Kind of a serious topic, stalker at work.....

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24

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  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    Buy a gun. And a personal protection permit.
  • NeverCatchYourBreath
    NeverCatchYourBreath Posts: 197 Member
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    bump to see responses.

    I agree with confront next time she comes in and watch out for your significant other being fishy.
  • lynnkieu
    lynnkieu Posts: 67 Member
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    If she comes in again, yes- confront her, but also pull out your cell phone and take her picture, follow her out to the parking lot and take a picture of her vehicle and license plate. This way if anything happens later and she goes any further with her crazyness, you will have a way to identify her to the police. They can find out who she is by looking up her license plate. You might feel a little weird and she might get upset at you for doing this, but it is for your own safety and will also probably get her to back off.

    Good luck and stay safe!

    Side Note:
    One morning my friend and I were out running- super early, like 5am and it was pitch black outside. This car started following us around it really creeped us out. He would turn down a street and then come back and find us again and hit his breaks like he was going to get out. He did this a lot. So I called my husband and described the vehicle to him in case something happened to us. My husband got in his car and tracked us down but we didn't know where the guy was. My husband went to the closest gas station to fill up and the guy drove by us again! I called my husband and told him he was driving towards the gas station that my husband was at. My husband saw him pull up and the guy started filling his car with gas and went inside. Husband took a picture of the guys car and license plate and when the guy came back out he looked up the road in the direction of where we were running. My husband stood 10 feet away from him and just stared him down while he finished getting gas. Guy got in his car and hit the freeway and we never saw him again.

    A little intimidation can be nice.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    You work for a cosmetics counter in a department store? So there are cameras, no? Your HR department should be aware of this and if she shows up, security made aware so they at least have footage of the woman. And HR should be mandating you have an escort to/from the building to your vehicle. If they aren't, they suck.

    Also, Gun. And Pepper Spray. And Rotweiller.


    Or you're over-reacting.

    *shrug*
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    She sounds mentally ill. I'm not certain confronting her would be the right thing to do if that is the case. Perhaps your manager could talk to her on the phone the next time she calls, and tell her that she has been reported to the police, etc.

    Carry pepper spray. Have someone walk you to your car. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    I think maybe you should confront this stalker. Call her out and put her on the spot. It takes a bit of guts to let someone know to their face that they're seriously creeping you out but it might embarrass her into backing off. ( Maybe clear that with your manager first though since it seems likely you'd have to confront her during work hours) Sometimes the best way to deal with an uncomfortable situation is just to face it head on.

    The absolute worst thing that could happen would be that she might act like you're the crazy one. But if the situation is that troublesome, it might be worth the risk of feeling a little stupid.

    Calling and asking for your work schedule is way past the boundary of normal behavior though.

    I agree with confronting her. She hasn't show herself in my department since the calls started. But if I see her I will definitely ask her about it & make sure my manager is around to be a witness in case she does try to turn it around on me.

    This is probably your best bet, but I wouldn't let my gaurd down for a while even after confronting her. That whole situation is just creepy! Hopefully your manager backs you up on this.

    Yes my manager totally backs me up on this luckily.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    that is some freaky ****. do you have security in your store? I would have someone pull her picture up from the surveillance video and give it to security and the cops. that is what I did when we had this girl who stole stuff from my store all the time and when I finally caught her in the act she made some pretty serious threats and hit my manager on the head with her purse. way different situation but they caught her over at the mall a couple weeks later stealing more stuff. that is some pretty weird behavior though.... good luck.

    Wow what a crazy girl! There is security in my store, but they would only have her on video if they were watching my particular dept. during the time she was there. They said they don't have any footage from around that time. They are never any help unfortunately.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    very long shot but are you dating or married, could she possibly be someone involved with your significant other if you have one? Then she might wanna know where you are all the time. Long shot I know but wanted to give you another possible angle. I agree with the confronting, You need to RECORD it though if at all possible, have a coworker secretly start recording if she come around or at least be ready to if you need to.

    I am married & I wondered if that might be the case too. But this girl calls all the time night & day. Times when I know for a fact my husband is busy at work & wouldn't be out around town or anything. All my coworkers are aware & if I see her coming I'm letting security know right away to get her on camera as well as my coworkers.
  • amylite
    amylite Posts: 40 Member
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    and make sure you have a few witnesses hanging around when you do this!

    I think maybe you should confront this stalker. Call her out and put her on the spot. It takes a bit of guts to let someone know to their face that they're seriously creeping you out but it might embarrass her into backing off. ( Maybe clear that with your manager first though since it seems likely you'd have to confront her during work hours) Sometimes the best way to deal with an uncomfortable situation is just to face it head on.

    The absolute worst thing that could happen would be that she might act like you're the crazy one. But if the situation is that troublesome, it might be worth the risk of feeling a little stupid.

    Calling and asking for your work schedule is way past the boundary of normal behavior though.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    I agree - confront her.

    One question though - you stated you don't know her name at all. Does she pay with either a check or a credit card? Or does she always pay in cash? If it's the first one, maybe pull records of payment history (even if your store doesn't have it on file, you should be able to access the info through your bank or merchant service).

    I honestly don't remember. But HR told me the only way they could even look into that is if she was threatening me & the police were involved. If I had known this would happen I would have made sure I got her name somehow.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    Start documenting everything about her, include time and dates of when any contact happened, the names of coworkers who talked to her, etc. If the situation continues to develop those details will help you get help.

    I am, I'm writing down the times & dates of the calls now to see if maybe I can figure out a pattern.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    very long shot but are you dating or married, could she possibly be someone involved with your significant other if you have one? Then she might wanna know where you are all the time. Long shot I know but wanted to give you another possible angle. I agree with the confronting, You need to RECORD it though if at all possible, have a coworker secretly start recording if she come around or at least be ready to if you need to.

    Funny...kinda my first thought too. Why call to see if your at work to NOT come by?

    That's not the case as I told another poster. I think she might be coming by when she knows I'm there & watching me. I'm in such a public place she could be anywhere & I wouldn't know which is the scariest part.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    I know the police can't do anything, but it is good that you have at least contacted them and placed a report. I do think you should continue to contact them as needed. As much as you can try to record and have documentation. Unfortunately the police can't do anything until something bad has already happened, but if you at least have it set up that if something were to happen that you would be able to defend yourself as best as possible, get away, and go to the police with the ability to do something about it (because her identity is known, it's been documented, and it was reported right away). Don't park your car far from the mall. Have someone always walk with you to your car. I would confront her in a public space just to inform her that you know she is stalking you and that the police know as well. Take self defense. Sorry, I really don't know what to do and do not have great advice. These are just some thoughts and potential ideas. That does sound creepy. I mean sometimes teenagers do weird stuff like that, but this is very odd behavior for an adult (it's the phone calls that make it creepy).

    I have done this & just like you said they can't do anything except give me advice. I'm documenting everything & I have someone walk me to my car now when I leave & I am always checking that I'm not being followed. It is very strange behavior for a grown person & I just wish I understood what she is trying to accomplish by doing this.
  • keenercam
    keenercam Posts: 321 Member
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    Has she always used cash for her purchases? I was hoping you might be able to get her name by looking at the credit card transactions for one of the days you sold products to her.
  • DaneDillinger
    DaneDillinger Posts: 70 Member
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    Ok, so in not ONE of these baseless, quick-to-jump-to-conclusion responses has anyone mentioned that said customer may, in fact, be a closeted homosexual woman, and afraid to approach you with her feelings for you. This is probably more likely than the "get a gun or you'll wind up chopped up in a trash can out behind the store" replies. But, again, the virtue of temperance in forum responses is not commonly found on MFP.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    That's really messed up. Do they have recordings of this woman on the store's security footage? If she's phoning you and hanging up that is REALLY weird. If you can figure out her name you can get an injunction.

    No they don't unfortunately, but I'm going to make sure they get her on camera if/when she comes to the counter again. I'll also try to get her name.
  • kgreenRDLDN
    kgreenRDLDN Posts: 248 Member
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    If a co-worker answers and someone asks for you, have them get a name before telling them if you are there or not. Then if they hang up like she has been you have a name. Have you tried *69 to call her back, that may freak her out a little bit too. After a week of info I would call the police again and give them a copy of your information to file with your report. The more information they have the better. What about harassment charges? Your manager can vouch for the harassment part at work.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    Get your CCL. If you see her outside of work-you make sure EVERYONE in that area hears it. Tell everyone you know to keep an eye out for her-and if she makes you uncomfortable-get a coworker to help her.

    I agree & all my coworkers have my back.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    You seem to be doing the right things by reporting this and keeping a record of the odd things.

    If she comes back for more makeup, have someone else help her. See if she does the same thing to someone else.

    If the phone calls continue, it would be good to figure out where they're coming from - phone number and location - if possible.

    Hopefully this will stop and you can resume life as normal and not worry about it anymore.

    I want to, but I don't know if that's possible since it's a dept. store she is calling & then she has to dial my extension.
  • nyla2120
    nyla2120 Posts: 370 Member
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    Definitely record your next encounter with this lady, either in person or on the phone. She doesn't seem to be bold enough to actually be upfront with her intent. My advise would be NOT to be threatening or combative because you never know what will trigger a person to go off. Maybe next time she comes start grilling her on her personal life and don't let her change the subject or switch the topic to you. Some people really just need attention.

    All very good advice, thank you.

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