Suffering from eating disorder. Need help.

I had the same problem recently.. I just got tired of not being able to eat what i want nd watching everyone stuff their faces nd not have to worry about gaining weight

I eat alone alot so i would bing feel HORRIBLE nd than go throw up.. I havent purged in a while but im still binging a little bit but my workouts balance that out.

You're not alone girl Keep your head up ur freaking gorgeous

I agree with the first respondent: I would highly recommend that you talk to a real live person who you trust about this, whether their a counselor or an understanding and supportive family member or friend.

Next: I suffered from this for a few years in high school. I can understand the feeling of wanting everything to "be ok" and for a long time my excuse for never dieting or getting in shape has been that it would trigger my old eating disorder symptoms/feelings. I have to say, it has somewhat triggered those feelings but I really want to be healthy and happy with my body and I know that my eating disorder - as easy and comforting as it was - never got me there. Besides that, I'm sure you know, binging and purging (or just purging) is extraordinarily bad for you. It can lead to all sorts of electrolyte imbalances and even heart failure (not to mention holes in your esophagus and really bad teeth). I really wish you the best with this, I know how hard it is and really suggest you start talking to someone about it soon so you can begin the process of figuring out how to stop.
Also, I'm here and always willing to talk!

Edit:
p.s. you are BRAVE BRAVE BRAVE to reach out like this!

Nat, you will ruin your beautiful smile!

Let me ask this. Why are looking at what others eat and getting envious? I don't understand that. Everyone is different. Every life has different challenges and opportunities. Celebrate those differences and find your own way to health.

Natalie,
You, like everyone else has already stated, are an incredibly brave person for coming on here and asking for help. I had a friend who was bulimic all throughout high school. It ruined her teeth, her self-esteem, and her overall outlook on life. It consumed her thoughts and spiraled downhill and she was miserable. You need to talk to someone and get this under control now before this becomes you and you forget how to do this "right" in the first place. Remember that not having something healthy or dining out doesn't put you off the wagon. It means you decided to let yourself have a moment to enjoy something that you love and that's perfectly ok! If you allow yourself to have reasonable portions of things you enjoy, you are more apt to stay "on the wagon". You can do this. People overcome this everyday. I believe in you! You are beautiful!

Actually, you don't "keep failing"
You keep trying!

That's the real way to keep eating well. Past is past every meal, and go forward. Get help, keep trying.

Natalie, I haven't dealt with this personally, but I have watched a sibling go through it after quitting drugs and it was terrible. The throes of this disease(yes, it's a disease) are traumatic to everyone involved. I hope you seek personal, professional help and not just someone who claims to have masters in psychology. Not trying to discredit anyone here, but let's be honest. This is the internet. People say whatever they want.

Anyway, sometimes, as far as food goes, complete abstinence from the bad ones is the only way to go. I know I feel guilty about eating something like pizza now. Just promise me you'll get the help you need. It's not just something you do and forget about, especially if you feel bad enough about it to say something and feel horrible about what you eat. I won't give you my sympathy, but I will be here as part of a crutch to help you through. Chin up.

Nat, like I said, I have no personal experience with this at all. But I have been battling my weight for some many years, and have read so much about dieting, etc., that I know this is nothing to mess around with. It's like being pregnant -- you can't be "a little bit pregnant." Agree? Dump that creepy therapist and seek out another one. Call the number and get the info you need to get going with some help. They may not be around this late at night, but first thing tomorrow sounds great. At least get things going to help yourself. Let us all know how you are doing...

You all are so kind. The truth is- I did seek out counseling this summer. I ended up quitting after three or four sessions because the psychologist creeped me out, and I felt bad going since I don't purge after all meals, but rather I will only throw up if I feel as if it is "bad". It's like I have complete control, but I don't have any at all. I find that most of the time it is premeditated and its used as a negotiaion technique- "I can have this and then throw most of it up".. I must admit, I feel very bad labeling myself with an eating disorder when I am not nearly as bad off as most others struggling with this. Nonetheless, thank you so much for your encouraging comments and finding that number. I might have to try that out..

Okay. I am a recovering addict, and ALL diseases are the same, NO MATTER WHAT! I know you didn't do it much, or think it was bad, but if you were doing it to feel okay, does that say something? Do you think most addicts start out by shooting meth or drinking 1/5 of vodka a day? No. They drink socially or smoke weed recreationally. It's something most normal teenagers do. And when I started going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, I was like I was NEVER as bad as this person or that person. But my life was pretty darn unmanageable when I was using, and I felt okay only when I was really high. If I had any inhibition about me, I would not want anything to do with life. Purging is purging and is a disease if you feel "better" after you do it. Let me share a quote with you out of the Narcotics Anonymous book. "We are not addicts because of the amount of drugs we did, it was the reaction we got from the drugs." This means, if I did drugs to feel better, I was an addict.

Hi Natalie,
I wont lie to you that this is bad... but I am glad you are able to talk about it! You are better than most people who are feeling just like you are keeping it in! I will also say that "help" can sometimes not be as helpful as you may expect. Unfortunately if you are not seeking help from those who understand the situation fully and are willing to work with you at the point where you are, meaning, being realistic with their approach, you end up walking away from the sessions feeling worst than you walked in... I can tell you have mixed feelings on where you are since you said you don't think you have that bad a problem, and yet the name of the topic you started includes the term "eating disorder". Know that it is NORMAL to be confused about what is happening, but also know that there are resources that can be extremely helpful.
The truth is, everywhere you look today there are images of bodies that are not the reality for most of us... Unfortunately it ends up having an influence on what we believe society wants us to look like. Please know that a lot of those images are man made and not reality... Believe me, hollywood is a lot uglier in person!
As a Nutritionist, I know what this can do to you in the long term, but I am sure you have heard it before. The next step now is not to get more worried about how bad it is, but to move forward to a better position, from which you can take control of how you feel about the food you eat and what your body tells you when it looks back at you from the mirror.
If you need to talk, feel free to email me at eddieandtina@yahoo.com. I can also give you my number - no strings attached. Depending on where you live, I can give you some contacts for Registered Dietitians that can help you make friends with your food!
Please know that if you are speaking with a professional, you are looking to work with a non-judgemental person. If you don't feel you have a friend in your support person, then seek another one, until you find a good match. Dont give up girl!!!
Take care,
Tina

I admit I have not had any experience with eating disorders, but I want to congratulate you on your bravery for sharing your struggle with strangers in seek of help. Seeking some kind of counseling would be a great place to start as some has already mentioned. I see from your post that you have attempted counseling but quit. If the counselor you choose did not feel right to you, find another counselor, but dont quit. If you have to go through 100 counselors before you can find the right one for you, then so be it.

You say that you are not bad off as others. Throwing up after each meal is in no way good and can lead to more serious conditions. You are a beautiful person and we will be here to lend support the best way we can.


http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help-today

Information & Referral Help Line:

1-800-931-2237

You will overcome this, just don't give up or give in!:flowerforyou:

I suffered from Bulimia from ages 12-16 and then again from 18-20 until I became pregnant with my daughter. It did always seem like the easy way out but of course, that isnt the case. The enamel on my teeth is worn down, I always had EXTREME heartburn, I lost a lot of hair and could never grow fingernails etc. I applaud you for coming forward like this. MFP offers an extremely supportive network, but I do agree with the previous posters that you DO need to seek professional help in addition to the help you receive here. When I was a teenager I worked closely with a dietitian who understood my concern about weight gain and helped me to develop a gradual program to get me eating and keeping things in my body. You'd be surprised how supportive people can be (I always expected that I would get in trouble or looked down upon, especially by dietitians). You've done a VERY brave thing here, I am proud of you. I dont know if I could have reached out the way you have. We're all here to support you getting back on track to a healthy lifestyle. If you ever need an ear, i'm here

Well Nat, I didn't do any better tonight. I can even tell you exactly when I knew I was going to do it - that first oreo . . . then I ate whatever other junk I wanted cuz I knew I was going to 'toss' it all anyway.

I know I need another method of controlling my eating habits, and I know that binging and purging is wrong, but I have trouble with willpower when my husband leaves me to do EVERYTHING else around the house (picking up after dinner, dishes, clothes, dirty diapers he has changed, kids toys, vacuuming, animals, litter boxes) and plays stupid video games. I get so frustrated! That's when I eat - even though I KNOW that the only one I am hurting is me and that the food doesn't really make me feel any better.

I'm just not sure who I could really trust to give me advice or encouragement without ratting me out - I mean I don't want anybody to make me stop until I'm ready.

So far, this is the only place I feel "safe".

Well, I spilled my guts today. (verbally, not literally)

I told him that I was overeating when i was angry/frustrated. He thought it was because of bad numbers on the scale. I tried to explain to him that it was frustration from walking thru the house and getting angry about every sock/diaper (whatever item) that he walked by and left me to pick up.

he said he would try harder. Which is nice, but he has said that before. Hopefully he will try harder this time if he knows it is hurting me (or causing me to hurt myself) by not helping more.

So, now its out in the open.

Here we go.

How are you Nat??

Oh - by the way - he is very supportive of the diet - especially when i was eating completely differently from the rest of the family.

Natalie,

I have suffered from both anorexia and bulemia for almost 10 years. I go through these phases where I do it for months, and then just get to damn hungry and I quit. When I quit, I gain back large amounts of weight fast...

When I was 17 I lost nearly 100lbs from these diseases. It also caused me to lose my gallbladder, part of my esophagus, and now I not only gained about 200 back in a couple months after I quit, but I also suffer from constant heart burn...

It is a matter you need to get help with now! It's also something you will battle your entire life so we are here for your support any time you need it...