Need help with 5 yr old daughter

Congrats on your progress! This is just what I would try; celebrate the number on the scale for her, whether it stays the same or not. Praise her every time she does something great, grades, games, a bite of food. Let her know she is wonderful and special, no matter what anyone else thinks of her. If she thinks she is great, the others won't matter. Assure her she is not a victim and help build up her confidence and self esteem. The higher it is, the harder to knock down.

Can she drink Pediasure or Carnation Instant breakfast? They are calorie dense and I think the chocolate is yummy.

Good luck!

Agreed, talk to a counselor. It's crazy that they would even think about that at 5.. And reassure her that she's perfect the way she is and doesn't have to worry about it one way or another.

I would do 3 things immediately as suggested above:

1. Get her counseling and see if someone specializes in this condition.
2, Get to know the aides who are in the cafeteria. Seriously, bake them some brownies from time to time or drop off coffee or whatever will keep them happy. If you do that, they will watch your child and ensure she eats. My wife is an elementary school teacher and says they will pander to whomever is nicest to them (the aides, not the teachers)...Although the teacher will help if asked.
3. Get rid of the scale and teach your daughter the difference between dieting (which you are doing) for health reasons and being healthy (which does not necessarily require a scale).

You're doing great, keep going. your daughter needs you not to give up!

I'd get some professional help now. With her complicated history and her current behavior, the whole family would benefit and needs to be involved. That being said, school officials need to be involved as well to ensure that any guidelines given by a professional are followed.

Good luck with her!

Definitely talk to a counselor. With her medical history and her seeing the impact of her friend's being overweight, you want to set her on the right path in terms of having a relationship with food that is healthy despite her body's lack of triggers for hunger.

Sending you good thoughts and hugs.

(My son and I have a genetic disorder, so I empathize with the added complexity that it adds to parenting).

Have you talked with your pediatrician & a dietitian? The advice to try Pediasure is a good one, because it has great calories & is well balanced for nutrition. We use in kids >1 y.o., as a sole source of nutrition, if they are unable to consume enough nutrition orally. You could use that as her beverage at meals, instead of milk, or a treat for snack time. If she loves milkshakes, use the Pediasure as a base for the shale in place of milk. You can also load her food up with things like real butter, cream, full fat cheese, peanut butter, ice cream, etc.

Has she ever seen her growth curve? You might ask the doctor to show her, or ask for one for you to keep at home. You could show her where she is supposed to be for age vs. her weight (height?) being well below the 5th percentile. I would address her need to weigh herself & concerns with obesity with her pediatrician. He/she may be able to alleviate her concerns with the growth chart, if not, then you can consider seeking counseling, although at her age I'm not sure she would understand the concepts of an eating disorder.

I would assume she is still in a fairly small size of clothing (4-5 or even toddler)? The progression to "older girls clothes" might serve as an incentive to eat. Maybe you could find an outfit she LOVES & work toward eating enough to fit into it. The American Girls collection has some adorable matching clothes for child & doll. With Christmas coming up, that might be a good investment to have "matching clothes" & work toward fitting into the dress that matches her doll. The same with "big girl" shoes.

I would also bring the comments made to her friend to the teachers attention. Kindergarden is way too early for a little kid to start getting bullied about weight. The teacher could address such things with the kids as a "class" rather than individually, which would most likely prevent more drama & "payback."

It's learned behavior.
Hide the scales, stop talking about weightloss in front of her. She gets upset about hiding the scales? She's a child, FFS, she probably gets upset when Scooby Doo is over.

Like I have just said, kids do what they see they parents doing. Take some responsibility and help your daughter have a healthy relationship with food. At 5 she doesn't need to be on a scale.

It's learned behavior.
Hide the scales, stop talking about weightloss in front of her. She gets upset about hiding the scales? She's a child, FFS, she probably gets upset when Scooby Doo is over.

Like I have just said, kids do what they see they parents doing. Take some responsibility and help your daughter have a healthy relationship with food. At 5 she doesn't need to be on a scale.

This.

My 5 year old does not see me on the scale. She does not hear me talking about losing weight. She hears me talking about getting healthier. This was a deliberate decision on my part, because I don't want my kids obsessing over the scale.

You need to get rid if the scales completely. You will have to weigh yourself else where. I do not let my kids watch me weigh myself as I am pretty obsessive abut it myself and do not want them to be the same. My girls are 4 & 6 do not know what they are, they like to stand on it just to see the lights and numbers, but I have not told them what it does. I really feel for you. Bug hugs. I agree get some help from a third party, but I almost think do not make too much of a big deal of it as girls love attention and this is the wrong sort of attention. Good luck.

Is there anything actually wrong with her current weight, adjusted for her height/age?

If not, I'm not sure I see what the problem is. The scale is a basic diagnostic tool - it would never even occur to me to hide it from my kids, it's a device they should learn to properly use.

Make sure to teach her about being nice and having manners and about bullying, too. The kids making her friend feel bad should be considered the 'bad' ones, very clearly, imho. I mean don't let her internalize bullying as meaning anything about anyone but the bully. At that age, I'd want my kids to be pretty righteous when someone is mean

I know they'll encounter it all the time, but it disturbs me that she'd try to avoid being like her friend for that reason instead of trying to avoid being mean like the bully (as the takeaway lesson). I'd make sure to let her know that her friend's weight is none of the bully kids' business, at all, and that they are being very bad when they make fun of her.

I would not have th scale available to her if she is weighing herself daily. A 5 year old does not need to weigh herself and it doesn't matter if she "gets mad" about not having a scale. She's 5. I would get professional help.

It's learned behavior.
Hide the scales, stop talking about weightloss in front of her. She gets upset about hiding the scales? She's a child, FFS, she probably gets upset when Scooby Doo is over.

Like I have just said, kids do what they see they parents doing. Take some responsibility and help your daughter have a healthy relationship with food. At 5 she doesn't need to be on a scale.

This.

My 5 year old does not see me on the scale. She does not hear me talking about losing weight. She hears me talking about
getting healthier. This was a deliberate decision on my part, because I don't want my kids obsessing over the scale.

Agreed! But I would also see if there is a doctor nearby who specializes in your childs disorder to get advice.

Talk to a counselor -- don't try to go it alone. You're absolutely right to be worried, but you need advice from a professional instead of strangers on the internet.

this. hope you can get help for her.