HELP-About to give up!

Hi -- I am a newbie here, but was moved by your post, and decided to read the other varied and very sensible (although somewhat harsh on occasion) comments before replying.

I am no expert, but, in a spirit of positive support, I would suggest you the following in broad terms:

(1) Know your body type and what is 'normal' for it:
This is important as a starting place for determining what you wish to achieve and what you can achieve according to the parameters of your genetic make-up. From what you say about your height/weight -- and from your photograph -- I would suggest that you are an endomorph (naturally short and stocky build). I am an ectomorph (long-limbed and tending towards being lanky). This is important because, by way of example, try as I might, I will never have the physique that Arnold Schwarzenegger had in his hey-day as a body-building champion (he is a mesomorph) because my genetic make-up dictates otherwise. However, I CAN achieve good results for my age and sex within the limits imposed by my ectomorphic body-type. The same is true for everyone;

(2) It's all about balance:
A litte of this and a little of that will get you where you want to go: extreme and radical action (such as savagely dropping your calorie intake for four days a week and overloading on your 'splurge Friday' will throw your body into a state of feast-or-famine and it will attempt to retain every calorie it consumes; this is perfectly natural and a genetic hallmark handed down to us by our hunter-gatherer ancestors who were obliged to eat what they could kill. So, drink alcohol if you wish (I do), but the trick is not to overload on one day at the expense of the others (this is not good for the liver, the heart or the gall-bladder, etc), but rather to drink a glass or two of wine a day, etc. There is little argument that alcohol is largely full of empty calories, but, as you say, you are human. By the way, when Daniel Craig prepared for his role as James Bond in the remake of 'Casino Royale', he told his physical trainer that whatever routine he would have to undertake, this would have to allow for him to drink a few glasses of wine at the weekend; it did and Mr Craig achieved fantastic results;

(3) Set realistic, medium-to-long term goals and do not starve yourself:
I would suggest that, whatever weight you wish to achieve, you only set medium-to-long-term goals -- they are less stressful to achieve and allow for the short-term fluctuations which are inevitable. Medium-term goals of 12 weeks/3 months and long-term goals of 24 weeks/ 6 months work for me. Eg, in April of this year I determined that I was 3 kg over my average ideal weight for someone of my age/gender, and so resolved to lose the weight. I set a three-month goal of only losing 0.25kg per week, but managed to achieve this my making only modest changes to my lifestyle/diet/exercise routine -- nothing drastic. Also, it takes roughly 8-12 weeks for the body to adapt to any new stimulus in exercise/diet owing to the principle of Generals Adaptation Syndrome (GAS);
It is also worth bearing in mind that, as an adult, a daily calorie intake of 1200 calories (KCal) or less is considered as throwing the body into 'starvation mode', which means that the body will attempt to store every calorie it can get. On this basis, a calorie-reduction target of 'average'-200-500 calories (kCal) might work for you -- ie 2,500 (for an adult woman)-200/500 = a suggested daily calorie intake of between 2,000 and 2,200 calories (kCal), which, over a three-to-six-month period coupled with a reasonable exercise routine ought to yield results.

(3) Exercise for health and shape -- not for weight:
If your exercise focus is for health, I believe your weight will 'normalise' within the parameters I refer to in (1) above -- and you will not need to stress-out about how much you weigh. It is also important to change your exercise routine every 12 weeks/3 months or so, so that, once your body has adapted to a particular exercise routine (which it will do), you can then provide a different exercise stimulus to keep it changing.
While I do weigh myself, I also take my 'vital stats' with a tape-measure every month -- this, for me, is a better indicator of how I am doing than simply stepping on to a set of scales, as it give me information about how much fat/muscle I am carrying and whether I am heading in the right direction, according to my goals; so shape is important.
I also advocate the use of a heart-rate monitor (HRM) for cardio exercise (walking, running, cycling, etc) to ensure that the right level of stimulus and overload is placed on the heart; and

(4) A little goes a long way and your doctor is your friend:
One step-at-a-time and we all get there ... WHO recommended daily vigorous activity is 30 minutes per day: this is not a lot but stacks up in a week and certainly over months.
I am not sure how doctor (GP) -patient relationships work in the US, but in the UK, where I live, I have always found my local doctor to be a great source of information and support when it comes to me wanting to live as healthy a lifestyle as possible, and so I always take time to keep him/her informed whenever I have a consultation. My doctor is also excellent about keeping my understanding about what is 'normal' on track:-)

Keep up the good work and do not lose heart. As another poster in this forum said: 'Did you graduate high school in three weeks?'

I look forward to you posting another photograph of yourself in three months' time.

All the best

Talprofs

first of all look how far you have come... THE most important thing here is calorie in calorie out and watching your sodium intake.. dont let it go above 2500 mg a day.. your caloric intake should have a 500 cal deficit it takes 3500 cal to make a pound

Do this and you *will* lose weight:

1) Eat mostly to get the nutrition your body needs, and less for enjoyment. Establish a healthful diet and learn to enjoy healthful foods, and make eating less a part of your life.

2) Three meals a day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That's it. No snacks, and no "in between" meals.

3) Give up sugar. No sugar in coffee, soda, or on cereal. Give up fruit juice -- it's mainly just another form of sugar. Water is the only liquid you need.

4) In the beginning, establish a very regulated moderate calorie diet. Don't follow any sort of fad. Just pick a selection of foods that add up to a normal balanced diet -- whole grains, veggies, fruit, dairy, a little meat, etc. But start out by having exactly the same three meals each day -- the same foods and the same amounts. Weigh the portions on a scale. Consider frozen dinners. Healthy Choice, Lean Cuisine, Kashi, Smart Ones, and probably other brands have several that are low in calories and saturated fat, 25% daily value or less of sodium, and high in fiber -- no need to weigh these.

5) Weigh yourself every day on a 0.2 lb. accuracy scale. Your weight will fluctuate, but with a constant diet it should trend down over every two or three days. If it doesn't, eliminate items from your diet or reduce the size of portions until your weight does go down. (If you don't have a 0.2 lb. accuracy scale, I'd recommend the EatSmart Precision Plus Digital Scale, which is sold on Amazon.) Don't obsess over the scale — let it be your friend and point the way to a weight losing diet.

6) When you have achieved a weight losing diet, then you can start making adjustments to add variety, but make sure that you keep losing weight.

7) Maintain your exercise program.

This was probably the most boring and unhelpful advice I have ever read.

No offence.

I agree also but how do I average the weekly??

If you're splurging on Fridays, you want your weekly average to be your TDEE-20%... So log your Fridays and decrease the other days to make up for it. Maybe eat a bit less than lightly active too... 3-5 workouts of 150-170 calories might not even be considered lightly active.

This. I find I don't need cheat days BECAUSE I eat TDEE - 15-20% and follow my weekly average rather than stressing over my daily. I'm over some days and under others, but my week averges out to my goal. it's much less restrictive and (for me) more successful. If you eat 1600 calories during the week, that will give you 2300 calories on Friday to play with. Surely that is enough for a "splurge".

Do you log everything, every day, and use a food scale?

Do you even log on the cheat day? Perhaps the cheat day could be cancelling out the deficit, as someone else said. If you go back to 1,700 (I know it sounds a lot but it will shrink as YOU shrink :bigsmile:) you could eat a little under it for 6 days a week, say 1,500.. then on Saturday - enjoy yourself with 1,200 in the bank!

Alcohol has so many calories you would not believe btw - just 3 Margeritas adds up to about 750.

I totally agree with these two posts - I originally monitored my daily intake and stressed like crazy if I went over, but now I look at the weekly and overall calories, and it's okay to go over one day if you make up for it the next day (or over the next two days or whatever is necessary).

And yeah, alcohol - particularly mixed drinks and beer - has an obscene amount of calories. Save up some of those extra calories from the beginning of the week to splurge on fridays, but LOG EVERYTHING every day, including your cheat day!

If you have the MyFitnessPal app on your phone, there is a tab (under Home I believe) that shows a graph with your daily intake and your daily average throughout the week.

It also gives you about weekly total calories left. You cal also see your weekly macro intake, if you're following that. For me, my goal is to not go over my total weekly calories and to have my weekly macro balance be as close to optimal as possible.

I will warn you that when you first increase your daily calories, you will get a slight up tick on the scale. This is water weight from your body replenishing glycogen stores. It is NOT fat gain and it will level out and go away. Don't panic and quit immediately. It took my body a couple of weeks to start losing weight again, and my weight loss is personally less linear with this method (I may go a couple of weeks with no loss on the scale then lose multiple lbs on the third week), but it's more consistent and I'm way happier doing it this way.

I know the numbers aren't an exact science... but maybe you want to change your "research model" on the scooby site to "Mifflin-St Jeor", as opposed to the Harris-Benedict model.

From the scooby site:
"For example, two of the most commonly used equations come from the research done by Harris-Benedict in 1919 or Mifflin-St Jeor done in 1990. The Mifflin-St Jeor appears to be about 5% more accurate than the Harris-Benedict equations, this is probably because the older research was based upon a population that was much leaner and more active than we currently have. "

If using the Mifflin numbers:
BMR: 1463
TDEE: 2012
Cal to consume: 1609


Say you drop that by 100 calories to 1500 calories per day. (this is still just above your BMR). Then you will have 6x100 = 600 extra calories/week to splurge with friday night. 1609+600 = 2209 calories for a Friday splurge.

Granted, these are just estimates of your body, but these numbers make sense to me.

Good luck!