56lbs to lose :( really need support

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Wannabeslim2811
Wannabeslim2811 Posts: 32
in Motivation and Support
I don't know how but it's literally like the weight issue has crept up on me.... like ive only just realized how big I've become. I'm 5ft 7, 214lbs and need to lose 56lbs to get to a normal weight. Accepting that I have almost 60lbs to lose is scary and made more difficult by the fact that I feel so depressed/low because of the weight. I tend to eat more when I'm stuck at home but I don't like going out because I'm ashamed of my size. So I stay in feeling bad get more depressed and comfort eat. It's a vicious cycle.

Does anyone have any tips/advice on how to start out....how to break the cycle? Every time I look in the mirror I just want to get back to bed and hide from the world.......how can I get the motivation to give it my best shot?
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Replies

  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
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    For me it was mind over matter. I had to make the choice to change. It has not been easy, I was wearing a 20wp and now I am in 4 and 6p. You can lose the weight....just set goals and never look back.
  • SweetieMelissa
    SweetieMelissa Posts: 68 Member
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    Hi :)
    I just added you.
    Good luck! :D
  • SpecialKitty7
    SpecialKitty7 Posts: 678 Member
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    same thing happened here, it was practically like i woke up fat one day. i think the first step you need to take is to change something to make you like yourself. i am also very large chested and i know how hard it is to get clothes to fit. i always wore baggy clothes to hide it. first thing i did was get some clothes that fit me well, so even though i was fat, i still looked good. then i began my quest to get fit.

    so i guess find what works for you. just remember that no one is thinking you look bad as you think you look, we're our own worst critics. there's a woman in my office that is similarly well endowed and she did the same baggy clothes thing. she felt awful and ugly (even though she's not). she actually got the breast reduction and even though she is just as heavy now as she was before, she feels beautiful and dresses that way. she's only just begun to 'healthify" her life, but she needed to feel good about herself first.

    So, find what makes you beautiful and then work on the rest. good luck!
  • mjf0461
    mjf0461 Posts: 470 Member
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    It just clicked for me one day after seeing a picture of myself posted on facebook. It really is what goes in your mouth and what you burn off. Set your goals and go. Add me if you need some motivation.
  • MalloryMelts
    MalloryMelts Posts: 28 Member
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    Just added you! I need more mmotivated people too! Anyone feel free to add me. Its taken me sone ups and downs to get here but im definitely dedicated!
  • Kailel
    Kailel Posts: 61 Member
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    Hey!

    I was 5'8" and 245lbs and it was hard to break the cycle for sure! (and even harder to keep going once it's broken!)

    There's no real 'how do you do this' pep talk because everyone's motivation is different! I started with walking to earn treats, like if I walked down the mountain I lived on and back up again for Chinese food, I could have some. Then, slowly, I made the connection that I felt better when I walked, so I'd walk for my groceries, and then when I was bored I'd walk, and I ended up walking pretty much everywhere... which was great when I was in college, but when I moved back home, my boyfriend didn't like walking so I stopped and gained 20lbs back, and here we are again and I just got back from another walk.

    My boss challenged me to a weight-loss competition, and so I'm doing it again. Most people find it helpful to have someone else there so you can motivate each other. Is there anyone close to you looking to lose weight? Or someone who's a healthy weight that exercises regularly that you can tag along with? It's always easier with someone helping you along, especially to start.

    Personally, I try to model my mindset towards people I'd like to emulate... mostly fictional ones actually, since they're usually able to do ANYTHING. I sometimes guilt myself into disaster mode, thinking how useless I'd be to my loved ones if something terrible happened because I'd be out of breath at the first block.

    Most important is to force yourself to go on a schedule, so you feel like you're *supposed* to be exercising right now instead of sitting down. ... wait, no, most important is to never feel bad about yesterday. If you miss a day or have a bad day and just eat a tub of ice cream and wallow, feeling bad about it isn't going to do anything but convince you to do it again. Yesterday is over, make it about having a better day today!

    Hope that rambling maybe helped a little. You can definitely do it, and it's definitely daunting, but if you set yourself to it, it'll slowly come off. :)
  • BennettV72
    BennettV72 Posts: 43
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    For me, it was fixing the inside first. Once I started actually liking myself, I found it much easier to diet. Yeah, I have a lot to lose (over 100lbs) but that doesn't define me as a person. Getting my outside to start matching the way I feel about my life is exciting and that's where I get my motivation from.

    I used to feel the way you do, but I've figured out that no one cares. That might sounds callous but really, very few people will take a look at you and think "Oh wow, she's really big." and absolutely NO ONE will look at you and think "Oh wow, she's really big. I wonder why she left the house today". Most people will just see you and think nothing about you because they are concerned with whatever is going on in their own lives. Don't let that idea stop you from leaving the house!

    You're certainly in the right place. Keep your chin up and we'll support you any way we can!
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    We have all been there, it is a vicious cycle for sure :flowerforyou:

    It is just a thing of taking each day at a time.

    What helped me was planning my `eating` day the night before...use the database put in your foods and work out the calories.

    Most important is to try to get in the exercise that you need to be incorporating. Add that exercise to give you some extra calories.

    Believe in yourself, if we can all do it, then you can do it too xx
  • JillianMarieSoto
    JillianMarieSoto Posts: 17 Member
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    First of all, you can lose the weight and you will with a bit of dedication and mindfulness. Stick to a small calorie deficit, hold yourself accountable and don't let indulgences sway you from getting right back into it the next day. I had the exact thing happen to me . I realized one day I was over 200 pounds and while I knew that I had gained weight, it was a shock to see just how much. I really recommend cutting back on "empty calories." I started by cutting out soda and beer and lost a bit of weight just doing that.

    Even just a few pounds of weight loss is excellent motivation to incorporate small amounts of physical activity. Start easy with half an hour walks, light yoga, anything just as long as you're moving around when you have a free moment. I never thought I'd enjoy running but after losing 48 pounds I was able to complete couch to 5k training and continue to run every other day. Its not easy and can be uncomfortable but it feels so good to respect my body again and know that I'm on a course for improvement.

    I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. Remember that maintaining a healthy weight is going to be a life long journey and one of the more difficult but most rewarding challenges there is.
  • wantingtoshredlbs
    wantingtoshredlbs Posts: 3
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    Hello I have the same issue all that I do is come home in deal with drama I did recently lose 15 pounds but now I just about gained it all back was at 227 went down to 212 now im back to 218 in im 5ft10 in im ashamed with the way I look but like I said my life is just filled with nothing but drama then I have stuff working on my conscious in i just cant deal with it so what do I do I decide to eat down 3000+ calories in gain all of the wheight just about back in 1 day maybe if everyone would stop giving me so much drama I could get my life together in finally get out of the obese range all that I understand about wheight loss is you create deficits from your bmr in so what that means is you eat anywhere from 250-1000 calories 250 being 1/2lb 500 being 1lb 1000 being 2lbs less then your bmr heres a very simple way of calculating it take how much you wheigh times 12 then create a deficit of no more then 1000 calories thats the fastest amount of wheight loss you shoud have which is 2lbs a week you should exercise on an empty stomach before you eat breakfast just drink a bottle of water that way when you eat you wont be burning off any calories from your food doesnt matter what your routine is in when you eat just exercise before eating youll still burn off fat you should never drop below 1200 calories your wheight loss will probablly become slower as you lose wheight but dont give up in remember dont restrict your calories anymore then 1200 well best of luck.
  • CintyPinky
    CintyPinky Posts: 5 Member
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    I am 5'7" and started at weight 216.8 lbs. I now weigh 203.8 lbs. Most of my life I had a small figure. I weighed 135-150 lbs normally. Once I got married, I gained a lot of weight. I sky rocketed up to 216 in less than a year!! It seriously crept up to me so I totally understand. I didn't even realize it until I saw a picture that a family member took of me and my husband off guard. It seriously takes step by step little by little to get back to where we should be. I encourage you to not put yourself down but instead just look at yourself and tell yourself that you deserve better. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Then try to make changes that will get you back to where you should be. Go for walks, slow jogs (its ok to stop once in a while, I still struggle running a mile...I stop about 2-3 times) but eventually you will get back to where you should be and you will be so proud of yourself! Try to focus on what you WILL be feeling/looking like and motivate yourself using that. :) If you ever need someone to talk, feel free to message me. We can encourage each other.

    Added you by the way.
  • Roaringgael
    Roaringgael Posts: 339 Member
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    Like everyone else, know how you feel. Big news though - other people don't really care about the way you look, they're too busy thinking about themselves. You are your own worst enemy. Be kind to yourself. Make a plan, do your best to stick to what you can!
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    Hello I have the same issue all that I do is come home in deal with drama I did recently lose 15 pounds but now I just about gained it all back was at 227 went down to 212 now im back to 218 in im 5ft10 in im ashamed with the way I look but like I said my life is just filled with nothing but drama then I have stuff working on my conscious in i just cant deal with it so what do I do I decide to eat down 3000+ calories in gain all of the wheight just about back in 1 day maybe if everyone would stop giving me so much drama I could get my life together in finally get out of the obese range all that I understand about wheight loss is you create deficits from your bmr in so what that means is you eat anywhere from 250-1000 calories 250 being 1/2lb 500 being 1lb 1000 being 2lbs less then your bmr heres a very simple way of calculating it take how much you wheigh times 12 then create a deficit of no more then 1000 calories thats the fastest amount of wheight loss you shoud have which is 2lbs a week you should exercise on an empty stomach before you eat breakfast just drink a bottle of water that way when you eat you wont be burning off any calories from your food doesnt matter what your routine is in when you eat just exercise before eating youll still burn off fat you should never drop below 1200 calories your wheight loss will probablly become slower as you lose wheight but dont give up in remember dont restrict your calories anymore then 1200 well best of luck.

    I'm sorry, but this is all just so WRONG on so many levels.

    put your stats into MFP, and let it tell you how much to eat.

    You will lose weight, even burn off fat, without having to do fasted workouts. I personally cannot do fasted workouts. I tried to eat a small breakfast ONCE, and almost passed out halfway through my workout. About the lowest I can safely go is 250 calories or so...then I eat another 200 calories or so in the parking lot of the gym.
  • Wannabeslim2811
    Wannabeslim2811 Posts: 32
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    Just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone that replied, and to those that added me to their friends list. I have been inspired by your comments, and it was comforting to hear that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. I feel really inspired now to really change my life. Thank you again I feel so much better now good luck to you all we will get there x
  • StormSparks1994
    StormSparks1994 Posts: 50 Member
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    Hey! You and I both similar in what we want and our start and finish weight. Biggest thing of all that you need is motivation imo, maybe get your friends to help and support you?
  • joyfuljoy65
    joyfuljoy65 Posts: 317 Member
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    Hello - I understand how you feel completely! And the best advice I can give is don't give up - it will take you a while to lose 56lbs. Set smaller goals - I did 3.5lbs goals (a quarter of a stone).... and treated myself to something when i got there. Some times that was every fortnight, sometimes that was once a month.... but keep going. Your body will feel so much better, and you will be able to look in the mirror and think - "ye gods, is that me? I look fantastic!!"
  • brown46545
    brown46545 Posts: 81 Member
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    You can totally do it. That's the exact purpose of MFP - there wouldn't be so many people (esp women) logging in here if it didn't work and we didn't have the camaraderie with each other. It does seem daunting in the beginning - so overwhelming. Just start with little things. Start moving a little bit more, eating less. Then you will start to see the scale move and that will motivate you to do more.

    When I am feeling tempted or bored or whatever, I go to the success stories part of the forum. I love this!!!!! And I think EVERY single person looks beautiful to me. That is my motivation.
  • ldelahanty1974
    ldelahanty1974 Posts: 25 Member
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    I am in a similar spot. I have a lot of weight to lose, and was just diagnosed with diabetes. I really felt sorry for myself and then I got really mad at myself for letting things get this out of control. I made goals, and decided to be in charge again. I was not going to let my attitude, or behavior become that way again. I also tried to get friends motivated to support me and themselves. I have two friends that walk with me and check in with me about my choices. This website is also really beneficial because I enter everything I eat and all of my exercise and I am able to see exactly where I need to improve. My biggest issue is getting enough calories, but staying under my goal for sugars and carbs....the balance is really tough. I have a cool 100 to lose still and I have already lost 16. But I have a weekly goal and worry about it just one week at a time, but I do hope to have lost it by next June. So, I have a goal of 100 pounds in about 32 weeks. I can do it if I lose about 3.5 pounds a week. So my goal is short term and long...I am just a plan kind of person. Right now I am losing about 5 pounds a week on average, but that is because I just started getting my metabolism going and once I equalize this will drop and I may have to look at my goals again. Anyway, you are not alone. You have to make this journey about you and you as a whole. Good luck
  • BarbarainMN
    BarbarainMN Posts: 19
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    I'm also 5' 7", and started my process at the end of September at 207.5 lbs. My old fitness instructor in Phoenix (I now live in Minneapolis) put me on a 30 day challenge, using highly nutritious meal replacement shakes for breakfast and lunch- strictly a 30 day plan to act as a jumpstart. It worked. I'm now past the 30 days and I still often do a shake for the breakfast, but I'm eating whole, healthy foods, very balanced, for all meals. Since my body is so completely nourished, I've amazingly had zero cravings. I've not had a soda for over 6 weeks, don't even crave it... and I've been addicted to diet soda for years. It's been a great beginning to my journey so far.

    I'm also working out regularly now, especially after losing some weight. As of today, I've lost 18.5 pounds which is just amazing to me in such a little time. It's totally worth it to find what works for you. If you want to chat with my old instructor, let me know. She is also helping 2 of my friends here, long distance, and making a difference for them too. Anyway, my general plan is to spread out my meals, get in a lot of veggies, quinoa, beans, greek yogurt, organic apples, brown rice, red grapes, avocado... my shopping basked always looks gorgeous. I'm also doing a lot of hot teas with an emphasis on detoxifciation
  • Misspropa
    Misspropa Posts: 24 Member
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    Loved reading all these motivating replies :) I've got a bit less to lose, but face the same challenges :/

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