too self conscious for heavy lifting
pojinx
Posts: 34 Member
This is less of a question and more wanting to get feedback from both guys and gals.
I have been exercising regularly for over 2 years and probably plateaued about a year ago. I've varied my workouts from a lot of cardio (jogging), yoga of all types, to light weight training. NOTHING gave me the results I liked as fast as I wanted better than light weight lifting (and maintaining my diet).
Now I belong to a gym that is always crowded and has a ton of bigger guys that need the weight section. There is only a small section for free weights and it is always crowded. I've always wanted to really get into heavy lifting but I am so self conscious and nervous about going over there and trying to find room and trying to not make a fool of myself. I want to just let go of these worries but it has kept me from starting it every day. My boyfriend goes to the same gym and can help me and everything but I just get worried/awkward about finding room and going through with these exercises.
Does anyone else have this problem? How did you get past it? And guys, how do you really feel about the small girl pushing her way in with the guys?
I have been exercising regularly for over 2 years and probably plateaued about a year ago. I've varied my workouts from a lot of cardio (jogging), yoga of all types, to light weight training. NOTHING gave me the results I liked as fast as I wanted better than light weight lifting (and maintaining my diet).
Now I belong to a gym that is always crowded and has a ton of bigger guys that need the weight section. There is only a small section for free weights and it is always crowded. I've always wanted to really get into heavy lifting but I am so self conscious and nervous about going over there and trying to find room and trying to not make a fool of myself. I want to just let go of these worries but it has kept me from starting it every day. My boyfriend goes to the same gym and can help me and everything but I just get worried/awkward about finding room and going through with these exercises.
Does anyone else have this problem? How did you get past it? And guys, how do you really feel about the small girl pushing her way in with the guys?
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Replies
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I walk around my gym like I owe it lol. Basically just get in there. They had that feeling, I am sure, when they first started. I know a lot of times taking someone with you, like a lifting partner, seems to help out. If its to crowded around the weight section, grab what you need and find a spot just for you to lift.0
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Just get in there and do your thang lol. They won't mind....though some of them will probably try and talk to you, give you pointers...you can listen at first to their advice....if it don't work, then just ignore them
Perhaps go there with your boyfriend and work out together....I know it can be a pain, esp. if you aren't at the same "level"...since you'll be juggling plates arounnd...but just a suggestion If you are working out together they probably won't even bother you... 0 -
I'm generally too busy with my own workout to really notice what other people are doing. IMO, claim your spot and do your work... no one is going to die if you take their squat rack for 20 minutes. If you're that worried about it, then carry whatever weights you want to use to a less crowded area and do your work there. Obviously that's harder for lifts that require benches/cages/etc, but for things like rows you can carry a barbell and a few plates to where ever there is space.
This will probably sound rude, but no one cares about you. People don't notice you half as much as you think they do.0 -
It's scary because it's new. Once you get over there and get familiar with the equipment, you will be kicking yourself that you didn't go sooner. Guys are not intimidating - at all. You don't even have to look at anyone if you don't want to. Look up a good program, New Rules of Lifting for Women or even Jaime Eason's twelve week program, just to get you familiar with some of the exercises.It's much easier to go in with a plan, rather than walk around aimlessly.
Pick up a 15lb dumbbell, try it for an exercise, if it's too heavy go to 12.5, if it's too light go up to 20. Start using just the barbell with no weights. We all started somewhere; I started with a PVC pipe, not even the barbell.
Do not let your fear dictate this; just go over there. Ask a staff member to show you some exercises or to watch your form. It's not scary. I promise.0 -
Can you go in the morning when it's less crowded? Do you have another friend who can go with you? My friend and I started NROLFW about a year ago and it was much less intimidating starting out together. It only took a couple of times before I was confident in what I was doing and had no issues going on my own. I've also made friends with some of the guys that are there regularly and found that most of them have a lot of respect for women who are lifting. And really you have just as much of a right to be there as they do so just walk in like you own it and do your thing!0
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Honestly when I first started working out I had the same feelings. I was overweight and new to lifting. Very intimidating to walk into a gym filled with bigger dudes, being weak and not wanting to do anything dumb. Just like you I knew its what I really wanted to do though.
Did my best to learn proper form on all the lifts and copied a program off the internet so I knew what lifts I was going to do. It was crap body builder split program but it was better than walking around not knowing what I was doing next. I think this helped me the most.
Second most helpful thing was a set of headphones and making no eye contact with anyone else. Seems silly to me now but I might have given up without doing this.
Now that I have been going regularly for over 2 years I realize I never had anything to worry about. Most people dont pay much attention to what others are doing or are just glad to see others lifting weights.0 -
1. Familiarize yourself with the equipment and what lifts you're going to perform through videos on Youtube and other online resources.
2. Have a routine/plan before going to the gym.
3. Walk in there and act like you belong (because you do). Get to your workout and focus on that instead of people around you.
4. If someone is using something you need, the usual way to show you need to use it too is to ask them when they are resting "how many sets do you have left?" or "how much longer are you going to be?" I wouldn't ask to work in with someone until you're comfortable enough just working out on a piece of equipment by yourself.0 -
1. Familiarize yourself with the equipment and what lifts you're going to perform through videos on Youtube and other online resources.
2. Have a routine/plan before going to the gym.
3. Walk in there and act like you belong (because you do). Get to your workout and focus on that instead of people around you.
4. If someone is using something you need, the usual way to show you need to use it too is to ask them when they are resting "how many sets do you have left?" or "how much longer are you going to be?" I wouldn't ask to work in with someone until you're comfortable enough just working out on a piece of equipment by yourself.
Excellent advice.0 -
Is your boyfriend familiar with the free weights room himself? I'd get him (or get a trainer or staff member) to walk you through a busy day there the first couple of times. Note the etiquette every bit as much as the lifts you'll be doing
Then you should be good, I think. Have fun!
Oh, on the staff member, I'd go to the reception desk at your gym and explain what you are looking for there. Don't just grab a random staff member for more than a minute, because he or she is probably supposed to be doing something else if you don't let them plan for you. I don't know if all gyms give help in the weight room for a newbie, but it's always worked for me where I go (the Y and hotels).0 -
Much like everyone else said. You paid your membership like everyone else, don't feel like you're less entitled to be in the weight room because you're female. Just remember what we learned in kindergarden, along with some basic social common sense, and you'll be golden. I second the NROLFW (New Rules of Lifting for Women), the Cosgroves rock!0
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I'm so glad I found this forum. I recently joined a gym and I want to start lifting weights, but I feel so awkward and out of place. Some really great advice here... I'm definitely going to check out You Tube and make sure I have a plan before the next time I go!0
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First, most of the guys there probably are new too and don't know what they are doing, so they are feeling just as self-conscious as you. Secondly, if you do encounter someone that is rude to you, then they are jerks and you don't need to worry about the opinion of a jerk. (However, my personal experience is that most people are really super nice.) Thirdly, most experienced people are going to be nice to you and polite. In fact, some may offer to help. I've had guys tell me "good job" or "You can do it" when I am struggling with a lift.
Also, I would say having a plan when you walk in is good. I like this advise:1. Familiarize yourself with the equipment and what lifts you're going to perform through videos on Youtube and other online resources.
2. Have a routine/plan before going to the gym.
3. Walk in there and act like you belong (because you do). Get to your workout and focus on that instead of people around you.
4. If someone is using something you need, the usual way to show you need to use it too is to ask them when they are resting "how many sets do you have left?" or "how much longer are you going to be?" I wouldn't ask to work in with someone until you're comfortable enough just working out on a piece of equipment by yourself.0 -
Bring a friend or get a PT to work with you on weights. It makes it easier to break the ice over there and build up confidence.0
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Once you get in there and do it a couple of times, it's no biggie and you'll wonder why you were so fussed about it. And really, unless you're doing something off the wall then nobody is really paying a whole lot of attention to you...most are pretty tuned out to what is going on around them and they're just putting in their work.
Look into an actual lifting routine and follow that routine...it should focus primarily on the big compound lifts...some routines have accessory work and some don't. Typically, heavy refers much more to the rep range than it does the actual weight..."heavy" is generally synonymous with "strength" work in the 3-5 rep range where the weight you are pushing/pulling has you close to failure but still able to perform the exercise with good form on your last rep. I'm partial to Starting Strength as a beginner routine and Strong Lifts is good as well. You could also look into New Rules...it's a pretty good read even if you don't end up working that routine.
Having a routine, you will avoid the "lost puppy dog" look that many have who are just sort of willy nilly picking up heavy things and putting them down. Also remember that you have just as much right to the equipment as anyone else does...you belong there just as much as the next guy0 -
Yeah you gotta do the research and not care what people think.
Most people do not know what they're doing in a gym. They're all different degrees of bad, poor form, wrong ideas. So don't worry about it. This is about you not them.
Just start looking up exercises on youtube. Whatever you're interested in, do a search. Find videos showing proper form. Just copy what they do and pay attention to the details. You'll get it.0 -
What is with these insecure "scared of the gym" posts lately. Geez, the first time I walked into a gym I was 95lbs soaking wet. Back in the 90's it was still ok for people to poke fun and bully. It was harsh, people laughed at me and made fun, but guess what I stayed and kept going back. When you want something bad enough then nothing can stand in your way.0
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This is less of a question and more wanting to get feedback from both guys and gals.
I have been exercising regularly for over 2 years and probably plateaued about a year ago. I've varied my workouts from a lot of cardio (jogging), yoga of all types, to light weight training. NOTHING gave me the results I liked as fast as I wanted better than light weight lifting (and maintaining my diet).
Now I belong to a gym that is always crowded and has a ton of bigger guys that need the weight section. There is only a small section for free weights and it is always crowded. I've always wanted to really get into heavy lifting but I am so self conscious and nervous about going over there and trying to find room and trying to not make a fool of myself. I want to just let go of these worries but it has kept me from starting it every day. My boyfriend goes to the same gym and can help me and everything but I just get worried/awkward about finding room and going through with these exercises.
Does anyone else have this problem? How did you get past it? And guys, how do you really feel about the small girl pushing her way in with the guys?
Just go in there with your head held high, and do your thing!
I am only 5'2" tall, and obviously obese. I squat 3 days a week, and I think pretty much EVERYBODY knows it now. In the last 4 months, I think I have only seen someone in the squat rack at "my" time. I walked up and asked him if he could let me know when he was done, and he did.
I get nods from people who happen to be using the benches behind me, and people rubber neck on the track in front of me. I had one lifter guy comment " wow! I haven't seen anyone do overhand grip front squats in AGES"0 -
This is less of a question and more wanting to get feedback from both guys and gals.
I have been exercising regularly for over 2 years and probably plateaued about a year ago. I've varied my workouts from a lot of cardio (jogging), yoga of all types, to light weight training. NOTHING gave me the results I liked as fast as I wanted better than light weight lifting (and maintaining my diet).
Now I belong to a gym that is always crowded and has a ton of bigger guys that need the weight section. There is only a small section for free weights and it is always crowded. I've always wanted to really get into heavy lifting but I am so self conscious and nervous about going over there and trying to find room and trying to not make a fool of myself. I want to just let go of these worries but it has kept me from starting it every day. My boyfriend goes to the same gym and can help me and everything but I just get worried/awkward about finding room and going through with these exercises.
Does anyone else have this problem? How did you get past it? And guys, how do you really feel about the small girl pushing her way in with the guys?
A few years ago I used to go to a really `heavy male populated` gym and I felt exactly like you have been feeling. (My hubby trained there also) You know what I did.. I spoke to the owner and told him that he could increase his revenue if he made an area that was more female friendly. They guy (owner) took it on board and set times of the day that were women exclusive. He has since opened another gym (knocked thru to the other place) Albeit, one is cardio equipment and the original one is weights, but he has a greater turnout of males/females.
Other than that just get in there and do your thing x0 -
Just go.0
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You will get over it. After a while it will seem like no big deal.0
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Just go in there and do it. That's it.
You might find it awkward the first few times, then you'll feel like you belong.
The "big guys" are just people. Like people, some are really nice, some are jerks. You can't let that stop you.
If there is some equipment you need to use, and someone else is using it, it's okay to ask how many sets they have left (when they are in-between sets) and even ask if they can let you know when they're done, so you can go next.0 -
want to read the advice later.0
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Excuse the spelling and language.
On top of what everyone else has said: There comes a day in your life when you need to just take a deep breath and say "F every one of you mo fos. I'm doing my sht and if you get in my way I will walk all over your godamned face btch"
I think it's that day.0 -
I started off by working out the time of day the gym is at it's quietest - which is around 8.15-9.15. The early morning crowd are heading for work and the parents that have to drop their kids off haven't arrived yet -so it's peaceful. This gave me some time to build my confidence, work on my form and feel comfortable being in the free weights area.
Now I use it like I own it! I don't care what time of day it is, who is there and what they are doing. I am there to do what I need to do and get the hell out of there! As for the big boys, they don't care what I am doing either, cos they are too busy doing their own thing so they too can get the hell outta there!
I have been using that gym on and off in the mornings for the past 6 years and have spoken and got to know (as much as you do in the gym) more people in the last 6 months than I have in the whole time I was there!
The guys have been friendly, they have helped me out with moving weights around and they have offered to spot me! I have even wondered on the odd occasion if I am being checked out.......but I reckon they just want to copy my form!!
Go for it, you won't regret it!!0 -
This is less of a question and more wanting to get feedback from both guys and gals.
I have been exercising regularly for over 2 years and probably plateaued about a year ago. I've varied my workouts from a lot of cardio (jogging), yoga of all types, to light weight training. NOTHING gave me the results I liked as fast as I wanted better than light weight lifting (and maintaining my diet).
Now I belong to a gym that is always crowded and has a ton of bigger guys that need the weight section. There is only a small section for free weights and it is always crowded. I've always wanted to really get into heavy lifting but I am so self conscious and nervous about going over there and trying to find room and trying to not make a fool of myself. I want to just let go of these worries but it has kept me from starting it every day. My boyfriend goes to the same gym and can help me and everything but I just get worried/awkward about finding room and going through with these exercises.
Does anyone else have this problem? How did you get past it? And guys, how do you really feel about the small girl pushing her way in with the guys?
A few years ago I used to go to a really `heavy male populated` gym and I felt exactly like you have been feeling. (My hubby trained there also) You know what I did.. I spoke to the owner and told him that he could increase his revenue if he made an area that was more female friendly. They guy (owner) took it on board and set times of the day that were women exclusive. He has since opened another gym (knocked thru to the other place) Albeit, one is cardio equipment and the original one is weights, but he has a greater turnout of males/females.
Other than that just get in there and do your thing x
Yaaay equality.
Let's not work out around men, god forbid they see us sweat.
Penises are incredibly intimidating, I need those as far away from me as possible when I tone my muscles.
If someone directed you to the "women's side" of a restaurant, movie theater, or anything else, it would be sexist. Somehow, with gyms is okay.
We can't pick and choose "equality" ladies.0 -
Excuse the spelling and language.
On top of what everyone else has said: There comes a day in your life when you need to just take a deep breath and say "F every one of you mo fos. I'm doing my sht and if you get in my way I will walk all over your godamned face btch"
I think it's that day.
Love this!0 -
1. Familiarize yourself with the equipment and what lifts you're going to perform through videos on Youtube and other online resources.
2. Have a routine/plan before going to the gym.
3. Walk in there and act like you belong (because you do). Get to your workout and focus on that instead of people around you.
4. If someone is using something you need, the usual way to show you need to use it too is to ask them when they are resting "how many sets do you have left?" or "how much longer are you going to be?" I wouldn't ask to work in with someone until you're comfortable enough just working out on a piece of equipment by yourself.
All of this.
At first I felt self-conscious. Now I walk in like I own the place. I'm on friendly terms with the other regular lifters. It just takes some time, and the guts to get started.0 -
I am terrified to go into the weight section. I went once and only for like 15 minutes. I usually use the weight machines, but i know its not the same. I feel pathetic. I bought NROLFW and I'd like to start it. I wish I had another female to go with me, but not that lucky lol
Once I finish insanity, I'm going to try.0 -
This is less of a question and more wanting to get feedback from both guys and gals.
I have been exercising regularly for over 2 years and probably plateaued about a year ago. I've varied my workouts from a lot of cardio (jogging), yoga of all types, to light weight training. NOTHING gave me the results I liked as fast as I wanted better than light weight lifting (and maintaining my diet).
Now I belong to a gym that is always crowded and has a ton of bigger guys that need the weight section. There is only a small section for free weights and it is always crowded. I've always wanted to really get into heavy lifting but I am so self conscious and nervous about going over there and trying to find room and trying to not make a fool of myself. I want to just let go of these worries but it has kept me from starting it every day. My boyfriend goes to the same gym and can help me and everything but I just get worried/awkward about finding room and going through with these exercises.
Does anyone else have this problem? How did you get past it? And guys, how do you really feel about the small girl pushing her way in with the guys?
A few years ago I used to go to a really `heavy male populated` gym and I felt exactly like you have been feeling. (My hubby trained there also) You know what I did.. I spoke to the owner and told him that he could increase his revenue if he made an area that was more female friendly. They guy (owner) took it on board and set times of the day that were women exclusive. He has since opened another gym (knocked thru to the other place) Albeit, one is cardio equipment and the original one is weights, but he has a greater turnout of males/females.
Other than that just get in there and do your thing x
I have to say I kind of hate the idea of having women's only times, days, or sections. It would make me feel much less welcome in the gym.
I've never heard of this idea until today and it's come up in at least two threads.0 -
I have been using that gym on and off in the mornings for the past 6 years and have spoken and got to know (as much as you do in the gym) more people in the last 6 months than I have in the whole time I was there!
The guys have been friendly, they have helped me out with moving weights around and they have offered to spot me! I have even wondered on the odd occasion if I am being checked out.......but I reckon they just want to copy my form!!
Go for it, you won't regret it!!
I've only been going to my gym for about 2 years, but probably 6 staff members know me by name. About the same number of regulars know me by name too. I have been known to walk up to someone having issues on a machine, and help them when staff is not available.
I definitely have had some times where I thought I might be getting checked out, and it makes me smile ALL day long.0
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