I admire people with breast cancer

I am 51, Male. I used to jog 5 miles DAILY, lift weights, DAILY, play tennis DAILY, basketball/football with my son DAILY so I WOULDNT get old and decrepped

4 years ago, just as millions of people wake with a lump in their chest and all of a sudden they have breast cancer(I say people, cause males have it too)

anyway, I woke up(to me) out of the blue TOP HEAVY, couldnt lift my head out of the bed, ER, mri, half my brain was gone, I SAID GONE? can we get it back?

Neurologist gave up, said it was like MS(incurable) Cerebellar Atrophy, Im just wheelchair bound..OH, but hes sooo sorry

I went to Duke hospital..they say its like muscular dystrophy(either way incurable) I dont drink alcohol, do drugs or smoke, so I hate people seeing me look like I do....I kinda gave up, started having pity parties, I got up to 265 lbs!! Ive never been more than 170 my whole life(I know, I know, my mother had an insane tough delivery, )
anyway, I noticed very few people started coming to my parties, so I said WAIT, does he mean NOW or 10 years from now.
? Got off my butt, WOBBLING(like im drunk)) but walking around apts,( hated it at first cause of judgemental neighbors) I didnt want them to see this guy stumbling around their apts. SO luck would have it, theres a private "CHRISTIAN" school behind us, I thought, HEY, ill walk back there, NOONE will see me, I wont "bother" anyone Anyway, ONE week, principal came out and ran me off, said i was scaring the parents. I told him I have cerebellar atrophy, ALONG WITH nystagmus, i see double vison when I look left or right(also incurable) I walk back there to keep to myself...he said well, were private, I can understand school shootings and stuff, but I said I dont even look at the parents, anyway, back to the apts....comments galore from distances, but i kept walking, ive since turned some of those people around

NOW, 3 years ago, I developed what Rheumatologist calls SEVERE rheumatoid arthritis...ok more pain 24/7....kept walking Ive since figured a way to still lift..on a weight machine i can sit down, painful, but i do it(btw, also incurable)

6 months ago, ANOTHER neuro disorder DYSTONIA(yep, incurable) I cant catch the common cold

my right foot turns inwards when i walk so im landing o the right side of my foot, i thought GREAT how in the world do i walk now, ITS OVER..NOPE figured out how to do it...gotta land hard on my right foot cause i have to really concentrate to make my foot land flat I have to swing my leg out, physical therapist says im lucky i havent broken that ankle.They cant make a brace to make my ankle not turn without making my whole leg and foot inoperable..it would atrophy and lose muscle, i said why would i want that? Doc measured my thighs, already right one is one inch thinner than the left, not sure if thats because of this, its all in my right leg, .Ive had sprained ankles, hairline fractures, but i havent missed ONE day RAIN or shine, since jan 1
AND since jan 1 ive lost 80 lbs!!

im back to the 170's..i put 180s to give myself room
I REFUSE to lose!! IM NOT going to be in a wheelchair, IM NOT,, like the commercial says a body in mtion tends to stay in motion while a body at rest tends to stay at rest
plus im afraid if i stop for awhile I WILL wither up, lose my motivation etc.
ive been on here since jan 1, changed my profile a few times to start over with new weight, but ive since put entire weight back up for all to see it CAN be done. MFP has an app, i input it ....every workout, and every food, and after a short while, its a HABIT. My new years goal was AT LEAST back to 200 by my birthday...JULY
Well in july i was in the 190's
My daughter says rain or shine wheelchair or not, when she gets married im walking her down the aisle, singing at her wedding AND dancing her first dance(after the traditional bride/groom dance of course ) so, Im NOT going to let her down, PLUS I dont want to be in a wheelchair, im 51, not 91......I have a pic posted from a year ago with my daughter as nice round ole me, and one recently with the same daughter much thinner, BUT im lifting again too, not john cena power lifting, just staying toned, so, docs never call and check on me, so this is just something i have and i can sit in a corner and cry about it, or keep moving best i can. I dont blame them, theres nothing they can do. I PRAY, I BELIEVE GOD will fix me OR maybe even make me inspire ONE PERSON. Maybe I got this cause he knew i could handle it, maybe someone else couldnt, who knows.
so i admire breast cancer survivors, I KNOW the sudden lifestyle changes, the fear of the unknown, the adjustments..the getting past what other people say..used to really bother me cause i was the picture of health, never heard it, NOW, i know they say who cares what others say, Its still hard, of course I care, and it bothers me, but I forge ahead!! used to have the little girls swooning over me, never counted a calorie in my life, didnt know what one was, i could just jog it off, or ride a bike across town. I could eat ANYTHING. I hate to think of the calories i consumed back when.

one thing ive learned, its SO easy to gain weight, but SO hard to get it back off, and thats if youre HEALTHY

so Im proud of what Ive accompkished. Almost look just like i have a bum leg, can ALMOST look relatively normal, once i get going, i can actually book it now, but i cant stop on a dime so ive had my share of falls too and starting back up i look like one leg must be shorter than the other

Ive also learned people are GENUINELY good but there are still some OMG

when I hear cars coming, REALLY concentrate to stay close to edge and not sway out in road....one time car COMING FROM THE CHRISTIAN SCHOOL WITH kids in tow...pulled quietly RIGHT BESIDE me, laid on the horn, scared the mess out of me, i tumbled over into grass, five cars behind them drove by LAUGHING, one yelled GET A JOB FREAK already had their kids with them coming from the "christian" school. I thought hard about going that night and spray painting over the CHRISTIAN part of their sign, BUT I took the high road as usual, God sees it, he'll take care of them

ANYWAY, thats my story, and im sticking to it