Unsupportive Spouse

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2

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  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    My husband has been amazingly supportive this time around, but we did have to have a serious discussion about my plans for weight loss surgery, why I wanted to do it and what I needed from him to be successful at it. He stepped up to the plate nicely despite his concern that my losing weight would hurt us. That was his insecurity and he knows it. He hasn't made all the changes I have and that's OK. This is my journey, my responsibility. He also needs to be better about eating healthy, but that has to be his decision.

    Your spouse may be feeling insecure within him/herself, fearing that the as you start looking better you will be getting more attention and that you may at some point decide you can do better. Point being that this may not be about you.
  • JamericanBoy
    JamericanBoy Posts: 484 Member
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    Did anyone even bother to notice that OP is male. Almost all the quotes I've read made the immediate assumption that he was female and the unsupportive spouse was being a male a**hole.

    *le sigh*
  • RunWinterGarden
    RunWinterGarden Posts: 428 Member
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    Did anyone even bother to notice that OP is male. Almost all the quotes I've read made the immediate assumption that he was female and the unsupportive spouse was being a male a**hole.

    *le sigh*

    Duh, because we are the only ones who can be bad spouses.
  • Echo_Dan
    Echo_Dan Posts: 310 Member
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    Well I am a guy and my other half is incredibly unsupportive. Mother in law as well. Both of them actively sabotage me. It is very annoying grrr
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I choose to focus on the ways in which my spouse IS supportive. My husband never thought that I needed to lose any weight, and he wasn't interested in losing weight either. I'm the one who wanted to shape up, and that only happened when I took responsibility for myself. I cook, so he ends up eating healthy meals. He eats whatever snacks he wants. Exercise has been a different story. He agreed to join the gym, and we both go. My husband enjoys outdoor activities, and we get a lot of exercise together.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    No you are not.

    I am lucky mine is quite supportive as is my son. Built me a squat rack, bought me new bars for my Bday...

    But that being said......spouses who are not supportive typically are scared you are on your way out.....not to the gym either.

    That you are going to get all healthy and fit and hot and see something you like better outside the home, or they are selfish and want all of your attention, or they are missing the time spent with them now that you spend it on yourself.

    Open communication is the key find out why they aren't supporting you then fix the issue and that doesn't mean giving up on what you want it means letting them know their fears are unfounded, and spending more time with them....unless they are just being selfish....that is on them not you.
  • TheBackStory
    TheBackStory Posts: 263
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    Did anyone even bother to notice that OP is male. Almost all the quotes I've read made the immediate assumption that he was female and the unsupportive spouse was being a male a**hole.

    *le sigh*

    Duh, because we are the only ones who can be bad spouses.

    Not true, women suck too
  • RunWinterGarden
    RunWinterGarden Posts: 428 Member
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    Did anyone even bother to notice that OP is male. Almost all the quotes I've read made the immediate assumption that he was female and the unsupportive spouse was being a male a**hole.

    *le sigh*

    Duh, because we are the only ones who can be bad spouses.

    Not true, women suck too

    Well aware of that, sarcasm doesn't always come through.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    Did anyone even bother to notice that OP is male. Almost all the quotes I've read made the immediate assumption that he was female and the unsupportive spouse was being a male a**hole.

    *le sigh*

    Actually, I assumed OP was female because 99% of the time it is women moaning that their husbands dare to eat cake in front of them when they are on a diet. Men usually aren't as sensitive,
  • RunWinterGarden
    RunWinterGarden Posts: 428 Member
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    Did anyone even bother to notice that OP is male. Almost all the quotes I've read made the immediate assumption that he was female and the unsupportive spouse was being a male a**hole.

    *le sigh*

    Actually, I assumed OP was female because 99% of the time it is women moaning that their husbands dare to eat cake in front of them when they are on a diet. Men usually aren't as sensitive,

    We are, we just don't usually talk about it as much.
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
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    Oh, god, do I have zero support from SWMBO. It finally came to a head when she told me "You don't have to lose weight for me" and I replied, "I'm not doing it for YOU, it's for ME."

    She did not like this one bit, let me tell you.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Are you supporting herfully in everything she does? Maybe she feels the same about you?
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    You're not alone. I was there. I divorced mine though.
  • Vivian06703188
    Vivian06703188 Posts: 310 Member
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    Did anyone even bother to notice that OP is male. Almost all the quotes I've read made the immediate assumption that he was female and the unsupportive spouse was being a male a**hole.

    *le sigh*

    I noticed. I think they are just commenting on the type of spouse they have. Though some have assumed the the unsupported was male. No need to be abusive to people who made an innocent mistake :)
  • arrseegee
    arrseegee Posts: 575 Member
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    He's still a sexy beast, just minus the ripped part.

    That really made me laugh!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Am I the only one dealing with an unsupportive Spouse?

    I suggest you do a forum search for the words "unsupportive spouse" or "unsupportive husband" and you'll have the answer to your question. :-)

    I haven't read the thread, but how do you define "unsupportive"?
  • SweetJoanne
    SweetJoanne Posts: 106 Member
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    i think if you have a spouse or partner who is unsupportive of you then it is not a good relationship, I would be very unhappy if my partner did not support me, after all it is for their benefit too. If you are not married I would say dump them
  • dorkof82
    dorkof82 Posts: 135 Member
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    i used to have one, and i swear he would secretly try to sabbotage me too... whatever, i kicked him to the curb years ago :) sorry you're dealing with it :(
  • mikeykhan2003
    mikeykhan2003 Posts: 177
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    Can you please post examples of how your spouse is unsupportive so I can laugh at all the 'you should leave him' replies that will inevitably follow?

    Dump him. He doesn't deserve you.

    (I know I jumped the gun but I'm a giver !)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    i think if you have a spouse or partner who is unsupportive of you then it is not a good relationship, I would be very unhappy if my partner did not support me, after all it is for their benefit too. If you are not married I would say dump them
    LMAO

    People come here complaining that their SOs are unsupportive simply because the SO eats food that the OP wouldn't eat or doesn't like to exercise. You would dump someone because that person isn't comforming to your new and sudden change in routine, even if that person is not actually preventing you from doing what you want?

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