I'm amazed 45 pounds down and I still feel just as fat

quiltlovinlisa
quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
in Motivation and Support
I can pick out individual differences. My face is definitely thinner. My clothes are smaller. I have some great muscles going on underneath it all. I can feel my ribs without any effort but even with all that, when I look at myself and get the full picture, I don't feel any different.

It seems pretty whacked in my head.

Granted, at 197, I still am obese, I still have a ways to go but I feel like I should feel different.

So the game plan, keep working, keep pushing, keep on keeping on and hopefully my head can catch up with the changes in my body. Anyone else experience this?
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Replies

  • IamUndrCnstruction
    IamUndrCnstruction Posts: 691 Member
    Definitely can relate. I have only lost 23 pounds so far, so maybe there ISN'T a big difference, but when I look in the mirror, I see the same thing as when I started this. I know I have dropped a size in jeans, and am about to drop another, but....I still think I look the same.

    Something happened last night though that caught me off guard. A friend took a picture of me without my being aware (we were having a sing along with friends lol) and she posted it on FaceBook without me knowing. Well, I came across it later and for the first time in a long long time, I thought I looked more like a "normal" person than a "fat girl". Still have a looong way to go, but I do think our heads will catch up with what our bodies are really starting to look like. Keep it up!!!

    :flowerforyou:
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
    I hope our heads catch up! It's a freaky feeling, when I break it down I feel so good and then I look in the mirror and it's still me.
  • GettingMooreInShape
    GettingMooreInShape Posts: 80 Member
    Think of all the positive things you're doing for your body by losing 45 lbs! Sometimes you have to look beyond the weight. You are putting less strain on your heart, and you've proved to yourself that you CAN lose weight! Keep it up girlfriend!
  • Adrinjoesmommy
    Adrinjoesmommy Posts: 1
    I'm feeling the same way. I've lost 41 pounds and when I look in the mirror I still see the old me :(
  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
    I've lost around 130 pounds and sometimes feel like that. What I suggest is keeping so e of your bigger clothes and trying them on to physically show you how far you've come.
  • Domane1963
    Domane1963 Posts: 85 Member
    Get someone to take some photos of you from the front, side and rear. When I'd lost my first 28lbs, although I was in a smaller size pair of jeans, I didn't feel any different. My husband commented about my smaller bottom and I laughed and said he was making it up. He insisted it was a lot smaller so I asked him to take some photos when I then compared to ones of my larger self ones and I nearly fell off my chair in shock as I really could see such a difference! Logically, my brain would expect to see differences in someone else who had lost weight, but I just couldn't relate it to me, personally until I saw the evidence!

    If you take photos as you shrink, you'll be really glad you've done it. Keep a pair of your biggest trousers too, to occasionally climb into to physically see how much smaller you are. I gave all mine to the charity shop and I do regret not keeping back just one pair.....
  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
    Even after all the weight I have lost I still feel fat and still see the fat girl starring at me in the mirror everyday. Not sure that feeling will ever go away...
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
    Thank you everyone, great words of advice.

    I do physically feel better. I move better. I have greater endurance. I'm more flexible. I can definitely do exercises I couldn't do before.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    As others have said, you have to really think positively. Force yourself at first if you have to! Maybe make a list of 5 things you're greatful for since losing weight?

    I also recommend taking some yoga classes. It'll help you feel connected to your body (and your head and your heart).

    You have accomplished A LOT. Keep reminding yourself that!
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
    I have lost 66lbs. I still feel the same mentally. I have dropped 4 jean sizes and I know that I look different but I still feel fat and gross. I still have a long way to go. I just hope I can start feeling better about myself.
  • DaddyDave101
    DaddyDave101 Posts: 72 Member
    Definitely can relate. I have only lost 23 pounds so far, so maybe there ISN'T a big difference, but when I look in the mirror, I see the same thing as when I started this. I know I have dropped a size in jeans, and am about to drop another, but....I still think I look the same.

    Something happened last night though that caught me off guard. A friend took a picture of me without my being aware (we were having a sing along with friends lol) and she posted it on FaceBook without me knowing. Well, I came across it later and for the first time in a long long time, I thought I looked more like a "normal" person than a "fat girl". Still have a looong way to go, but I do think our heads will catch up with what our bodies are really starting to look like. Keep it up!!!

    :flowerforyou:

    I feel this too, but put it down to me constantly looking in the mirror to see the difference. If I look everyday a few times how can I expect to see a difference...

    My partner friends telling me and the cold hard fact about clothes being baggy/the scales/ tape measure are whats keeping me going!

    Saying all of this I feel your pain... I am so commited I am passing up anything that isn't classed as good for me at the moment. I am eating sensible dont get me wrong but I think I need to realise eating something bad just like eating something good isn't going to make a difference... Its the overall calories that will!
  • Urban_Princess
    Urban_Princess Posts: 219 Member
    I totally had this moment this morning. I looked in the mirror and said "all my clothes still fit, they aren't as baggy as everyone is saying on MFP". But now I wonder if I was wearing really tight clothing all this time and now they finally fit properly. Either way, I still feel fat even after the 20lb drop. After the first ten i noticed a huge difference, but with the second 10 I don't see a difference at all.
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
    I know the feeling! I've lost 87 and I can still look at myself without clothes and think I see just as much fat as before I lost the 87. My husband tells me definately not! But, in my head and thru my eyes I see fat! I guess in my case it just flabby now instead of filled out? I have no idea if that makes any sense? I can really see a difference in my clothes having come from a 22/24 pants to a size 12/14. And from a 2xl top to a medium. I'm at 173 now and still have about 23 ish to go. 5'7.5"
    It's really nice seeing other people feel the same way I do!
  • alienrite
    alienrite Posts: 314 Member
    Keeping a pair of your pants from your heaviest weight is a smart idea. Something about the struggle to fit into clothes for so long makes having clothes start falling off helps connect emotionally to your progress. Even at (or below) my goal weight, I still feel fat sometimes. Your emotional and intellectual image of yourself follows the change and is about as slow to change as your body is to lose fat. It gets better over time...photos help a lot too.
  • DontWeightForMe
    DontWeightForMe Posts: 38 Member
    45 lb is A-mazing! I just signed up and have a lot of weight to lose.. Keep your focus on feeling better, having more energy, better skin, loser clothes...all the little things that remind you of journey you are on the that you are in the right direction. You are my inspiration that you've followed through this far. Chin up. One day at a time. Keep it up! I hope to be following in your footsteps the following months! You go girl!
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
    I agree with the advice to look at old pictures and take some new ones, it helps. I sometimes see the same fat girl in the mirror and I've lost over 100 lbs. Weight loss is definitely a mental fight.
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member
    Find an activity, that you were having problems with before. Maybe a flight of stairs that kicked your *kitten* all the time. Try it now, revel in the EASE of taking that flight of stairs or find a chair with arms you were unwilling/unable to squeeze in before and know how much you've changed.

    That will help you even more than pictures, belt holes, or numbers on a scale.

    The day before I joined this site, I went to a Patriots game and getting to my seats on the top level of the Stadium made me want to die. Just walking up ramps. This past July I ran a 10K that ended in Gillette Stadium and I ran the @#$% out of those ramps before coming out of the giant inflatable Patriots helmet and across the the 50 yard line to finish the race. I cannot convey the feeling of TRIMUPH I felt.

    This past september I did the electric run at Gillette and I didn't know we'd have to finish in the stadium running the ramps but I was hollering and whooping the entire time and the people around me must have thought I was out of my flipping mind.
  • LizLearnstoRun
    LizLearnstoRun Posts: 57 Member
    I am in a similar position I have lost 40+ pounds, avoid a scale so I don't know but I know logically I am a lot thinner than I was. Still obese technically but lots thinner. But I still think of and see the fat sad girl that is scared to meet people because of it in the mirror. I don't really know how one fixes that but I do understand the feeling.
  • SherryL0419
    SherryL0419 Posts: 44 Member
    I think for myself for so long I've had this mindset of looking in the mirror and being so unhappy with what I see that I still "see" that when I look in the mirror. But when I see a picture of myself now it will almost bring me to tears that it's really ME. So I understand where you're coming from....if you have before pictures I would recommend doing a side by side comparison. Keep up the awesome work! :flowerforyou:
  • 1JenMilam
    1JenMilam Posts: 108 Member
    I'm 116 lbs thinner and a size 4/6 but still see the size 20w/22w girl in the mirror
  • workout_ninja
    workout_ninja Posts: 524 Member
    I feel the same. Ive lost over 50lbs and am at a healthy BMI but when I look in the mirror all I see is my big fat belly - the same one I always saw - Im really hoping my head catches up with my body, until then, I have to consciously tell myself Im not fat
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Get someone to take some photos of you from the front, side and rear. When I'd lost my first 28lbs, although I was in a smaller size pair of jeans, I didn't feel any different. My husband commented about my smaller bottom and I laughed and said he was making it up. He insisted it was a lot smaller so I asked him to take some photos when I then compared to ones of my larger self ones and I nearly fell off my chair in shock as I really could see such a difference! Logically, my brain would expect to see differences in someone else who had lost weight, but I just couldn't relate it to me, personally until I saw the evidence!

    If you take photos as you shrink, you'll be really glad you've done it. Keep a pair of your biggest trousers too, to occasionally climb into to physically see how much smaller you are. I gave all mine to the charity shop and I do regret not keeping back just one pair.....

    This is great advice. I had the same problem, seeing the same thing in the mirror as I did before I lost 50lbs, but when I look back on pictures, I can see it.
  • CompressedCarbon
    CompressedCarbon Posts: 357 Member
    Are you better and badder than you were yesterday? Then it's a WIN. In this area, feelings are liars and don't tell the truth.
  • DaddyDave101
    DaddyDave101 Posts: 72 Member
    How many times did you used to look in the mirror... When I wasn't bothered I didn't look. Never felt the need too.

    Maybe you are forgetting the difference because you never really looked then?
  • SNLover87
    SNLover87 Posts: 101 Member
    Definitely can relate. I have only lost 23 pounds so far, so maybe there ISN'T a big difference, but when I look in the mirror, I see the same thing as when I started this. I know I have dropped a size in jeans, and am about to drop another, but....I still think I look the same.

    Something happened last night though that caught me off guard. A friend took a picture of me without my being aware (we were having a sing along with friends lol) and she posted it on FaceBook without me knowing. Well, I came across it later and for the first time in a long long time, I thought I looked more like a "normal" person than a "fat girl". Still have a looong way to go, but I do think our heads will catch up with what our bodies are really starting to look like. Keep it up!!!

    :flowerforyou:

    This. I had the exact same experience. Sometimes it just hits you out of nowhere. And let me tell you - seeing that normal-sized person for the first time is a crazy thing. Your mind will eventually catch up with everything else...sometimes it takes awhile. But it will happen :)
  • Rogstar
    Rogstar Posts: 216 Member
    That's excellent weight loss! I have around the same numbers as you...I started last year at 237 and am now at 197 as well. Some days I look at myself in the mirror and think that I'm at the perfect size and feel super good. The next day I'll see someone fatter than ever.

    On the days that I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, I have to remind myself what I've done so far. I go and pick up my daughter (who's about 45lbs now) and carry her around the house for a few minutes. It's doable...but boy do I get the point. I used to carry all that around with me all the time?!?! Even better...if I keep going, I'll have shed the weight of at least 2 of her!
  • TheGirlsATimeBomb
    TheGirlsATimeBomb Posts: 434 Member
    so much ditto. everyone says i look so amazing, and i'm like... i look the same....
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    I think everyone has fat days/ skinny days. It takes a long time to get over the mental damage as much as the physical damage. I looked at myself every day in the mirror and talked down to that image and I know that does effect a person just as much as someone else saying nasty things. I would recommend really focusing on each of the positives that you've accomplished. Tell yourself you're doing great, look great, and are getting better each day. :)
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
    The best thing to do is take pictures and measurements.

    Even with all that though and the fact that all of my clothes fall off, I can wear last year's winter coat over a sweatshirt and zip it up with plenty of room to spare, I can wrap a bath towel around myself, and I can fit in my old pajamas again I still see my old fat self in the mirror.

    I'm still overweight and losing. My friends and family see a huge difference but I don't. I think part of it is because we see ourselves in the mirror everyday and are our own worst critics. The other part for me at least is that I've never been successful at keeping it off before so I still have self doubt now, even though I've been doing this consistently for almost six months and kept at it through some very troubled times when before I quit.

    But now I'm also seeing some of the health benefits. My blood pressure is back in the low range, I'm (knocks on wood) rarely sick except for a chronic problem, I have more energy than ever, and I have a healthy relationship with food for the first time in my life. So you also need to look at the little things that the mirror does not show.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    I really hope that you can find a way to change your attitude and feel good about yourself and your progress. There is nothing to be gained by deciding to be dissatisfied and overly critical. Are you healthy? Are you strong? Perhaps shift your focus from appearance to health and then you may be better able to recognize, and appreciate, your accomplishments. Success and self-love/acceptance does not come from a number on the scale or a clothing size. Get healthy, get strong and learn to accept yourself as you are when you are doing the best that you can. I'm 41, I have a child, I don't look like a movie star, nor do I expect to, nor am I going to put myself down because I'm not "perfect". No one is perfect. I AM the healthiest person that I know, however (along with a number of my MFP friends who share a similar lifestyle).

    PS. Reading through the posts was depressing. All these beautiful women who continue to look down upon themselves. It's a symptom of unrealistic expectations of our society, but we CAN choose to stop participating in thinking we are not good enough and that we need to buy this, this and this to fix ourselves. Do it for yourself, or at the very least, for your daughters so that they don't grow up learning to hate themselves. I think it's a shame that I didn't learn to love and accept myself until age 40, but better late than never. :flowerforyou:

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