not give them that power. They're your feelings, take ownership of them, and don't give toxic people the power to affect them.
  • MickeyBoo
    MickeyBoo Posts: 196 Member
    Some people, if they can't see perfection they don't see a success. You've done a fantastic job, don't let them undermine you and all your efforts to be healthier.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Unless they have a history of deliberately treating you unkindly, it's possible that it was just a thoughtless, off-hand comment. I prefer to just think people are unintentionally inconsiderate, rather than believing they are trying to hurt me.

    If there IS a history of them being unkind, then try to rise above it, and understand that it is their issue - not yours. You are doing really well and should be proud of yourself.
  • bbzgrl110
    bbzgrl110 Posts: 45 Member
    Fast forward a year... they'll still be mean but YOU will be lean, slim and fit. :bigsmile:

    I completely agree!!
  • Kabiti
    Kabiti Posts: 191 Member
    Some people are unintentionally critical... others do it on purpose. It's hard to tell them apart sometimes.

    I'm heading into a stage of life where I'll be getting a lot of criticism and negativity. Much of it will be subconcious... but that doesn't make it right.
  • ViktoryaC
    ViktoryaC Posts: 124 Member
    I've gained almost 60 pounds in the past 18 months, after basically being a skinny rail my whole life, and yes, let me tell you, people can be cruel and let you know about every body flaw. Silence them. Ignore them. Listen to your inner voice. ANd keep going!
  • Samstan101
    Samstan101 Posts: 699 Member
    I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I am not doing this for them, I'm doing it for me. They wouldn't even know about my diet if it wasn't for my youngest sister visiting and observing my exercise/diet. At my height, almost any weight loss (especially 20lbs) is noticed. My family will bring it up (publicly) if they perceive that I've gained weight.
    My issue isn't that they don't think I look thinner. My issue is that I didn't ask what they thought, but they made sure to let me know that they saw my fb pic and didn't see any difference. It's not like I asked, "Hey, do I look smaller?" and they were just being 'Honest.' It was a jerk comment for no apparent reason.

    Ask them their 5k run time :D
  • atb0821
    atb0821 Posts: 458 Member
    Just keep in mind how wonderful it will feel to get to your goal size and prove to them you can do it. I know that feel and it's awesome. :smile:
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    "I let my h8trs be my motiv8trs"


    and if that doesn't work..punch em in the throat...that usually makes ya feel better then..

    :laugh:
  • newdoda
    newdoda Posts: 30 Member
    Happy day to you and WAY TO GO! You've put in a lot of hard work and their negativity does not negate that in any way! There is NO WAY you could lose 20 lbs and it not be noticeable, no way. You DO look different just not through the lens of the green eyed monster. I like ekz advice:) Keep up the AMAZING work, you are beautiful:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • teesfood
    teesfood Posts: 77
    WOW... Well you have support here. Might not be the same, but its something. I wish you the best! Hell with the haters - thats what they do - let them do their damn job. And make sure you get your 17 laughs in on their acct. Misery loves company. Blessings boo!
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
    Yes, that does sound mean and I would feel hurt in that situation. We expect our families to be on our side and it is very disappointing when they belittle us.

    I was trying to come up with a positive thought, but I have been completely derailed by the earlier poster who suggested you ask them their 5k time. I'm not sure surreptitious s******ing over your family's physical failings is a healthy outlet for your frustration, but I think it is the comforting thought that I would run to, weak fool that I am! Along with mental images of how far they possibly could run and what they would look like doing it.


    The word that has been blanked out refers to secretive and often juvenile laughter, and has nothing to do with African Americans or the slave trade.
  • suzyfj8
    suzyfj8 Posts: 257 Member
    Ignore them, you are doing amazingly well keep up the good work ad forget their mean comments!
  • linzchapates
    linzchapates Posts: 135
    They're jealous... One thing nobody can argue with is how you feel... you feel different, you feel great.. they can't take that from you... maybe they don't see the changes (or are ignoring them) but you FEEL better! Misery enjoys company, they're just projecting their own insecurities and stigma's onto you.
    Congrats on the 5k!!!
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Sounds like they are comparing your success to their own. They know how they lose lots of weight quickly and think that is success, then they hate themselves when they gain it back. If you have always been thinner, then they may resent you for that to begin with. Then to see you creating healthy habits for the long term, makes them nervous. If you succeed your way, that means their way is wrong. They don't want to be wrong, yet they don't want to change, so that leaves convincing you and themselves, that your way isn't going to work either.
    Low self esteems at work all around, which comes out in the form of jealousy and cruelty.
    Sorry that you don't get the healthy support from the people who should love and support you the most.
    Families are flawed. Take the good and leave the junk behind.
    Great job on the 5K, and continue working to be your best.. for you!
  • GGDaddy
    GGDaddy Posts: 289 Member
    Right now they say they don't see a change.

    Later, with bigger losses and the change smacking them in the face, they'll say "oh, you'll never keep it off."

    You'll never be happy until you get yourself to **geniunely** not care what they think. You can't change what they say, you can only change your response.


    ETA: DebbieLyn, pp, is dead-on right. Strongly agree!

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