Eating Issues...Boyfriend..?

xLaPetiteFille
xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
in Health and Weight Loss
My boyfriend of 8 months has just recently left me, I am extremely depressed, devastated, and resisiting the urge to beg him to take me back. All of this is just taking a toll on me, at some days I would binge up unhealthy food, junk food, fast food, other days, or weeks, I would go starving, i think it is all related to my boyfriend-dumping me.

I am so heartbroken, and to top it all off, all my hard-work (I've lost around 30 lbs in total) is probably on the edge, I'm so worried, I don't know how to fix this. Any advice?
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Replies

  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    I'm really sorry for how you're feeling. I kind of remember feeling like that in my distant past. It passed eventually. Luckily I never had the urge to overeat during those times. I'm thinking you need to develop a hobby that doesn't involve food so you can keep yourself busy. Exercise is a great stress reliever and can make you feel better. Go out with friends as well and keep busy. I'm sorry and I hope you feel better soon. Ps if he left you and you didn't do anything horrible to make him do that then don't even think of begging him to take you back. I'm sure he's not some perfect end all be all person and you can find someone better. Move on.. nothing good ever comes of a woman begging her way back into a relationship, trust me.
  • christianrosa9000
    christianrosa9000 Posts: 8
    Damn thats rough, my ex gf (with a child, that i felt i was almost a father figure with) broke up with me over the phone, it felt horrible. I felt betrayed, but you know what life goes on. Just remember, in like 3 months, that person wont even pop in your head anymore. The way i see it, why is it worth chasing somebody that let you go. He should be chasing you, if he is not, its not meant to be.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    Use exercise to cope instead of overeating. It will make you feel better, with the added bonus of helping with your weight loss.
  • blably
    blably Posts: 490 Member
    im sorry hun! but try to look on this as a motivation, i am using the fcat that my ex cheated on me (with my best friend) as my butt kickin motivation to kick the losing it even harder...


    and now i hear hes sayin around that i am so broken thats why im losin weight...all i can say to him is just wait and see in a few months, youll be sorry as ****, i wont care, :)

    but theyre right, in 3 months itll be better, its been a month for me and its easier allready
  • adorable_aly
    adorable_aly Posts: 398 Member
    I found I had to keep busy, and rebuild my life. Make some plans, to take a trip, to advance your career, whatever gives you hope. Additionally socialise and see friends and family. Personally I found writing a journal really helped, especially in times when I wanted to call him.

    Secondly use him dumping you as motivation to feel and look better than ever before, and when that reason wears off, you'll realise you're worth doing it just for you.

    I completely lost my appetite when me and my ex broke up, but it came back after about a month :), honestly it was the best part of the break up because I was at my biggest just before we broke up :wink: every cloud has a silver lining haha!

    Start with small portions and eating things you genuinely enjoy, until your appetite returns to normal, and then think about more healthy choices and calorie goals :)

    Lots of hugs xx
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Use exercise to cope instead of overeating. It will make you feel better, with the added bonus of helping with your weight loss.

    This. And use it as extra motivation... you don't need him and you can look better without him.
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    Don't let his decision to leave get in the way of you taking care of yourself. As others said, use it as motivation. Shift your energy from anything to do with him and pour it into your personal goals.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    You're young, people are going to come in and out of your life as you get older. Not trying to come off as harsh but work on your self-esteem and emotional security, he may not be the only loss you face in life. Just do you.
  • workhardstaystrong
    workhardstaystrong Posts: 10
    hey this just happened to me too. we were so serious, he was always talking about moving in together and getting married in the future and suddenly he decided he wanted out. for me i couldn't eat at all at first and then i started eating to cope. like you, it's a constant battle for me because i've not gotten over him. what works for me is meeting new people and hanging out a lot with friends. i also started carrying a bottle of green tea and a pack of gum around so whenever i felt stressed about my breakup i'll tell myself to drink the tea and chew gum instead of eating. if however, the urge to binge is still there, i'd take one and ask myself if this would actually make me feel better or worse about myself in the long run. going to the gym helps to some extend but only if i have a workout buddy because what i really need is support and people to distract me.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Awww....hon. I'm so sorry. You're a gorgeous girl and you WILL move on. Just let yourself mourn the loss and then get right back out there! Good luck!
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    Awww....hon. I'm so sorry. You're a gorgeous girl and you WILL move on. Just let yourself mourn the loss and then get right back out there! Good luck!

    Thanks love,yeah currently mourning! ahah ;(
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    Thank you to everyone who replied here, i do feel much better, knowing I'm not the only one going through this, much love <3
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    I'm really sorry for how you're feeling. Move on.. nothing good ever comes of a woman begging her way back into a relationship, trust me.

    This was so well said sweetheart (: thank you for that advice
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    we were so serious, he was always talking about moving in together and getting married in the future and suddenly he decided he wanted out. for me i couldn't eat at all at first and then i started eating to cope. like you, it's a constant battle for me because i've not gotten over him.

    I hate how indeed it usually comes to all of that fantasy talk, sucks to find out it was all a waste of time, effort, planning, thinking..
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    You're young, people are going to come in and out of your life as you get older. Not trying to come off as harsh but work on your self-esteem and emotional security, he may not be the only loss you face in life. Just do you.

    Blunt and perfect, true, some people need a wake-up call. I've come to realize and accept that now, sort of
  • born2drum
    born2drum Posts: 731 Member
    But it was only 8 months? Am I missing something?

    Don't worry, you will find someone better. It's just a phase you will get over it.
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    Secondly use him dumping you as motivation to feel and look better than ever before, and when that reason wears off, you'll realize you're worth doing it just for you.
    honestly it was the best part of the break up because I was at my biggest just before we broke up
    Lots of hugs xx

    thanks for the hugs <3
    Funny fact is, the first time we broke up (but now for good), i was the biggest I ever was too! (: I love the fact that I'm like half what i used to be (:
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    But it was only 8 months? Am I missing something?

    Don't worry, you will find someone better. It's just a phase you will get over it.

    What part shocked you (:?
    I'm not sure what surprised you! (:
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    and now i hear hes sayin around that i am so broken thats why im losin weight...all i can say to him is just wait and see in a few months, youll be sorry as ****, i wont care, :)


    I feel ya, losing weight after a break-up and looking sexier than ever would make any ex regret it :p
  • xLaPetiteFille
    xLaPetiteFille Posts: 76
    Damn thats rough, my ex gf (with a child, that i felt i was almost a father figure with) broke up with me over the phone, it felt horrible. I felt betrayed, but you know what life goes on. Just remember, in like 3 months, that person wont even pop in your head anymore. The way i see it, why is it worth chasing somebody that let you go. He should be chasing you, if he is not, its not meant to be.

    I'd prefer a break-up over the phone, as compared to the sad reality of how we actually broke up.
    If you must know, he broke up with me via text consisting solely of emoticons.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    don't beg him back, strut your stuff, you lost weight, at least you did not gain weight, find someone who appreciates you and is good to you! Take it from me, don't waste your time on someone not worth your time,I spent too many yrs doing that until I found someone good and caring. And don't eat over him! Do positive stuff!
  • helpfit101
    helpfit101 Posts: 347 Member
    It's not about your boyfriend it's about you.

    We all have reasons to get depressed. So what are YOU going to do about it? Eat? Or.. ?
  • Sheamousemom
    Sheamousemom Posts: 17
    I have been where you are. Your self image is so hurt by being dumped that all things that contribute to are going to be off kilter for a while during the time it takes to get yourself back together. It makes sense that your diet/exercise routines are going to be affected. But try to keep that to a minimum he has already rocked your world off kilter don't give him any more power over you to make you more unhappy.

    It does get better, I promise

    :drinker:
  • Kadoober
    Kadoober Posts: 289 Member
    Breakups are the worst, and it's so easy to let yourself sink to a point where you're not taking care of yourself while you work through this.

    But... you are so young! And you're stunning (really, you are). Find something to distract you from the sad (exercise is great for this), and in a few months you'll be on to bigger and better things. Really. I promise.

    If you're feeling a bit vindictive... remember... living well is the best revenge. :D

    *hugs*
  • mrsmarit
    mrsmarit Posts: 229 Member
    Damn thats rough, my ex gf (with a child, that i felt i was almost a father figure with) broke up with me over the phone, it felt horrible. I felt betrayed, but you know what life goes on. Just remember, in like 3 months, that person wont even pop in your head anymore. The way i see it, why is it worth chasing somebody that let you go. He should be chasing you, if he is not, its not meant to be.

    I'd prefer a break-up over the phone, as compared to the sad reality of how we actually broke up.
    If you must know, he broke up with me via text consisting solely of emoticons.


    Oh god.. count your blessings. Obviously this guy is just an immature douche. You deserve better.

    Do as others have said, channel your emotions into bettering yourself. Take class, read a book, throw yourself into your workouts.


    You don't need food to make you feel better, it's just what's familiar and easiest.
  • travelcoffeemug
    travelcoffeemug Posts: 9 Member
    Focus on yourself. Pour your energy into making healthy food for yourself, getting into a new exercise routine, or some other hobby that you'll feel proud of. Tackle a project that you've been meaning to do. What you're going through really, truly sucks (I've been there), but trust that it WILL pass; until it does, you just have to stick it out.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Success and happiness are your best revenge. For now since the wounds are still fresh...it's best to get away from food. Sleep more or just go soak in the tub and cry if it makes you feel better. Take care of yourself now before those "wounds" become infected.

    As they heal, and he becomes a distant stain on your memory, then you can regain focus and get back on your healthy track.

    I know this is the hard one but you need to get rid off all forms of communication. Delete numbers, FB accounts, email addys, everything you can. Get rid of pictures, get rid of presents (at least the cheap ones I keep the jewelry), and focus on yourself. Heal you can do it.
  • TigerBite
    TigerBite Posts: 611 Member
    Use exercise to cope instead of overeating. It will make you feel better, with the added bonus of helping with your weight loss.

    THIS, THIS, THIS!
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    you are heart broken over a guy that broke up with you over a text? Don't throw your weight loss away for anybody especially a coward who was not even man enough to say it to your face. Learn to deal with the loss because as you get older there will be more, don't dwell on it, life happens and you will pull through.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    you also mention in your profile that you may suffer from an ED, please get help for that and see if you do have one.

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