New here and looking for diet help. :)

bump.

Thanks for your advice.

I can't have any unprocessed fruits and vegetables as I can't have any excess fiber. Here's what I can't eat or it causes bloating/nasty feeling/stomach upset:

Whole-wheat or whole-grain breads, cereals and pasta
Brown or wild rice and other whole grains such as oats, kasha, barley, quinoa
Dried fruits and prune juice
Raw fruit, including those with seeds, skin or membranes, such as berries
Raw or undercooked vegetables, including corn
Dried beans, peas and lentils
Seeds and nuts, and foods containing them
Coconut
Popcorn

I can eat:
Enriched white bread or rolls without seeds
White rice, plain white pasta, noodles and macaroni
Crackers
Refined cereals such as Cream of Wheat
Pancakes or waffles made from white refined flour
Most canned or cooked fruits without skins, seeds or membranes
Fruit and vegetable juice with little or no pulp, fruit-flavored drinks and flavored waters
Canned or well-cooked vegetables without seeds, hulls or skins, such as carrots, potatoes and tomatoes
Tender meat, poultry and fish
Eggs
Tofu
Creamy peanut butter — up to 2 tablespoons a day
Milk and foods made from milk, such as yogurt, pudding, ice cream, cheeses and sour cream — up to 2 cups a day, including any used in cooking
Butter, margarine, oils and salad dressings without seeds
Desserts with no whole grains, seeds, nuts, raisins or coconut.

I can get away with super small portions of the no-no foods; a cup or two of popcorn won't kill me, but I'll feel bloated and have minor cramps until it passes. Un-cooked/processed fruits and vegetables can cause serious gastric distress. I have severe Irritable Bowel Syndrome and I'm also Lactose Intolerant to a minor degree: you will never catch me drinking a glass of milk or eating a pint of ice cream but I can get away with a very small helping of Macaroni and Cheese and a slice of cheese on a sandwich without too much issue.

I've tried my own Potato and Sweet Potato chips and have a microwave chip cooker (no oil at all). I like it, but they aren't super crunchy. They are good for a quick fix, but they start to get stale after a day or two, so I can't make a big batch all at once. I take tons of vitamins to help out with what I can't get naturally from food.

I do turkey patties; I can never season the veggie patties to taste palatable and the ones from the stores near me (I live in the country) are too high in sodium to be worth it. I grind my own turkey for burgers, meat loafs, and chili's.

I guess my issue is variety. I'm eating mostly from the carbohydrate section of the food pyramid and nothing else. To get a sweet fix, I might have a glass or two of a sweet wine or have a piece of dark chocolate, but I miss eating dried apricots and gorging myself on a salad. I also add a lot of non-healthy things to food to get them to taste different.

Everyone I know who's on a low residue diet is super thin and can keep the weight off, but unless I am doing medium to high impact aerobics for hours every day, the starchy carbs go straight to my thighs and stomach and are impossible to get off.

Set a calorie limit (either through TDEE or let MFP set one for you) and stick with it.
Just because you have to limit your fiber intake does not mean you have to live off of starchy carbs. Up your protein to help you stay fuller longer without the fiber and go for foods with the good fats to feel satisfiedTry buying a steamer basket for a stock pot and steam fresh or frozen veggies. I can't hardly do raw or undercooked veggies either because it upsets my acid reflux, but I can steam frozen veggies in under 10 minutes and be fine. Full fat yogurt and cheese are both easy snacks that fill you up.

Weight loss is calories in vs calories out. If you stick to a calorie deficit you will lose weight, regardless of what you eat.

I have a bamboo steamer and I steam or sautee veggies until almost mushy. I do lots of chicken/turkey through the day. Greek Yogurt is my new passion and I use different extracts to flavor it. Can't do cheese in a snackable portion. I get so bored with my baked/boiled chicken, mushy veggies, and white rice dinners that I use my snacks to get some variety, but like today, I punted my caloric intake by over 400g by having an extra popcorn snack and two beers after dinner.

I miss how a high fiber diet made me feel so full without being full of calories, but my body can't handle it anymore.

I'm going to have to. I added Tofu to my diet and I wasn't dissapointed as I thought I was. It's a blank canvas that I get to play with, so that was good. I have a great Tofu burger with Mandarin Orange sauce...yummy!

Curry is awesome and I have single sized portions in my freezer to re-heat. I also do a lot of soups and sandwiches.

Mains aren't really my problem as I can have almost any protein as long as it's cooked correctly...the hard part is with my schedule, it's just easier to bake a dozen chicken breasts and freeze them, then I pull one out for dinner every night and it comes to temp while the rice and veggies are cooking.

I really need help with good snacks.

Thank you for all the fantastic advice!!!