Look thinner than I weigh

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Emilyloosingfifty
Emilyloosingfifty Posts: 6 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I want to loose 50 pounds and have lost nearly 25 so far. (Loosing 50 pounds will still leave me in the overweight category)

Many people are now describing me as "skinny" or "slim" . I am constantly being told that I dont need to loose anymore weight. I'm technically still considered obese so I am extremely confused by this. I do look much slimmer than I weigh which is quite strange. The other day someone said "you're the same size as your sister" which is laughable as I weigh 30 pounds more than her and we are the same height.

I once had my muscle mass tested at a gym and I was told that I had a good percentage of muscle, but I can't believe that this makes a huge difference to my weight/looks. I do a lot of walking but I don't particularly work out or do weights so I really doubt I'm particularly muscly!

I don't know if it's jealousy/concern/me looking smaller that's fuelling these comments. So I need some opinions please! Should I keep on loosing weight until I get to a health bmi? Or should I stop and listen to everyone who tells me I'm fine?

Replies

  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
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    one of the dangers in todays society that is getting bigger is that we actually lose the ability to judge when someone is a healthy weight, because most often we actually judge by comparison.

    There are other markers then the BMI though. What is you body fat percentage and how does that compare? How do you feel?
  • carlaunderconstruction
    carlaunderconstruction Posts: 187 Member
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    People are funny when they decide to pass judgement about people's size/ weight. Talk to your primary care physican and look at other markers than BMI, waist measurement, hip to waist ratio, and as the previous poster stated body fat %.
  • kitticus15
    kitticus15 Posts: 152 Member
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    Before I started this path to get healthy, my GP looked at me and said I looked fine and healthy, that was till he weighed me and found I was a good 40lbs overweight and well and truly obese, he was shocked, yet when I go down to the correct bmi I feel ill and cold all the time, so it may seem that naturally some of us are healthier a little heavier, so like one of the other posters said, I am working on getting a healthier bodyfat percentage, go with what makes you feel happiest and healthiest :)
  • siegte16v
    siegte16v Posts: 139
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    Everyone says to me I don't look my weight ...and I must have read the scales wrong it does my head in.
    I'm the same weight as my brother in law and he's a big lad goes to the gym and all that stuff and size wise were different but weight the same ? I must be big boned haha
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    People who are around obese people all the time don't know what a healthy weight looks like. Also maybe jealousy if the people making the comments are obese themselves.

    Anytime I tell someone my real weight, they tell me I don't look that big, and I think the fact that most people (especially women, maybe?) lie about their weight has something to do with it.

    I use the BMI to set my goals. I know some people on here insist that it's meaningless, but I think it's a good guideline. Maybe I'm the only person on MFP who isn't and doesn't want to be the special snowflake statistical outlier, but whatever, I'm going to be happy when I reach the normal BMI range, and then I'm going to do my best to get myself toward the lower end of it but no lower.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
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    It seems that as the population is getting bigger and bigger we've lost our perception of what a healthy weight is. I was watching some mindless TV the other day and noticed as they panned the audience that probably 80% of the people were noticeably overweight. It's become the norm to be on the heavier side so if you fall below that you suddenly get labeled as skinny. It's sad that our new normal seems to be about 30 lbs overweight.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I agree with others who have mentioned perception... People tend to get used to what they see around them and perception of what's slim or big gets skewed. Also I don't know what kind of friends you have (if it's your friends telling you this) but sometimes they just want others to be bigger than they are so maybe they're discouraging you. FWIW your muscle mass does make a big difference. I saw a pic once of the difference in volume between one pound of fat and one pound of muscle and the difference is HUGE! Muscle takes up a lot less space, pound for pound.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    There is a perception thing that everyone has mentioned that is a very real phenomenon.

    There is also the fact that people who are different heights than you have no idea how weight sits on you. 10 pounds on someone 5'10 is really different than on someone 5'0". So 30 pounds is not 30 pounds.

    There is also the fact that people who are very muscly can WEIGHT a lot and LOOK slim. Johnny Depp is technically overweight, but obviously not. He's muscly.

    And there's also where you carry it. I carry my weight in my breasts and hips and keep a very slim waist and face. So I look pretty good even when I was overweight. My poor husband, who works out 20 hours/week and teaches tai chi, puts all his weight in his gut. He is rock hard muscle EVERYWHERE but his abdomen. But he looks fat. If the extra 30 pounds he is carrying were distributed differently, he'd look thin.

    Enjoy the comments and keep losing. People told me I looked great 20 pounds back (and I looked fine). But I look and feel much better now with a BMI of 20.
  • Stage14
    Stage14 Posts: 1,046 Member
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    People who are around obese people all the time don't know what a healthy weight looks like. Also maybe jealousy if the people making the comments are obese themselves.

    Anytime I tell someone my real weight, they tell me I don't look that big, and I think the fact that most people (especially women, maybe?) lie about their weight has something to do with it.

    I use the BMI to set my goals. I know some people on here insist that it's meaningless, but I think it's a good guideline. Maybe I'm the only person on MFP who isn't and doesn't want to be the special snowflake statistical outlier, but whatever, I'm going to be happy when I reach the normal BMI range, and then I'm going to do my best to get myself toward the lower end of it but no lower.

    This. I seriously think that society in general cannot accurately tell actual weight by looking at a person. I'm still 20lbs over the high end of normal for my size (lost 10lbs so far) and I get a lot of criticism about how my weight is fine and I don't need to lose any. Even my doctor was shocked when I mentioned my weight loss efforts. He looked at my chart and said "wow, I would not have guessed you were overweight, but you are." That's why aside fro here and my husband, I don't talk about my fitness or calorie counting, etc. it just isn't worth the headache.
  • pinkiemarie252
    pinkiemarie252 Posts: 222 Member
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    When people are used to seeing you one way, they're going to be shocked at how much progress you've made and think you've gone far enough. But this isn't about them, it's about you, your self esteem and your health. Take it as a compliment then file it away and keep doing what you're doing!
  • Emilyloosingfifty
    Emilyloosingfifty Posts: 6 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I think it's probably a bit of everything you all mentioned. I'm going to keep going until I hit a healthy BMI!
  • Jenninscotland
    Jenninscotland Posts: 97 Member
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    I've lived in the UK for about 10 years now and every time I fly back home, I am bewildered by the size of people. I am originally from Mississippi however and my home state is always in the top 2 of the heaviest in the nation - but I fly into other airports initially and still have this impression when taking a look around.

    When my family sees me, they always state that I don't need to lose any weight - although I am well into the overweight BMI range. This has always confused me...and then I take a look around and find that most people must be in the obese or morbidly obese range where I am from, so yes, I might look okay to them.

    I agree with what many have said here, it seems that as society gets bigger, so does our perception of what fat or thin is.

    ETA* - I also agree with what many have said here in that you should do what makes you happy and also maybe ask a health professional just to confirm other ways to measure your health.
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    I think it's a combo. People''s perception, but also how you carry it. I am particularly dense. I'm 5ft 6 and 150 pounds but wear a 4/6. If my Mum weighed what I weigh, she would be a 12/14. Same height, but very different body types. I took a deep water class the other day, and even with my floatation belt I sunk like a stone. Haha! So a certain weight will look different on how you carry it too! It's different for everyone.
  • Pooks1n1Schmoops
    Pooks1n1Schmoops Posts: 199 Member
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    No one would guess how much I weigh either. Really, I have always been told that I am thinner than I actually am. I mean, I'll take it lol. Just say thanks and that you're working to get healthier.
  • generallyme2
    generallyme2 Posts: 403 Member
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    I think it's a combo. People''s perception, but also how you carry it. I am particularly dense. I'm 5ft 6 and 150 pounds but wear a 4/6. If my Mum weighed what I weigh, she would be a 12/14. Same height, but very different body types. I took a deep water class the other day, and even with my floatation belt I sunk like a stone. Haha! So a certain weight will look different on how you carry it too! It's different for everyone.

    This^. I'm a size 4 (women's) now and at 140 lbs and 5ft 6in. I'm very muscular- always have been. I have people telling me that I'm only on mpf to maintain because obviously I don't need to lose weight. But they don't see the layer of fat over the muscles or the fat that's deeper inside that's also unhealthy.
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
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    A large part of it is body composition, as others have said. I'm 5'8.5", 164.8 lbs. Only 2.2 pounds under the line into overweight, yet I'm wearing mostly size 6's.
  • tenilleless
    tenilleless Posts: 88 Member
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    Body composition, where you store the weight, height, etc play a big role.

    I've watched TV shows where they show people the same height as me trying to lose weight and 95% of the time they're 'bigger' then me, but lighter then me, at least at the first glance. I've got tiny ribs/shoulders and forearms, so from the waist up I look small. My butt/thighs/calves/ankles however are huge and have significant muscles from carrying 275-292 lbs around so I've had to fight with people over my weight. My doctor even made me go onto two different scales before she believed I was 5'9.75' and nearly 300 (BMI was 42). I'm wearing 20-22 jeans and L/XL tops.
    My Dad on the other hand is ~180, 5'9 and is the opposite shape as me. He never exercised a day in his life and he wears 30-32 jeans and 2xl-3xl tops. His BMI is 26, but his body fat has to be very high and since he carries it all up top and in view you would never say that his BMI and weight were were so low.
    If you need a further visual I'm shaped like the mom from Dexter's Lab or like a T-rex and he's shaped like Dr. Robotnik or a chicken. :laugh:
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I am 5'7 and wear a any size between a 9 and 14 depending on the make and people don't believe me when I tell them my size.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    Don't listen to them.

    My lovely friends told me I was 'thin' when I really wasn't. It's only now they will admit to their lies, too! :bigsmile:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I want to loose 50 pounds and have lost nearly 25 so far. (Loosing 50 pounds will still leave me in the overweight category)

    Many people are now describing me as "skinny" or "slim" . I am constantly being told that I dont need to loose anymore weight. I'm technically still considered obese so I am extremely confused by this. I do look much slimmer than I weigh which is quite strange. The other day someone said "you're the same size as your sister" which is laughable as I weigh 30 pounds more than her and we are the same height.

    I once had my muscle mass tested at a gym and I was told that I had a good percentage of muscle, but I can't believe that this makes a huge difference to my weight/looks. I do a lot of walking but I don't particularly work out or do weights so I really doubt I'm particularly muscly!

    I don't know if it's jealousy/concern/me looking smaller that's fuelling these comments. So I need some opinions please! Should I keep on loosing weight until I get to a health bmi? Or should I stop and listen to everyone who tells me I'm fine?

    re the bit in bold - actually it does make quite a big difference. Do you know your body fat percentage? If that's in the healthy range, then ignore what the BMI chart says and base your goal weight on your body fat percentage. It's how much fat you're carrying that causes the health risk, and causes you to look fat. If you have a high lean body mass for your height (i.e. more muscle/denser bones than average for your height) then you will look thinner than what you'd think for your weight. If this is the case, then trying to lose too much scale weight to match what the BMI charts said may be bad for your health............. your goal weight needs to be based on your body fat percentage. In fact this is good advice for everyone, although for people with average frames/average amount of lean body mass for their height, there won't be much difference between their body fat percentage ideal weight and their BMI ideal weight........ but for people with significantly larger or smaller frames than average (which would mean having significantly more or less lean mass for their height than average) there can be a big difference between BMI ideal weight and ideal weight based on body fat percentage.... and in these cases you need to go for the one based on body fat percentage. You want to maintain the lean mass that you have, while getting (and keeping) your body fat percentage in the healthy range.

    Leigh Peele's blog has a lot of information about body fat percentage, including a free download on it. This includes detailed info on how to find out your body fat percentage.

    Of course, if your body fat percentage is still in the overfat or obese range, keep losing fat until it's in the healthy range and you're happy with what you see in the mirror.

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