Lack of support & motivation from "friends"!!!

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tdavies174
tdavies174 Posts: 28
in Motivation and Support
hhmm so my so called friend at work today really didn't give me any encouragement or help at all!!

i've lost 5lbs in two weeks and updated her today on my 2lb loss for this week

I said how much I'm enjoying the calorie counting rather than slimming world

I did SW for 4 years and she berated me for leaving it - yes I lost 7½ stone with them but I've also put 4 stone back on so needed new focus

I told her that yesterday I went out for sunday lunch and had roast potatoes and even apple crumble with custard ..... her reaction .... "how the hell can you lose weight eating that ****"

NICE!!!!

I said it was within my calories and she shrugged her shoulders and said "well I can't see it, you're not gonna do well eating like that"

hhhhhhmmmmm

bear in mind here, she's a size 10 (UK) and can eat whatever she likes without putting on an ounce!

The ignorance of some people just bamboozles me some days :/

Replies

  • TamaraKat
    TamaraKat Posts: 533 Member
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    It is quite a sad world we live in.
    To me it sounds like she is looking down at you over her nose and that she isn't happy for everyone else but herself. I wouldn't take it to heart at all, there are people like that here too...
    Instead, find a few good MFP friends and support is guaranteed! :bigsmile:
  • bird_3_lee
    bird_3_lee Posts: 64 Member
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    I sugges tgetting some new friends, You should be able to enjoy the food you eat if youre within ur calorie goal you will get results so dont worry about what other people say. Feel good that youve got yourself back on track
  • leslturn8
    leslturn8 Posts: 505 Member
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    I know that feeling...hence why mfp is my fitness mates and my fb is full of people who dont have confidence in me.
  • liezele0323
    liezele0323 Posts: 25 Member
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    Well obviously someone does not like being happy for someone else but WE are very happy for you! Nothing wrong with a little something especially if you have kept yourself within the calorie limits. Plus if you are moving, it burns the calories! SO of course you will still lose! Good for you girl! Keep up the great work :bigsmile:
  • Dancing_Laeti
    Dancing_Laeti Posts: 752 Member
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    It's funny, but I know exactly what you mean...
    Everybody here at my workplace is on the one hand super supportive, saying how good I look RIGHT NOW and how well I've done and how amazing it all is, but then there are some (the 'skinny' ones) who have started to say, you know, it's enough now and I can stop. Well, I'm not done yet. I'm just over half-way to where I want to be and my BMI (yes, I know...) still puts me in the overweight range. So I have basically stopped telling them how much I have lost and just get on with it.
    Don't let her put you down, continue doing what you are doing and eating what you are eating. As long as you see results, who cares what anybody else says!
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    Time to realize that your motivation comes from inside. That is the only motivation that matters. External motivation is fleeting and usually has strings, tricky family junk & thinly veiled jealousy.

    Do this for you. Don't share details if it only results in responses like that. Keep going forward for you.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
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    Let it roll off you like water. Just let it roll off.
    And keep pushing, you're doing great for such a short time, by the way :)
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    ok, devil's advocate here - but could she be sincerely wondering how you could lose weight and eat those things? because if she is one of those people who can eat what they want without gaining weight, she may have no idea how diets work. she may be thinking it's all low fat cottage cheese, dry chicken breast, and lots of celery.

    not that you have to justify or explain yourself to your friends, but could that be what's going on?

    if she's just being a jerk, then you should find new friends!
  • mrsamanda86
    mrsamanda86 Posts: 869 Member
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    Sorry your friend is being a bit of a jerk about it :( The way you are losing weight is great, you're not cutting yourself off from the things you love so it shouldn't backfire and cause you to overeat at all. I've been having a Milky Way EVERY day for like a week or more now and have still been losing weight, granted, it's a bite size one and not a whole candy bar :wink:
    People don't like to hear that you can eat whatever you want and still lose weight, mostly because portion sizes are so distorted I think.
  • tdavies174
    tdavies174 Posts: 28
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    thanks guys

    i'm not gonna let her get to me - just needed to let off steam lol x

    i think she thinks that "dieting" means you can only eat salad and nothing "bad" at all

    i'll just carry on and show her eh lol!

    x
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    bear in mind here, she's a size 10 (UK) and can eat whatever she likes without putting on an ounce!


    Stop it. Stop right there. That is one of the worst mentalities I have seen on MFP. You can eat whatever you like too and not put on an ounce as long as its within your calories. And as far as she is concerned, I can guarantee you that she eats a lot less and is a lot more active than you think.

    As for the topic at hand. If she's not being supportive, then stop seeking support from her. Show her from your results that you don't need her bad advice or poor support. Do it on your own. You have lots of support here on MFP. I have family that did similar. She shut their mouth after they saw me a long time later.

    Good luck in your adventures.
  • tdavies174
    tdavies174 Posts: 28
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    As for the topic at hand. If she's not being supportive, then stop seeking support from her. Show her from your results that you don't need her bad advice or poor support. Do it on your own. You have lots of support here on MFP. I have family that did similar. She shut their mouth after they saw me a long time later.

    Good luck in your adventures.

    I'm not telling her any more lol!! she can ask me when she see's the results of me getting smaller ;) x
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    People are often surprised at what I can eat and still lose weight. It is all about the number of calories consumed and what you want to allow into your daily amount. Even when I first began here, I avoided certain foods, but seeing others that successfully lost while eating things I would not consider gave me a new way to look at eating. It is a learning process and finding out what works for you and be successful. We can relate to you and we can all get support from each other here.
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
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    SW claims to be a food optimization system rather than a restrictive thingy. It kind of is, and it does teach you how to eat healthier. However, as the NHS review says, it does not teach you about calories, or portion sizes. It drives me nuts when I go home and my mum says "You can eat as much of that as you want because it's sin free on SW". It still has calories though..... Studies have shown that of the people on SW and WW type diets, only about 20% reach and maintain their goal weight over a 5 year period. That means that 80% of people are not getting healthy on SW and WW.

    MFP is also a food optimization game. You can eat whatever you want, but the trick is to feel full but stick within your calorie limit. People associate dieting with restricting their favourite foods and torturing themselves, and then they binge when they fall off the wagon. This means it seems insane that we can eat cookies and ice cream and still lose weight. I presume this is what your friend was feeling, and that she wasn't trying to be unsupportive :smile: If she says something again, you could explain how the diet works, and that you need her support.

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