Any advice for my hubby a Big Guy?
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michelegurr
Posts: 55 Member
My hubby wants to do this with me, I've about got him talked into it...even has a MFP account started...he has a lot more to lose than the average guy and a lot more to win, health wise especially! Any tips on supporting a reluctant, inexperienced dieter? And his MFP tells him he can eat up to 2900 cals and lose weight! How do you ingest that many calories, and how can you still lose weight? Any men over 375 lbs have any advice I can pass on to help motivate him?
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Replies
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i have nothing to contribute here. i wish him luck tho. i JUST LOVE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE!!!!0
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I can maintain at 2400-2500 so a male more than twice my size sure can lose on 2900. The bigger you are the more calories it takes for energy to make your body work. Just let him know it's OK the change isn't going to happen over night. It's great he is trying to get his health in order. There will be struggles but it can and will be done. Good luck to you and your hubby!0
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we have already talked but honestly he will lose at 2900 calories. Once he starts logging everything he eats it is quite the eye opener. It was for me and I was 380 when I started.
Edit to add, He has to want it. You can not want it enough for both of you. He has to be ready to make a change not just to please you but to change his life. Until then you are just Nagging, and I do not know a nicer way to put it.0 -
I started at 412. The initial calorie totals that MFP gave me was over 2500, from day one I have reduced that number further for myself. Currently, I am able to have 2250 and I try to stay below 2000 per day. If I can give a little advice, do not restrict particular foods, just budget for them. I still have ice cream occasionally and beer almost daily. I pay close attention to serving sizes and if I am not sure, I guess conservatively.
Good luck to both of you.0 -
If you're nervous/questioning MFP's calculation, double-check the calorie goal with another calculator:
http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/
http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm
Based on your description of him though, I'd say 2900 is reasonable. For reference, my boyfriend is 6' 3" about 140 lbs and his calorie goal would be 2750 to lose about a pound per week.
Edited to add: With more to lose, you can have a larger deficit. Just make sure to increase cals as the weight goes down so you don't have an excessive deficit once there is less weight to lose.0 -
First - baby steps. For God's sake don't let him think he has to eat nothing but lettuce leafs and carrots to lose weight. And he needs realistic goals. He will not be Brad Pitt in a month. Losing at about a pound a week is manageable, and not too taxing. If he throws exercise into the mix, he'll be amazed how much he can eat while still losing weight.
I lost 60 pounds eating whatever the heck I wanted to - I just learned portion control.
To start with, he needs to learn to love the scale - the kitchen scale. Everything dry must be weighed, everything liquid either weighed or measured in a measuring cup. Then log it all. Everything. No matter what. Doesn't matter if he's proud of his food diary or not - it's for him only, and cheating is only cheating himself.
Once he knows how to measure, he'll know what he's consuming. If it's hugely over maintenance levels, he may want to reduce slowly over time. Once he gets his calories consistently under maintenance, he'll start losing weight. If he's not losing weight, he's not under maintenance, period.
Once he's got the hang of that, he'll want to learn about macro-nutrients. Macronutrients are protein, fat and carbohydrates, and they are all sources of calories. By upping his protein and fat he'll feel less hungry and lose more fat v. muscle while he's dieting. Most people use the rules of thumb of - 1g of protein per pound of lean body mass, 0.35g of fat per pound of total body mass.
Now you can make sure he's getting enough vegetables, fruit, etc... That'll check the micronutrients box.
If at this point you want to go the 'lifestyle diet' route, of veganism, eating clean, paleo, etc... then have at it. But know that it's not necessary for weight loss.
Exercise is not necessary for weight loss, but has massive other benefits. Personally I recommend at least regular walking, and/or taking up a sport like tennis, basketball, etc that keeps him moving. Running not required unless he wants to. Lifting heavy weights will allow him to further improve the ratio of fat/muscle that he loses while dieting, and he will look much better at any given goal weight. I suggest StrongLifts, but that's just because that's what I do. There are loads of good beginner barbell programs out there.
I think that about covers it.0 -
My heaviest was around 330 a year ago. I'm down to 288 now. The biggest thing for me was making small changes a couple at a time. That, and walking! Get a fitbit or something to track daily activity and try and wear it every single day. Wear it for a week of normal activity to see what the baseline is. Then increase it. If he normally walks 5000 steps a day, try and walk a bit more and get 5500 or 6000. Try and gradually increase it up to 10000 steps a day.
For food, don't follow any sort of fad diets. Try and cut out processed food as much as possible and eat as much REAL food as possible. The outside aisles of the grocery stores are the best. Try and use the Mediterranean Diet as a guideline of how to eat. This is not a fad diet like some of the other no carb/high protein or other types of things. This is a well balanced way of eating that is highly recommended, easily maintained and really goes a long way to keeping your hunger at bay.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mediterranean-diet/CL00011
Also a great book that really was a great eye opener for m e and a huge kickstart in my path to healthier living and weight loss was a book by Mark Bittman called "Food Matters" http://www.amazon.com/Food-Matters-Conscious-Eating-Recipes/dp/1416575650 It was a great read that really helped me get a handle on eating REAL food and eating in a way that was both healthy and concious and that helped me with managing hunger.
If you try and stay on a limited calorie budget but are still eating crappy processed food you are going to be hungry all the time and fall right back into your old ways.
Anyway, just some tips that I have found to be immensely helpful.0 -
giddy up
do it together0 -
Tell him, it's not a diet! It's not.
Firstly, logging your food is about learning and understanding. When he can see what he's eating that's high cal, and low cal, he will start to have control and be able to make choices that help his progress.
Secondly, he can eat exactly what he wants to within his daily calories - obviously if he chooses pizza and beer exclusively, he'll miss out on vital nutrients and make himself ill, but he can still have the stuff he enjoys - preferably in moderation, and carefully weighed and measured to help him progress.
Thirdly, he's no different to anyone else, and look at all the people here that are making incredible changes and turning their lives around! They can do it, so can he!
Finally, slow and steady - he's not only changing his body, but he's changing his relationship with food so that he can live the rest of his life fit and healthy.0 -
He will be amazed at the calorie, sugar and sodium counts in the most benign foods and THAT is a big motivator for many of us. I am a very clean eater, but was astounded this week to find that a small cup of broccoli & cheddar soup from a nice cafe had 480 calories and 700 grams of sodium. Totally blew my macros for the day with one small bowl of soup. Another motivator is "don't deprive." You can still eat tacos, or pork roast, just heed the portion sizes. Even the most blah veggies can be souped up by splashing some olive oil on them w/salt, pepper and herbs and grill them or toss them in a sauce pan and cook down until they are carmelly brown - onions, brussels sprouts, mushrooms, sugar snap peas. Try roasting broccoli, cauliflower and/or sweet potatoes w/a splash of olive oil, salt/pepper and a sprinkle of parm cheese. It really is very easy to make very tasty, healthy whole foods. Use whole grains and I promise he will feel fuller on less.
Another really good book is Michael Pollan's "Food Rules" and/or "The Omnivore's Dilemma." Not preachy, just telling it like it is. If you cannot pronounce it, don't eat it.0 -
I eat about 2500 calories a day.. .I weigh 168 lbs and never gain.. I exercise every day though and eat lots of fruit
and nuts .... He can easily lose eating those calories but needs to at least walk or ride a stationary bike.0 -
First - baby steps. For God's sake don't let him think he has to eat nothing but lettuce leafs and carrots to lose weight. And he needs realistic goals. He will not be Brad Pitt in a month. Losing at about a pound a week is manageable, and not too taxing. If he throws exercise into the mix, he'll be amazed how much he can eat while still losing weight.
I lost 60 pounds eating whatever the heck I wanted to - I just learned portion control.
To start with, he needs to learn to love the scale - the kitchen scale. Everything dry must be weighed, everything liquid either weighed or measured in a measuring cup. Then log it all. Everything. No matter what. Doesn't matter if he's proud of his food diary or not - it's for him only, and cheating is only cheating himself.
Once he knows how to measure, he'll know what he's consuming. If it's hugely over maintenance levels, he may want to reduce slowly over time. Once he gets his calories consistently under maintenance, he'll start losing weight. If he's not losing weight, he's not under maintenance, period.
Once he's got the hang of that, he'll want to learn about macro-nutrients. Macronutrients are protein, fat and carbohydrates, and they are all sources of calories. By upping his protein and fat he'll feel less hungry and lose more fat v. muscle while he's dieting. Most people use the rules of thumb of - 1g of protein per pound of lean body mass, 0.35g of fat per pound of total body mass.
Now you can make sure he's getting enough vegetables, fruit, etc... That'll check the micronutrients box.
If at this point you want to go the 'lifestyle diet' route, of veganism, eating clean, paleo, etc... then have at it. But know that it's not necessary for weight loss.
Exercise is not necessary for weight loss, but has massive other benefits. Personally I recommend at least regular walking, and/or taking up a sport like tennis, basketball, etc that keeps him moving. Running not required unless he wants to. Lifting heavy weights will allow him to further improve the ratio of fat/muscle that he loses while dieting, and he will look much better at any given goal weight. I suggest StrongLifts, but that's just because that's what I do. There are loads of good beginner barbell programs out there.
I think that about covers it.
Good advice.0 -
Anything is achievable if he keeps his motivation going and remember he will need to get some kind of athletic training going which at first will be very difficult. Good Luck to the both of you!0
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i've weighed over 400lbs before and currently weigh around 345 if he is anything like me tell him to get his cardio in on the bike and eliptical these will take some of the pressure off the knees and ankles. take it slow set small goals each working towards a bigger one. don't skip meals and if you have a bad day oh well forget about and try to have a good day on the next one. like everyone else said once he's logged for a little bit he'll see it on paper what he's been eating and the facts of it and if he is serious he'll cut some of those foods out. good luck0
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He can eat that much and still lose because he's a big guy with a lot to carry around when he moves. The more he loses the less he'll eat (bit by bit, it won't be sudden).
Good luck!0 -
My hubby is a big guy - started at 365 lbs. He shoots for 2700 calories per day & is sedentary. He IS losing weight! What's really helped motivate him is to see the changes in ME! He's a stubborn guy, so no amount of bugging or nagging or trying to control what he eats is going to work in our house (and he's the cook & the primary grocery shopper!), so I talk about what I'm doing a lot, and essentially lead by example. And yes, you can lose weight on more calories than you think,especially if your metabolism has been slowed to a crawl by not eating enough. That's what happened to me & I was up to 250 lbs! The less I ate, the more my metabolism shut down, and the heavier I got. I don't think of it as a diet... I think of it as "eating"! I don't use MyFitnessPal to help keep me BELOW 1700 calories, it's a target for me to get as close as I can TO 1700 calories without going over! And with no exercise I've lost 20 pounds in 10 weeks! And I'm eating like a horse! All along I wasn't eating enough & throwing my body into starvation mode! It's strange because it goes against everything I was ever led to believe about weightloss!
I hope that little bit of info helps you! YES, he CAN lose weight on that many calories, and leading by example has helped to motivate my husband who's been seriously overweight for over 10 years.
Best wishes!0 -
Im a big guy. Not that big....but still a big guy. Have your husband join up and friend me. Id be glad to help him out.0
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He has to want to do it.
The good news is, if he logs everything, he should begin to drop weight very soon because he has so much to lose.0 -
If he's reluctant, just get him used to logging so that he at least knows what he's eating. I can easily eat 2900 calories in one meal...granted, I probably wouldn't eat much more than a few light snacks the rest of the day, but that's an ok route too.
-Log food, even if it's a bad day (I suck at this)
-try to hit your goal
-move a little bit more.
-Be patient (both of you)
-Go slowly. It sucks if you feel like you're "punishing" yourself and using the hope of reaching some imaginary goal, only to find out that you didn't make the goal.0 -
Yeah,
step one, don't diet.
Its a lifestyle change. Get him on the calorie deficit and logging.
Get active. Lifting, running, anything really.
I did couch 2 5k and strong lifts 5x5
give him anything he wants in the bedroom.0
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