BEGGING FOR HELP, PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE HELP ME STOP!!!!

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  • jimmyjavon
    jimmyjavon Posts: 1
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    Keep us posted on your updates. I will be tracking ur weight :)
  • sugaspice999
    sugaspice999 Posts: 164
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    Thank you so much! Yes, I sgree I was probably being a little too restrictive during those couple months.

    Today I woke up feeling super bloated, my body looks bloated, but mostly my face. My family said I look the same though, but to me my eyes look swollen and I have the chipmunk cheeks. I thought about skipping breakfast or drinking a detox smoothie for breakfast but didnt, simply because I didn't want to go through the same thing again.

    I'm not really that hungry but eating some oatmeal, w/ almond milk, hemp seeds, raisins, 1/2 banana, protein powder, and some fennel. This way I'll hopefully not be tempeted to binge because I'll be so full

    I'll keep you updated :)
  • Pinkranger626
    Pinkranger626 Posts: 460 Member
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    Ok here's what you need to do. I went through a particularly bad semester my senior year and put on about 15 lbs in that one semester.

    1. Take a moment and take a deep breath.

    2. Take 20 minutes (yes I know it's a lot but you'll feel better once you do this) and make a list of everything that needs to be done. Put it in the order of most importance and give yourself a timeline. I found scheduling myself regular breaks gave me a light at the end of the tunnel. Decide what needs to be done at the best of your ability and what you can sort of throw together and just give your minimum effort (I'm a control freak so this part was really hard for me as I felt like everything had to be perfect.) In the end if you get an A+ or a B- or hell, even if you barely scrape by with a C it doesn't affect whether you get the degree or not. your mental health is way more important than getting a perfect score on an assignment that won't even have any affect on how the rest of your career or life goes. Everyone gets the same degree and one or two less than stellar grades will most likely not kill your average that much (unless there's only two tests for your grade or something like that)

    3. Give yourself a time limit- map out what you're going to do that day and give yourself say 4 hours to complete said task. After the 4 hours is up go workout, have a snack or meal (give yourself a limit on that as well maybe an hour) then return to the task for another block of time... or move onto the next task if you've finished.

    4. If you're studying for a test- as soon as you start to jumble things up in your head, find you're not remembering anythign you just read, or it's the day of the test.. STOP studying! If you push yourself to keep going over stuff you actually start to second guess yourself and start confusing the stuff that you already knew. If you've been doing the work throughout the semester and showing up to classes you actually know more than you think you do. I never allow myself to even look at anything once the day of the test is there, if I don't know it now cramming it in as I'm walking to class is not going to help me.

    5. Food- Don't skip meals because you feel guilty about the last few days. Do what has worked in the past, plan your meals out ahead of time, throw out junk food if you can't have it around you without feeling tempted, go study somewhere that doesn't allow food (like the library) so you can't mindlessly snack while you study.

    6. Schedule in time for your workout. non-negotiable... period.

    7. Go to bed early

    8. The semester will end, and the world will regain it's homeostasis.

    Hope this helps, I'm a bit of a control freak and I found when I was feeling like that when I took the time to map things out and have a plan I was much calmer, I had an easier time getting through everything that i needed to get done, and I felt more like myself.

    As fr the bloated puffiness, that will go away after a couple days of cleaning up your diet and drinking more water. Three days is not enough of a binge to put on more than a pound or two and if you can get it under control now you'll be fine.
  • calliekitten9
    calliekitten9 Posts: 148 Member
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    I havent :( I used to be bulimic but developed binge eating disorder when I "recovered".
    I gained around 30 pounds from it, but through eating well and exercise for the past 4-5 months was able to go down from 160 to 116.

    Clearly, I'm still not mentally there yet. This was bound to happen eventually and I guess now is the time. But the possibility of grad school and the required class for it is on the line this time.

    I'm trying so hard to study (I'm behind because I missed class today) but can't focus because I'm so full. :(

    I truly think therapy would help....because this isn't just an issue with food but how you see yourself. I used to be anorexic and it was all about trying to control the one thing that I felt I had control over...which was what I put into my body. I can still get that way if I don't acknowledge that that is the true issue for me....trying to exert control over my life when I don't feel like I have control in other areas. I have to work very hard to remind myself that being that focused on food won't solve my problem and has, in the past, caused me great health issues. I wish you well on your journey.
  • sugaspice999
    sugaspice999 Posts: 164
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    *Update in this post (see below)

    But first, I really appreciate the time you guys took to respond to this. I would write more, but I'm in a time crunch at the moment. Once the exam is over, I will definitely post photos and actual stats, update profile and track my food on here. I'm so thankful for the support, and probably wouldn't have made it binge-free today without you guys (still 4 hours left haha, knock on wood).

    One of the saddest things I dealt with today was grocery shopping with my mom. I felt miserable the entire time (b/c I was bloated) but felt really bad when she said she was "proud" of me for changing my liftestyle and she wishes the rest of my family would do the same. She even said she's so glad and thankful I'm not overweight anymore (from bingeing) but that I might be losing too much weight. Every time she asked me about whether we should buy "" or "" product, I felt bad because she was trusting me so much and thinks I know everything about eating right. She'll quote me to other people for workout/eating advice. I was SHOCKED. I look atleast 10 pounds heavier than usual, not to mention my eyes are so swollen they look closed, and my mom just said everything that I wanted her to tell me when my bingeing started a couple months ago and I was gaining weight in the first place. I just said thanks and let her know I appreciate it, but I didn't tell her that she kind of contributed to my image issues/disorder. My family has always been extremely focused on weight and image, and you guys would be shocked if I told you what I've been through. (My mom used to LOCK our fridge at night with one of those gate locks so I couldn't eat anything, she now still writes our names on jars of peanut butter/granola/cereral etc, there are INVENTORIES in my pantry to make sure entire boxes of food don't go missing, and not even going to mention the things she's said to me.) My sister is going through the same thing I was going through my mom (she's normal weight but binges every so often) and I try to be there for her as much as I can, but I want to recover myself too so I can be there for her. I wish I could be more open with her and tell her about my bingeing, but I know all that is going to lead to is the fridge being locked again :( Maybe even a lock installed on the pantry.

    UPDATE:
    I ate around 1700 calories, got in the 115 grams protein I need:

    -oatmeal w. stevia, 1/2 banana, hemp seeds, almond milk, protein powder, cinnamon, fennel, 2 egg whites
    -fat free plain fage greek yogurt w/ 1/2 scoop protein, 1 mini guava, 3 dates, 1 tbsp amaranth, stevia, granola
    -egg whites, 1 egg w/ kale, braggs aminos, nutritional yeast, tomatoes, zucchini, squash, red/yellow bell peppers, asparagus, and some goat cheese on top
    -clif builders bar
    -lara alt lemon pound cake bar
    -green tea
    -coffee
    -gallon + water

    Didn't weight myself

    I did cardio at home for 35 min (500 calories burned) and did three sets of 12rep deadlifts (50lb), 75 squats (15 lb) and 25 (25lb) squats. (I'm starting the squat challenge today, finally) I bought some yoga pants that I'll hopefully look better in, but they're size xs! Pretty sure the sizes are messed up haha. Thank you for suggesting to workout though, I was so close to skipping it but feel really good about it. The day after a binge at the gym is horrible and I feel like everyone knows and they're like "oh look, she binged! Look how tight her gym clothes are :O " But I know its in my head, no one cares about other people at the gym, they're doing their own thing. And I also didn't want to deal with everyone that tries to talk to me there that find me "inspiring", would feel like such a letdown (cant think of a better word), but everyone slips up once in a while right? :( I'm going to go tommorow morning for sure though!

    Will keep updating you guys :)
  • Alta2000
    Alta2000 Posts: 655 Member
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    After your exams next week I would suggest that you go and see a therapist. You appear to have underlying issues related to your family and you should try to resolve them as early in your life as possible so they wont snowball.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
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    If you aren't in counseling, have you thought about seeking professional help?

    This. I got therapy 2 years ago and it changed my life.
  • sugaspice999
    sugaspice999 Posts: 164
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    Yup, definitely in my plans for the weekend. I'm hoping it'll allow me to be more open with them too, and maybe they won't act so negatively towards my sister. Or atleast encourage a healthy liftestyle the right way.
  • dfcdiva514
    dfcdiva514 Posts: 4 Member
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    I am so relieved to see that today was a better day for you. I sent you an email last night and you were on my mind today. Continue to stay focused and seek wise counsel. Peace and blessings.
  • jackielou867
    jackielou867 Posts: 422 Member
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    I used to be a binger. If I was buying fuel or groceries I would buy chocolate at the counter, and because I couldn't choose which one I would buy, and eat, at least 3.
    I reached goal recently and am on maintenance now.
    Now I tell myself it is a circle, eat sugar, blood sugar goes up, blood sugar goes down, crave sugar/carbs. So if I just don't take that first step I will be fine.
    If I do feel a bit "hungry" I treat myself to a milky decaf coffee. It takes a while to make cool, and drink. If that doesn't work I make another. In a half hour I have had 300 ml of skim milk. I can live with that. Sometimes I can get by with a peppermint tea, its good for digestion too.
    But the last couple of times I have felt really hungry, were while still dieting, I can honestly say I was not maxing out my calorie allowance, so after a few days my body says, screw this, feed me, feed me now. On these occasions I switched on to maintenance, and finished the week with a bit more food.
    Good luck with it all. I am off to make some peppermint tea :wink:
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
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    I'd handle this by not eating tomorrow. When I have a day that's way over, I simply will not eat again until I feel truly hungry. Like stomach growling for an hour or 2.

    please everyone eat. food is your friend.
  • chizumlassstar
    chizumlassstar Posts: 49 Member
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    Hello, I to am an emotional binge eater. I eat my feelings unless I am REALLY stressed, like adrenaline rush, think I'm going to die stressed. I don't know if you are religious but something I started lately was listening to meditations for weight loss by Marianne Williamson. I got the CD from a library, put them on my computer, then on my phone. She talks to you and helps you gain back control, without a judgmental, or criticizing tone. Try it. I could e-mail them to you if you like. Just let me know. And remember, there are people out there going through the exact same thing you are. Just trust in God, and yourself. You will get through this. :heart:
  • sugaspice999
    sugaspice999 Posts: 164
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    Good evening! I was able to mention the therapy at dinner today, and I think my dad said next weekend could work but he'll have to look into it. If it doesn't work out, I'll just look into it myself and go myself until the whole family can.

    UPDATE:

    Ate around 1700 cals again, 115ish grams protein

    -oatmeal w/ amaranth, stevia, cashew milk, protein, hemp seeds, raisins
    -handful nuts
    -eggs w/ zucchini, squash, kale, bell peppers, asparagus, braggs, nuyo, goat cheese
    -protein, banana, zucchini, cashew milk, coffee shake
    -turkey burger w/ asparagus & romaine
    -lara alt bar (lemon pound cake)
    -nugo raspberry chocolate protein bar

    + supps, water, rhodiola, green tea, sugar cookie tea, and coffee

    I went to the gym, and honestly didn't feel that great there. Usually I have tons of energy, but I just felt like I had moved back to where I had started when I saw myself in the mirrors (still kind of bloated). But I'm proud of myself for still going, I had to wake up at 4:30 am and was home by 7:30 (gym is 20min away). Random, but really hot guy in the sauna today, and he said hi! :)

    Workout was 35 min cardio (460 cals burned), and weightlifting for triceps, deltoids/traps, chest, and I squeezed in a couple abs exercises. Planning on doing glutes/legs tommorow and excited about it!

    Overall, I didn't really feel like binging today, though I ate a huge breakfast and didn't really eat much of a dinner. I made my carrot cake oatmeal for tommorow morning before the gym and I'm eating the leftover that didn't fit into the bowl and feel pretty good. I have a chapter of chem to read still tonight, but otherwise have tried to calm down. Family weight comment of the day: my mom made some comments about me being "skinny" again and even compared me to a too-thin turkey burger while she was cooking. (not even joking haha, family is weird!)

    ALSO, I bought rhodiola today! Which is supposed to be an adaptogen to calm you down for tests/studying etc and help you focus. I took it, and definitely didn't freak out today --> might have actually led me to eat less, even though I took it after lunch. I'm going to try to take it before my workout tommorow just to see what happens. Have any of you guys heard of it/tried it?

    Another question, do you guys take pictures of the food you binged on? I was looking through my phone pictures of the sandwiches, del taco binge, and the second mcbiscuit from mcdonalds that I couldn't even finish. Strangely, I felt like it wasn't THAT much food (like "hey, I could eat more than that" but obviously don't want to really eat the junk). I realized I wasn't even enjoying that food I binged on at all, just eating it to "eat". I remember going to del taco, literally 20 minutes after mcdonalds and I haven't even been to those places for the past year. I just never liked them, except for the soft serve at mcdonalds. I remember even wanting to try the latte at mcdonalds or starbucks even though I always drink my coffee black, weird!

    Thank you so much again! I know I have a couple messages to respond too, sorry for being late but I'll try to asap.
    Sugaspice :)

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