Wearing a red dress to a wedding?

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  • mrslcoop
    mrslcoop Posts: 317 Member
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    I have never heard of a no red rule, but generally I would steer clear of dressing in a way that would up stage anyone in the bridal party. Be that the bride herself or the bridesmaids. Red was the color of my maid's dresses and a groomsman's girlfriend dressed to match. I didn't care one lick as the bride as I was one foot on cloud 9 and the other in lala land, but I did hear A LOT of comments after the fact (and three years later she is still talked about…). She became the butt of many jokes as the "girl in the red dress" which is too bad as she is a sweetheart.

    ETA: To sum up my feelings I say go for it so long as it isn’t the wedding color. It looks good on you.
  • ashliejones13
    ashliejones13 Posts: 51
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    What is wrong with our society? Is everybody supposed to dress in rags to make the bride feel better about herself? I know its a special day, but if everyone's so worried about other girls stealing their shine, maybe they shouldn't have a Wedding. It's not about what people are wearing and who looks best, it's about the love. Just wear the dress, if anyone thinks its wrong be sure to remind them its just a dress.
  • LauraRose03
    LauraRose03 Posts: 140
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    Whatttt???? I've never heard of that rule! and I just wore a red dress to a wedding not too long ago. If it is a rule, it's a strange one! lol. I highly doubt anyone will care. Rock that dress, girl!
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    What is wrong with our society? Is everybody supposed to dress in rags to make the bride feel better about herself? I know its a special day, but if everyone's so worried about other girls stealing their shine, maybe they shouldn't have a Wedding. It's not about what people are wearing and who looks best, it's about the love. Just wear the dress, if anyone thinks its wrong be sure to remind them its just a dress.

    Amen!
  • mommysaeth
    mommysaeth Posts: 10 Member
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    I'm not sure if this was mentioned before, but the only objection to wearing a red dress at any social gathering that i can think of is when the Hostess of the event would wear red to make her easy to pick out. That may be why you received the advice to not wear red to the wedding - because of the old rule where red was the hostesses color.

    Other than that, I would recommend asking the bride and wearing the dress if she oks it and you are comfortable in it.
  • Talako
    Talako Posts: 79 Member
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    I say do as you wish.


    However, the prissy etiquette gestapo thinks otherwise:


    http://www.dressaday.com/2005/05/30/rules-for-dresses-at-weddings-not-rules-for-wedding-dresses/
  • ThatSoundsHard
    ThatSoundsHard Posts: 475 Member
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    Why don't you just ask the bride? I have a dress with a print, about a third of which is white. I just sent a pic to my sister in law to be and asked if it would bother her. She said it was fine and thanked me for asking. Problem solved!

    ETA: And that is a fantastic dress by the way. Truly lovely.

    I'd just do this. Send that pic to the bride to be with a simple "would this be ok for your wedding?" Or something to that effect if you're worried about it.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    i did this once and the bride was P!ssed cause i was the center of attention
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    You know, I never heard of the don't wear red rule and I wore red to my cousin's wedding out of state. Some of the bride's friends (I'd never met them OR her before that day) came up to me at one point and claimed they overheard me in the bathroom badmouthing the bride (I never said anything about her, good or bad -- I don't even think I spoke the one time I was in the bathroom).

    I said something to my mother and she said it was because I wore red that people were being nasty.

    So I don't know. I still don't see the big deal, though that dress looks more suited for a nightclub than a wedding.
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
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    That is a beautiful dress but unless it's a totally non-traditional wedding-you should not wear red- and I would question the strapless part too. (if you wear strapless you should have a shrug or something...)
    Red white and black are three colors that traditionally are not worn.



    I went ot a wedding two weeks ago and wore black and I saw red there too No one seemed to mind A lot of people had on black too
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
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    I had to look up how to spell etiquette.

    Just wanted to add that you're rockin' that dress and you should certainly wear it out somewhere.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    That is a beautiful dress but unless it's a totally non-traditional wedding-you should not wear red- and I would question the strapless part too. (if you wear strapless you should have a shrug or something...)
    Red white and black are three colors that traditionally are not worn.



    I went ot a wedding two weeks ago and wore black and I saw red there too No one seemed to mind A lot of people had on black too
    People wear black to weddings all the time these days, especially evening weddings.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I regularly wear black to weddings.

    My bridesmaid's dresses were black.

    The upcoming wedding I'm the MOH in - Charcoal Grey.

    Stupid rules.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I regularly wear black to weddings.

    My bridesmaid's dresses were black.

    The upcoming wedding I'm the MOH in - Charcoal Grey.

    Stupid rules.
    My BFF got married last time around on the beach in Key West and then had a bif reception a few months later. Those of us who were her "bridesmaids" wore black to the reception. She asked us to because the photographer said it was good for pictures.

    In Key West, we wore black and whote or brown and white dresses with hot pink accents to the ceremony.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    I wouldn't wear red to an Indian or Chinese wedding, because that's the colour the bride wears (in those cultures).

    I've never heard of it in a western "white wedding".

    I think you look va va voom and should GO FOR IT!!!


    Maybe that's what your coworker was referring to? You're more likely to outshine the bride??

    good point...maybe the person who said it was Indian or Chinese.
  • MrsJuli4B
    MrsJuli4B Posts: 27 Member
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    Oh dear! I've never heard of this, and I have a lovely red dress for my sisters wedding in three weeks time. She is wearing white, a colour I would not DREAM of wearing to a wedding, but I thought I would be OK with red. I wouldn't want to wear black either.

    She knows and hasn't said anything so I guess it'll be OK. My mum knows and she can be a bit of a stickler for tradition and she hasn't said anything either!

    I'm just thrilled to be wearing a dress in a size I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing a year ago.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
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    You say it's for an Irish Wedding outdoors, those are always fairly relaxed affairs. You clearly know them (the couple) and them you, so if they'd not stated a dress code restriction, then surely what you deem appropriate can not possibly raise a few eyebrows.

    Ooooooooooooohhhh it's for an Irish wedding outdoors? In that case dress like a leprechaun.










    ...no seriously even just a shawl would be enough to go to church in that. If it's a catholic church. The open bar part I don't know how that affects what you're wearing, if anything it makes the decision easier since you'll probably wearing it for less time.

    Hmmmmm ... Even in jest ~ tasteless. Having a culture isn't cause for mockery. Just sayin'

    ETA: fix quote
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
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    You say it's for an Irish Wedding outdoors, those are always fairly relaxed affairs. You clearly know them (the couple) and them you, so if they'd not stated a dress code restriction, then surely what you deem appropriate can not possibly raise a few eyebrows.

    Ooooooooooooohhhh it's for an Irish wedding outdoors? In that case dress like a leprechaun. ...no seriously even just a shawl would be enough to go to church in that. If it's a catholic church. The open bar part I don't know how that affects what you're wearing, if anything it makes the decision easier since you'll probably wearing it for less time.

    Sarcasm is not a progressive mode of communication regular forum poster MyChocolateDiet. Totally uncalled for and most inappropriate, all too incensed too I might add. Misplaced angst and frustrations garnered directly at me triggered by my neutral mention.

    Your statement has slighted the Irish, not mine@leprechaun.

    It is agreed that the majority of us don't find her dress offensive in support of what many have suggested - a form of a shrug, a jacket, etc.
    HannahJDiaz25 Joined Aug 2012 October 16, 2013 3:20 pm
    That is a beautiful dress but unless it's a totally non-traditional wedding-you should not wear red- and I would question the strapless part too. (if you wear strapless you should have a shrug or something...)
    Red white and black are three colors that traditionally are not worn.

    notnikkisixx Joined Sep 2012October 16, 2013 3:22 pm
    Tone it down with a cardigan and you'll be fine .

    OP October 16, 2013 3:26 pm I was definitely wearing a sweater with it! Just more concerned about the color issue.
    monkey3253 Joined Jun 2013 October 16, 2013 3:39 pm
    It depends on the bride. Some would be fine with it, and some would have your head. I think if you wear a cardigan with it, you should be good to go.
    OP October 16, 2013 3:41 pm Irish wedding with an open bar! It's for a really fun couple, and I honestly don't think the bride would care at all (I wouldn't wear it if I thought she would), I just got concerned with hearing that red is not allowed. I figured posting on here I'd get some feedback from new/soon-to-be brides that would know better than I would.
    777Gemma888 Joined Nov 2012 October 16, 2013 3:43 pm RED is perceived as a colour that attracts a lot of attention. A show-stopping colour. Some might consider it rude and tasteless to wear anything that would take the attention from the bride. How close are you to the bride? An option would be to ask her, if she is alright with you adorning the solid colour and cut.

    Would it be alright? Depends on the dress code. Many modern brides would not mind. A fitted cocktail dress jacket or shrug would certainly tone it done some ~ not by a lot ~ some. I still do not believe that you should make yourself look dowdy though.

    Good luck!!

    ETA: A long jacket might work too@ achieving a more conservative respectful look ~ for a traditional wedding.
  • AndiGirl70
    AndiGirl70 Posts: 542 Member
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    Unless its a high society wedding where stuffy etiquette and old school rules of fashion are more likely to be followed I say go for the red dress! Its a tasteful dress that will not upstage the bride. I'd throw on a chunky necklace & bracelet and skip the shrug/sweater/jacket. Weddings are a celebration, have fun, wear red, dance the night away. Enjoy!

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