When to stop?

I'm 5' 4", and am currently 121lbs. I've lost around 35 pounds since the start of summer because I actually had time to take care of myself with less stress from school. Now I'm a freshman in college, and I'm really worried about gaining the weight back. It isn't anything about college (I lost the last 15 pounds since coming here), but it's just this obsessive worry looming over me.

Being Asian, I've always gotten a lot of flack when I was at my original weight. (Not that any other race/ethnicity is free from that, but a lot of Asian cultures are incredibly open about weight). I was called all sorts of names, and essentially publicly humiliated at every family gathering, and it overall really took a toll on my self confidence.

I've always been really self conscious about my weight and how I look, and even after losing the weight, I still look in the mirror very judgmentally and just don't want to stop losing weight. I just never feel like it's enough.

My mom has told me to stop losing the weight, but I really don't know if I want to. But I'm worried that perhaps my perception of myself is skewed because of years of insecurities. I just really don't know when to stop.



  • jaymek92
    jaymek92 Posts: 313 Member
    i'm 5'4" as well, and my ultimate goal is to get down to 130 pounds, because i'm pretty sure that where i'll look and feel best at. since you're asian and i'm white, though, i probably have a larger frame than you. most asian girls i know about our height try to get to 110-120-ish.
    normally, i would say stop wherever you're happy. however, it seems like, with you, happy won't be healthy. i would recommend taking advantage of any mental health services your school offers to help with your insecurities, fears, and self-confidence issues.
  • HealthyVitamins
    HealthyVitamins Posts: 432 Member
    I think a lot of people feel like that, I'm 5"4 and my goal is 110 - 115 pounds, I'm currently 119 and feel I still won't be happy at 110. However, I think for me I have to start weight training to change the composition of my body, rather than just being skinny fat like I am at the moment. Maybe this is something you could also consider if you are not happy with the way you actually look - you could look into doing weight training.
  • I think you're confusing weight for self-esteem. Perhaps you thought when I reach xlbs I'll be happy, confident or whatever. I think you need to seek some help from a professional - counsellor perhaps.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,574 Member
    Your BMI is at the low average range for your height.

    Your Mom, who I assume is also Asian, and thus may value slimness, says you should stop loosing.

    Perhaps you should listen? Stay where you are for a while and work on other ways of building your self-esteem. Looks change - and will eventually fade no matter what you do. Your personality, talents, and skills can build over a lifetime. Work on that.
  • Abowles27
    Abowles27 Posts: 30 Member
    I'm also Asian and a senior in high school. I'm about 5'3" and my goal was 105-110 pounds which is still a healthy BMI but really at the lowest end because I'm a cross country runner and runners usually are at the lower end to get better times. So normally, people are more in the middle for the healthy range so really you're at a really good weight. I think you should listen to your mom and also think about doing what other people said like maybe seeing a counselor to see if this is a serious problem or just some advice since a lot of teen girls have this problem too like my sister hasn't tried to do anything, but she always complains about how she is fat at the same height I am and 104 pounds. Would it help to ask a doctor or even a friend? That could help reassure you that you're at a good weight because I know I want to think at times my mom is wrong. I hope this helped.