A vent on feeling lonely at nights :P

MissObstinatiox
MissObstinatiox Posts: 275 Member
in Chit-Chat
So i,m wondering if i,m the only one who generally feels like this.
All day i,m fine and have loads to do and workout daily etc.
In the evenings when i,m alone and bored i really feel like i,m the only one feeling like this!

I have gone down the route of talking to people online etc and struggle to find anyone who is the u,k with similar issues of focusing on working out and generally working towards goals and feeling lonely at nights with no one to talk to.

I don,t always want to result to having to workout or go to bed early because of boredom.
As i said it,s the nights and all i seem to get as of late is people asking for KIKS which then result to wanting to trade pics etc...

Is it just me being naive in thinking that people do generally want to get to know someone?

Can you generally find a SO online in a place like this?
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Replies

  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Do you live in a small town? or do you have options in night activities?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Any clubs or organizations you might join? Sports leagues? Church activities? Etc?
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    Run club has a lot of fine specimens.
  • MissObstinatiox
    MissObstinatiox Posts: 275 Member
    A really remote place in the middle of nowhere.should of also mentioned i have a 3 year old so limited as to going out :)
    All my time is spent with him which of course is not a issue as he is awesome!
  • BL_Mark
    BL_Mark Posts: 183 Member
    My wife and I met on eHarmony.com..... I worked full time in an office and she was a 3rd grade teacher. Neither of us had the opportunities to meet a SO and were both tired of the bar scene. We've been happily married for 7 years this December. NOW... online dating isn't for everyone. You have to go in with a very open mind and cannot be naive to the fact that there are scammers out there. But like Chaelez said... check into some sports leagues, church activities...good luck.... :o)
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    I think I understand in a different way... I am an extravert so I need to be around people ALL THE TIME. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how many friends I have or how many activities I am engaged in, I will forever need a roommate or roommates because going home to no one is not ideal for extraverts lol. I get so bored and restless when there isn't someone else around. As far as an SO filling that void, nah not for me.

    Definitely find some group activities to do in the evenings. As someone suggested sports leagues are a good one! Maybe you'll find someone who also enjoys fitness. Isn't there a meet-up website to find meet-ups for likeminded people? maybe try something like that.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    A really remote place in the middle of nowhere.should of also mentioned i have a 3 year old so limited as to going out :)
    All my time is spent with him which of course is not a issue as he is awesome!

    Well, there are plenty of carring men looking for a wonderful hot mom. I realize it takes more time to develop that and test the waters to make sure it is good for you and your child, but you gotta start somewhere.

    All the best.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I've taken up twerking, hallway speed skating, dancing in shower, and shake weight shaking. There are many things I've done to keep myself occupied and am perfectly happy doing these things alone.

    Loneliness isn't because you don't have someone around. Loneliness is a state of mind. I know this, because divorce taught me that.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    As young and naive as you appear to be, I'm going to suggest that you don't look for a SO online and especially not here. There are good guys out there and good guys on this site. But this site is also full of women with self-esteem issues who hand over one "progress pic" after another to every sleazy guy on here who asks for one. Therefore, said sleazy guys expect that all they need to do is ask and that all women will be equally receptive to their insulting overtures. If you're here to get or stay fit and healthy and you happen to come across an awesome guy in the process, great. But if you're on here looking for that, I'd advise you to look elsewhere.

    If you're bored and don't have much of a social circle, just go out and try to make new friends. Go to a coffee shop and talk to someone. Find a group that is focused on something you like to do (book club, running club, whatever). Volunteer at an animal shelter or for some other community service event. You are likely to meet some people who share your interests.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    I've been a bit busy recently, but was going out running with the local club once or twice a week.
    If you're into cardio, it's a good way to meet like minded people. Some of the groups would often go to the pub after on some evenings.
    Obviously will depend what's arund where you are, but in most places you can find a running club not TOO far away I reckon (ok, in the wilds of the west coast of Scotland, maybe less so due to low population density.)

    I think ballroom/salsa etc dancing is still fairly popular.
    I'm not that great at it and it's certainly not the sort of thing you'd usually expect to see me at, but did go along to some when my gym was doing them - I like the challenge.

    And finally - indoor rock climbing is also a nice bit of exercise and I've always found people to be really friendy.
    (Have heard others suggest it can be a bit cliquey, but despite being quite shy, I've always felt comfortable talking to strangers in such places - most open to 10pm or so on weeknights too.)

    As far as meeting possible SOs - Dancing is probably better for the blokes, as there's usually a shortage of blokes. You're also partnered up, so get a chance to chat etc. However odds still aren't that bad for ladies.
    Running it seems to depend on the level - the faster you get, the higher proportion of men - I'd say the bottom group at my local club is on average 99% women, but next couple are maybe 50:50 average.
    Climbing you'll likely find a lot of blokes and very few women, so nice ratios for the OP.

    (Edit again - of course I'm talking hetro here, you'd presumably reverse it if not, but that's a bit beyond my pay grade!)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I personally enjoy being alone. I think the person who hinted at Extrovert/Introvert was onto something. Look into this and research online and you may just be a person who thrives on company, sharing, and others and it's just a way of being. Not desperate or lonely or any other negative thing. It's just what drives you. You will likely find ideas and tips in your research and be better for it.

    other key words to search "meyers-briggs", type-talk, temperament.
  • MissObstinatiox
    MissObstinatiox Posts: 275 Member
    Thank you all for your feedback :)
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
    I've taken up twerking, hallway speed skating, dancing in shower, and shake weight shaking. There are many things I've done to keep myself occupied and am perfectly happy doing these things alone.

    Loneliness isn't because you don't have someone around. Loneliness is a state of mind. I know this, because divorce taught me that.

    He hit the nail on the head here.... well, except maybe the twerking :laugh:

    Seriously, you have to be able to enjoy your own company before you can be in a good solid relationship. I spent years with my ex in a very unhappy situation because I was scared to be alone. Now, I enjoy it! When the 2 older kids are out and the baby is in bed, I can just relax and do what I feel like doing. Sometimes it's reading a book.... sometimes playing mindless games on my phone or the internet. But you really do need to be able to like your own company!
  • MissObstinatiox
    MissObstinatiox Posts: 275 Member
    I do enjoy my own company but they do even say too much of a good thing can even bad lol...

    I think i may come across as sounding rather desperate haha...i,m not! well not yet! :)

    There really is just so much twerking etc i can do....
    Trust me most of my mfp friends will be the first to say i get up to random stuff due to boredom at nights.

    Just would be nice to talk to some at nights :)
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    You can talk to me, if you like :) I'm not about to ask for "Kik" because I don't want to get it.
    I do have skype and I'm up at odd hours of the night, so you'd probably be awake at those times in early morning UK :)
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    You can talk to me, if you like :) I'm not about to ask for "Kik" because I don't want to get it.
    I do have skype and I'm up at odd hours of the night, so you'd probably be awake at those times in early morning UK :)

    Be careful OP...I think she's a vampire. But, a cool vampire :drinker:
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    You can talk to me, if you like :) I'm not about to ask for "Kik" because I don't want to get it.
    I do have skype and I'm up at odd hours of the night, so you'd probably be awake at those times in early morning UK :)

    Be careful OP...I think she's a vampire. But, a cool vampire :drinker:
    That's cool, I've been called a vamp before XD
  • wjstoj
    wjstoj Posts: 884 Member
    get a puppy
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,371 Member
    Do you have access to babysitters you can trust? If so, there's a great site called meetup.com which you can use for free where members set up activities which everyone is welcome to attend. You may well find a group on there for women with young children where you can sign up for daytime activities. I'm not sure where you are in the country but the Nottingham group is really active with a handful of events every week.
  • JesusBiscuits
    JesusBiscuits Posts: 66
    I found my SO here. Filter through and I'm sure you'll find interesting people :flowerforyou:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    You are gorgeous! I have a hard time understanding why you are alone at night. :smile:
  • Amazonbella
    Amazonbella Posts: 338
    I am a single female and I understand the "being alone at night" thing as well. Which is why I did finally join a gym, although I have a treadmill at home, so I have the best of both worlds. When I want to be alone I can workout at home, when I want interaction I go to the gym.

    I would also look into any type of volunteering, because that is a good way to have social interaction with a good group of people face to face....or other group meet ups for singles!!! :)

    Or if you want to stay home and flirt with boys try a dating site, but do that with an open mind, I mean, we are talking about people on the internet (so you never know who you may get-some good, some bad) but it's usually fun and gives you the social interaction!!!
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    FR Sent!
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    I am a single female and I understand the "being alone at night" thing as well. Which is why I did finally join a gym, although I have a treadmill at home, so I have the best of both worlds. When I want to be alone I can workout at home, when I want interaction I go to the gym.

    I would also look into any type of volunteering, because that is a good way to have social interaction with a good group of people face to face....or other group meet ups for singles!!! :)

    I don't foresee that "single" being for a prolonged amount of time :love:
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    FR Sent!

    :angry:

    I thought we had something special!!!

    *runs away crying*
  • Amazonbella
    Amazonbella Posts: 338
    @PAWNSTAR....Thank you doll (hmmm maybe I should try MFP dating! LOL)
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    FR Sent!

    :angry:

    I thought we had something special!!!

    *runs away crying*

    He told me the same thing! Damnit Ryry. :brokenheart:
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    FR Sent!

    :angry:

    I thought we had something special!!!

    *runs away crying*

    No...wait...don't go...

    I didn't mean it...I've never seen her before in my life.

    I don't know how her # got in my phone.
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    FR Sent!

    :angry:

    I thought we had something special!!!

    *runs away crying*

    No...wait...don't go...

    I didn't mean it...I've never seen her before in my life.

    I don't know how her # got in my phone.

    Lies, all lies! :brokenheart:
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    So i,m wondering if i,m the only one who generally feels like this.
    All day i,m fine and have loads to do and workout daily etc.
    In the evenings when i,m alone and bored i really feel like i,m the only one feeling like this!

    I have gone down the route of talking to people online etc and struggle to find anyone who is the u,k with similar issues of focusing on working out and generally working towards goals and feeling lonely at nights with no one to talk to.

    I don,t always want to result to having to workout or go to bed early because of boredom.
    As i said it,s the nights and all i seem to get as of late is people asking for KIKS which then result to wanting to trade pics etc...

    Is it just me being naive in thinking that people do generally want to get to know someone?

    Can you generally find a SO online in a place like this?

    I know what you mean, OP. I was with my ex-husband from the age of 18-22 and when we split in February it was really hard to get back into the swing of things, since I'd never been a single adult.

    My suggestion is to focus on yourself more than anything- don't rely on other people, especially people from the internet, to fill that loneliness void. Take up new hobbies, read a good book, etc and make yourself feel good that way.

    As for MFP specifically, I've met quite a few awesome people that I'd consider friends. Got close to flying somewhere to meet a guy once too, but that didn't pan out. While it's probably fairly rare, you CAN meet a significant other here... but I wouldn't bank on it.

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