One year of my life. 54kg/119lbs gone. (pic heavy)

One year of my life.

Twelve’s months. It seems like a life time ago, but at the same time seems to have gone past in a flash.

Where do I start? Well maybe I’ll give a bit of a back story – November last year, I am at home, I’d just had a rough week, I think one of the children in my class had called me fat while I ate lunch, and I’d had the pleasure of shopping for new clothes only to find tent like tops and a general struggle of finding pants. I was well and truly at the end of my rope. I had during my teens struggled with more ‘darker’ thoughts, and worked long and hard to get away from them. I suddenly felt like they were creeping in, like a dark cloud and it was whispering that I could not escape where I was, that I couldn’t escape that I was heavy, always going to be heavy and that starving myself was the only answer to getting out of it. I have to admit, I totally flipped, more because the part of my brain that had worked so hard to free myself from those thoughts was seeing this horrible, dark cloud attacking my peace of mind.

At that time, I was fortunate enough to have two wonderful people there to help me from falling head first into my darker thoughts. My husband – James – who though heavy himself at the time, bundled me up and told me he would do whatever we needed to do to support me in whatever I felt was needed. My best, Josh also reached out to me, seeing me in distress and at the time I was yet to realize just how valuable his support and advice would be on my journey. I accepted their support without question. I knew I needed support as I had a tendency to ‘fall down’ and get stuck that way and I needed the direct support of those who cared for me to assist me.

Jump forward a couple of weeks, and its funny how things happen. I had a lady doing temp work at my workplace and notice me writing down on what I was eating. She suggested I try Myfittnesspal, and I downloaded it while she explained the basics of the app. I honestly never looked back. For a long time I just used the app, unaware of the community beyond and that was okay, I was using it log my calories and exercise and I had fallen in love with the barcode scanning feature which had me quickly learning all about the foods I eat, and the shocking calories hidden in some of the food I loved!

I set a basic goal, 30kgs loss, that would put me at a flat 100kgs, this seemed so beyond anywhere I could ever be, but I argued with myself that if I could give myself one year, put in 100%, when it didn’t work (I know right?) I could say I had done my very best and it hadn’t worked and all those blasted people who had told me if I could ‘just lose a little weight’ that all my problems would melt away could eat their humble pie.

So I continued on, followed the rules. I soon dropped pasta, finding it a bit too moreish and have a lot of trouble curbing my appetite when I was eating it. I moved on to brown rice and whole meal bread. To start I was eating 1200 calories without eating any of my exercise calories back. I didn’t feel hungry, was eating lots of salads and lean meat and finding it not too difficult to maintain. I was always in discussion with my best Josh (who is very healthy, been a semipro athlete and knows what they hell he’s talking about!). This made a massive impact on how I went. Having that person there I knew I could pick the brain of someone who wouldn’t think my questions or thoughts were totally hair brained and a waste of time.

I carried on as my weight continued to drop and to my general surprise the weight did melt away! Who would have thought hey? Anyrate, realistically I couldn’t afford a personal trainer or going to the gym, so I just got outdoors. When I say that, I mean… all the time. Much to surprise of others outside Australia – it does get cold, it does rain, and it can be pretty miserable. I refused to let this get in the way of my goal and invested in a strong, bright rain coat and got out there!

Around June, I started Couch to 5k, and I’ve never looked back. It was hard- god it was hard! I had never run EVER, it was never an interest in my life even as a child, so it was to everyone’s surprise when I started the program. I like change, and I like challenges so this program suited me. I did it based on time rather than distance, and the entire way through I was thinking I wouldn’t be able to run the 5kms in the 35 minutes they gave you in week 8. I actually finished it in 33 minutes! Was an amazing moment for me, I couldn’t have felt more proud.

Other things were happening too, I decided to go the second hand road with clothes, and just kept buying them, as I needed them. I found people at work, and those who hadn’t seen me in a while started to notice the change and asking me questions. I must admit I didn’t appreciate all comments (such as “are you losing it on purpose? Or are you sick?” or from a new doctor when explaining how much I’d lost “Well – what pill were you prescribed..?”) I of course faced the same awkward silence when explaining that I had just been using an app to track my calories and exercise.

As a side note, around the 45kg loss mark, I started eating back my exercise calories. Mainly it was when I started running 5 k 3 times a week. This, I felt took a lot of energy and needed to be replaced. I read once that losing weight while heavy is completely different to losing weight while smaller and I believe this to be correct. I didn’t need those extra calories when I was heavier, obviously my body had plenty to burn up and use as I went, as I get closer to a healthier weight range I have worked at eating back my calories. So with eat back I avg around 1500-1900 a day, just for those who like those kinds of stats. I make no apology for my choices and really do believe they were the best ones for me. If I’d been hungry, if I’d gotten sick, whatever that would have been something I needed to address at the time. I did push my calories up and down as I went along, and I did lose while eating more so I know both ways are possible. I am a firm believer though that it is about moderation and knowing your body. I am not encouraging anyone to do it my way, and I’m not taking sides on which is the best approach but am more aware that people do get curious and it saves time if I’m upfront.

Back to the story - I have found the road surprising. From being treated different because of how I look, to not being recognized by people who haven’t seen me since before I started losing weight. I often feel not connected to this part of me though, since to me I’m still the same me. How I look hasn’t changed who I am, but I do understand that for others this is totally the truth, how I look completely changes how they see me.

I have learnt all sorts of things about myself in this past year. I like to hike, I can actually follow aerobic dance like Zumba, and I love, love LOVE archery! Running clears my head, and I couldn’t live without my 15k a week now. I don’t actually need those TV shows, and though yes I DO feel like I’m going to die when doing Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred, and I am pushing myself – its worth it to see those amazing results. I am braver than I thought I’d ever be, and I willingly put myself out there for challenges and changes, such as applying for overseas programs and trying new things with strangers.

I would like to say a quick thank you to my friends on MFP who have done a fantastic job and offering support to me over the last few months.

I would also like to say one thing I know is, don’t do it alone. My husband has been amazing at supporting me and has gone through an amazing transformation himself (lost over 43kgs!). Also surround yourself with supportive people. Don’t let enablers, holder-backers, people trying to keep you in their image of you or people who are looking for an eat buddy hold you down. I know it seems harsh, but just don’t let them be your main support group. My best has been my main support. He has a heart of gold and will always put my health and fitness in perspective and support me to make the right choices. Without these two men I am sure I would have failed in my task. My other friends, those who cheered me on, gave me feedback and talked me up when I was feeling down are amazing. They are the people you want around you, so draw them close, value them and love them for the wonderfulness they can support you in.

Now to the pictures! I made it my business to take pictures as things changed. Admittedly I don’t have a lot from early on because basically, I didn’t like having my picture taken (as many people would relate to) as I continued I have found it increasingly easier to document my loss through pictures. For anyone who is wondering – I would say TOTALLY track your loss in photos, I know its hard when you start, and totally uncomfortable – However – as many before me have noted – its SO worth it.

Oh! Also – thank you for reading all the way through, I know its long! For those just joining us – tut, tut, you shouldn’t scroll for pictures only

General stats:
Weight loss: 54kgs or 119lbs for our American readers ☺ My goal is to drop 60kgs in total. In the last 10 I’ve really slowed down and been focusing on building muscle. I am just going to slowly chip away at my goal or review it monthly with advice from my support people and doctors.
Measurement changes:
Hip: - 44.5 cm ( 17.5’)

Where it all started. Clocking in at our heaviest at my nephews christening in Aug 2012.

[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/becandjamesaug2012_zps633cc778.jpg[/img]

After a few months of weight loss.. (while surviving christmas with my family!) Feb 2013

[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/IMG_1372_zpscaf6f6c9.jpg[/img]

Comparison pic Aug 2012 to April 2013
[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/Image23-02-13at1209PM_zps8e9e87d9.png[/img]

Progress picture Sept 2012 to May 2013

[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/IMG_2919_zps18188289.jpg[/img]

Comparison pic seven years apart, same weight
[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobil Uploads/IMG_3402_zpsfe03f724.jpg[/img]

Back progression pic, current after doing one and half rounds of Jillian Micheal's 30DS
[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/backcomparison_zps8d6e4cfb.jpg[/img]

Face comparison
[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/facecomparison_zps04f3ddcf.jpg[/img]

Aug 2013
[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/photo1copy2_zps8af01052.jpg[/img]

Sept 2013
[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/photo_zps28fb41c1.jpg[/img]

Early Oct 2013

[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/becbluetop_zpsb43ab357.jpg[/img]

Comparison a year to the week Nov 2012 to Nov 2013
[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/12monthcomparison_zpsb2625f78.jpg[/img]
So far: Showing my hubs my final race day outfit.

[img]http://i980.photobucket.com/albums/ae285/Rebamay87/Mobile Uploads/photo3-21_zpsf39ae4b3.jpg[/img]

Thank you for reading and checking out the pics. I hope I inspired someone. I honestly never thought I'd get there but here I am. Frankly, if I can do it.. anyone can. Good luck everyone!