**Controversial** Candy Cleanse

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  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Should I blend the candy for best results or just eat it as the manufacturer intended?
    This is easy. Cavemen didn't have blenders!
    Will this work as long as I stay under my calorie goal?
    No... because your body will know that this is sugar from candy and not from fruit.
    What sort of toxins can I expect to remove from my body (other than unwanted muscle tissue)?
    I'm pretty sure your pancreas is going to fall out.





    Enjoy!
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    Blend it all at once, drink all of it, throw it up.

    Boom, no more candy and no lingering fat.

    Damn bro, ur yolked. But I'm not down for bulemia, I'm all natty.

    Fine, don't get sweet pecs and abs like me...do it the hard way!
    Don't forget the cloits and dloits.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    **Controversial** Candy Cleanse

    My dogs started this last night, finding my oldest sons candy bag left on the floor. They proceeded to follow the prescribed use of candy ingestion, and by this morning I could see the results everywhere on the floor. I can testify, it really does clean the pipes.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    just think of all those wonderfal chocolate antioxidants
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
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    blend in some exlax that way all the calories will speed through your system not allowing them time to take hold.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    OP...Cleanses in general are a bad idea.

    But to do it with this kind of unhealthy garbarge is crazy.

    Just throw the candy away, and do it right this time. Starving kids in Africa don't even need to eat that crap.

    i know its tempting to want to get the quick results...But don't sacrifice your hard earned muscle. I'm going to send you a FR, and let's do this the right way!

    You have my support we are all here for the same reason.
  • Sarahcuda
    Sarahcuda Posts: 76
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    This is the best post I have read in a while! Thanks for the laugh! I am sharing this :)
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    OP...Cleanses in general are a bad idea.

    But to do it with this kind of unhealthy garbarge is crazy.

    Just throw the candy away, and do it right this time. Starving kids in Africa don't even need to eat that crap.

    i know its tempting to want to get the quick results...But don't sacrifice your hard earned muscle. I'm going to send you a FR, and let's do this the right way!

    You have my support we are all here for the same reason.

    Why is it that every single time someone wants to try to better themself on this website they get stomped by this sort of scorn and derision. If this is what you call support I promise I will be denying your friend request.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Juice It! Then add it to Distilled Water and use it for an Enema...Total Cleanse!
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    OP...Cleanses in general are a bad idea.

    But to do it with this kind of unhealthy garbarge is crazy.

    Just throw the candy away, and do it right this time. Starving kids in Africa don't even need to eat that crap.

    i know its tempting to want to get the quick results...But don't sacrifice your hard earned muscle. I'm going to send you a FR, and let's do this the right way!

    You have my support we are all here for the same reason.

    Why is it that every single time someone wants to try to better themself on this website they get stomped by this sort of scorn and derision. If this is what you call support I promise I will be denying your friend request.

    Stomp!? How is calling attention to a potentially dangerous diet STOMPING!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING IF YOU THINK EATING NOTHING BUT HALLOWEEN CANDY IS GOOD IDEA.

    FORGET IT. I'M OUT. I will save my time for people who actually want help. Good luck with your great plan I'm sure it will work out great for you.
  • dsanders16
    dsanders16 Posts: 7
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    Ok...this has absolutely made my day!!!!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Will you be selling this cleanse for the bargain price of $12 per shake? Because I want in.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Candy Suppositories are the answer my friend and have the added bonus of sweetening the stench of protein farts.

    Careful, don't fart or you might shoot a hole in something.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    This is the best post I have read in a while! Thanks for the laugh! I am sharing this :)

    Ditto. My day/week is now complete. :happy: :drinker:
  • bigbyrdie
    bigbyrdie Posts: 18 Member
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    I'm sure there are plenty of people on myfitnesspal that would gladly take it from you, eat it on their "cheat days/cheat meals," and then post pleas for help later on that they just can't understand why they aren't losing weight.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    use the nasty hard candies to make "stained glass" cookies

    everythign is better as a cookie

    stained-glass-cookies.jpg

    Definitely! And if you break the cookies before you eat them, the calories disappear. Everyone knows there are no calories in broken cookies!
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    To answer your questions:

    1. Obviously.

    2. Absolutely!

    3. No one has ever really given a straight answer on that. Just know that you are full of toxins and could always use a good old-fashioned cleansing by any means necessary.

    I am not a real doctor, but I am on WebMD quite a bit, so you can trust that I am qualified to give this advice. :wink:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    Eat all the chocolate! It's an excellent laxative once you get the right amount, so just eat it ALL!
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    OP...Cleanses in general are a bad idea.

    But to do it with this kind of unhealthy garbarge is crazy.

    Just throw the candy away, and do it right this time. Starving kids in Africa don't even need to eat that crap.

    i know its tempting to want to get the quick results...But don't sacrifice your hard earned muscle. I'm going to send you a FR, and let's do this the right way!

    You have my support we are all here for the same reason.

    Why is it that every single time someone wants to try to better themself on this website they get stomped by this sort of scorn and derision. If this is what you call support I promise I will be denying your friend request.

    Stomp!? How is calling attention to a potentially dangerous diet STOMPING!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING IF YOU THINK EATING NOTHING BUT HALLOWEEN CANDY IS GOOD IDEA.

    FORGET IT. I'M OUT. I will save my time for people who actually want help. Good luck with your great plan I'm sure it will work out great for you.

    You for got the "I only want positive feedback from people who have tried it!!!!!" answer. Teehee
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    Baffled this behavior is being encouraged and joked about.

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