"You look like you've gained weight!"

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Replies

  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    That is terrible that you all had to be the recipient of such bad manners! It doesn't matter if someone has gained 400 pounds, you don't say "gee have you gained weight?". The nerve of people...
    Why not? Personally, I wish somebody HAD said something to me before I had gained the hundred pounds I'm not losing. Would've saved me several years of health problems.

    I'll never understand the mentality that it's ok to just let people destroy their lives and their health without commenting. That's quite simply the most ignorantly illogical mindset I've ever heard, and does way more to hurt someone then "hey, you've put on some weight, you may need to do something about that."
  • ddickensdonna
    ddickensdonna Posts: 4
    I've had my older generation comment on my weight and my daughters, it did hurt me more that they said something about my daughter than me, I replied as honestly as I could with a sharp jab of my own. "please...have you looked in the mirror?" My daughter is 5'7" and weighs 220. She is taking the NY state trooper exam in October. Any remarks that are being made should be of how great is that she is choosing to protect and serve all the judgmental people. I'm a mom of 3 girls, 40 years old , 5'6", and weigh 149 lbs. Let me tell you...with her few extra lbs, she can protect my *kitten* any day! Hold you head high.... BTW, she has more muscle than body fat..
  • golferd
    golferd Posts: 400 Member
    Has anyone else ever noticed that the person who makes a comment about your weight always ends up being someone WAAAYYYY larger than you are? Its like, who are YOU of all people to talk?? And since when does someone smaller than you not have feelings??

    Hahaha that's actually true! The guy who told me I was heavier was pretty big! Didn't even think of that.

    Might be saying: I wish someone cared enough to tell me. Now look how big I am. Stop before you regret it
  • emmeylou
    emmeylou Posts: 175 Member
    For someone to say that?? Unless the person is a close friend and the goal was to gain weight.... other than that? I can't think of a single acceptable reason to say that.

    That being said... have you been exercising? Because you may be gaining muscle mass while losing body fat. That would be a good thing! And, you wouldn't look quite as "skinny", but a child may not be able to find the word "muscular" to describe the changes :) I would think of it that way.
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
    I have learned from other people's mistakes that you NEVER assume or question if someone is due unless you see a baby head popping out.

    I got the "how did you get so big?" from one of my cousins once and my dad told me when I was dating my now husband that I could do better if I lost weight. It's funny how people think I want to hear their opinions...my dad is an *kitten*. lol
  • LAnne16
    LAnne16 Posts: 272 Member
    My parents have always been honest in telling me when I'm looking bigger or when I'm seeming really lazy etc. I appreciate it (but also get annoyed). I would make all thse excuses like "yeah I'm having a bad week" and use my depression/anxiety disorder as an excuse or say "Oh I know, I'm gonna start working on it soon"

    My nephew occasionally tells me I'm SO BIG! He usually means tall, but he also comments on my huge *kitten*... and one time (while I was measuring out some pasta, no less) he told me I eat a lot! Little jerk lol. You can't listen to kids, they don't mean anything by it (even if it's the truth)

    You have to just truck on. Now that my parents see how different my attitude this time; they's much more motivational for me. Telling me that they can definitely see my butt getting smaller or my waist shrinking, eventhough the lbs aren't really moving. They just don't want me to give up :)
  • benniesmother
    benniesmother Posts: 269 Member
    I remember being literally 98 lb (and 5'4"), as a teenager. My "friend" poked me in the side and said "you could stand to lose a few pounds!" I think people who do/say things like that are either insecure in their own skin, or jealous of you for being strong enough to make a positive change of lifestyle!
  • clairegogogo
    clairegogogo Posts: 215
    ALL. THE. TIME. "chubby", "thick thighs", or sugar coats it as "strong legs"....ugh :(
  • tapzookaye
    tapzookaye Posts: 1 Member
    That is terrible that you all had to be the recipient of such bad manners! It doesn't matter if someone has gained 400 pounds, you don't say "gee have you gained weight?". The nerve of people...
    Why not? Personally, I wish somebody HAD said something to me before I had gained the hundred pounds I'm not losing. Would've saved me several years of health problems.

    I'll never understand the mentality that it's ok to just let people destroy their lives and their health without commenting. That's quite simply the most ignorantly illogical mindset I've ever heard, and does way more to hurt someone then "hey, you've put on some weight, you may need to do something about that."

    I have to ask - is that all you would have needed to reverse your gaining trend? For me, no rude or helpful comment, pressure, or even support in the world would have made a difference. The change had to start inside, before the outside influence, mattered.

    And it works in reverse too. Once you've LOST a significant amount of weight, you can't expect the 'high' of positive attention and comments to last and keep you motivated to maintain.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I have several relatives like this. If I gain a few, they mention it. If I lose a few, they tell me I'm going to waste away. Either way I just smile and say "Yeah, I know. Thanks for noticing."
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I'll never understand the mentality that it's ok to just let people destroy their lives and their health without commenting. That's quite simply the most ignorantly illogical mindset I've ever heard, and does way more to hurt someone then "hey, you've put on some weight, you may need to do something about that."

    This ^^ I don't say anything to strangers or casual aquaintences, but a good friend or family member, I'm going to mention it. Not every time they gain 5-10 lbs, but if they start to really gain, they can count on me to mention it.
  • FakingFitness
    FakingFitness Posts: 325 Member
    Isn't it funny how human nature only wants us to hear people's opinions, if they're what we want to hear?
    We earthlings are an odd lot.
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
    I had someone who knows how hard I'm working to get myself healthy rag on weight within ear shot one night and brag about how skinny she is. Then in the very next sentence she expressed her negative view on single mothers and how they are all stupid little sl**s to get that way right in front of a single young lady who is expecting. And she knew this girl is expecting.

    She is so miserable in her own life that she thinks she has to bring everyone else down with her.
  • walkinthedogs
    walkinthedogs Posts: 238 Member
    I've had relatives say to me, "remember when you used to be such a beanpole" and then they add a laugh like it was a funny statement. As a matter of fact, yes I do remember, thanks, and not funny. I don't think they realize how rude it is. I just say, yes I do, but I also remember that was back when you didn't have wrinkles.
  • erikahand
    erikahand Posts: 11 Member
    Yep, more than once in the town the we used to live in people would come up and ask if I was pregnant. I have had people ask this several times and like a few other people have said my kids will come up to me and call me fat. I know they don't mean it to be insulting but it is still like a slap in the face that noone wants to get.
  • thedestar
    thedestar Posts: 1,275 Member
    One time I was at the grocery store with my 3 year old and my 9 month old. This older man started a conversation about my baby and after a while he said "You're already having another one?" I told him no and then he said "Oh, so that (pointing at my belly) is just leftover from the last one?" I just smiled and said "Yep" then walked away. I just tried to tell myself it wasn't a big deal and move past it.
  • jcreazy
    jcreazy Posts: 50 Member
    I have had family, people at school, etc. Say things about my weight. I was never upset or mad about it simply because they were right! Instead of sulking over it, do something about it. Regardless if they say anything or not, they are still thinking it. At least they have the decency to tell you that they are thinking it.
  • ThePeachy
    ThePeachy Posts: 1
    People just blurt things out, I guess. I went into the dry cleaner in my neighborhood for the first time in almost a year and the clerk said "You got big!" I smiled and said, "Yea, I guess" and she went on and on. "Your stomach and your face are so much bigger!"

    What to do?
  • KateBarnhart85
    KateBarnhart85 Posts: 125 Member
    I get it ALL time time!! but what is worse is when you have a larger friend who comes with you on a family vacation and your little (maybe 5 at the time) sister yells, "won't she sink the boat?" for God and everyone to hear. My friend laughed it off and my sister got a talkin to but I was mortified.
  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
    i had someone ask me if i was pregnant again :(

    Tell them:

    "Yes, it's your husband's."
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
    I get that all the time from my grandma. She just mentioned last week that I was getting fat again.
  • FitCurves444
    FitCurves444 Posts: 169 Member
    A couple of months ago the love of my life asked me if I had put on some weight.... and I hadn't..... so I said, "No. Have you?"

    Next time you see your nephew tell him that he had more hair the last time you saw him......
  • swtposey
    swtposey Posts: 12
    Out of the mouths of babes...I was babysitting for a friend. The little girl was 6 years old at the time. She patted me on the stomach and said, "Maybe you've got a baby in there and just don't know."

    I probably lost a pound laughing so hard.
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