GET MY WIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

245

Replies

  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    If you want to do the ultimate, get her pregnant, then divorce her.


    That sounds good, I was just gonna say divorce her.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Flour in her hair dryer.
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
    Crack eggs into her shoes and boots!

    That is a divorce-able offence...
  • JamiesMummyX
    JamiesMummyX Posts: 37 Member
    Flour in her hair dryer.

    This, or talc powder so she atleast smells nice when she's killing you.
  • willtrainforchocolate
    willtrainforchocolate Posts: 38 Member
    Hmmmmmmmm. Jelly beans......... gaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.

    :drinker:
  • nathalier71
    nathalier71 Posts: 570 Member
    Steal all the towels when she is in the shower and leave only toilet paper to dry herself with.
    OMG! That's too funny!!
  • Chellody22
    Chellody22 Posts: 95 Member
    I used to sneak into the bathroom and pour a glass of cold water over my hubby's head while he was showering. This was in revenge to him always turning the water to cold while I was showering.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Squirt in her eye...
  • bluesy8899
    bluesy8899 Posts: 68 Member
    Wait until she is in the shower, take an ice cold glass of water and dump it on her. I used to do this and it got maximum paybacks!
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    Re lace all her shoe laces so they tie at the bottom of her shoes.
    Bag up all her best clothes. Hide them & say you gave all the old clothes to charity collectors.
    Buy some cream for a contagious disease. Squeeze a bit out of the tube & leave it in the medicine cabinet.
    Buy a load of cheap white clothes from the charity store. Dye them pink & leave them in the washing machine. Tell her you did the laundry & you washed her work clothes/kids clothes.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    dip her tampons in jalepeno juice and reseal them
  • bepeejaye
    bepeejaye Posts: 775 Member
    Lots of cheeky people in here! lol!

    I'd say to be careful as well....think about safety too...example, pranks in the bathroom...wet floor, slipping, lots of things that you or she can fall over and hurt yourself....embarrassing her in public...and also the prank extremes.

    I would say do something out of the ordinary - something nice. Something that she would never expect you to do.
    Now that would be confusing! :)
  • thelifeilove1
    thelifeilove1 Posts: 195 Member
    First of all, I really don't think she'd appreciate any of the above jokes. If it creates a mess, it's not going to be appreciated, as she'll then have to clean it up. My husband is a perennial jokester. Of all the ones he's ever pulled on me, the most memorable was opening the pantry closet door to find a large rubber rat with a trap on his tail. This after I'd found some mouse droppings and made him set a trap.

    You could also have fun with her next gift by wrapping it funny. Once Larry gave me a piece of jewelry hidden inside a garbage bags filled with balloons made to look like a body bag. Have also gotten gifts with bricks in them and boxes of nails.
  • hopefaithlove24
    hopefaithlove24 Posts: 454 Member
    I used to sneak into the bathroom and pour a glass of cold water over my hubby's head while he was showering. This was in revenge to him always turning the water to cold while I was showering.


    THIS^^^^^^^^ I do this all the time to get him back:)
  • htimpaired
    htimpaired Posts: 1,404 Member
    dip her tampons in jalepeno juice and reseal them

    I wonder if this could be considered assault. Ayeeeee!

    Hide under the bed and grab her ankles when she sits on it.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    When a scary movie is going on, go outside and scratch the window screen. It freaks my kids out every time.
  • TX_RattleSnake
    TX_RattleSnake Posts: 94
    don't flush your dumps.

    Just lay out a steamer in the tub
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Pimp Hand.
  • TX_RattleSnake
    TX_RattleSnake Posts: 94
    glitter in the a/c vents of her car
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Clip a clothes peg on the back of her dress or jacket as she leaves the house, people will think she buys all her clothes off the peg!

    Works best if she's going somewhere special or giving a presentation at work!

    Confused. Don't most people buy 'off the peg', ie pret a porter? There's hardly a stigma to it!
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Divorce papers?
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    Clip a clothes peg on the back of her dress or jacket as she leaves the house, people will think she buys all her clothes off the peg!

    Works best if she's going somewhere special or giving a presentation at work!

    Confused. Don't most people buy 'off the peg', ie pret a porter? There's hardly a stigma to it!

    I just thought "oh they'll think she took it off the washing line in a hurry".
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    Rohypnol
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    How about giver her the "shocker"
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member

    Reprogram the tv parental locks so she cannot get to her favorite channels..

    Leave empty boxes of her favorite foods in the cupboard

    This would be so annoying!
  • evans72002
    evans72002 Posts: 89 Member
    Tape the sprayer handle down on the sink and point it toward her. The next time she turns on the faucet, she'll get soaked.
  • BobMcCloskey
    BobMcCloskey Posts: 117
    Re-arrange all of her clothes in her dresser drawers. IE... move her panties and bras to a different drawer.

    When she puts her purse down, move it to a different spot, in a different room of the house. Works with her cell phone too.

    Put fake tics or some other type of fake bug on her side of the bed, under the blankets. Fake bugs in the shower, or in the sink in the bathroom.

    Giant rubber snake curled up in the toilet.

    Freeze her side of the bed. (This requires a big bag of ice, make sure it doesn't leak,) I used a couple of Glad gallon size freezer bags. Put the ice on her side of the bed a half hour before she goes to bed, and make sure you are able to remove it before she goes to bed, without being seen, obviously..

    Wait till she falls asleep, then put an ice cube down her pj's.

    Call her someone else's name when you are making love to her.
  • mmckee10
    mmckee10 Posts: 405 Member
    the dumping thing really does'nt phase us women.. we have to sleep in the same bed with your smelly *kitten* lol

    put cling film over the toilet bowl and put the seat down :wink:

    OMG Doing this to the boyfriend later!!! hahahahahaha!
  • Irenaekl
    Irenaekl Posts: 116 Member
    It is your great wisdom that I seek.


    I would like to counsel with all the great people on MFP. You see, my wife is always turning the cold water on me when i shower or trying to hide and scare me. I would like it very much if you all could give me some playful ideas to get her back!!!!!!!!!!


    Cold showers are good for you!!!!! :D LOL
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Good for one for this time of year with Halloween decorations everywhere. Get one of those scary plastic pictures that cling to windows, put it up, close the curtains and then come up with some reason for her to open the curtains. My husband did this to me a couple years ago. Found some scary ghosty/ghoul window cling, put it up on one of our bedroom windows then mentioned something about the backyard while we were in the bedroom so I opened the curtains to check out what he was talking about and EEEEEK! LOL

    Here's a link to an examples
    http://www.discounthalloweencostumes.com/search.aspx?q=window+cling

    Another good one he tried to pull on me the other day - a friend borrowed his truck right before I arrived home so it looked like he wasn't home and Hubs hid in the bathroom to scare me since I usually go there as soon as I get home. But I happened to not need the loo that day so I foiled his plan. He tried sneaking out to the kitchen to scare me while I put away the groceries I picked up on the way home but the floor is creaky so I heard him coming. It was a good plan though - I probably would've peed my pants if I had headed to the loo with a full bladder and had him jump out at me!

    One of my favorites is the kitchen sink sprayer. Put an elastic around the sprayer so it holds down the trigger and make sure it's facing the right direction. When she goes to turn the kitchen faucet on, she'll get soaked!

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