How do you get rid of the "fear of gain" mindset

I could have written this post myself! I still consider myself too far away from my goal to eat at maintenance, but I think part of that is just the fear that I'm going to gain and gain if I switch too soon? It's all mind games.

I think maybe ease yourself into it?

You don't ever get rid of the mindset completely!

I've been on maintenance for going on two years. Most of my good habits have become a lot more ingrained/automatic, but I don't think I'll ever be able to completely take my eye off the ball and completely relax. I continue to log my meals, use a food scale and I continue to rely on my MFP friends for motivation and inspiration.

It helps that I never 'dieted'. I lost weight through a small calorie cut (250 calories a day) and a moderate exercise program. I took about a year to hit my goal weight (and actually ended up losing 15 more pounds after I hit goal). I don't pay attention to the latest low-calorie foods or diet plans, I just focus on staying active and eating within my TDEE. Most days I eat anywhere from 2000-2400 calories - all 'normal' foods. I weigh in about once a month. It's been very sustainable for me.

Hi Hazel,

For myself, in order to keep the weight off, I think I will be weighing my food portions and counting calories for the rest of my life. (Thank goodness for digital kitchen scales and apps like My Fitness Pal which make this so easy.)

I also realized early on in my journey, that if I wanted to keep weight off I would have to exercise an hour a day six days a week for the rest of my life.

I know that if I keep track of my food intake and my exercise output, I will be able to maintain my new weight. But I have to keep doing this. It's all part of the new lifestyle I've bought into.

As for going off track now and again, at the earliest opportunity, I know I must go back to tracking my eating and exercise. And keep up the weekly weigh-ins so that I can monitor how I am going.

I think that acceptance goes a long way towards beating fear.

All the best to you and keep your eye on that ball :-)

Jane xox

I'm not at my goal yet, but within 10 pounds. I know in the past it was just not exercising and watching portions that made the weight go back on. I switched jobs, no gym, etc. I also never say "diet", I correct people who say "Are you off your diet?" I'm not dieting , it's a change in my old eating habits. I'm not ( I hope) going back to eating bags of chips and crackers in one sitting, nibbling on candy at work mindlessly, having 2 portions of pasta unless it's coupled with a lighter day that week.

The fear I understand, but fluctuations of a few pounds is normal, if you gain 5, and it's not from a source you know (hormones/sodium) then you cut back and lose it before it's 10.

That's my plan anyway, relax the low cal a bit, have days when I let myself have a nice dinner without worry and most important, not stopping the exercising. At my age, 50's, I have to exercise to keep things in check. Thankfully I found some DVD's i like and am always looking for fresh ones to rotate in.

I tried maintenance and just eyeballing this spring/summer and put on 12 pounds. I think once you've been over weight there is no relaxing. I now know that I will have to weigh, watch, count and stand my ground against the battle of calories for the rest of my life.

I think this may be the thing... I don't really know because I haven't gotten there yet; I'm still working on staying the course for weight loss, but perhaps you'll have to apply the same discipline to maintenance. As the aforementioned poster said, there is no relaxing. One would think that after all this logging, counting and learning that we would be able to do it without the aid of things such as MFP, but I think for those of us who have this battle will always have to be vigilant.

Best of Luck to you!

I know exactly how you feel - I try to log all the time even having reached my goal (although last few months have been poor for personal reasons - I actually lost weight in that time!).

My mindset is to have an acceptable weight fluctuation but to have a 'cap' which acts as a trigger leading to a weight loss setting again - the cap being - say - 5-7 lb over your goal weight. This way you're not 'always dieting' but your weight always stays under control.

this isnt a dig at the OP, but to be honest i dont really understand why people are so suprised when they stop logging and stop exercising and put on weight... the whole point of this is to develop a healthier lifestyle - regular exercise and keeping an eye on what you eat. if you do that maintenance is a doddle!

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think it's surprise so much as a disappointment that it's something that still needs to be thought about and focused on, as opposed to being ingrained. As the OP mentioned, it has to do with wanting the feeling of 'being done' with calorie counting; after all, one would think that after 1+ year of counting, measuring and logging that it would be second nature, but no, I guess that's not how it works. (as I said in an earlier post, I'm not there yet, so I'm just hypothesizing)

I read an article recently that described maintenance as not staying at a target weight but as having small and ongoing gains and losses. This really struck a chord with me and has changed how I look at the future.

I will still track everything and weigh myself frequently, but I not stress a little fluctuation because stress equals eating for me.

I also read that the most successful maintainers exercise at least 6x per week and I know that when I have lost weight in the past, the food part was manageable but the exercise diminished.

Setting a weekly exercise goal has helped me keep my focus.

I Agree with mikeyrp. I've been maintaining a 130 pound loss for about 2 years. I still am very aware of everything I eat and exercise regularly. I have cut back on the cardio. I used to do about 6 to 8 hours of that a week. I also lift weights more often to keep my metabolism up. I have about a 5 pound cap on my weight. If it gets too high and my clothes are feeling tight I will automatically go back into weight loss mode and make sure to get that back off. I still record my food intake, just because it's a hard habit to break and it gives me the support I think I need to keep this weight off forever. I think there's always a fear that you may gain your weight back considering how often you hear about this happening. But I think as long as your truthful to yourself about your decisions with food and exercise you will succeed in keeping the pounds off.

This is an interesting thread.

I have recently realized I love maintenance.

Now I have religiously logged practically every bite I've put in my mouth since I've joined, and am on this site several times every day. But I'm not 'obsessed', it's just what I do after I eat. It's a habit without a strong emotional component. But then, I'm 54 and have never tried to lose weight before either.

I lost my weight slowly, but pretty easily. It was tedious because it involved all that logging, but it wasn't hard. I found foods I loved to eat and I ate those. I cut way, way back on the couple of things that were using way too many calories - cheese, large glasses of whole milk, and bread. I shrunk my portions, but ate a quarter cup of good ice cream every night.

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I love maintenance because I have gotten my pedometer (now fitbit) out again and have worked harder at hitting those numbers. I can losen up and have good bread every once in a while and still hit my calories. I still log everything, but am more relaxed. I wake up every morning grateful and happy that I feel thin. I've been enjoying dressing well.

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All of which suggests to me that YOU may already have talked about the things you need to do. You like information. Therefore you know that the research says that most people regain within 6 months. You know the things that predict you will be in the minority of people who keep the weight off:

- daily exercise of probably an hour
- continue logging
- weighing daily or weekly and staying in a tight, narrow band.
- go back onto calorie restriction immediately if you get out of that band
- don't limit types of food - eat food you love. But watch your portions and frequency of high calorie foods. That's what logging is for.

From what you say, I would suggest that you stop focusing on the FEAR and GUILT and WORRY part. Focus on the POSITIVE emotions. It DOES feel really good to be thin. Really ENJOY the food you do eat. One thing I have learned in this journey is that I get as much or more pleasure out of eating small portions of great food than larger portions. The first bite is the best!

I also have learned that it's not worth eating crappy food. I try hard to only eat food I really like. No 'low fat/diet' food that tastes lousy and artificial. Full fat, real sugar, real food. Good meats. Wonderful vegetables. And yes, small helpings of fantastic deserts. Life is too short.

That's what the log is for. To make sure you enjoy yourself, but don't over-indulge. If you are mindful of what you eat, you really will find that savoring what you eat helps you become more satisfied, not hungrier.

hazeljordan, soooo many of your comments ring true with me. I've have yo-yo'd for years but this year for the first time I changed my eating habits and took up running so I'm in a totally different mindset to one I've ever been in before. I'm determined to keep my weight off this time and for it to become a way of life. As they say "it is a marathon and not a sprint" so I shall continue to log my food intake on here and run/use the gym as often as I can. I've never really had a problem losing the weight, but keeping it off was never achieved because I DID adopt the "I don't have to try any more" mentality. But now I know that my journey is by no means over and that this is a battle for life. I'm hopeful that the longer time goes on, the easier and more natural it will become... and the easier I shall feel about things. Rationally I think "You've said 'no' for five months, keep saying 'no'" but there is still a small part of me that fears I'll lose the fight. I think we need to break it down and take it a day at a time for the time being....