upset & discouraged :(
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Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, returned the tee shirt for a bigger size, then did it again.
Many of us struggle with this. And rarely do we like to admit it to ourselves, let alone others. My problem is that my depression and food cycles are an epic disaster. I start feeling depressed/ crappy and start binging, hiding food, and just wallowing in my pity party. Then I beat myself up because once again I have failed and I equate that to me being a failure, which then leads to more binging, more self loathing, and on and on.
I am constantly trying to avoid this cycle, and it is hard. One of the biggest things for me is positive self talk. Just because I am not there yet doesn't mean I won't get there. A failed day of diet and exercise does not make me a failure. I am smart, sexy, and successful. (Ok... so most of the time I don't believe a positive word I say, but I have been feeding my mind the negative crap for over 20 years, so it may take some time to actually start believing these positive things about myself.)
I have failed and restarted soooooo many times, I've lost count. I've told myself that I would NEVER EVER EVER let myself get to the 200lb + mark again, and yet here I am.
But you know what. In a couple of weeks, when I reach Onederland again, I will tell myself I will NEVER EVER EVER let myself go over 200lb again. As long as I keep working, one of these times I will be right.
In the end, no one cares how many times we fail, everyone will be focused on the success we achieve, because dagnibbit, I WANT TO BE HEALTHY!
You can do this. I can do this. No one every said it would be easy. Sure it is simple (eat less calories, burn more calories), but if it were easy the whole world would be skinny!
::hugs:: don't let this one day ruin your week, your month, your year. Forgive yourself, and start with a positive choice right now. Do something good for yourself and restart the cycle!
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Thank you for posting this. I went through similar motions yesterday,. but mine involved hangover eating. When I went to bed, I made a promise to myself that today i'd start fresh. Of course, when I woke up, that fighting spirit was greatly diminished, but reading your post and all the advice and encouraging words have helped me steel myself to be stronger and make better decisions today. I think I'm even going to go to the gym or start 30day shred again.
Thank you. I hope you are feeling less discouraged. One day at a time and all that!! 0 -
The mere fact that you acknowledged what you did is a positive step. Most people, to include myself, live in denial and don't acknowledge when they slip. Be proud of yourself and stay encouraged. We all fall off the wagon, some of us more often than others (talking about myself). Keep moving forward and keep you eye on the prize.0
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Seems like you're being too strict on yourself and not planning a lifestyle you can live with - do you want to spend a lifetime taking salads to parties? Er no.
So on days where you have something fun planned... eat well in the day [as you did] and squeeze in some exercise [which you did] and enjoy the party [which you did]... instead of having a massive blow out you could say I'm allowed this much of everything or more of just two things [your favourites] etc. That way you permitted yourself and you don't have to spend the next day/week punching yourself round the head.... you just get back on with eating healthy at home/work and exercising until the next party.... just make sure you're life isn't one long party :P
Better to lose the weight at a slower realistic pace in a lifestyle you can stick to, than lose it fast, and then put it back on as you didn't learn any habits for life.
Just my two-penneth worth.
This is exactly what has worked for me over the last 16 months. Great advice.0 -
It's possible you went 3,000 calories over your daily amount. It's also possible you are feeling so bad today that you're allowing yourself a little embellishment. What you might try is tallying up, as best you can, how much you *really* ate at the party. It might not be as much as you think. You might be able to adjust your daily totals today and this weekend so that you still end up in a *weekly* deficit, or even just at maintenance. If you step back and get a different perspective, you might find you did much less damage than you think. And that can put you in a MUCH more positive frame of mind, which will help prevent that "well I screwed this week up, might as well go all out for two more days" trap that we can fall into.0
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I think it's setting yourself up for guilt if u go to a party with a salad.
Everyone partying, eating, drinking etc and you with your salad. Of course ur gonna join in the fun!
I can't do the eating before eating thing at all or I wind up eating double or triple.
I simply eat lightly as in lots of veggies and some protein during the day of the party and do a good workout.
At the party, I'm careful but I don't deprive myself of things I really want.
No guilt and I wake up to a new day of eating well and moving my body!
I totally agree with this. Weight loss isn't just about calories in and out, there's also the psychological aspect of it. We're all social beings -- that's why talking to each other on MFP is so supportive. But I think that's also why you unintentionally set yourself up for failure by bringing a salad to the party, which is a very social setting. I don't think it was just about the other food looking delicious (though I'm sure it did), it was also about how you'd be setting yourself apart by doing/eating something different. Believe me, I've done the same thing and failed in the same way! Now what I do is bring a veggie tray with hummus or something to share. I still eat some of the other food, but I know at least my veggie tray is my fall back and where I try to get most of my calories from. Other people also love veggies and healthy options, and then you aren't alone in eating something. You're part of the group, and you're eating something good.
Also, if I may be so bold, you mentioned drinking a bit last night. I think that could be why you are beating yourself up today so much. At least for me, when I have more wine than I should, the next day I feel kind of sick and sad and hungover. Which always makes me feel really down on myself. And also why I've largely given up drinking
Hang in there. It was one day. It's not about one promise you make to yourself, but what you keep doing over and over.0 -
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Sorry, but, for me, I don't want to live life avoiding artichoke and bean dips. I love that stuff and food makes parties even more fun. My question to you is, "why are you setting such difficult hurdles for yourself?". I bet there were lots of skinny people there eating the food and drinking, so why can't you fit it into your life as well?
You're better off trying to give yourself some coping mechanisms. Rather than take a boring salad to a party, take a bottle of fizzy water instead and have a glass between your alcoholic drinks (or swap to white wine spritzers) . Just doing that could save you a huge amount of calories, not to mention losing control at the buffet and possibly a hangover to boot.0 -
It happens to ALL of us...ALL the time. Cheer up, it's the 1st. Perfect time to start over and refocus on your goals. Don't let one bad day get you down!0
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I agree with what everyone has said here. It's done, you need to be kind to yourself and let that be in the past. Today is a new day, right? That's right!
I do wonder though... what was going through your head as you were neglecting your beautiful salad? I'm not saying this in a scolding mom kind of way, lol, I'm not shaking my finger at you as I type this, I'm just trying to draw your attention to your thought process. It may help you from doing this again (or regularly). It's not a bad thing to fall off the wagon occasionally, but man, it is so easy to justify doing it often! Maybe try putting some thought into that... like... did you forget all about your poor salad? Were you kicking yourself at the same time you were eating all the things? Did you just let yourself shut down while you ate? Did you truly enjoy the food (I'm totally projecting here, and I will own that. I can go into 'beast mode' and eat stuff and later on realize I barely tasted it. What a waste!)
If you know what your mental and emotional reactions are when you let yourself go all out, knowing you will regret it, you may be able to walk into a sticky situation better prepared to tackle the temptation. And you may find that you can still enjoy all the deliciousness, but in moderation so that you won't feel bad about it later.0 -
As many others have already said, going over your calorie limit for one day isn't the end of the world, just eat healthier and do some exercise the next day. If you're pretty good most of the time then the old splurge isn't going to have a huge impact.
My advice on almost any topic ends with listening to the Rocky themetune. There is no day that cannot be improved by that. Go for a run in a headband. Immediately!0 -
Been there done that and Halloween is a big temptation especially with an 8 year old son who is a basically a beanpole (4 and 1/2 feet tall and weighs maybe 60 lbs soaking wet) and can eat anything he wants. Candy galore in the house and it's my task to pare it down to something reasonable, giving the rest of the candy away or sending it over to his dad's house with him.
Anyway, forgive yourself. That's the first step. Congratulate yourself on the healthy meals you did have, don't focus on the not so healthy things you did. If one full day is too much at the moment, then break it down. Example, if you stick to 3 meals a day, shoot for 2 of them to be healthy and then gradually make the 3rd one healthy. So, make breakfast and lunch healthy and then if you mess up at dinner, it's not so bad. Also, make a point to track everything that touches your lips. You'll start making better choices because you don't want to face the 400 calorie ice cream knowing you'll have to admit you had it. Tracking everything helps me to avoid alcohol too because I don't want to track those empty calories. Join me on a 75 day challenge. I'm tracking everything to include my Coke Zero that I have instead of coffee, the snack size candy I might steal from my son's stash and bites, licks or tastes I might have while preparing dinner. I have some more things I'm trying for like exercise 3 days a week, and less processed foods, more natural foods but just tracking is good enough.
Also, next time when faced with a party like that, eat your salad before arriving, and drink some water. If you are feeling full, then you're less likely to be tempted by all the good food in front of you. It doesn't work all the time because if you're like me, you'll stress eat but it works most of the time and that's still good.
You can do it and you have support here on MFP to remind you that you can do it!0 -
Flipping through the responses to your posts I see many words and phrases I would like to echo....mainly to be kind to yourself. Take ownership and move on. Next Halloween you can look back and remember how Spooooooooked you were by that night. Hopefully you can process the events and understand what about it triggered your binge, I'd say the party but you woke up feeling the ominous signs of a potential binge, tired, run down.....you are already learning so many things about your overheating before that you probably were never aware of, take stock in these little things.....you will get there...be kind to yourself and keep tracking!!! You may have lost the battle but you can still win the war!0
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You stumbled... you didn't fall!! You recognized you messed up, it happens. Losing weight is like a job. You have to learn what works best to do it efficiently. The way I do it will be different from the way you do it. You didn't walk away because you want this bad enough. So... what have we learned? I don't think bringing a salad was such a bad idea. I might have eaten before I went and brought the salad for back up. Perhaps drinking was what caused you to let your guard down? Pick the night apart. You will see where it went wrong, then come up with a revised game plan and see how it works out next time.0
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When I used to go to slimming world the leader used to say, 1 bad day is just that 1 day - it didn't take only 1 day to put on the weight in the first place so 1 day won't unravel all the good you've done/are doing. Don't panic. At least you can see where you went wrong. Also every now and again a bit of a binge can do you good to prevent your body going into a starvation type mode. Don't worry, you're human and everyone slips up!!0
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Eh, new month. Shake it off. I ate horrible yesterday but I knew I would and planned appropriately for the rest of the week. Therefore I didn't feel AS bad. I also took someones advice on here and it is the best thing anyone has told me. Drink water. Yes, simple but when I feel like I want to binge (or at a party with tons of bad foods) I tell myself ok I'll have some but I have to drink 40oz of water first. Usually my hunger comes from being thirsty and then I really don't want the bad food any longer. It really helps since I am a binger. Good luck.0
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Wow. This is why I love MFP. I would agree with almost everything I read, especially that the tools we're using require consistent use to build up. I'll add one more thing to the list, and this has helped me a lot.
If you were going down the highway and had a flat tire, what would you do? You'd stop, fix it (or get it fixed), and go on with your day after a hiccup. Who would get out and slash the other three tires?? No one would!! So you had a flat. Fix it (by starting over the next day) and get on down the highway.
Lots of good luck to you, and don't be afraid to do a little hard work, too. I'm early on, but this is the most successful I've ever been and my attitude now is, why can't I reach my goal? The longer I do it (I'm on my 116th day), the more a part of my life it becomes rather than a "diet".0 -
What an outpouring of support and encouragement! that's got to make you feel like you're not alone.0
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Yesterday is over. Today is withing your control. One food choice at a time.0
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It was one day, it was an event. Today is a new day. Breathe and move on
you've got this. 0
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