Birthday party at bar, who pays?

Bucky83 · November 2013

Just had this for my future mother in law. You plan, you invite, you pay. For everyone. You can't invite someone to a party and then go "oh heyyy... I need 20 dollars"

Agreed! Very tacky if you're arranging a party for someone else! When it was my Birthday, I purposely didn't say it was a celebration for my Birthday and just said to a small group of people, 'Let's go out on the town, have a few drinks, some dinner!" It allowed everyone to do/work within their financial limitations and at the end of the night, the rest of them left happy and I thought it was a great 'Birthday gathering'.

I was invited to my best friend's 30th and the Birthday Girl's husband paid for all of us, including the alcohol. Guests were limited to close friends only, but it was perfect.

To also add, if you choose to ask people to pay, ask for them to do so 'in lieu of gifts'. Sounds like the only way to get around it without seeming like "Gimme gimme gimme".

Laces_0ut · November 2013

if you are throwing a birthday party event of course you pay and its definitely tacky to ask for money from guests. if its at a restaurant or if its at home. would you charge people to come to his house if you were having the party there?(assuming you provided food and alcohol)

its no different.

if i were you id just have everyone go to a birthday dinner. in that case everyone splits the bill evenly except the birthday boy. then everyone can move to the bar after. that way you arent on the hook for the entire bill.

AZKristi · November 2013

Its a bit rude to invite someone to a party and ask them to pay to get in (I'm assuming this isn't a frat party...).

If I was hosting I would cover the cost of food and then opt for a cash bar. That way people can wish your friend a happy birthday without having to pay. You can indicate on the invitation that it will be a cash bar. Or... if you are doing printed invites, you can direct people to a website for more info and let people know on the website it will be a cash bar.

If you can't afford it in a bar, try and find a reception hall that lets you bring your own caterer. We did this for our wedding and had a hosted bar that cost us $1.50 per person (included the bar, bartender, soft drinks, ice, mixers, cups, etc). We supplied all of the alcohol. The booze came from Costco because they let you return unopened bottles. In the end, there wasn't too much left over and we enjoyed it for months after the wedding.

Kearsed · November 2013

The pay for food and have a cash bar option isn't bad. That way I'm not asking for money, you want to drink, go ahead. Its actually going to be at a place where its 30 dollars a person for open everything. I'll get a price for just food.

ktno1 · November 2013

I don't see anything wrong with putting "Food provided. Drinks at bar prices." on the invite. Have received this many times and don't really object to it. A lot of people will come just to get free booze so you're paying for people who don't really care to be there.

ETA: For my 21st we bought 5 cases each of red wine, white wine, champagne, and 10 cases of beer and just hired somebody to serve. Turned out way cheaper than paying for a bar tab. Of course you can't do this at a bar-type venue because of liquor licencing rules.

kelly_e_montana · November 2013

I think some of it depends on where you live. I am a bartender in Montana and it's very common for people to have parties where they pay for the food and maybe a keg of beer through the venue and have a cash bar on the rest. In fact, open bar is almost unheard of. I've only been to a couple of weddings ever that were open bar and no birthday parties at a rented venue that were open bar. I've never worked at one that was open bar myself.

I think it probably varies by area of the country and how formal people are or are not.

Birthday party at bar, who pays?

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