She F***ing Hates Me

Im sorry sweety. You deserve better than that. I will be praying for you both.

I always say you like me great :-) if you don't oh well. DOnt let it bother you. Not everyone will like you and vise verse. That is life. Dont let it get under your skin. I am not out in this world to impress others. Be true to who you are. People will like you for you!

I'm sorry that in the middle of the huge adjustment you are making someone seems to be making it more difficult. I would just ignore her behavior and take the high road--easier said than done. I wouldn't go out of my way to be rude but I wouldn't go out of my way to be nice either. Be polite and professional. Perhaps she was really close to another co-worker and is dealing (very poorly) with her feelings about him/her being relocated. Maybe time is all it will take and once she gets to know you better she'll feel like an *kitten* for acting like, well, an *kitten*. If not...her loss. We can't change people...only the way we react to them. Hang in there and hope you have a better day.

Why don't you just ask her (in a calm tone) what her problem is? Ask her what it is that you have done to cause her to act like that.

You could even confront her with your boss present. I am sure there should be no problem with having a grown up conversation about the situation. Because if something doesn't get resolved soon she is just going to keep making your life more miserable and eventually put your job in jeopardy potentially. Good Luck in whatever you decide.

Dani

Stop killing her with kindness and just plain kill her.

I'm kidding of course.

Personally, I would stop trying to be friends with her, she obviously doesn't want to know, so why continue trying? Treat her with basic respect, do not be rude to her, only communicate with her when you have to during work and unless she initiates the first move, stay away from her. If you don't, she could well find a way to report you for harrassment or bullying (stupid I know, but she may be looking for any excuse).

In my opinion and from what you have said, she is being unfair, but who knows what is going through her mind. It could be anything from jealousy to something you inadvertently said and she took offence to.

If you stop trying, after a few weks, she may eventually begin to come round and try to strike up a friendship with you (whether you would actually want to know by that time is another matter), but until that happens, ignore her.

Whatever happens, do NOT let her ruin your work or your time at work, you have to spend enough time there without it being like torture. Get to know the others where you work instead, maybe that will be enough to get her to come round xxx

^^^Exactly what I would do. I wouldn't waste my time on someone who obviously isn't interested or doesn't like me. I don't put effort in people who aren't willing to return that effort. I also agree with another post....do not supply her with ANY personal information. Chicks like that are just WAITING for an opportunity to use it against you! Good luck....I know that is a STICKY situation!

I work with women that I do not get along with and I can tell you it's HARD. I've gone home in tears, I've gone home so stressed that I'm physically sick, and I gone home so angry that I tune out my real friends.

Five years later, I've learned to deal with them in a more healthy way. One thing you can do to make things more easy on yourself is kill the cell phone use at work. You can talk to your mom at lunch or after work or through email if just has to be during your work hours. Then you have 2 options. You can ignore it and just don't talk to her outside of work related issues. I do not gossip/chit chat/ or converse in anyway with my co workers. I have no desire to. I would die if I had to fratenize with them. OR you could work up the courage to address her and tell her you're not sure what you've done, but you'd like to know so you can try and reverse it and see what she says.

Now, the fact she's gone to your boss....well...the cell phone thing is legite in my opinion. I can NOT stand it when my co workers go talk on their cell phones when I'm left working and battling meetings. Highly annoying indeed. But typing too fast is a trivial complaint. I'm sure your boss recognizes that. I eventually went to my boss after 3 years and told her how I felt. She told me if she took stock in what girls said I wouldn't still be there, but I do good work and she saw past what they'd tell her. But she appreciated me coming to her. I'd give your boss the same respect and just talk to her.

Personally, I would stop trying to be friends with her, she obviously doesn't want to know, so why continue trying? Treat her with basic respect, do not be rude to her, only communicate with her when you have to during work and unless she initiates the first move, stay away from her. If you don't, she could well find a way to report you for harrassment or bullying (stupid I know, but she may be looking for any excuse).

In my opinion and from what you have said, she is being unfair, but who knows what is going through her mind. It could be anything from jealousy to something you inadvertently said and she took offence to.

If you stop trying, after a few weks, she may eventually begin to come round and try to strike up a friendship with you (whether you would actually want to know by that time is another matter), but until that happens, ignore her.

Whatever happens, do NOT let her ruin your work or your time at work, you have to spend enough time there without it being like torture. Get to know the others where you work instead, maybe that will be enough to get her to come round xxx

I agree with this. Its not worth the energy to try and befriend her. Just go in and do what you have to do. Let your work speak for it self. can't please everyone.

You type to loud. (that is the funniest complaint that I have ever heard.)

There could be a jealously issue. She could be afraid that you will do a better job than her. Someone could have said something to that effect to her. You could be cuter than her?.....

Keep it professional and courteous. Use your cell in the conference room like you have been doing. If she keeps making complaints like she has been, she will eventually come off as a kook. Make other friends in the office and keep your mouth off of your unfriendly cube mate as much as possible.

Truth is, you can't be friends with everyone.

Ditto! I would just let this person go. Continue to do a good job at work. The only person you have to please is your boss.

Sometimes you have to make work fun.

When she leaves her desk, rearrange some things on it.

Talk quietly to her, so she can't really hear anything you're saying.

Throw your trash in her wastebasket. (this really bugs some people)

Good Luck! btw I really love the title of this thread.

hi something similar was happening with me- i started a new job a few months ago at this company. the woman who had my position before me retired and i'd taken over for her- The second i came in i was met with nothing but an attitude from this one particular woman[ i believe she was close to the lady who retired], she made my life a living hell for the first month or so at this company. She would talk down to me, roll her eyes at me, she would try to make me look bad any chance she got. she would scoff at me and talk under her breath as she walked away from my desk after an interections. she even went as far as calling me incompetant. It was awful, this was all going on under everyone's nose. Unfourtunatly i had to interact with her a lot so there was no avoiding her. she USED TO BE responsible for covering my desk on my breaks and i am responisble for distributing work to her. a few times i caught her removing staples then restapling papers that i had prepared for her [she didnt like the way i stapled things], throwing the staples around my desk, another time while she was covering my break she deleted a spreadsheet that i was working on. she even made me cry once.

I too tried to kill this woman with kindness but it was no use. I eventually had to go to my boss and have her get involved becuase it was getting rediculous. We ended up having a meeting and there wasnt much progress. i was actually appalled at my boss's reaction to my co-workers behavior, instead of scolding her she kind of made excuses for her and even asked HER to judge how i was taking to my new position. i was floored after that and did not see much improvement until the situation was taken to someone higher up and then one day everything was fine.

Later i had learned that this woman has a history of behavior problems. She's been talked to several times about her attitude and has been a menice to other newbies in past [ones who no longer work for the company might i add] It's my theory that she was told to shape up or ship out becuase shes been nothing but nice to be since this has all happened. I'm still really disappointed in how my boss handled the situation though. i feel like she was tring to cover for her or something, i dont repect that.

But anyway, do what you need to do. It's true that you are there to work not to make friends, not everyone has to like you but they will repect you. demand that. I hope things get better for you, all she may need is a small confrontation and then she'll make the adjustment on her own.

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Stop killing her with kindness and just plain kill her.

I'm kidding of course.

Get a spade and bury her under the staff car park, it's a great cardio workout :laugh:

This isn't weight loss related at all. I just moved to South Carolina and started a fabulous new job with the company I've been with for four years. The job is much like what I was doing in Texas so I feel pretty confident I'm doing a good job in the three weeks I've been here. I've already gotten praise and attention which is great, but I have one HUGE problem.....

I think that your answer is right there in your opening statement. She's jealous of you!

Think about it, you were transferred from another office within your company, that says alot about how they value you, you also said you have been getting alot of praise and attention! Hello, she views you as a threat to her comfortable little environment.

As others have said I would be polite to her and only talk to her about work related issues and just continue being yourself and doing your job.

Best of luck

Karen

Move back to TEXAS......................where everyone is friendly!!!! (yes, I'm from Texas!)