Maybe I dont want this.....

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ViktoryaC
ViktoryaC Posts: 124 Member
in Motivation and Support
SO I've been on MFP for a while,a couple months, having joined after being stunned to discover that I had gained 50 pounds and 12 inches around my waist in one year. Since then, drumroll please, I've gained 12 more pounds and two more inches around my once thin, now fat and soft, waistline. I have lots of supportive friends. I know, intellectually, what I need to do. I know what has made me fat. But each day, I wake up with the best of intentions, and then I eat 4 donuts. Or an entire pizza for myself. Or eat at a "all you can eat" buffet. And then I hate myself for not making progress, and eat some more. It's simple.....over the past 18 months, after being thin (heck skinny) my whole life, I;ve become a binger. I cant, make that wont stop myself. And my body reflects who I am right now. I don't like it, but I just don't seem ready for change. Maybe I need to sort out the rest of my life first, then try again.....:cry:
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Replies

  • awackywabbit
    awackywabbit Posts: 10
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    I think you do want this why else would you put yourself out there in this post? You just need some support. You can do it.

    If you wait for life to sort itself out you'll never start because life never seems to get easier.

    The key is just making that decision in your head that you want to do this and then just doing it. You don't wake up suddenly one day and gain 50lbs and you won't wake up suddenly one day and be 50lbs lighter. There is a journey that takes you to both of those places. The decisions you make everyday determine which way you end up going.

    So just start today and decide that you do want this and then take 1 step in the right direction. If you repeat that same decision everyday one day you will wake up and weigh less and then maybe you'll realize you really wanted it all along you just had to start!
  • jdonato27
    jdonato27 Posts: 4
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    I'm really sorry to hear that. I think we've all been there to some degree: you swear you're ready to make a change, but when it comes time, you just don't have the motivation. For myself, I have to reach the point that I can't take it anymore. That step has come from looking in the mirror, going to the beach, feeling sick after engorging myself on fries and pizza, from seeing someone I could look like if I tried, from actually researching what I'm eating, etc etc. but it's different for everyone. It does help to have a workout buddy, or someone to remind you about your goals. But if you're not ready, then you don't care. Saying "ah ah, eating that donut will make you gain weight" won't motivate you if the desire to eat the donut overpowers the desire to be healthy.

    Maybe if you try doing something very small and manageable each day? Just something that can help you prove to yourself that you CAN make the change, even though it is small. Then you can step up from there. Being healthy is worthwhile enough that even if it takes you 3 years of slowly implementing small changes, it's better than continuing along the unhealthy path. If you drink 3 cups of coffee a day, try replacing one with tea. If you're used to eating 4 donuts for breakfast, try 2 and an apple. If usually you drink orange juice from a bottle, try getting a handful of oranges and juicing fresh. You can set a goal to make one tiny change per week, or every other week, and eventually you may feel motivated to make bigger steps.

    Don't be so down on yourself...getting disheartened is really easy. But ultimately, just try to keep in mind that everything you consume that is not healthy is digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. I really wish you the best of luck with all this! Keep your chin up :)
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Or maybe you just haven't figured out a good enough reason to change...

    I was obese for most of my adult life - from age 18 to age 37 - and I tried a whole bunch of different ways to lose weight but they never worked long term. Reason #1 was that I didn't have a good enough reason to lose weight. I wanted to be "skinny" and wear cute clothes or look better for a reunion or a wedding - and honestly those just aren't good enough reasons, in fact they could even be called shallow. Reason # 2 was because I thought I had to live on "diet" food like salads and shakes and all that crap I hated.

    Solution to reason # 1 was realizing that I had to change for my health and for longevity. I didn't want to go on cholesterol meds and I didn't want to lose my mobility. I had been on vacation with some friends shortly before finally decided to lose the weight once and for all and I was huffing and puffing so bad just from walking around it was shameful. I knew I had to change in order to live the life I wanted to live.

    Solution to reason # 2 was realizing that I could eat the foods I loved, within reason (portion control) and with some minor tweaks. And I didn't have to make separate food for me and Hubs, who has very minimal interest in eating healthier. i still have pizza or chinese every week and enjoy all the foods I eat.

    If you exercise at all, think of it as a way to earn the treats you want to have. If you walk a mile, that's worth a chocolate chip cookie. If you walk two miles, that's worth a serving of ice cream. If you walk three miles, that's a donut.
    Thinking this way can also deter you from eating these things. Like - holy cow, I'd have to walk three miles to earn that donut, is it really worth it?

    I also find thinking about how food makes me feel can deter me from eating treats. I may really "want" that cookie but is it going to really satisfy me as well as some yogurt and fruit would? Nope...it sure won't.

    I'll be honest, sometimes these tricks work and sometimes they don't but the point is, you have to start retraining the way you think about food. You can do this - trust me.
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/weight-loss/MH00025 This is a pretty good article on how to overcome emotional eating. You CAN do this!!! I have been overweight since elementary school. I'm almost to goal now, and at a healthy weight. If I can do this, anyone can!!! Start with small steps, and get rid of the junk in the house, and replace it with healthy fruits, veggies, and other healthy snacks. If you're ready to get serious about your health, and need encouragement, feel free to add me. Good luck to you.
  • ViktoryaC
    ViktoryaC Posts: 124 Member
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    Thanks everyone...I'm just so embarrassed at what I've become.....tomorrow is another start....
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
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    Thanks everyone...I'm just so embarrassed at what I've become.....tomorrow is another start....

    Don't be embarassed. And start today :)

    In order to start you need to not only have motivation but believe that you can do it and that you are worth putting work into. Don't be afraid to fail. nobody is perfect in achieving any goal - weight or otherwise. Not every day will be perfect. But your next meal, think about eating a little bit less and think that it starts today. Find one thing to change today.

    Not tomorrow...
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    It's your life, your choice....
  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
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    Thanks everyone...I'm just so embarrassed at what I've become.....tomorrow is another start....

    Yeah, there's always tomorrow.

    Reminds me of an old rundown bar in my hometown, that had painted on the outside "Free Beer Tomorrow."
  • Debbie_Ferr
    Debbie_Ferr Posts: 582 Member
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    Thanks everyone...I'm just so embarrassed at what I've become.....tomorrow is another start....

    Start now. this minute. NOW is another start.
    Be conscious of you choices, your actions, your thoughts. You can do it !! :)
  • rhoule76
    rhoule76 Posts: 217 Member
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    No embarrassment! We've all been there done that. You can do this.
  • thoshowski
    thoshowski Posts: 135 Member
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    I've been there. The task seems overwhelming, so you get frustrated and binge. I've done it, and do it again. Break down the overwhelming task into smaller more achievable tasks. Set small goals, like no ordering pizza for a month. See how you do. Then add donuts to the list and so on. The tasks seem a lot more achievable when they are small.
  • Naener
    Naener Posts: 167 Member
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    BIGGEST issue i see every day here... is people making a bad decision... then throwing the rest of the day on the garbage heap because they feel bad... thinking "oh well, i already messed up THIS day... may as well..." is the worst kind of mind set.

    So you splurged on lunch and ate WAY too much... ok... dont go crazy with the rest of the afternoon and evening because you messed up at lunch. make a smart decision for dinner, and dont snack all afternoon.

    someone above me posted... dont start a new day tomorrow... start RIGHT NOW.
    Youre a human, we mess up, we have weak moments... dont let it defeat you. you CAN stop yourself.. you just have to make the decision to WANT to.
  • Amy4President
    Amy4President Posts: 165 Member
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    If you weren't ready, you would have just shrugged at the weight gain and kept doing and never would have made it here. You're ready to lose weight. It's just a matter of what you're willing to do to get there. Some advice I find helpful to curb hunger/cravings:

    1. Drink you water. 64oz every day. Chug it.
    2. When you crave something sweet, eat some fruit. If you store all of your weight in the middle, then it's likely your body cannot process carbs and sugar. Go down to whole grain carbs once a day and cut out sugar. It's hard for a week then gets better.
    3. Go work out. It helps curb your hunger and you won't want to eat back what you just burned off.
    4. Do some meal planning and grocery shop once a week. Make sure you have breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the week and budget your calories early (e.g. 300 for breakfast, 300 for lunch, 500 for dinner, and 200 for snacks).

    Give it some serious effort now and you'll feel better and want to keep going!

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  • ceannesjourney
    ceannesjourney Posts: 250
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    This may not be a particularly likable or popular response, but it's what I learned for me...as an emotional eater/overeater/binger. I had to build an emotionally strong foundation of self-love (where I'm at, not where I think I should be), self esteem, and try to get rid of the voice inside of my head (and often outside of my head by the media, etc) to go away while I take care of myself. It's taken me over a year of insense support and work on my part to start to begin to be at a time where I WANT to take care of myself, WANT to move my body, and DO love myself enough to make choices that I really think are helpful--never harmful.

    I also recently started with mindful eating and it has been a HUGE wake up call. Eat what you want but REALLY pay attention. For instance, eat a donut, but quietly, and in a peaceful surrounding, take a good look at it on the outside, smell it (really smell it!), imagine who made it, etc., etc. Then take a small bite and really savor it, try to pick out the different flavors and textures that you are tasting...I think you get where I'm going. What I've found is that I was eating a lot of foods that I thought I liked, but when I started eating really mindfully I realized that I don't like them. eg. I found that I like cheese, and I like some crackers, but I really don't like cheese and crackers together. I also realized that I don't really like the taste or texture of most potato chips, I don't like most milk-chocolate-based chocolate bars.

    I DO really LOVE peanut butter cups and where before I'd eat three really quickly and be looking around for me. Now I eat one over about 3 - 5 minutes and I find I enjoy it more than I ever enjoyed binging on them and that one is usually enough to satisfy me.

    Also, please get lots of sleep...I find that if I don't get enough sleep (at least 7 hours regularly) then I'm more likely to binge.

    I wish you the very best!!

    Don't pay attention to my tracker...I actually only track my food on here now...not weight.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    I may get crucified for saying this, but I think there are times when we just have to admit that we are not ready to deal with something. We change when we are ready, not before.
  • RosyBest
    RosyBest Posts: 303 Member
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    I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. We are all here because we are having problems with weight and being healthy. It seems that you know what it is that you need to do...but just won't do it. The weight gain and body image you see should motivate you to do something about it. You can do it. Everyday, you have a choice. Eat donuts or something healthier? Eat a whole pizza or have 2 slices and a salad? You can make healthier choices...you just need to be in the mental space where you will follow through with it. Good luck. You can do it!
  • RosyBest
    RosyBest Posts: 303 Member
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    You are absolutely correct.
  • rubyrenga
    rubyrenga Posts: 402 Member
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    i understand how you feel, because I was there, too. I agree with those who say to start now. Every positive decision you make for yourself, no matter how small, is bringing you one step closer to your goals. On the other hand, every donut, pizza or blowing off a chance to exercise is getting you farther away. When I think of things in these simple terms, it makes me a lot more conscious of the good and bad choices. Also, when I force myself to log all my foods, on good and bad days, that accountability makes me think twice before eating "bad" things, and makes me a lot more likely to make the effort to work out to burn those extra calories. Try to commit to MFP by logging, staying active on the forums, and making friends with other members, so that you have a support network. Also, you don't need to go to the gym necessarily to make progress and burn calories. Start with a short walk each day, and then work your way up to more time. Even if you only have 10 minutes, you can devote them to a little calorie burn. Each little step you take is going to make you feel better and better about yourself, and that will just encourage you to go even further. Good luck, and feel free to add me as a friend!
  • retirehappy
    retirehappy Posts: 4,752 Member
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    I have sticky notes I put on the bathroom mirror to help my motivation.

    Do you want to lose the weight or are you just saying you want to, decide. Now is a good time.

    Just DO IT!

    If not now, when?

    Love yourself enough to do what is right for you.

    Make it so.

    Feel free to borrow any of those :bigsmile:
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    SO I've been on MFP for a while,a couple months, having joined after being stunned to discover that I had gained 50 pounds and 12 inches around my waist in one year. Since then, drumroll please, I've gained 12 more pounds and two more inches around my once thin, now fat and soft, waistline. I have lots of supportive friends. I know, intellectually, what I need to do. I know what has made me fat. But each day, I wake up with the best of intentions, and then I eat 4 donuts. Or an entire pizza for myself. Or eat at a "all you can eat" buffet. And then I hate myself for not making progress, and eat some more. It's simple.....over the past 18 months, after being thin (heck skinny) my whole life, I;ve become a binger. I cant, make that wont stop myself. And my body reflects who I am right now. I don't like it, but I just don't seem ready for change. Maybe I need to sort out the rest of my life first, then try again.....:cry:

    You will do it when you are ready. When you decide you are worth it and want it bad enough. You have to have your "light bulb" moment. I wanted to lose weight for 5-7 years. I whined, complained, had every great intention to do it...and I got heavier. Until I had my light bulb moment, realized I was worth it, that I could do it, started believing in myself and realizing it's not a diet it's a lifestyle change.

    I wrote a few blogs on my MFP talking about my light bulb moment and what I did to start. While you are the only one who can decide to do it, maybe they might help?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/graceisjinxed

    Good luck to you. Remember when you are ready just believe in yourself. Tell yourself you CAN do this. Don't TRY, try means there is an option for failure. YOU CAN DO IT. You do have to be ready and really wanting it though.

    ETA: It takes a smart person to realize that maybe you aren't ready...and honestly, admitting that may be the beginning to changing...maybe start with small things until you are really ready...Like take 5-10 minute walks when you wake up...increasing by 5 minutes each week...Something so small like that could be all the change to make the rest of the dominoes fall in line.

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