Ouch...but I asked for it!

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littlexbug
littlexbug Posts: 13
in Health and Weight Loss
One of our regulars came in and told my co worker (who probably is 110lbs), "I need my back cracked, will you walk on my back."

Now I like to make jokes....at my own expense....and I said, "what about me, you don't want ME to walk on you." He replied, "no, I don't want my back broken!"

Ouch....didn't realize how much that got to me. I shouldn't complain....I mean I did open up the chance for him to say something like that. But it still got to me. I try to stay positive...and just use this experience to motivate me to keep going....but it's hard to let comments like that go...ya know?

Has anyone made a joke at your own expense, and the felt humiliated? What did you tell yourself? How did you "let it go"?
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  • danika2point0
    danika2point0 Posts: 197 Member
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    Wow! That's a pretty horrible thing he said to you! Even if he was joking, it's super insensitive. Try and think about a nice thing someone has said to you before or your positive attributes. I find that when I dwell on something negative, I just get worked up and bitter. Keep your head up x
  • littlexbug
    littlexbug Posts: 13
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    Thank you so much for the encouragement! :)

    I keep telling myself that it's just one person and I'm not going to let one person screw up my progress or make me feel like crap. I'm like you, when I dwell on something negative, I do become bitter. It takes a bit of effort to let that kind of stuff go, but the effort is worth it in the end :)

    Thank you again. I really appreciate it :)
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    He sounds like a knobhead. He was probably attempting to flirt with your co worker & his lame response was his level of 'wit'. If it wasn't for the fact he was a customer. I'd probably have offered to stamp on another piece of his anatomy for him instead then. As the other poster said just don't let it drag you down. I always tell myself its "different horses for courses". I've heard everything from people saying I'm very attractive - to basically I'm a bit of a dog. However, I just think well they can think/say what they want but whose to say their right? It's how you feel about yourself that counts & self confidence is a wonderful thing. Don't let it mess with you.
  • littlexbug
    littlexbug Posts: 13
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    Thank you hun. :)

    I like the idea of "different horses for different courses." It's true that I can't expect everyone to like me, and you are totally correct in saying, "who's to say they are right." That's great insight!

    Thank you, I'm grateful for your input!
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
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    You're not even BIG! I weigh more than you do and I walk on my husband's back. That guy cracking jokes is just a wimp.
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
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    When I was 16 I was with some family and we were outside in the summer -- we all needed to put on sunblock and someone said to me, "Let the rest of us go first, you have waaaay more surface area to cover and we won't have any left!" He was totally serious - he was not joking, laughing or otherwise. I was so humiliated.
  • blueboxgeek
    blueboxgeek Posts: 574 Member
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    I'd have had to come back with something like "wimp..... can't deal with a real woman on top of you huh?!"

    Honestly I do the same and make jokes at my own expense, I think it's a self esteem thing. I do it even if someone compliments me, they will say ohhh you have lost weight and my immediate response is "yea but got a LONG LONG way to go". I don't really know why I do it :(
  • SamMorBelsmom
    SamMorBelsmom Posts: 164 Member
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    You're not even BIG! I weigh more than you do and I walk on my husband's back. That guy cracking jokes is just a wimp.

    All of this! Seriously, unless the guy himself only weighed 110lbs. What an *kitten* hole! One this my husband has taught me, because I am just like you, I like to make other people laugh at my expense, he told me that if its going to hurt too much, then hold back and let someone else make fun of themselves. And I have caught myself doing that. When I am in a good mood and feel like super woman, I crack all the jokes about me that you can think of. But when I am having a bad day, I sit back and think, this isn't good for me today. Took some practice but it does help. And you just have to roll it off your shoulder. A man like that, making big comments and being rude, is probably making up for lack of his second head. Smile next time and say, this is a gym, not a chiropractic office.
  • weaving2fast
    weaving2fast Posts: 64 Member
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    Wow, that hurts. You opened up the door for that one but they didn't have to step in. Don't let them keep you down.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Next time, don't fish for compliments if you can't handle the backlash
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
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    Put it into context. is he normally kind of mean-spirited that looks for any opening and this was par for the course, or was this a normally decent person that took a joke somewhere that it didn't need to go?

    Either way, don't take it personally, some people are simply not funny and your weight is fixable.
  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
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    Next time, don't fish for compliments if you can't handle the backlash

    QFT. You asked for this. He was probably joking. A woman your size isn't going to break anyone's back!
  • HisSweetGirl
    HisSweetGirl Posts: 3 Member
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    This makes me think of an incident a LONG time ago (like 20 years) where a friend and I were eating in a food court at a local mall. She was smaller than was, but not a tiny girl. Some teenage boys were at a table close to us, and I heard one comment, "Fat people shouldn't be seen in public." Almost without thinking, I responded, "Stupid people shouldn't breathe either, but you don't see me complaining about you using up my oxygen." His buddies just about fell out of their chairs laughing.

    I don't know what I would have done in your situation. I might have told him that it hurt my feelings. He won't know otherwise, regardless of whether you think he should or not. Often times, I tell people what they said wasn't nice or was hurtful. Either way, let it go. Be content with who you are. Your weight is NOT who you are! Keep on keeping on, you are doing GREAT.
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I never ask to walk on people's backs or to be picked up and carried for this specific reason. if you don't want someone to comment on your weight, then don't ask questions involving it. simplez
  • nytrifisoul
    nytrifisoul Posts: 500 Member
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    This reminded me of this time my father and I were eating at this diner we used to goto and a waitress my father had not seen in awhile was there. My father looked at her belly and asked her when she was due, she looked confused and said due for what, and walked away. We never went back there since.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You know, like you said, you opened yourself up for that. It's not that he wasn't wrong for saying it, but I think the more important thing here is to work on the part of yourself that thinks it is okay for you to set yourself up for that type of ridicule. I mean, you put yourself down first, and basically told him it was okay for him to treat you as badly as you treat yourself. Why would you do that?
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    He didn't make a joke at your expense; you did. He just consigned it.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    I would have said the same thing, it's actually kind of a tame reply compared to what I could have said in the moment!
  • nytrifisoul
    nytrifisoul Posts: 500 Member
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    I would have said the same thing, it's actually kind of a tame reply compared to what I could have said in the moment!

    I know, people are too sensitive these days. If she wasnt a female i would have said grow a pair.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    I remember when I was slight and all the guys wanted me to walk on their backs. I weighed about 100#'s and I also recall the point in time when I became to big to sit on my husband's lap :sick: It. Was. Humiliating.

    Now that I've been steadily dropping, it appears I've entered the alternate universe where I'm small again. I'm only 5' tall too, so that has a lot to do with it.

    Yesterday, A very large (think fee fi fo fum) 6+ foot tall, upwards of 275# man with a booming voice expressed disbelief when he asked me if it was me who walked a particularly large Choc. Lab. She probably weighs somewhere in the neighborhood of about 115# and is exceptionally long in body length. So much so that she is unable to back up :blushing: She has to be led around in a circle like a horse :laugh: She pulls like crazy by the way, if you allow her to.

    I had to laugh at the look on his face when his eyebrows met his hairline, as I said that it was I who walks her regularly & that no, she doesn't pull me down the block.

    To be fair....he had quite a snootful :laugh: :blushing:

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