Lap band vent

Options
Nycdanz13
Nycdanz13 Posts: 69
in Motivation and Support
My good friend had a lap band procedure a few months ago. I tried talking her out of it multiple times before because she does not have the motivation and commitment to stick with a healthy diet and the lap band wasn't going to change that. Well surprise surprise she isn't losing weight as quickly as she wanted. I want to shake her by the shoulders and say it's because you are still eating cake and chips and brownies and *kitten* and skipping all your exercises. I'm so frustrated. She went through is thinking it was going to be her magic fix and wouldn't listen to anyone and turns out we all were right and she's back to being depressed about her weight.

Vent over.

Replies

  • Phoenix_Warrior
    Phoenix_Warrior Posts: 1,633 Member
    Options
    I still eat cake, chips and brownies :(
  • mhouston2011
    mhouston2011 Posts: 155
    Options
    what a supportive friend you are...she is so lucky to have you :grumble:
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Options
    I loves cakes and brownies. :-D
  • Briargrey
    Briargrey Posts: 498 Member
    Options
    Turn her on to MFP and let her know she can still eat those things, in moderation, and that the resources are here to help her really succeed! I know we've got some posters who have had great success with a lapband, and since she took that route, maybe she needs some more tools to help.

    If she won't do it, just let her know you care and you're here for her, but otherwise, it's her life, her body, her choice.
  • lisaanne1369
    lisaanne1369 Posts: 377 Member
    Options
    potato chips cake and beer ! my 3 food groups ! I don't agree with surgery either. This way- MFP is so much EZer and cheeper !
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    Options
    Hopefully her doctor will give her a wake up call about how dangerous her refusal to do what she is supposed to is. I know that she had to probably go on a restrictive diet for a month before her surgery.

    My best friend had the surgery too, and though I was worried I also know that she thought about it for a long time and did a lot of research into it. For her it's the best solution, and she's being very good about following her doctor's orders. She lost weight on the diet prior to her surgery and she's losing weight now, and she's also learning about nutrition, self-discipline, and what her limits are.

    I'm very proud of her and happy for the better health she'll have because of this!

    Try to be encouraging, supportive, and most of all, remember that your friend may have things happening in her life that you are not aware of. I firmly believe that our outer forms reflect what we are struggling with inside. I wish the best for both of you.
  • theoriginaljayne
    theoriginaljayne Posts: 562 Member
    Options
    I tried talking her out of it multiple times before because she does not have the motivation and commitment to stick with a healthy diet and the lap band wasn't going to change that.

    Sure, the lap band isn't a magic fix. It does take a lot of work. Maybe your friend didn't fully realize that.

    However, I don't think she's going to be any more successful if you tell her that she doesn't have enough "motivation and commitment" to lose weight every time she eats a brownie. It's not going to help her make changes, and it's just going to hurt your friendship.
  • Keiras_Mom
    Keiras_Mom Posts: 844 Member
    Options
    Her body, her choice.
  • JacMarieSTL
    JacMarieSTL Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    Turn her on to MFP and let her know she can still eat those things, in moderation, and that the resources are here to help her really succeed! I know we've got some posters who have had great success with a lapband, and since she took that route, maybe she needs some more tools to help.

    If she won't do it, just let her know you care and you're here for her, but otherwise, it's her life, her body, her choice.

    THIS!!!

    With that being said... I had the Lap Band done about 5 years ago... I had her mentality. It took me about 3 months and 2 visits back to my surgeon to realize that this was hard work! The BIGGEST misconception about Bariatric Surgery, by not only the patient themselves, but the general public is that this is easy. This is in NO WAY easy... I work for EVERY single pound I lose with the help of counting calories here on MFP and by running, and doing complete body strength training.

    I hope she wakes up and realizes that she cant do that... She'll never become successful with the Band if she continues down that road. Good luck to her.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Options
    Turn her on to MFP and let her know she can still eat those things, in moderation, and that the resources are here to help her really succeed! I know we've got some posters who have had great success with a lapband, and since she took that route, maybe she needs some more tools to help.

    If she won't do it, just let her know you care and you're here for her, but otherwise, it's her life, her body, her choice.

    Aww why? It's better this way because she can make a thread and gloat to strangers about how right she was instead of help her "good friend".
  • mnardi123
    mnardi123 Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    I with everyone else here, were you looking to bash those of us who underwent surgery or are you looking to pat yourself on the back? Maybe you should reflect on what kind of friend you are. My best friend (who has never had a weight problem) loved and supported me through all my decisions regardless of her personal feelings.
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
    Options
    Man...the way people interpret things...

    I get what you mean. There's nothing wrong with her getting the surgery...but when you're going to eat crap and not exercise, stop complaining when you don't lose the weight. It gets old after a while...
  • _Rogue
    _Rogue Posts: 37 Member
    Options
    Turn her on to MFP and let her know she can still eat those things, in moderation, and that the resources are here to help her really succeed! I know we've got some posters who have had great success with a lapband, and since she took that route, maybe she needs some more tools to help.

    If she won't do it, just let her know you care and you're here for her, but otherwise, it's her life, her body, her choice.

    THIS !!

    Change your attitude about it and encourage her towards another direction(eating healthy/MFP/ETC)...or....mind your own business.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Options
    you can only fix the body after you fix the mind

Categories