Unsolicited advice....

feelin_gr_8
feelin_gr_8 Posts: 308 Member
in Motivation and Support
How do you handle unsolicited advice? If you ask for advice, you should be ready for whatever someone says...but when you don't ask for it and someone just tosses it at you, I tend to get annoyed! I know I should just let it go, but quite frankly...I don't know, maybe I need to vent. I don't ask other people if I should eat more organic/vegetarian/low-carb/"clean" etc...so why do they have to tell me how to do it? There are a lot of people on here that lose weight with much different methods than I believe in or could handle, but that's their strategy and more power to them....What do you do when other people tell you how you SHOULD be doing things? (especially if what you are doing IS working!)

FYI-my mini rant doesn't have to do with anyone I know on MFP, just life.

and on a completely unrelated note....so what's with egg yolks? I eat eggs whole, despite the calories in the yolk....what do you do with your yolks if you are an egg white only person? Or do most people that do egg whites only buy the stuff in the cartons? Curious-I can't stand wasting half the egg by just tossing it.
«1

Replies

  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    "Thanks, I'll take it into consideration". With either a big "eat my ****" eye-roll or a "I'm going to kill you in your sleep" smile.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    EAT BACON :laugh: I know what you mean I have had people come up to me and say "Wow, I see you lost some weight. You should ______"
    Yes I eat the whole egg too. Why waste the good vitamins in the yolk?
  • feelin_gr_8
    feelin_gr_8 Posts: 308 Member
    Just your responses make me feel better lol.
  • MrsR0SE
    MrsR0SE Posts: 313 Member
    I use the same tactics I developed with my mother as a teenager. Nod as if I'm taking it all in, and then do whatever I wanted to do in the first place anyway :)




    And I eat the whole egg, the yolk has protein in it and it tastes yummy!
  • Shawshankcan
    Shawshankcan Posts: 900 Member

    and on a completely unrelated note....so what's with egg yolks? I eat eggs whole, despite the calories in the yolk....what do you do with your yolks if you are an egg white only person? Or do most people that do egg whites only buy the stuff in the cartons? Curious-I can't stand wasting half the egg by just tossing it.

    I eat a whole egg and a cup of egg whites from a carton mixed together a day.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
    Everyone thinks that their way is the "right" way. It's just the nature of humans I think. Unfortunately, some people feel the need to project their opinions as facts regardless on whether or not you asked for it.

    Fact is, there is more than one way to skin a cat.
  • kgreenRDLDN
    kgreenRDLDN Posts: 248 Member
    I usually just ignore it, or if its something that I know is wrong (like some diet advice the is horribly wrong-I'm a dietitian) I correct them.

    As for eggs, I eat the full egg. There is nothing wrong with it unless you have heart disease and your cardiologist has recommended to limit your cholesterol in your diet.
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
    My thing is the snoopervisor types - you know, that hover over you while you make selections or are actually eating verifying that you are 'doing it right' or 'keeping on the straight and narrow'. I have lost 38 lbs so far. Maintained for 2 months over the summer and then decided to go down a bit more after that. I've got this. So I feel for you. If you have lost a noticeable amount you are doing it right for you - and people then feel that they want to get on board. Some of them out of caring and some because people are silly about boundaries and feel they can say anything to you without a filter. I think the nod sagely and keep on trucking approach is best. You do you, and let them do them. People are generally frustrating about most subjects when they can't respect boundaries - like telling you how to drive, what exercises are better, how to be a better person...this is just a very touchy subject.
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
    That's happened to me before too. My daughter was having soccer practice and I was talking about lifting and another parent was talking about how she doesn't lift. Her sister, who was also Miss "Name Your State", doesn't lift either but they are in great shape. Then she goes on to tell me that her sister does do lunges with weights, dips, pull ups and push ups. :wink: She herself doesn't believe in lifting because she doesn't want to get bulky. That's why she only does cardio to "tone up". :noway: I giggled and thought, oh...so that's why you jiggle when your run your 2 miles during practice. I thought "That's why I have really nicely toned arms and legs, because of the very minimal amount of cardio I do and NOT from my lifting." :brokenheart: For the record, I have absolutely nothing against cardio.


    And egg whites...I recently read an article that said in order to properly absorb (not sure if that would be the correct word) all the nutrients from eggs, you had to eat the whole egg. I guess it was a you can't have one nutrient without the other (that was found in the yolk) kind of thing.

    Edited: Because of my grammatical errors.
  • Fitfully_me
    Fitfully_me Posts: 647 Member
    Everyone thinks that their way is the "right" way. It's just the nature of humans I think. Unfortunately, some people feel the need to project their opinions as facts regardless on whether or not you asked for it.

    Fact is, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

    I agree with this.
    Its a struggle some days, but I'm learning to let people have their say. I understand that whatever degree of success a person is having on their journey is noteworthy, so I try to smile, and say encouraging things like... "I'm happy that's working for you. :smile: ) Meanwhile of course, I'm thinking to myself... Nope. :noway: I won't be doing that...


    But I've always wondered why people need so many ways to skin cats. :ohwell:
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    I tend to think of it as 'misery loves company,' that what unsolicited advice is, one who is so unhappy that they want others to be just as unhappy as they are, if you look at it that way it may not bother you as much.

    I eat my eggs whole, sometimes I will eat one whole and one white depending on how my calories are doing for the day. Personally I think the benefits from the yolk outweigh the calories.
  • lebaker310
    lebaker310 Posts: 164 Member
    I've been working out and eating clean since April and have made great progress doing things on my own. My boyfriend just started bulking 3 weeks ago and now thinks he knows everything about everything fitness and health related.

    When he starts his "do this/do that" speech, I usually tell him to shut up and go make me a sandwich... with extra bacon.



    but seriously it used to really bother me hearing it from others and now I don't even try to object, I smile and nod and pretend I'm listening but I'm really I'm just thinking about food.
  • CompressedCarbon
    CompressedCarbon Posts: 357 Member
    My response? "Thanks for your input." And then I walk away.
  • ToFatT0B3S1ck
    ToFatT0B3S1ck Posts: 194 Member
    I just get angry. My father-in-law thinks he knows everything about fitness. He tries to give me advice out of the blue because we are both really into it. The thing about it though, he's giving bad advice. He doesn't have his facts straight. He's also a hypocrite.

    To lose weight, I eat whatever I want. No restrictions, nothing is off limits. He would be like "pizza's the worst thing for you" as he's ordering a Cheese Steak, covered in grease and a side of fries from the exact same place I order. The difference, I eat 1 slice he eats everything he orders and some pizza as well.

    Didn't realize I was ranting. I can't really tell you to just ignore it. Obviously ^ I myself can't even ignore it.
  • piperdown44
    piperdown44 Posts: 958 Member
    I use the same tactics I developed with my mother as a teenager. Nod as if I'm taking it all in, and then do whatever I wanted to do in the first place anyway :)




    And I eat the whole egg, the yolk has protein in it and it tastes yummy!

    Great advice!
    Totally agree with the whole egg, tastes great.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I had some-one tell me I will never lose weight by counting calories that using MFP and logging my food is pointless. I'm 61.5 pounds lighter, while she's still the same fat pig she's always been. LMAO I'm mean I know, but I keep at it. I just kinda roll my eyes and pretend to listen to people's "Unsolicited advance" I stopped being friends with a vegetarian b*tch that told me I was a animal hater, for eating turkey on thanksgiving, and I should stop eating animals and be like her.

    People will say ****, their way is the only way, yada yada yada. You just gotta ignore them.
  • TigerBite
    TigerBite Posts: 611 Member
    I use the same tactics I developed with my mother as a teenager. Nod as if I'm taking it all in, and then do whatever I wanted to do in the first place anyway :)




    And I eat the whole egg, the yolk has protein in it and it tastes yummy!

    Agreed .. but the yolk doesn't have protein, it's fat ... but, it contains most of the micronutrients ... I also eat the yolks, they're the best part ...
  • omnomnomicon
    omnomnomicon Posts: 27
    If someone gives unsolicited advice, I'd just say thanks, I'll take it into consideration. Or if they're persistent, just say its not my thing, but thanks for the advice.

    On egg whites-I used to buy cartons with just the whites. No wasted yellows. I started buying whole again though, because I couldn't find egg whites that came from free range chickens. I just skip the cheese I used to do and eat the yolk instead.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I use the same tactics I developed with my mother as a teenager. Nod as if I'm taking it all in, and then do whatever I wanted to do in the first place anyway :)




    And I eat the whole egg, the yolk has protein in it and it tastes yummy!

    Agreed .. but the yolk doesn't have protein, it's fat ... but, it contains most of the micronutrients ... I also eat the yolks, they're the best part ...

    Yes! Yolk is the best part. I don't understand the whole anti-egg yolk thing either.
  • jen_zz
    jen_zz Posts: 1,011 Member
    I love yolks, I eat the whole egg.
  • Anna800
    Anna800 Posts: 639 Member
    I buy egg whites in the carton, same protein but low in cholesterol. Not that my cholesterol is a problem, but if I'm going to be eating this daily I should be careful, hence I also don't salt my eggs. I also get the benefit that it's low in calories. When logging in my breakfast that really helps!
  • Alisontheice
    Alisontheice Posts: 9,611 Member
    When I am offered unsolicited advice I sing songs in my head and ignore them. I usually get away from the person as quickly as I can or pretend I didn't even notice them speaking to me (happened just the other day). Spots keep your sanity some way and best to let that person know you aren't interested in their advice. :)
  • frommetobetterme
    frommetobetterme Posts: 124 Member
    In weight loss as in pregnancy and child rearing, I have learned that the trick is to listen the first time, do your research if the advise seems sound and then make your own decision. If it's something you've heard a million times, just nod and smile and then go on your merry way or else you'll go nuts repeating yourself and fighting for your opinions in a world where there is often no right or wrong (ok, there is, but for some things, it's more of a what works for you world).
  • frommetobetterme
    frommetobetterme Posts: 124 Member
    I use the same tactics I developed with my mother as a teenager. Nod as if I'm taking it all in, and then do whatever I wanted to do in the first place anyway :)




    And I eat the whole egg, the yolk has protein in it and it tastes yummy!

    Agreed .. but the yolk doesn't have protein, it's fat ... but, it contains most of the micronutrients ... I also eat the yolks, they're the best part ...

    Yes! Yolk is the best part. I don't understand the whole anti-egg yolk thing either.

    The yolk thing is more of a cholesterol issue and it's a bit more fat. But if you don't have cholesterol issues, have at it is my opinion! I love egg yolk, so for me no yolk = no egg (though I do sometimes add just whites to fluff up omelettes and such.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I buy egg whites in the carton, same protein but low in cholesterol. Not that my cholesterol is a problem, but if I'm going to be eating this daily I should be careful, hence I also don't salt my eggs. I also get the benefit that it's low in calories. When logging in my breakfast that really helps!

    that type of cholesterol has been shown to be barely affected by the food you eat unless you have a pre-existing condition.

    I eat up wards of 10 whole eggs a day. Seriously- nothing wrong with it what so ever. A whole egg is not really that many more calories than essentially a half an egg. it's not even 100 calories. that being said- all of this is wildly unsolicited - none requested advice. :D

    if you don't want to eat yolks- don't eat yolks. I personally HATE egg whites other than hard boiled. I think it's nasty and doesn't taste like a single thing.
  • lucystacy71
    lucystacy71 Posts: 290 Member
    When someone offers unsolicited advice, I just smile and nod. I've had it a lot lately since it's become noticeable I've lost weight. First thing people ask is, "Are you losing weight on purpose?" When I say that I am, most want to launch into some advice that I didn't ask for - nor do I need.

    As for eggs - an egg is not an egg without the yolk. :)
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    do what YOU want
    NOT what they want.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    I eat the whole egg. Love it.
    (I love eggs in avocados, baked)

    As for the unsolicited advice: It seems folks here are experts at losing weight. So they know what's best for you. They think.

    I'd say keep on ignoring them. YOU know what's working for you and ONLY YOU know what will be sustainable for you.

    Sure, ask questions, and consider their answers, but when folks tell you "how it's done" they usually don't.

    (I used to get told I was doing it "wrong" or being "unnecessarily restrictive" too. 12 years later...I think I did it right for me.)

    Best of luck with the rest of your journey!
    :drinker:
  • twinmoon
    twinmoon Posts: 108 Member
    It's really annoying. With a few exceptions, I ONLY accept feedback and advice on MFP. I also only give advice on MFP. I know most people on this site are just trying to help - not judging. That said, I have to be careful not to become miss know-it-all now that I lost the weight. Reading your post reminded me of that. Thank you. My answer to people with advice in the outside world is always the same: Unless you're in the arena getting your *kitten* kicked like I am every day, I'm not interested in you feedback. I use this for everything. I'm a single mom, work full time, and I finally lost my weight my way - with MFP support. I did what worked for me. I did restrict certain trigger foods, and I saved up calories for night-time, because I like eating later. Even now, after losing 70+ pounds, people give me advice. One relative who is way too skinny was giving me advice about losing more weight. I gave her my standard answer and added that I don't want to look like you - too skinny. I want to be strong, have curves, and enjoy food. I was overweight for years, and I'll never forget how I felt. Yesterday, I walked into a store for the first time since I lost the weight, and I almost cried, remembering exactly how sad and disillusioned I was the last time I was there. I'm still the same person, and I will never ever forget. So, take advice from those who have walked in your shoes, and tune out the rest.

    On the egg front - eat the whole egg, but consider adding egg whites. I buy it in the carton. I'd limit your yolks to two a day. Egg white omelets are one of my go to late night snacks, with a slice of weight watchers cheese, a few slices of tomato, and a quarter avocado. Yum.

    You can do this! Good job on your loss so far and good luck.
  • mizzie1980
    mizzie1980 Posts: 379 Member
    What drives me nuts are the conversations that go like this:

    "Hey, you look great! How much have you lost?"
    "About 65 pounds."
    "That's awesome! Hey, have you heard about South Beach / Atkins / cabbage soup / XYZ cleanse? It's supposed to be great, you can drop like 57 pounds in 3 days! You should do that! bla, bla, bla"

    Uh, yeah, first you acknowledge that what I am doing is working, then you immediately try to tell me how to lose weight? What? Look, of course I've heard of all those and fine if that's what works for some people, but this is working for me, so why would I want to mess with that? (I won't even get into how unhealthy a lot of those fads can be!)

    Equally annoying are the people who ask me how I'm doing it and when I answer "counting calories and exercising" they reply "Oh, no, that doesn't work." Ok? Seems to be working just fine for me.

    This is also why I keep my diary closed. As I don't have any questions on what I am eating and if it's "right", I don't want comments on what I'm eating.

Categories