Any advice for my hubby a Big Guy?

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Replies

  • YogaJim108
    YogaJim108 Posts: 30 Member
    My advice for him would be to not try to change everything at once. Have him try to incorporate something new each week instead of trying to deprive him of something. If he is not drinking any water, have him start by drinking a glass of water each day instead of trying for eight glasses right away. If he doesn't exercise, have him do something for 5 minutes to start and then build up. I look at weight loss as a journey not a destination. Good luck to him and you.
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
    My hubby is 6'4" and 340's, he's eating 2700 to lose. IIFYM.com will give you a TDEE calculator and a lot of great information!
  • maryann9wood
    maryann9wood Posts: 75 Member
    My husband started when I did. He's a big guy and he's lost 40 pounds. He does much better when he logs his own food. He will ask me to do it, but it's not effective. He goes to the gym and does treadmill and bike. He likes sugar-free jello in the evening instead of ice cream. Portion control is the most important thing. We don't weigh and measure everything like some people here do, but we got out the measuring cups and spoons and learned what those sizes look like. One tablespoon of butter is NOT as much as will stay on top of mashed potatoes!
  • SmileCozYouCan
    SmileCozYouCan Posts: 315 Member
    i have nothing to contribute here. i wish him luck tho. i JUST LOVE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE!!!!

    This!!
  • zilfig64
    zilfig64 Posts: 71 Member
    A lot of great advice so far! I am 6'5 - was 349, took me about a year to lose 20 pounds, then joined MFP and lost 52lbs in 6 months (and 9" around my stomach).
    Three pieces of advice:
    1 - LOG - it is amazing the information he can get from that - totally eye opening. I thought I was eating well, and reasonable calories - was eating much more than I thought!!
    2 - DON"T make major changes in diet right away. Make small ones and build up - that way your mind will go along with your body, and it wont be quite so hard. Amazing once you start switching out that peanut butter sandwich at 3pm for an apple how much difference those little steps can make - especially in a big guy. Keep at the small changes - they will all add up! Don't deprive yourself of what you like - I still have a beer or wine almost every day - but 1, occasionally 2, but not 4-5-6.
    3 - EXERCISE - Can be hard at first - I could only do 5 pushups, 15 sit-ups, and 15min on the eliptical was killer. But keep at it - do what you can and add alittle - I added 1 pushup and 2 sit-ups every week. Then as I got stronger added more, but not so much it hurt.

    Another thing - tell him don't get discouraged if his weight does not drop every week (I weigh weekly - too much variation daily). I have had weeks with no loss, and weeks with 6 lbs lost - your body adjusts all the time -just keep at it.

    As an added bonus - tell him losing wieght and inches around his stomach/waist makes other things bigger!

    Good luck to him (and you). Lots of great people here for support.
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
    So here. I put this together a while back. It seems to have helped some folks. It worked for me and tons of others.

    1. don't trust the initial setup that MFP provides. If you put in the wrong/inaccurate information, it'll tell you to eat an amount that may not be applicable.
    2. Make sure you eat enough.
    3. Figure out what works for you and is sustainable/healthy/long term.
    4. avoid fads. don't buy in to any "Hey, try the twinkie and vodka diet"
    5. Don't cut out anything now that you don't plan on literally giving up forever.
    6. GET A FOOD SCALE. Weigh everything. No, seriously.
    7. Get an HRM with a chest strap. You'll at least have a better idea of what you're burning. It'll be more accurate than the generic info in the exercise database.. and even more than the cardio machines. This is great for steady state cardio (run/walk/etc)
    8. Don't go balls out. You'll burn out. I see 300 lb people show up here, instantly start working out and cutting their intake SEVERELY... trying to cut out all of their carbs at once.. whatever. Take it slow. Figure out how much you need to eat FIRST in order to lose.. then incorporate exercise.
    9. Don't cardio yourself to death.
    10. Take the information on the forums with a grain of salt. A lot of people that have been here for a while.. and have been successful, may seem jaded. They give out GREAT advice day after day, only to be met with people that refuse to listen.
    11. Eat real food. Not diet food. Not "low fat, sugar free, now without X." It's easier to get/find/count.
    12. don't set time restrictions.
    13. measure yourself weekly. Don't just weigh. Measure and take pictures.
    14 BE PATIENT.
    15. Avoid forum topics that have "1200" in the title. It's just full of butthurt. Lots of it.
    16. This isn't a game, it's about changing your lifestyle. Do that.

    pretty much that.
  • AquabearGO
    AquabearGO Posts: 232 Member
    bump
  • michelegurr
    michelegurr Posts: 55 Member
    Thanks!LOL I work in a vet clinic so the profile pic was ever so perfect for me!
  • soltris
    soltris Posts: 13 Member
    This advice is all spot on, but most importantly: baby steps to start with. I'd say start with the calorie counter and don't try to make huge changes to diet immediately, just get him counting calories and logging everything (everything!) and he should be able to work out pretty quickly how much of whatever he can eat. Changing everything at once is very difficult and, while possible, is much more likely to cause a breakdown and regression later.

    I'm 339 now, was 391 at my worst and started MFP at 366. The app said I could eat 2550 calories daily... so I did! You can see my diary, I eat pretty atrociously and will admit to it. It works as advertised though and if he sticks to the amount of calories given he will see a gradual loss over time.

    My other bit of advice is, if possible, not to fixate on the number on the scale at all. I weigh every day and log it but it's not for everybody; upward spikes have been as big as ten (!) pounds in the past. As long as the line trends downward over time it's going well, and don't sweat the day-to-day fluctuation. If it's too hard to separate that though, take it back to once every week or two.
  • michelegurr
    michelegurr Posts: 55 Member
    Dixieneedles that is great! That is how I came into this, I had that problem of apparently being in starvation mode! I did the same thing, gained more the less I ate...I have spent the last 30 years or so trying so hard to stay BELOW a target calorie count that trying to get as close to it as possible makes all the difference! As a matter of fact if I don't slow down with how fast it's coming off (8 lbs my first 6 days! ) I'm gonna up the caloric requirement manually so I don't get sick. As a result of my years of misguided diet training, I just can't fathom eating that many calories and losing weight! Appreciate everyone's comments and tips for success!
  • arcticfox04
    arcticfox04 Posts: 1,011 Member
    2900 sounds right. I was losing while around 300lbs doing 3200 calories at a high activity level. Sometimes you don't realize how many calorie you actually ate before you started.
  • michelegurr
    michelegurr Posts: 55 Member
    Thanks all the advice! Yes all of it! LOL I don't care what size he is, love him for the man within. I DO care what shape he's in on the inside and he takes more meds to "STAY HEALTHY" than all of my grandparents combined! THAT is what scares me! The "rewards" are always offered but not always accepted, anyone who's been significantly overweight for any length of time gets why. But I totally get that he's gotta do it for him n no other reason...He's gotta start slow and his progress may be baby steps, the point is to do something, start somewhere. I guess my question on the cal count was more of if he DOESNT eat close to 2900 cals would he go into starvation mode and not lose or worse gain? Guess he can do basically what I did, I this first week tried to stay within the cal range appx 25 cals either way and just see how it went and once I figured that out then begin to figure out the other values such as protein, sugar, sodium, etc, (we just won't have him sweat the cals until we find out what exactly he eats normally.) He's not a computer guy either, but we will tag team the logging! Thanks again for all the help and advice, all of it is appreciated and will be put into practice!
  • Binkie1955
    Binkie1955 Posts: 329 Member
    go low carb and he'll be fine. have him try to the ketogenic calculator reset his MFP goals around low carb and he'll drop the weight.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    .
  • p4ulmiller
    p4ulmiller Posts: 588 Member
    I guess my question on the cal count was more of if he DOESNT eat close to 2900 cals would he go into starvation mode and not lose or worse gain?

    "Starvation mode" is a myth. It really doesn't exist.

    Your husband needs to find a sustainable calorie level that means he is sated, but is at a deficit. 2900 is about right. He should lose about 100 pounds in the next year. That should be about 11 stone by Christmas 2014.
  • Dougf90
    Dougf90 Posts: 95 Member
    I started at 370lbs. I started off focusing on moderation, eating a set diet or certain "diet" foods wasn't something I could do or stick with from the start. I worked into it slowly, he's on the right track by being on MFP. Log everything that you eat, as accurately as possible! Foods that he loves to eat WILL still work, just less of it. It sounds so simple, because it is.

    Exercise: I would ease into it. Being a former big guy, I did. There is nothing wrong with walking until you can get your bearings physically! The first month I did nothing but walk and dropped some weight. I incorporated some very light jogging (speed & duration) while also starting strength training, which I believe to be my biggest key to weight loss. Then you'll be able to do more from there each and every week.

    Basically if he dedicates himself to do what's necessary to get the job done, it's there for the taking. It's exciting once you find that weight loss groove, you feel better about yourself physically and mentally because you know you're doing it right.

    Good luck to you and your husband!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    My hubby wants to do this with me, I've about got him talked into it...even has a MFP account started...he has a lot more to lose than the average guy and a lot more to win, health wise especially! Any tips on supporting a reluctant, inexperienced dieter? And his MFP tells him he can eat up to 2900 cals and lose weight! How do you ingest that many calories, and how can you still lose weight? Any men over 375 lbs have any advice I can pass on to help motivate him?

    I have been using the app for about five months or so and my honey has been watching my progress every step of the way and seeing what I do works. He's overweight, but I never once told him he needed to lose, or tried to talk him into using the app, or anything like that.

    His doctor recently recommended he lose some weight due to health problems. He told his dietician all about what I've been doing, about using the MFP app, and she knew exactly what he was talking about. She calculated his basic metabolic rate and his total daily energy expenditure and told him how many calories to reduce to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. He set his profile up in MFP, started eating within a calorie deficit, and has been losing steadily.

    He said I inspired him to lose weight, and he absolutely loves the MFP app.

    Just continue being an example and if your hubby is ready to lose weight he will either find a way that works for him or he will join you in using MFP. :smile:
  • DonnaJones7
    DonnaJones7 Posts: 99 Member
    You can't do it for him. It's hard to encourage and not judge. The only thing you can do is keep healthy food in the house and focus on doing activities together - and that does NOT mean exercise together. Make dates to go to a park or be outside. Then leave him alone.
    It's too much pressure to have a spouse judging you.
  • shrinkingbrian
    shrinkingbrian Posts: 171 Member
    As a former big guy at 405 pounds (and now at 195 pounds), I think finding the proper motivation to live healthy is key. For me, I was afraid of dying young. I was 38 years old and my grandfather died of a heart attack at age 47 and that is way too young. I knew that I had to make changes. Once you have the right motivation, then it's just a matter of eating right and proper exercise. My kids were also a big source of inspiration for me. I didn't want to die young and leave them without a father. My little boy told me about a month into my lifestyle change "Dad, you're too fat" and this really hit me hard. He was right. I was too fat so I had to change. Now, my wife and I are expecting our third child. My life has changed for the better in so many way after losing 200+ pounds. At first, my wife was not very supportive (probably because she has had her own weight challenges and had some insecurity) but after about a year, she started to want to exercise with me and eat better meals at home. I was a little selfish at times with finding time to exercise but I had to be.

    You might consider cooking healthy meals, having a reward meal once a week with hubby, and exercising together. I really enjoy going on walks with my wife now when our kids are in school or just as a family. We also started playing tennis at local parks and let our kids play on the playground at the park. It's not as intense as my personal exercise but it's good family time and some exercise. We also go on family hikes together. If you call it something besides "exercise" such as let's go for a hike, that can also be good.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    First - baby steps. For God's sake don't let him think he has to eat nothing but lettuce leafs and carrots to lose weight. And he needs realistic goals. He will not be Brad Pitt in a month. Losing at about a pound a week is manageable, and not too taxing. If he throws exercise into the mix, he'll be amazed how much he can eat while still losing weight.

    I lost 60 pounds eating whatever the heck I wanted to - I just learned portion control.

    To start with, he needs to learn to love the scale - the kitchen scale. Everything dry must be weighed, everything liquid either weighed or measured in a measuring cup. Then log it all. Everything. No matter what. Doesn't matter if he's proud of his food diary or not - it's for him only, and cheating is only cheating himself.

    Once he knows how to measure, he'll know what he's consuming. If it's hugely over maintenance levels, he may want to reduce slowly over time. Once he gets his calories consistently under maintenance, he'll start losing weight. If he's not losing weight, he's not under maintenance, period.

    Once he's got the hang of that, he'll want to learn about macro-nutrients. Macronutrients are protein, fat and carbohydrates, and they are all sources of calories. By upping his protein and fat he'll feel less hungry and lose more fat v. muscle while he's dieting. Most people use the rules of thumb of - 1g of protein per pound of lean body mass, 0.35g of fat per pound of total body mass.

    Now you can make sure he's getting enough vegetables, fruit, etc... That'll check the micronutrients box.

    If at this point you want to go the 'lifestyle diet' route, of veganism, eating clean, paleo, etc... then have at it. But know that it's not necessary for weight loss.

    Exercise is not necessary for weight loss, but has massive other benefits. Personally I recommend at least regular walking, and/or taking up a sport like tennis, basketball, etc that keeps him moving. Running not required unless he wants to. Lifting heavy weights will allow him to further improve the ratio of fat/muscle that he loses while dieting, and he will look much better at any given goal weight. I suggest StrongLifts, but that's just because that's what I do. There are loads of good beginner barbell programs out there.

    I think that about covers it.

    This is excellent advice. I started here a year ago with my DH. We've been making this a lifestyle change, and doing it together. It has been positive for both of us. We plan to continue logging every bite for the foreseeable future. We also include our favorite foods in our lives, and count the calories. We've also learned to make some trade offs. I love the family clam dip recipe and still make it for festive occasions. I have stopped eating potato chips in favor of veggies. DH has done this too, because he had a stroke in February and is very careful to avoid added salt. You can do this as a couple, but you're in charge of you and he's in charge of him.:wink:
  • FishingGuy75
    FishingGuy75 Posts: 59 Member
    There are plenty of us on here in a similar situation and even a few guys that have lost more than 200 pounds. If he's not sure he's ready - have him log in and contact us. We can direct him to other guys that can help.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    My binge days I was consuming between 5000-7000kcals. I'm 5'10" and ended up at +360lbs. A simple reduction at that high weight was all I needed to get the ball rolling.

    Best of luck to him. Glad to see he's taking the steps to get control of his health.
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