Sooo, have a "Dating" question for yous guys! :)

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2

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  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    I met my wife online years ago. I was busy as well, working 60+ hours a week in the winter, just bought a house and got out on my own, really had no time to go out and meet people, etc. The online deal worked great, I could check it later at night, set up some dates for the weekend. Most of the girls I met on there were flaky, but when I finally met my wife it was all worth it. I'd give the online dating a shot, it seems to work well if you're busy, etc.
    I'm not against it really...and I have tried it. But I wasn't having any luck at all and it kind of turned me off. So many game players! Yuck!! But we'll see! :) Glad it worked out for you!!
  • janupshaw
    janupshaw Posts: 205 Member
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    I think it's important to be happy with yourself first, before you get into a relationship. Meaning; be single, be happy! Nothing wrong with that at all!
  • underwater77
    underwater77 Posts: 331 Member
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    I have found that my married friends and friends who have a revolving door for "serious" boyfriends do not understand my contentment being single. I think they assume I am putting on a front about being very happy alone. But they could not be more wrong.

    Definitely different strokes for different folks and I think it's safe to assume your friends may be the same way - I think it is hard for someone who thrives in the company of others to understand how people can be happy single, doing their own thing. Much like I look at them and wonder how the hell they don't get sick of the same person around them every single day.

    I love to get up crazy early and sip coffee > walk dog > go to yoga > work > gym > grill > read > trashy TV > cuddle my dog and go to bed by 9. Boring and mundane and I love it.
  • Tahitidreamz
    Tahitidreamz Posts: 20
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    Hi TamTastic! There is nothing weird about "doing you". Now what gets weird is being single for so long that you have to seek some kind of dr. Phil moment because you then end up scared to go through the drama all over again. Ps. I think according to the men census after 3 years of celibacy I am considered new virgin again........ I am looking forward to my next moment of #havingsexanxiety.

    Hardy har har.
  • jennpaulson
    jennpaulson Posts: 850 Member
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    It is perfectly ok to be single for as long as you want to be single. I haven't been in a long term relationship since my daughter's father and that ended in 2001. There have only been two men that I have introduced her to in that time and it took almost 6 years before that happened the first time.
    Online dating sucks, I tried every site out there and met nothing but players, psychos and stalkers. I also have the problem that men don't approach me when I'm out (except for the old creepy ones) and I don't understand it either. I've been told it's because I'm intimidating or because I'm too independent. Well if that's the case, too bad because I'm not changing the fact that I can take care of me and mine all on my own.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    This is why I'm so careful. My sweeties. Add on full time work, exercise, healthy lifestyle and great family and friends and my life is pretty full! Yes I love romance too! When the time is right and the right one comes along I guess! :)

    39610_2233.jpg
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
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    Its perfectly fine to be on your own. Take care of you & your boys.

    Enjoy being able to turn your brain off and not think about relationships. Its so good for the soul.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Hi TamTastic! There is nothing weird about "doing you". Now what gets weird is being single for so long that you have to seek some kind of dr. Phil moment because you then end up scared to go through the drama all over again. Ps. I think according to the men census after 3 years of celibacy I am considered new virgin again........ I am looking forward to my next moment of #havingsexanxiety.

    Hardy har har.
    Awwww you can do it!! It is scary. And strange. When you've been out of the scene for awhile.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    coupled friends are marginally happier when all their single friends are also suffering :) also people get a charge out of thinking they help other people, by connecting them with boyfriends, flight deals, doctors, etc. hooking up two friends together = twofer
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 905 Member
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    So I date sometimes. I did the online thing before but that was sort of turning me off dating! lol! I am a single, working mother and I have a 4 and almost 7 year old boys and I work full-time. I was in a relationship last year for about 8 months that didn't end well and he didn't handle things right by my boys upon our end. He was a coward. They still talk about him even though it's been months.

    I'm so busy and also very wary about trusting someone with my boys again. I like being in a relationship but the "dating" part to get to that point is difficult! haha! I'm also OK being on my own. I'm not the type to have to jump from person to person. I am very comfortable with my own company. But I am romantic, passionate, and like what a relationship is about. So I have everyone around me saying "we know someone" or "My husband thinks you should date his friend" or "Going out this weekend??" I guess my question is....... isn't it OK I'm fine on my own right now? My boys even ask about me having a boyfriend! lol! I say "It has to be the right one for all of us" (I call us the three musketeers!). Sometimes I get lonely and again like having a boyfriend...but in the meantime my plate is pretty full and whoever I do date has to be pretty patient. It's all about quality of time vs quantity these days.

    So I don't understand why people keep pushing me. To each their own right? We're doing ok! Is there something weird about me being fine being single for the moment?? Ahhh, what say you! :)

    Someone once set me up in a relationship that turned out to be a disaster. He wanted to marry me before I thought I was ready. I'm still single.

    Unlike me, you have your sons to think about. I think that your friends and family want to see you happy--but if you think that it's not right at this point, then staying single till you feel ready is good. It's not just about you, it's also about your sons. "Love me, love my children".
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Thanks for all the replies guys! I really do feel fine. It's not that I don't want to date or have a boyfriend, etc or that I'm anti-man! lol! I think men are great and I love doing lots of fun things with them!! haha!! :wink: ....I just feel fine waiting for the right one to come along that will also be fine with this package deal. So until then I am content on my own with them and my life as it is.

    I am somewhat of an old soul. I like things being sort of old school. I like having a lot of sex with the same person I am in a relationship with. My friends say "Get out and have fun and do whatever"..that's just not my style.

    My mother was also a single mother and thank God she raised me as she did. To be strong and independent. :smile:
  • siegte16v
    siegte16v Posts: 139
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    Do what you feels right....hard to believe a women that good looking can be single for long! Ha
  • crackur
    crackur Posts: 473 Member
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    my mom was single and raised my siblings and I..........single is def not bad. Time to focus on the important things in life without being seen as selfish.
  • zedgt87
    zedgt87 Posts: 379 Member
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    stay single
  • sheenarama
    sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
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    In the exact same boat!!! I have boys 7 and 5... we have a blast. I go on dates but haven't been in a relationship in 2.5 years. I'm enjoying being single. Eventually I may find someone, but for now.. I'm just enjoying the ride. Cheers!
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    In the exact same boat!!! I have boys 7 and 5... we have a blast. I go on dates but haven't been in a relationship in 2.5 years. I'm enjoying being single. Eventually I may find someone, but for now.. I'm just enjoying the ride. Cheers!
    Glad I'm not alone. And do you have everyone wanting you to be in a relationship?? :laugh:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Do what you feels right....hard to believe a women that good looking can be single for long! Ha

    Thank you! Well it's all about finding the right one right??? I'm a sap!! :blushing:
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I think you are a very smart woman. Youre protecting your boys from having a revolving door of men in their lives. They'll have more pride in their Mama who worked her azz off for them and didnt just settle on dating some man out of desperation. You take your time, be picky, and introduce your boys to the man who is worthy of knowing those great kids.
  • missmelt
    missmelt Posts: 923 Member
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    In the exact same boat!!! I have boys 7 and 5... we have a blast. I go on dates but haven't been in a relationship in 2.5 years. I'm enjoying being single. Eventually I may find someone, but for now.. I'm just enjoying the ride. Cheers!


    Same! Except i have girls 8 and 7. Dating can be fun but it can also be so arrgh!!! Men!
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Totally get this.

    I am a full time working 100% single mum as well. The dating game is difficult, because I don't want to have a parade of men through my daughter's life - but then how do you get to know someone... I tend to go out on lunch dates, but pretty much keep it at the "friend" level for the moment. Not many men want that, all of the ones I've dated want a full on relationship and I don't - so I'm still single and quite happy about it.

    If I met someone who I REALLY clicked with, then maybe something would change, but for the moment being a mother comes first and all else comes later. I console myself with the knowledge that it wont be this way forever :)

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