**Controversial** Candy Cleanse

delicious_cocktail
delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
in Chit-Chat
My kids brought home a lot of unwanted candy after halloween. I was trying to think of a way to use it up and I wanted to do a cleanse. It's sort of like a juice feast but with fats and fiber instead of just carbs.

Should I blend the candy for best results or just eat it as the manufacturer intended?

Will this work as long as I stay under my calorie goal?

What sort of toxins can I expect to remove from my body (other than unwanted muscle tissue)?
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Replies

  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.

    Damn bro, ur yolked. But I'm not down for bulemia, I'm all natty.
  • sassyrayofsunshine
    sassyrayofsunshine Posts: 499 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.

    Damn bro, ur yolked. But I'm not down for bulemia, I'm all natty.

    Fine, don't get sweet pecs and abs like me...do it the hard way!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    The best way to do it is to chop it all up and bake it into cupcakes. You need the magical cupcake carbs.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    use the nasty hard candies to make "stained glass" cookies

    everythign is better as a cookie

    stained-glass-cookies.jpg
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    I would blend it all together with plenty of kale, spinach, broccoli and beet root. It will disguise the candy from your body and therefore the calories won't count. Win/win!
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member


    What sort of toxins can I expect to remove from my body (other than unwanted muscle tissue)?

    Be careful some of this "CANDY" can have peanuts and Milk Chocolate and in turn provide Protein and hinder your goal of reducing the unwanted Muscle tissue. Best stick to plain white sugar or hard candies.
  • Sarahcuda
    Sarahcuda Posts: 76
    Hmm... I was under the impression that the brownie method was more effective... but you have to have the frosting on the brownies, or it is a total waste of effort.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    Hmm... I was under the impression that the brownie method was more effective... but you have to have the frosting on the brownies, or it is a total waste of effort.

    truth
  • kristarablue2
    kristarablue2 Posts: 386 Member
    you so crazzzzyyyyy:laugh:

    put it in your mouth, swoosh it around and spit. The nutrients and all the good cleansing qualities of the candy will be absorbed through the taste buds on your tongue there by eliminating the calories issue but getting all the wonderful healthy benefits of the Halloween candy......BUT beware, anything gummy won't absorb properly through your tongue, you may need supplements to make up the special gummy nutrients. Most people that do the candy cleanse are unaware of these techniques and fall off the wagon. Now that I am imparting crazy mad knowledge on you , keep up the good work....YOU GOT THIS!!!
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
    The best way to do it is to chop it all up and bake it into cupcakes. You need the magical cupcake carbs.
    I don't have time to prepare foods myself. Is there someplace I can have these delivered directly to my house in the proper portion sizes to make sure I'm getting enough sugar and chocolate?
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    Candy Suppositories are the answer my friend and have the added bonus of sweetening the stench of protein farts.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    Candy Suppositories are the answer my friend and have the added bonus of sweetening the stench of protein farts.

    Ooh skittles.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    you so crazzzzyyyyy:laugh:

    put it in your mouth, swoosh it around and spit. The nutrients and all the good cleansing qualities of the candy will be absorbed through the taste buds on your tongue there by eliminating the calories issue but getting all the wonderful healthy benefits of the Halloween candy......BUT beware, anything gummy won't absorb properly through your tongue, you may need supplements to make up the special gummy nutrients. Most people that do the candy cleanse are unaware of these techniques and fall off the wagon. Now that I am imparting crazy mad knowledge on you , keep up the good work....YOU GOT THIS!!!

    I think the most effective way to do this iss to blend them all together into a runny paste, and then do a series of enemas to properly cleanse.

    And to the lady above who said the gummy stuff won't absorb properly in your mouth, this is crap. Anyone who has done any blotters of windowpane knows better.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    Blend it until it's fluffy and eat with a fork. Or smash it all up and put pizza toppings on it. Excellent substitute for cauliflower substitutes.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    I keep it for next year and hand it out.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
    Binge eat the fruity stuff first (especially sours). So your mouth is to F'd up to eat anything else for weeks.
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    Grind up the hard candy and snort it. Please provide video of this... to check form.
  • gkwatra
    gkwatra Posts: 431 Member
    Candy Suppositories are the answer my friend and have the added bonus of sweetening the stench of protein farts.

    Ooh skittles.

    And you can fart rainbows too ...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Should I blend the candy for best results or just eat it as the manufacturer intended?
    This is easy. Cavemen didn't have blenders!
    Will this work as long as I stay under my calorie goal?
    No... because your body will know that this is sugar from candy and not from fruit.
    What sort of toxins can I expect to remove from my body (other than unwanted muscle tissue)?
    I'm pretty sure your pancreas is going to fall out.





    Enjoy!
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.

    Damn bro, ur yolked. But I'm not down for bulemia, I'm all natty.

    Fine, don't get sweet pecs and abs like me...do it the hard way!
    Don't forget the cloits and dloits.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    **Controversial** Candy Cleanse

    My dogs started this last night, finding my oldest sons candy bag left on the floor. They proceeded to follow the prescribed use of candy ingestion, and by this morning I could see the results everywhere on the floor. I can testify, it really does clean the pipes.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    just think of all those wonderfal chocolate antioxidants
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    blend in some exlax that way all the calories will speed through your system not allowing them time to take hold.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    OP...Cleanses in general are a bad idea.

    But to do it with this kind of unhealthy garbarge is crazy.

    Just throw the candy away, and do it right this time. Starving kids in Africa don't even need to eat that crap.

    i know its tempting to want to get the quick results...But don't sacrifice your hard earned muscle. I'm going to send you a FR, and let's do this the right way!

    You have my support we are all here for the same reason.
  • Sarahcuda
    Sarahcuda Posts: 76
    This is the best post I have read in a while! Thanks for the laugh! I am sharing this :)
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    OP...Cleanses in general are a bad idea.

    But to do it with this kind of unhealthy garbarge is crazy.

    Just throw the candy away, and do it right this time. Starving kids in Africa don't even need to eat that crap.

    i know its tempting to want to get the quick results...But don't sacrifice your hard earned muscle. I'm going to send you a FR, and let's do this the right way!

    You have my support we are all here for the same reason.

    Why is it that every single time someone wants to try to better themself on this website they get stomped by this sort of scorn and derision. If this is what you call support I promise I will be denying your friend request.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Juice It! Then add it to Distilled Water and use it for an Enema...Total Cleanse!
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    OP...Cleanses in general are a bad idea.

    But to do it with this kind of unhealthy garbarge is crazy.

    Just throw the candy away, and do it right this time. Starving kids in Africa don't even need to eat that crap.

    i know its tempting to want to get the quick results...But don't sacrifice your hard earned muscle. I'm going to send you a FR, and let's do this the right way!

    You have my support we are all here for the same reason.

    Why is it that every single time someone wants to try to better themself on this website they get stomped by this sort of scorn and derision. If this is what you call support I promise I will be denying your friend request.

    Stomp!? How is calling attention to a potentially dangerous diet STOMPING!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING IF YOU THINK EATING NOTHING BUT HALLOWEEN CANDY IS GOOD IDEA.

    FORGET IT. I'M OUT. I will save my time for people who actually want help. Good luck with your great plan I'm sure it will work out great for you.

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