Lack of support from friends and family

I actually get this a lot from family members. A recent example, my mom who is the same height as me but probably 20 lbs less told me I can't lose anymore weight or I'll look sick. Um, I'm still 50 lbs more than what I want!

Family reunions are the worst. There are some people in my extended family that I really don't care for. One particular person is roughly 300 lbs. During my freshman year of college I gained 20 lbs (up to 185). When I seen her at reunion that summer she would not stop making fun of me for gaining weight. Worst part - when she was my age she was a stick.

I don't tell anyone I log on here either. I already get people telling me I'm obsessed as well. That would add fuel to the fire. What I've noticed though is some of those people calling me obsessed are starting to ask advice. They don't like it when I tell them counting calories.

Ultimately, I live by "You didn't tell me what to eat or when to exercise when I was fat, you don't get to tell me now that I'm getting healthy."

Something I have found useful is saying "my BMI is in the overweight range" rather than "I am overweight". It's a more scientific precise definition that people cannot disagree with. I had a friend who, trying to be nice, said I didn't need to lose weight. I told him my BMI, and he said it surprised him, but fair enough if I want to lose weight

I try saying that too but then people start telling my how inaccurate BMI is and how our family has never fit on that scale. Um, maybe because we're all overweight?

I'm thinking maybe it's because my friends and family aren't really the athletic kind, and more of less half of them are overweight.

Could it be jealousy? Or am I really obsessed? Maybe it's because they're used to see me eating more than my actual needs?

What's your opinion on that? What's your personal experience?

From how you've presented it you're not obsessed. Change is hard to deal with- and you changing yourself for the better forces them to change how they see you.

I would also think that they might be jealous- not of how you look, but jealous that exercise/being healthy is taking you away from them.

It sounds like you've added quite a bit of exercise to your life- which is wonderful, but be thoughtful about if this has effected your interactions with your family and friends. If your spending more time getting in shape then by default your spending less time doing other things.

-Personal experience: I was looking at some crackers and checking the nutritional label but decided against it. When my mother asked why I put them back I told her that the Carbs were too high per serving and would be difficult to fit my MACROs.

She went into this rant about how I didn't need to watch what I eat because I'm not fat.

I told her it wasn't about losing weight- it was about being healthy.

When we reached the cash register I was about to pick up some chocolate but didn't as I'm not supposed to have any for medical reasons. My mother loudly sighed, rolled her eyes, and told the clerk helping us that "She thinks she's fat".

I was so shocked and embarrassed. I did/do not think I'm fat. I am a healthy weight and BMI. My goal is to gain more muscle mass. I told both my mother and the clerk that I did not think I was fat- that I'm not supposed to have chocolate and that out of all people, my Mother, should know that.

-Since the above incident my mom has taken an interest in her own health and now is learning about TDEE/MACROs and all of that. She is supportive of me wanting to be healthy and seems to understand that it's not because "she thinks shes fat"

Sounds to me like you've found something that you are passionate about and makes you happy and you want to share that with other people. Also, if you can't share things like that with your friends and family, who can you share them with? And as far as being obsessed, unless you are skipping out on your responsibilities (which sounds like you are NOT), then no, you are not. Reading that you jog at 10PM to not interfere with your family schedule says so for sure!

I can relate: I have picked up the running bug this summer, and I posted a bunch of stuff on my FB wall about me finishing my first half marathon just recently and then after I posted a pic with the status of "Last one, I swear" , my wife's relative (who's only a few years older than me) replied with (I'm paraphrasing here) "Don't apologize for talking about your accomplishment, you should be proud. I wish I had that determination." That made me feel real good, because I felt like people didn't want to hear any more. My wife herself has said she tunes me out a little. But with me, if I get a 'hobby' going, I dive right in, and I don't talk about much else. Man you should have heard me pontificate on online poker when I did that ....... Haha!

But , I think you're right about one thing , some people may not want to hear it because they don't have the motivation but would like to do the same.

Either way, just know that there are places like MFP where you can 'talk shop' and get support. Even if you can't in your physical world ... I'm looking to get past 170 lbs & out of "overweight" BMI myself.

as someone posted earlier -- "Don't apologize for talking about your accomplishment, you should be proud."

The criticism you are hearing is "Health Shaming". If they can shame you about being fit and healthy, they won't feel bad about being out of shape themselves.

I understand why they are doing it. They may not even be doing it on purpose. It is easy to fool oneself and feel that you are not "that fat" when everybody around you is also overweight. Heck, I realized I was doing this when I made a couple of jokes about how I like going to Costco cause it made me feel skinny. At the same time i was working in the city where people tend to be thinner than they are in the suburbs. It was then I noticed I was/am indeed really fat and needed to take some action. I just never realized how fat i was when the vast majority of all my coworkers, friends and neighbors where also overweight (in the suburbs).

I have lost a few pounds... and some of my friends and neighbors are saying i am looking "skinny". In some ways it is funny because it will be many more months before I am no longer OBESE and just overweight. I know they mean well -- BUT i also hear them use "skinny" as a pejorative with folks who are HWP (or just a little overweight).

Good luck and good health to you!

If you really think what they say to you is non supportive or negative just imagine what they say when your not around. Keep that in mind as you evaluate your relationship with them. Some people just love a good train wreck, don't make it at your expense.

Hi everyone, thanks for all those comments - negative or positive. Some really motivated me, while some make be reflect.

Some of you are right - I may talk about it a little too much. I'm the voluble kind. Whenever something happens to me or in my life, I talk about it to everyone around me. I may have overdone it. Some people may be sick of hearing about it, while some may simply be jealous because they lack motivation to actually do something about their own health.

Next time, I'll just wait for people to ask me about it... They're all aware about my journey in the end

And some have mentioned I may put people second... I don't. I usually go jogging when my girlfriend and kids are asleep (around 10-10.30 PM) because getting fitter and healthier is my own decision and they shouldn't suffer from it.

The sentence to remember is: Obsessed is a term that the lazy use to describe the dedicated. Thanks bethanytowell!

I admit, I talk about it too much too. It's usually when I'm excited after seeing an improvement or progress, and usually to my husband. I know it doesn't interest him, lol, but IDC, he's my husband, and should support me. I know he is happy with how much my body has changed, so unfortunately for him, he gets to hear all the details too. :happy: