**Controversial** Candy Cleanse

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delicious_cocktail
delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
in Chit-Chat
My kids brought home a lot of unwanted candy after halloween. I was trying to think of a way to use it up and I wanted to do a cleanse. It's sort of like a juice feast but with fats and fiber instead of just carbs.

Should I blend the candy for best results or just eat it as the manufacturer intended?

Will this work as long as I stay under my calorie goal?

What sort of toxins can I expect to remove from my body (other than unwanted muscle tissue)?
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Replies

  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
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    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.

    Damn bro, ur yolked. But I'm not down for bulemia, I'm all natty.
  • sassyrayofsunshine
    sassyrayofsunshine Posts: 499 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
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    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.

    Damn bro, ur yolked. But I'm not down for bulemia, I'm all natty.

    Fine, don't get sweet pecs and abs like me...do it the hard way!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    The best way to do it is to chop it all up and bake it into cupcakes. You need the magical cupcake carbs.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    use the nasty hard candies to make "stained glass" cookies

    everythign is better as a cookie

    stained-glass-cookies.jpg
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    I would blend it all together with plenty of kale, spinach, broccoli and beet root. It will disguise the candy from your body and therefore the calories won't count. Win/win!
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    What sort of toxins can I expect to remove from my body (other than unwanted muscle tissue)?

    Be careful some of this "CANDY" can have peanuts and Milk Chocolate and in turn provide Protein and hinder your goal of reducing the unwanted Muscle tissue. Best stick to plain white sugar or hard candies.
  • Sarahcuda
    Sarahcuda Posts: 76
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    Hmm... I was under the impression that the brownie method was more effective... but you have to have the frosting on the brownies, or it is a total waste of effort.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    Hmm... I was under the impression that the brownie method was more effective... but you have to have the frosting on the brownies, or it is a total waste of effort.

    truth
  • kristarablue2
    kristarablue2 Posts: 386 Member
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    you so crazzzzyyyyy:laugh:

    put it in your mouth, swoosh it around and spit. The nutrients and all the good cleansing qualities of the candy will be absorbed through the taste buds on your tongue there by eliminating the calories issue but getting all the wonderful healthy benefits of the Halloween candy......BUT beware, anything gummy won't absorb properly through your tongue, you may need supplements to make up the special gummy nutrients. Most people that do the candy cleanse are unaware of these techniques and fall off the wagon. Now that I am imparting crazy mad knowledge on you , keep up the good work....YOU GOT THIS!!!
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
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    The best way to do it is to chop it all up and bake it into cupcakes. You need the magical cupcake carbs.
    I don't have time to prepare foods myself. Is there someplace I can have these delivered directly to my house in the proper portion sizes to make sure I'm getting enough sugar and chocolate?
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    Candy Suppositories are the answer my friend and have the added bonus of sweetening the stench of protein farts.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    Candy Suppositories are the answer my friend and have the added bonus of sweetening the stench of protein farts.

    Ooh skittles.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    you so crazzzzyyyyy:laugh:

    put it in your mouth, swoosh it around and spit. The nutrients and all the good cleansing qualities of the candy will be absorbed through the taste buds on your tongue there by eliminating the calories issue but getting all the wonderful healthy benefits of the Halloween candy......BUT beware, anything gummy won't absorb properly through your tongue, you may need supplements to make up the special gummy nutrients. Most people that do the candy cleanse are unaware of these techniques and fall off the wagon. Now that I am imparting crazy mad knowledge on you , keep up the good work....YOU GOT THIS!!!

    I think the most effective way to do this iss to blend them all together into a runny paste, and then do a series of enemas to properly cleanse.

    And to the lady above who said the gummy stuff won't absorb properly in your mouth, this is crap. Anyone who has done any blotters of windowpane knows better.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Blend it until it's fluffy and eat with a fork. Or smash it all up and put pizza toppings on it. Excellent substitute for cauliflower substitutes.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,473 Member
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    I keep it for next year and hand it out.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
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    Binge eat the fruity stuff first (especially sours). So your mouth is to F'd up to eat anything else for weeks.
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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    Grind up the hard candy and snort it. Please provide video of this... to check form.
  • gkwatra
    gkwatra Posts: 431 Member
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    Candy Suppositories are the answer my friend and have the added bonus of sweetening the stench of protein farts.

    Ooh skittles.

    And you can fart rainbows too ...

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